Monday, January 03, 2005

Recent Events : January Third - Oh Five

You may recall that a few days ago, i reported that i unintentionally called the SSI office and told them that i was living in Hawai'i...!!! The lady on the phone ( Jean ) seemed Very Upset about this, and advised me to Immediately run over my nearest SSI office to turn myself in...!!!
So i did that, and since there wasn't a Claims Adjuster available on that day, i had to come back the next day...

Also: As a side note ( Small Digression ) -- Before i could enter the SSI office, i had to endure a search of my person & personals... while standing there waiting for the over weight security officers to paw through my back-pack, i attempted to engage one of them in a bit of security related banter...! "i heard on the radio the other day that airport security personal are now checking womens breasts for explosives... by squeezing them...! What i find curious about this is that; Why don't they check their butts as well... or Stomachs... or Mens stomachs & Asses...???" Sadly; The security officer that i was talking to, did not seem to understand the point that i was making.

So the next day; after being searched again, i waited for about a half an hour, and then was allowed into their inner sanctum... (?) ...which was a bare, undecorated office of plain school luncheon tables and cheap, 15 year old computers. The lady who was conducting my interrogation told me her name-- Twice -- but it was Japanese and i sounded like a cat coughing up a hairball... ( ! ) The inquiry of my lastest living arrangements stretched back to March of last year, since that was the last time i had done anything to arouse their curiosity in me. It all went surprisingly well, with very few slanderous allegations, rude innuendoes, or screaming fits.
Only once or twice was she required to slap me across the head with a ruler to regain my attention. The whole ordeal only lasted about 7 hours, and i was allowed to leave without restrictions... There was mention of an electronic monitoring device, but i don't recall them attaching on to me, although i do have a sore neck and an unaccounted for bandaid over my spinal column... ( ? )
Today while i was getting my usual cup of Coffee, mixed together from various types of Cappuccino & 'Normal' Coffees, and my usual slab of Bread Pudding... i experienced some additionally wiggiliness...
i went to the middle aisle checkout counter, which is inexplicably situated behind a thick column supporting the roof...! To get to the checkout counter, you have to sidestep this column and work your way around, squeezing by the magazine, gum, candy and 'remainders' racks...
While i was standing there, holding a coffee and slab of breadpudding, and supporting my back-pack over one shoulder, squeezed between the load bearing column and the magazine racks, someone came up suddenly from behind me and insisted that i 'Make way' for him to get through...! i insisted that there wasn't room, but he wouldn't take No for a possible solution...
When i turned, he was holding a pile of newspapers, and continued to push forward... Not knowing what his intentions were, i suggested that if he were to back out, i could remove myself from the line, and he would be able to proceed with less hindrance... But he seemed to think that he was making reasonable progress as things stood, and pushed ahead with renewed vigor...!
i stepped backwards into the magazine rack, and he squeeze by me and then renewed his insistence with the customer standing in front of me...! Then he deposited several newspapers at The End of the Counter... ( It would have been so much easier if he'd simply -Gone around- !!! )
So this completely frazzled me.
When i came up the counter, which, by the way, doesn't have any room for you to set anything down before you're expected to pay for it... So that i have Zero Preparation time after setting down my meager goods, getting out my wallet, and digging out the appropriate sum...
So i fumbled with that, Got a 10$ bill out and then dug through my change pouch to find the 48 cents i needed, so that i would get a clean 8$ back... as i was pulling a series of pennies out, i asked the girl-- How much i had so far, since i'm terrible at counting pennies...!!! i had to ask her Twice before she started, and then after returning several pennies the first time, recounted and returned several more...!!! Done--! ( i thought ) i picked up my coffee and slab of bread pudding, and made my way to the end of the counter, when i realized that i didn't get my change...!!!
When i mentioned this to the girl, she insisted that she did give me my change, and i restated that i didn't get it, and she re-reinsisted that she'd given it to me...!!!
The end.
i looked all over, knowing that she hadn't given it to me, but i was trying to be cooperative, and when i announced that i didn't have it, she said that she'd have to count her drawer money, but made no motion to do this... ( there was a long line of people waiting...! )
So i just left.
i will never shop there again.
No more fancy coffee. No more Bread Pudding...!!!
i think that they Bread Puddings were doing something mischievous in my intestines anyways...!!!
These sorts of things are invariably arranged by angels.
Did they want me to stop eating Bread Pudding, or were they more concerned with the laundry that i was planning to spend that change on...???
Things would be so much easier if angels would just leave messages under my pillow.
i've had this 'impression' for several weeks now that my poops have contained a Much Larger amount of material that what i've been eating.
One possible explanation is that i'm eating more when my 'other' personality is in control of my body...?
i've been thinking lately that i may have developed multiple personalities during my childhood after various 'traumatic' events, which i can recall only 'portions' of...???
The thing is though... i don't seem to suffer from 'blackouts' ( usually ) ... So i'm not sure when these other personalities are possessing me...???
This general theory though... Would explain a lot of other curious circumstances...???
( One of the most frequent is being mistaken for someone else...???
...i'm not really the sort that comes in a generic package... i'm fairly unique,
so-- if there are more of my 'type-alikes' running around...
it is additionally curious that i haven't run into any of them...? )

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