Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Your Eyes Will Bleed... ( ! )

You may recall that several months ago, before i left for Hawai'i--
My life was bespattered by a series of events that i have since come to refer to as 'Wiggily'.
A Wiggily event is neither good nor bad-- intrinsically...
But may be perceived as good or bad initially...
Then; after a period of time, The Wiggily event will be perceived as either bad or good,
or perhaps even indifferently...!
Then after another interval of time, you will again switch its appraisal to good or bad or indifferent...
And then again & again...
Eventually; You will recall the initial circumstances of the event, and be unable to decide if it affected you adversely or not... ( ? )
You may; After a longer period, come to suspect that it was all arranged by Angels, that were motivated by inconsequential mischievousness, or were Shaping you to a form that will ultimately benefit The Agenda of The Universe... But again-- You will be unable to decide or determine which is most true.
Wiggiliness is defined such; that it's perceived onset is most clearly delineated by its quirkiness.
That is; You will anticipate that some upcoming event will proceed in such & such a manner,
And Wiggiliness will superimpose itself upon that situation by it's unpredictability.
Again; This unpredictability will not necessarily be The Opposite of the Intended or Desired Effect...
So that if you're expecting something 'Green' you will be presented with something 'Red'.
Red is in one sense, The opposite of Green, and as such, you may be gravely disappointed that your desired Green something was not Green!
But that's Not Wiggily.
Since Green is manifest as visible light; The thing that you're anticipating might be Black or even White...
And these might be considered Opposites as well, or at least seriously tangential to Green...!
But these examples are Not Wiggily either.
To be Considered Wiggily; You would necessarily be expecting Green;
And find yourself presented with a Rhinoceros.
Or a HedgeTrimmer made of coffee grounds & Tabasco sauce.
That's what happened to me during the summer of 2004.
And not just one or two Wiggily things;
But Wiggiliness of an unprecedented scale.
So lately; i'd been thinking that this 'Run' of Wiggiliness had run it's course,
And i was getting back to my normal stream of sorrow & tragedy.
But no... Wiggiliness is still abounding.
Figure a : The Net Profit of It All

The Beginning
  1. Money & Weather : You may further recall that i'd been wanting to return to the mainland for several months, in fact, pretty much, within hours, after i got here. i was attempting for a time to rationalize why i had come here, and for a short period, thought that i needed somekind of 'Closure'... But then; within a few days-- Decided that i had had enough closure, and that i really needed to Open up some new things, then Close Them...! But-- Also; i was aware that winter was setting in around Washington & Oregon, and i'd exhausted by financial basket of peaches. i would have to wait for the weather to improve and my Saving account to fluff up.
  2. Where to Live...??? : i was also deeply undecided as to where i wanted to live now. Washington has been my home for most of my life, and i felt that since they 'produced' & 'neglected' me into the disfunctional misfit that i am-- they should be held responsible for my perpetual care & feeding. But it's also the home of the most evil company in the universe, so it has that working against it. Oregon was near by, and i'd lived a few years there, But it wasn't Washington.. And while Oregon is a very progressive state, They do tend to be a little quirky about somethings, sometimes...??? ( i'd prefer not to give any examples, because i'm not so sure of my facts, but while i was living there-- odd things would come in the mail from time to time...? ) California was pretty much out, although i'd live there, as a street person and within the confines of the Industrial/Military/Entertainment Complex. There were some places & things i liked about California, and although i like Arnold S- as a Actor & Bodybuilder, i just didn't feel that i'd be comfortable living there...??? Farther East, was never even considered. ( Although i've been wanting to move to Scotland for many years... )
  3. Leaving Hawai'i...? : As for when i would go back to the mainland, i'd been thinking throughout The Winter, that March would be the earliest... But then the weather turned Very Cold Here in Hawai'i during March, so i thought that i should wait a little longer... If it was getting down to the lower 50's here... then it must be 10 to 20 degrees lower in Oregon & Washington...!!! i was feeling that 52 degrees in the mornings was Very Cold... But even so, i didn't bother to put on long pants...! When i was a street person 20 years ago, i would typically run around Washington & Oregon with Snow on the ground, and i'd only be wearing a T-Shirt, Jeans and Pull-over Sweater... And never became alarmed at how cold it was. It was cold, but not alarmingly cold...???
  4. Sunday: April 10th : Then something odd happened. i was sleeping on my Favorite porch in Wahiawa, and at about 8:30pm, a woman that works in the building there, accompanied by a male friend, decided to come by and install a printer...! "What are you doing here so late on a Sunday...?" i exclaimed...! They turned out to be very courteous, as was i--- despite my confusion, and were soon on their way. They didn't call the police and i slept there uneventfully for the rest of the night. But the next day, i was thinking that this was an Omen of sorts...! i'd been considering leaving that very next day, on the 11th, but then, just a few days before, decided to exercise a bit of procrastination, & put it off until the end of the month. But now, i reconsidered leaving right away...! So i did some laundry that day, and returned my unfinished library book... and then returned to that porch that evening--- Just to see if they'd taken any steps to discourage me from sleeping there any more... The first thing i noticed when approaching the porch, was that the gate was closed more than usual... Not closed all the way, but normally it's wide open. So as i was getting closer to look over the railing, i heard someone coughing on the porch...!!! They must have been on the floor, Sleeping perhaps, because the railing is quite low. So i took this as a second Omen and left. Then i walked a few blocks north to 'Our Lady of Sorrows'; a Catholic Church, which is not quite so nice as the porch, but i've used it a few times in a pinch...!
  1. Tuesday : That Tuesday, i looked up some flights on the Internet and found an Hawai'ian Flight going to Portland for $272.35--- And i'd pretty much made up my mind to live in Corvallis, since i couldn't recall anything that had happened to me there that was particularly bad...??? What is curious-- is that while i remember some things distinctly about Corvallis, i can't recall Anywhere that i'd ever slept there...??? ( i do seem to recall that i found a TV room there, and watched The Mini-Series 'Shogun' which aired in 1980 ) The flight left at around 1:20 and arrived very late in Portland. i'd first thought that i would try to stay at the airport that night, which would have been quite reasonable... and then left the next morning, but i got all antsy and left that night.
  2. Slight Digression : i forgot to mention that the Inflight Movie, On Hawai'ian Airlines, which cost 5$, ( Free on ATA! ) --was Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' which was rather disappointing, because it diverged so wildly from The Books...!!! In The Movie 'Contact', Book by Carl Sagen; it left out the two good ideas from the book; Specifically-- Emergent Complexity & Secret Messages in Pi...!!! In Lemony Snicket's... They restructured the most charming elements of the books...! For one thing, Violet is said to be a Masterful Inventor in the books, but all her Inventions are so Improbable & Useless that they would Never Work in the real world... In the Movie, her inventions are the typical, over wrought Rube Goldberg Contraptions that actually seem to do something...!!! How tiresome...! Then there's Sunny's Babbling... In the Books, she is speaking CryptoVerse, In the Movie, it is simply BabyTalk... ( Although, the sound on the plane was AWFUL... so i may be mistaken about this...??? ) And then, Amoung other innovations, is the disappearance of The VFD Mystery... Instead; to create a visual icon of The Secret Society that they are attempting to Uncover, they introduced a ubiquitous SpyGlass...! In fact; i don't seem to recall that in the first three books, which this movie was supposed to cover, The children were even aware of the Secret Society yet... They'd come across the initials VFD, But had no idea-- yet --that it referred to a secret society... And again; In this movie they introduced a line that was only revealed in one of the most recent books... "That there are people who start fires, and people that put them out" ...Which i suspect; in the books, is a metaphor for 'All Things of Worldly Importance', But in the movie, it refers to just fires...!!! i really have no 'General Complaints' about Movies that Strongly Diverge from The Book that they're based on, so long as the Movie is Faithful to the Ideology of the Book, or becomes an Entirely Autonomous Artifact that may be thought of as something Unrelated to the Original Source, But this Movie is simply a Populist Rehashing of These Characters into Conventional Pabulum.
  3. MAX : After getting off the Plane in Portland, i discovered that outside, it was VERY COLD... so in my incredibly Naive Manner, i thought, If only i could get a little bit further south, then it will be substantially warmer...!!! So i asked around a bit, and discovered that Portland has a light-rail System called 'MAX' and it would take me to Beaverton, which is one of the Southern most Suburban Communities surrounding Portland... The Curious thing about MAX, is that after you buy a ticket from a Vending Machine, it's apparently Never Validated by anyone or anything in the Vicinity of the Trains themselves... In fact; it was made clear to me that only an Idiot would ever actually buy a ticket for the trains...! So i got on one anyway, ( $1.75 for all 3 Zones ) and began heading south. i talked to some nice girls sitting nearby about something or another... i forget what... then we finally arrived in Beaverton, and after looking around, i became aware that we were in a desolate expanse of industrial waste...!!! So i jumped on a randomly selected bus, which my MAX ticket was good for, but again, no one checked to see if it was Valid...!!! After riding for about a mile & a half, i spontaneously got off and began wandering along a road...Where was i going... ( ? ) Then-- After another 3 blocks or so, i came across a large parking lot surrounding a circular Church of The Nazarene... This was around 11:00, so it was very quiet throughout the Neighborhood... Around back, i found an enclosed area that was well Illuminated, but the surrounding bushes and fences made it impossible for anyone not in the courtyard to see into it. This broke one of The Principle Rules of Security Lighting... 'Never Waste Electricity, Lighting an Area that No One can See...!' Along one wall, under a wide awning, there was a length of Carpeting on a landscaped strip of Bark...! So that's where i slept, or tried to sleep that night. As it turned out, it was SO VERY COLD that i didn't get a Wink of Seep, but instead Shivered Violently all Night Long...!!! This Sleeping Bag that i have is By Far, Oppressively Inferiour to my Old Down Sleeping Bag...!!! ( i used to Thumb around Washington & Oregon in the Middle of the Winters, with Deep Snow on the Ground, and while i recall that it was Cold then, i could always find Solace & a Reasonably Warm Haven in that sleeping bag...! ) But this Bag, made from 'Modern' materials is only good for Temperatures down to around 50 Degree's F-. i'm sure that if i had had to sleep on Cement that night, i would have certainly frozen to death...!!! ( One of those Back-Ass Miracles to be sure...!!! )
  4. Back to Portland : Rather than try to hitchhike in that Abominably Cold Weather, i decided to take a Bus & MAX back to Portland and then take a Greyhound Bus to Corvallis. ( $13.80 )
  1. Finding Someplace to Live : The moment i got into town, i was determined to get right to work at finding someplace to live, so i went straight over to the library and starting looking through a newspaper, which seemed like a reasonable First Step. i only found 3 items which seemed like they might be worth pursuing... Before i left for Hawai'i, ( September 2004 ) i passed through Corvallis, and at that time, i looked through the paper, and noticed several listings for Quads & Rooms for $250, which as in the Ball Park for what i was willing to pay... But Now...! The cheapest Quads were $300+...! ( Only a few scantily clad months later! ) i also had a list of 'Requirements' that the new Room had to adhere to... [see: appendix A] One was that the Name of The Street that it is to be on, had to have a Pleasant Sound to it...! No Numbered Streets...! So that the first place i looked at; 'Fillmore Apartments' was disqualified, Not only because the Rent was nearly $350, but because it was on a Numbered Street... Later that same day, i discovered that the Apartment Building right across the Street, 'The Oceania' On Fillmore Street ( Millard Fillmore was in fact; one of my Favorite Presidents! ) was $325 per month, But it would have only ( Only!? ) cost me the Security Deposit Plus the Move-In Fee to Move in, which would have been about $400!!! -- And i was willing to Pay That... and live Frugally...!!! But then-- The Manager wouldn't Let Me... Because my Income didn't exceed ( or equal ) the Require Two & a Half Times the Monthly Rent...!!! i was spiritually Crushed by this Revelation...! -- And the other two numbers that i got from the paper wouldn't answer their phones... -- So sometime after my first visit to The Fillmore Apartments, i trudged back downtown & after standing in front of the courthouse ( Suspiciously! ) for several minutes, A nice lady asked me what i was looking for, and by this route, found my way over to the edge of town where The Health & Family Services Building was located... There; They provided me with a list of 'Inexpensive Housing Alternatives, Reasonably Priced for the Corvallis Area' ( ! ) Which was around $300 for the tiniest Room...! Thereafter i spent an hour or so calling each one of these places, without a nibble of Success... ( Except for the failed lead to The Oceania! ) After that, still working hard, and thinking hard, i went back to the library and made a copy of the PhoneBook page with all the Apartment Complexes in Corvallis, and while i didn't Call All of them, i did call about Half of them, The Ones with Nice Sounding Street Names...! And came up with Zip.
  2. GreenCoat : Sometime during that Afternoon, i became more and more concerned about how Cold it was for that time of year...! i was really expecting pretty nice weather for The Middle of April...??? So i first went over to the local Fred Meyer's, and discovered that they had recently experienced some extensive Water Damage, So that; their Entire Ceiling had been Removed...!!! And i also discovered that they'd recently switched over to their Spring Fashions, and didn't have any 'Warm' Coats...! i was looking for something like a 'Poofy' Ski Jacket..??? Then i wandered back & forth in the downtown area, looking for a Sporting Goods Store that i recalled seeing when The Bus came into town. After finding it, They too didn't have any Appropriately Fashionable Winter Coats, But i was So Desperate that i bought a 'Rain' Coat for $119, Which is the Most i've ever Spent on an Article of Clothing...!!! And then, after i left, and the sun went down, i discovered that it had Absolutely NO Thermal Insulation Capabilities...!!! Fortunately; Although i'd considered throwing away my Pullover Sweater, i hadn't done that yet, so i had that on, Plus two T-Shirts, and i was still FREEZING...!!! ---
  3. That Night : So i wandered all over town, looking for someplace good to sleep, and found a Ball Field next to an Elementary School, that was next to a High School, and they were having some kind of Football game, so i had to continue wandering around until everyone left that event... Plus it was Raining... But at least with my New Rain Coat, i was dry, although-- my backpack was getting soaked...! At the Baseball field there were some Dugouts, which are often terrific places to sleep... So while i was waiting for it to get Dark enough to pull out my Sleeping Bag, i tried calling the two numbers that i got from the Newspaper earlier that day. One was apparently a misprint of the phone number, since the lady that answered, wasn't renting anything...??? And the other number was finally answered by a Guy that was positively Snotty that i was calling After he'd rented the unit out already...!!! -- So then as it was getting Dark, and Colder & Colder...! i began to look around for The Optimum Place to sleep, and considered the benches in the Dugouts, Then a sheet of plywood laying next to a maintenance shed, and lastly, a Portable Toilet that was big enough to accommodate a WheelChair...! The inside of the Portable Toilet was pretty well ventilated, and the smell was much more pleasantly chemicallie-- than toilety... So i Picked it. Although i was wearing my 2 T-shirts and my Pullover Sweater, it was still FREEZING in my sleeping bag...! Again, as on the previous night, i didn't get a wink of sleep, But i think i may have lapsed into somekind of Thermally Induced COMA at around 3:00am, ---Then Suddenly awoke at 5am, With my Entire Body Violently Shivering & trying to Retch...But since i hadn't eaten anything in about 2 days, there was nothing to Barf up. i think this may have been due to the Shivering of my Chest & Stomach, or it may have had something to do with the Carbon Dioxide Buildup in my body, since i was trying to seal myself inside my sleeping bag...!!! So i somehow endured that for about another hour, until i began to see some light over the mountains, and i got up.
  4. 2nd Day : That morning, after wandering around for a few hours to get warm, and kill some time, i went over to McDon'land to have a Pancake Only Breakfast, with Coffee, and a very Hard, Stale Cinnamon Roll... As i was sitting there, i cleaned out my Journal, Throwing away dozens of documents to important services and such in Hawai'i... i was certain that i wouldn't be needing them anymore, so i threw they away...! i think it was early that morning that i called a Homeless Shelter and made an appointment for an 'Interview' so that i could sleep there that coming evening... Normally i avoid such places for several reason, the most pressing i suppose would be that they are filled with obnoxious crazy people...! But i was VERY Desperate...! While the Homeless Shelter in Honolulu houses 300 each night, and turns away another 200, this place in Corvallis had enough beds in the 'Men's' Wing to house 8 ( eight )! Of which, only 4 were being used, by what appeared to be, Chronic Alcoholics. While i was there, the woman showing me around took me into the Men's Wing, and announced as she was entering that a Lady was Coming in... and for some reason... (???) ...i thought she was joking and meant ME...!!! ( ??? ) what was i thinking...??? And i made a 'Swishy Joke' and later i strongly regretted that... so much so that later that day, rather than spend the night there, i left for Ashland . i think i may have looked around a little bit more that day for an apartment and called some more places, but after so many weird OMENS, i'd lost my enthusiasm for that place... i just wanted more than anything to find someplace warm so i could sit down and Think...! ( Something that i haven't been able to do for Months...!!! )
Heading South
  1. Ashland : So it turns out that Greyhound doesn't do to Ashland, so i had to take a bus to Medford, ( $36 ) and then-- Presumably, take a local bus to Ashland... But as we were headed down there, i noticed that we were going higher & higher into the mountains... So i frantically pulled out my state map and discovered that Medford was about a quarter of a mile above sealevel, which did not seem like a good idea to me...! So i got out my Cell Phone and called Directory Assistance to give me the Number of the Greyhound Bus Depot in Medford, and hastily extended my reservations for a seat on my bus to Redding. ( $32.50 ) ( If i'd had paid for the this trip in one step; i.e., Known that it would have cost $68.50, that may very well have driven me to find a freeway and hitchhike down to California...!!! At these small increments though-- it seemed practically Free...!!! )
  2. Redding : Redding in located in the Sacramento Valley, far from the Ocean, and when i got there at around 11:30pm, it was actually pretty warm... and it remained comfortably warm until about 3:00am, When it took a slight, but noticeable dip-- But by sunrise, it was acceptably warm again. i was thinking about moving in this area, but i quickly ran into more Bad Omens, which dissuaded me from staying. One Omen was that i ran into a Crazy guy that told me that the Smallest Apartments or Rooms in Redding were going to around $800, But-- he added; that includes Utilities...! i didn't necessarily believe him, but i wouldn't be able to check up on it, since the Library was closed all day ( Friday ). The Third bad Omen was that i was pulled over by a Cop for crossing a railroad track when the bars were down & the lights were flashing...! After i assured him that i was on my way out of town, he let me go without driving me out to the edge of town & pummelling me about the head & shoulders or even stealing my shoes.
  3. Monterey : Greyhound doesn't go to Monterey either... So i had to go to Salinas, ( $61 ) and take a local Bus to Monterey. ( $2 ( ? ) ) i didn't think that i'd be moving in around Monterey or Pacific Grove, Since i already knew that They were very Expensive... But what i was surprised by was how Amazingly Cold it was there...!!! It was The Middle of April, In the Middle of California-- and the Daytime high was 60, and the Nighttime Low was around 40...!!! ( This was Virtually the same as Corvallis! ) That night; i found another ballpark, but the dugouts didn't have roofs, and i couldn't find someplace better...! i wandered around all day, and then 'till Midnight, and this was the best i could find...!!! ( Actually-- i passed up a couple of places that 'may' have been OK, or even better, but my feet were already hurting so much by then, that i settled for the Ball Park... ) Fortunately; When i climbed into my sleeping bag, with 2 T-shirts on, my pullover Sweater, AND The RainCoat...!!! Plus long jeans and socks, It was still Freezing, But i did manage to get a little sleep before waking up around 3:00am and looking up and wondering where the stars were...??? It was completely Overcast, and i could feel drops of rain starting to come down, so i hastily jumped out of my sleeping bag, stuffed everything into my backpack, then wandered off. Sometime after this, i realized that it wasn't really raining... it was in fact, just very Foggy...! A little condensation was responsible for the drops i felt... But i was walking by then, so i managed to get lost, and walked all the way around the southern edge of the Monterey Peninsula before i came back to Pacific Grove at Dawn! -- Surprisingly perhaps...??? - While i was in Hawai'i, i'd been doing very little walking... i'd been getting a $40 Bus-Pass each month, and i took the bus -EveryWhere...!- --But now on the Mainland, i was Walking Everywhere, + i think that these New Shoes that i'd gotten a week or so before this; may not be the best Walking Shoes in the World...!!!
  4. San Francisco : i stayed in Pacific Grove just long enough to use the computers at their library to find a flight back to Honolulu. i walked back to Monterey, Caught a bus to Salinas, Bought a Creationist book; Case for A Creator, then took a Greyhound bus to San Francisco. ( $20 - Which i remember, although i seemed to have lost the Ticket Receipt, Because the Agent wouldn't take my Visa Debit Card, and i had to use an ATM Machine in the Lobby, and it Charged me $2.25...!!! ) When i got to the Airport, via their BART trains, ( $5 ) i discovered that the price for a flight to Honolulu on the computer was not the price they were charging at the Check In Counter...!!! The price on the Computer in Pacific Grove was listed at something like $236, But at the Airport, they wanted $510...!!! Which i was a little short for...! So i had to go 'Standby' instead...! The ticket guy told me i had to get in line at 4:00am the next morning... ( i finally got to sleep someplace warm-- In the Airport... ( i wonder why more homeless people don't sleep there, i've done this twice and wasn't bothered in the least by security...??? ) ) ...So when i got there, No one was at the counters yet, and i had to wait another hour-- But when some ticket agents did show up, rather than 'Signing Me Up' for Standby, they just sold me a ticket for $175...!!! Apparently the flight was so undersold that they didn't bother with all the 'usual' formalities...!!!
Almost Back in Honolulu...!!!
  1. In Flight Movie : The Inflight Movie ( on ATA / Free Headphones! ) was Napoleon Dynamite, which has been getting Rave Reviews, but i thought it was Awful. As with my previous flight, the sound was just terrible, so that may have contributed, slightly, to this appraisal...!!! What the movie was about was this geekish teenage boy that is having all these hardships, then discovers true love by self-actualizing towards the end of the film. Welcome to the Dollhouse ( Dir. Todd Solondz ) was much better; in part because towards the end of the film, the Heroine does Not Self-Actualize and we are left knowing that her life will never get any better!
  2. Wine : During the last hour of the Flight, i bought a $5 bottle of Red Wine. How can anyone drink that crap...!!!
Back in Honolulu
  1. Angel Encounter : Nearly the first thing i did after getting back to Honolulu, on a Sunday, was to take a bus to the library, and across the street from it, is somekind of Municipal Building, which has one of the very few Fountains in Hawai'i...! And it is here that i took off my shoes and soaked my Blister covered Feet...!!! i had one really big on my right heel, and a slightly smaller one on my left heel, and a bunch of little ones all over the toes on my left foot...!!! So i soaked them for about 20 minutes and gently scrapped off large sheet of dead, grimy cells that tend to accumulate around my ankles...??? -- While i was sitting there, some kids, Girl-14 ( Wild Guesses for Ages...! ) Boy-11, Boy-7 & Girl-6 came through the fountain area, and the elder boy was excitedly pointing at something in the pool, and i asked him what it was, and he said 'A dime!' But for whatever reasons, he wasn't willing to wade in to get it, so i waded over to that spot, saw a Nickel, and then the Dime. After picking it up, i took it over to him, but the younger boy seemed more eager to take it, so i gave it him... All the while explaining that because whoever tossed it into the fountain was undoubtedly expecting a wish to be granted from it, the act of removing the coin will make it 'Cursed!' So the older boy is then telling the younger boy to 'throw it back, Throw it Back', which i think the younger boy did...! -- Recall please that i've never seen any of the kids before, not even casually, not even in passing...! So then the older boy comes over to me and says "What are you still doing here?" ( !!! ) "What!?" i reply... i am dumbfounded by this question...!!!-- even under 'normal' circumstances, this would be a pretty odd question, but now, 20 minutes after landing in Honolulu from my aborted tryst at freedom from this accursed place... a perfect stranger asks me this... So i'm thinking that maybe he just hates all Haoles ( Persons of European ancestry )... But this doesn't seem to be the case... He asked where i was from and it pretty much petered out after that... -- This sort of conversation fits so perfectly with my understanding of Angelic Walk-ins that i think that this Must have been one of those occasions... But of course, when this does happen, there is usually an 'Oz Effect' that makes the victim become very acquiescent to everything that is 'happening' to them... Wouldn't it have been beneficial to me if i had realized -At that time- that i was speaking directly with an Angel... But instead; It was the agenda of the angel to just let me know that i'd screwed up, nothing more.
  2. The Green RainCoat : The next day, i took the bus over to Kanehoe and gave my Green ( $119 ) Raincoat to a Salvation Army Worker...! ( It rains alot over on the Windward side, i'm sure that someone will get alot of use out of it...??? )
  3. Savings Account : A day or so latter, i finally got onto a computer and moved some of the remaining money in my Checking Account to my Savings Account, So that now; End of April, i have $664.94 in it. Then in May; i'm going to try to get it up to at least $1000, then in June, when-- Hopefully i'll try to move back to the mainland, i'll have $1600, which is nearly what i had at the start of this last fiasco...!
  4. Week Later : My feet are still killing me...! i think i need to get some new shoes... maybe i'll go back to some really cheap sandals for May...???
What did i Learn...???
  1. Universal Lesson # 8,574,937,383,287 : As always; The agenda of Your Personal, Gaurdian Angels will be; In nearly every imaginable circumstance, strangely divergent from anything that you might imagine, will be in your own best interests. ( ? )

Appendix A :
List of Necessities for New Habitationing Unit

It's difficult to really know what i'm looking for, since on many occasions in the past, i thought that i knew what i was looking for, but it turned out that i didn't...!!! So many of these items are based on things that i've had experience with, in the negative...! and i would like to avoid them in the future...!!!

  1. Bathroom : The last place that i lived in, had a personal bathroom, and i can't now imagine living without one...! --As opposed to living in a 'Quad' where 4 people generally share 2 bathrooms, only one of which would have a Shower &/or Bath. Typically; A Quad will have a personal Sink in the room.
  2. Laundry Nearby : The last place that i lived, didn't have access to a laundry in the house, even though they had a washer & drier right next to my room...!!! And the nearest commercial laundry was about 2 miles away... and weird supernatural things would always happen whenever i visited it...!!! So that i ended up washing out most of my things in the bathtub, and then drying them over an electric heater.
  3. Nice Street Name : Or interesting... Not a Numbered Street, or anything Political... or named after someone that offends my sensibilities...!
  4. Quiet : As someone with Asperger's, i'm very sensitive to not only loud sounds, but just anykind of noise that requires my brain to 'interpret' it...! Such as voices or music... Traffic & Natural Sounds are OK... Although i did notice when i was sleeping next to this Aqua-Runoff Dealie in Hilo, which was filled with Frogs & Birds that would go crazy at Dusk... i would frequently hear 'voices' just on the edge of all that 'white noise'...???
  5. View : Just about everywhere i ever lived was in a basement, so that i would really like to live somewhere that i can watch a good lightning storm from...!
  6. No Smokers ( et. al. ) : + Alcoholics, Drug Abusers & Yakaholics...!
  7. Rent Around <$250 : When i was trying to get a room in Corvallis, i was ready to pay $325 per month, but i was thinking that i really needed to pay a Premium to live in such a nice town...???
  8. Nice Mattress : The last few Mattress' that i've had were Awful...! So i would like a nice one... The last place i lived, i waited for about 10 years before getting a nice set of sheets and a good Quilt... For this next Place, that will be one of my first Purchases...! A nice bed will help make everything else tolerable...!
  9. No Fundamentalists : Extremists just Invariably turn out to be Hypocrites, and that alone is not a bad thing, until they turn on you...!
  10. No Bugs : A room i lived in several years ago, for One Month, was FILLED with Bugs.
  11. Near College or University : A Community College may be OK in a pinch, given that the rest of the town is exceptionally nice.
  12. Near Bus Route : If the surrounding area is flat... then i may get some Roller Blades instead...???
  13. Health Clinic / Dentist Available : This is becoming important as i get older...!
  14. TV Room / Social Forum : Although i can't stand interacting with The Damp Masses, i do, for some crazy reason... enjoy being 'around' them...???
  15. Crafts Store of Some Kind : i would prefer a Jewelry Crafts shop that offers Classes... That is going to be my New Hobby.. And possibly use those Jewelry skills to make tiny robots...!!!

Monday, April 11, 2005

Cingular Continues to Absorb AT&T

My new CellPhone Eepdress is Now:
Messages to this Eepdress must be in Text Only format,
NOT html...!!!
There is also a variation on this:
This Eepdress is more forgiving as to format type...!!! ( ??? )
But curiously (?) one is processed by the phone directly (?)
and one is accessed through the Internet Connection...!
Just recently i discovered a Preferences Menu
that allowed me to 'Turn On' the 'Alert'
for the Second Eepdress,
so that when i look at the phone,
i would know that i'd received an Eep in that format...!
i can't for a moment believe that your 'average' Damp humanimal
is capable of using their Cell Phone to even a Fraction of it's potential,
given the amount of trouble that i have figuring it out...
( and given that i'm a subgenius! )
( this goes for Computers, in General, too...!!! )
"Computers will never 'catch on'
until they're as easy to use as toasters!"
The Translucent Amoebae

Yes, Virginia, there is a Cthulhu...

Yes, Virginia, there is a Cthulhu
Apr 17 2004, 7:44 pm show options
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns
From: aurie...@charm.net (aurienne) -
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Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2004 19:20:00 PDT
Subject: Yes, Virginia, there is a Cthulhu
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[Ed: originally written by Steven Harris (kay...@aol.com)
and posted to alt.horror.cthulhu in April.
Reprinted with[out] his permission [here] ]
Dear Editor- I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Great Cthulhu. Papa says, "If you see it on Alt.Horror.Cthulhu, it's so," Please tell me the truth, is there a Great Cthulhu who will rise from the watery depth of the Pacific to clear the Earth of all living things? ------Virgina Marsh

Virgina, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the fever of enlightenment given to them by a so-called "enlightened" age. They do not believe in anything unless it carries the weight of scientific authority. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. Reality is that which can be cataloged and measured, to be spooned out in rational doses to the common people. All minds, Virgina, whether they be adult's or children's, are little. In this vast chaos we laughingly call the universe, man is a mere insect, a bug, whose intellect has as much chance of grasping the whole truth, as an ant has of understanding non-Euclidian geometry.
Yes, Virgina, there is a Great Cthulhu. He exists as certainly as the cold unfeelingness of the cosmos exits, and you know that this meaninglessness abounds and gives to your life its highest absurdity. Alas! how comfortable would be the world if there were no Cthulhu! It would be as comforting as if a Santa Claus truly did care and reward children for doing good. There would be childlike faith then, a world of sweet believable poetry and romance to make existence idyllic and appealing. The external light with which childhood fills the world would never end.
Not believe in the Great Cthulhu! You might as well not believe in Hastur or the Necronomicon. You might get your papa's science books and Skeptical Inquirers to see if Cthulhu is mentioned in any historical contexts or if R'lyeh truly does rest under the Pacific Ocean, but even if you did not find either mentioned in your 'holy' books, what would that prove? Nobody sees or knows of Cthulhu, but that is no sign that there is no Great Cthulhu. The most real things in the world are those that we can not know through the senses. Can the headache of your friend be felt by you? No, but his pain affects your life regardless. Do you feel the angst of living a life you never wanted through any of your five senses? No, yet the despair remains. Yet if such realities are known but are never seen, then why should other's ignorance of the unseen lead us to share in their blindness. By what right have they earned your obedience? Nobody can conceive of the inconceivable, including your leaders of thought.
You tear apart the rattle of a baby to see what lies inside to make such noise, but the tiny balls there can not explain or illustrate the fear of a hostile world, that makes that baby clutch and shake that rattle so. Only reaching for insanity can push aside the curtain of our hopes and view with stark madness the emptiness that lies beyond. Is that reality? Is that the truth? To give an answer is to replace the curtain with but one more. And it is this, that makes the Great Cthulhu as true and as real as any veil we place on the chaos beyond. If one must create a meaning, why not the Great Cthulhu. At least the choice is free.
Thank Azathoth! The Great Cthulhu lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virgina, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to await the time when the stars are right again. For with those which eternal lie, with strange eons even death may die.
(From Editorial Page, Arkham Advertiser, 1928)
---Steven Harris

Friday, April 08, 2005

New Shoes...!!!

These are my Old Shoes that i bought from Waldomart,
About 3 1/4 months ago,
and they are already falling apart...!!!
Actually; They were falling apart after only the first month...!!!
...and i tried to fix the left one, which broke apart first, with ShoeGoo,
But it wouldn't harden fast enough... ( 8+ hours...!!! )
So when i started wearing them, all the Goo squished out,
and it was worse than ever...!!!

These are the new ones that i bought Wednesday.
They seem to be OK,
But i'm basing that on how well only the left shoe fits,
Since my right foot is so messed up,
i can't tell if the lumps i'm feeling are in the shoe
or on my foot...???

The Red Shoelace is from my previous collection.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

More UnSorted Considerations...

  1. Dumb People are OK! i wouldn't want anyone to think that i am unnecessarily prejudiced against imbiciles, morons or lop headed kittens. NO! But the difference between a hamster that can't spell Wednesday & is befuddled when trying to recall the names of the Supreme Court Justices-- And a Damp Humanimal that thinks s/he can spell Wednesday & is constantly referring to the Hack-eyed Opinions of Justice Cheryl Day O'Conner... Is that the hamster is fuzzy and cute to watch when they're eating a SunFlower Seed...!
  2. i was looking at clouds the other day and became 'aware' that a lot of the clouds were adopting unusual geometrical patterns, such as stripes, spirals & granulated fields... and it became obvious to me that the tiny water particles that condensed around the dust particles, were choosing to form in some places and not in others...!!! It's like a crayon rubbing...! The Clouds are showing you the Invisible Textures that are in the Air all around us...!!! But what causes these textures... Flying Saucer Vapor Trails...? Transdimensional Animals...?? -- or places where The Universe 'Bunches Up' from all the damp breath of semiconscious entities bumping into one another...???
  3. Speaking of Clouds-- The Weather here has been very annoying for the last 2 Weeks or so... It has been Partly Sunny, which means Partly Cloudy, which means: Constant Drizzly Rain... Even though the Sun has been showing through the clouds rather consistently, there are all these clouds that break off from the Huge Cloud Thunder Head over the 'Mountains'... and Even when 'They' aren't Raining... The Wind from the mountains blows the constant rain from the mountain clouds over the city, and the result is not quite really, real rain, but instead a drizzly rain that usually dries almost immediately, but still-- It's just enough to keep you from lazily laying in the grass, or reading a book, or playing with Electronic Devices...!!! Instead; you're left with your only option of sitting somewhere, and letting this very light mist fall on you, that makes your skin itch in just that kind of way that is like asthmatic beetles coughing on you all day long.
  4. You may recall that the last time i had a Cellular Phone-- i experienced numerous traumatic episodes of craziness &/or frustration...!!! So-- Now that i have a Cingular Go-Phone... ( Last time it was with Sprint! ) ...i was hoping that i would have fewer Adverse Reactions... ( ??? ) ...and this has been true to --some-- degree; But Not Entirely. For one thing, their AutoDeduction Thinger that is supposed to remove my monthly scraping from my Checking Account-- Doesn't seem to work properly...! It has failed to work the last two months! Each time i had to completely reset-up the whole thing...! ( i just noticed today that it may be because they are spelling my name wrong... but i haven't verified this yet...??? ) Another thing is... ( as was the case with Sprint ) ...their 'Sales' People at their nearly ubiquitous 'Service Centers' are completely Useless...!!! As are their 'Technical' People that are Only Available via their 611 Call-In Option. This month, after i straightened out my AutoBilling Glitch (?) -- i noticed that i couldn't send any Eepmails...!!! The phone kept asking me for The 'Email Service Number' and when i went to the Service Center ( Two Different Ones ) Noone knew what this referred to, or how to fix it... The first place put me on the phone with their Technical Representative, and while he claimed to have fixed it, he didn't. Then i went to another Service Center 2 blocks away...!!! And there; One of the Geeky looking Sales People suggested out of the Blue that i try entering in 10 Zeros...!!! Which Amazingly Worked...!!! But i still had to figure out on my own how to make that solution work so that the phone would quit prompting for it during each Eepmail... ( Fortunately-- i am a subgenius...! ). Do you have a nice Cell Phone & Company... Share your Happy Experiences with me...!!!

Monday, April 04, 2005

The BeanHead Paradoxical Enigma

i wrote a 'Game' for my HP Programmable Calculator along time ago...
Originally on my HP28, Then another Version for my 48sx, then another very elegant version for my 42, then another, fatter version for my 48gx.
The premise of The Game is very much like 'MasterMind'--
In that you try to Guess a Hidden Number.
For BeanHead; The Calculator Generates a Secret Number of Some Given Number of Digits, So that No Digit is Repeated...
That is: 246891 would be a Valid Secret Number
While 246841 would Not-- Since 4 is used Twice.
Then you Guess; Say 561092 and The Calculator Returns a '1' -- Meaning that you got One Right.
But it doesn't tell you Which One you got Right.
In most Versions that i wrote, the number of Digits was Fixed at Six.
And what Surprised me-- Was that i would Routinely Guess The Secret Number in as Little as 12 Guess',
Even though there were 151,200 different Secret Numbers Possible...!!!
With Only One Digit...! You would have to Guess 6 Times on Average...!
With Two Digits; 8 Guess', with a Possible Number of Secret Numbers of 90...!!!
Twelve Guess' for Six Numbers seemed Very Small to me...!
i was sure that i must have some Serious Jedi Electrifical ESP or Somesuch...!!!
With this Latest Version of BeanHead, i can Specify the number of Desired Digits from 1 to 8.
( The Screen Can't Handle More than Eight with Two Columns of Displayed Guess'! )
With One Digit; There are 10 Different Secret Numbers, and it would take, On Average 5.9 Guess' to Find It.
With Two Digits; There are 90 Secret Numbers; Optimal Guess': 7.9
Three Digits have 720 Secret Numbers and asks for 8.3 Guess'
Four Digits have 5,040 Secret Numbers and it's supposed that 9.9 Guess' will be made
Five Digits have 30,240 Secret Numbers and will expect 10.6 Guess'
Six Digits have 151,200 Secret Numbers and you might try 12.2 Guess'
Seven Digits have 604,800 Secret Numbers and you'll Need 14.1 Guess'
Eight Digits have 1,814,400 Secret Numbers and Requires 14.5 Guess'

Projected Guess' for
Nine Digits would be 15.7 Guess'
Ten Digits would be 16.9 Guess'
It seems that, with more Digits in The Secret Number, That actually provides the Guesser with More Digits that will provide more Clues to what the remaining Digits are...
Here's an Actual Game: Guess' Needed : 13
147852 : 0 Zero means None Correct!
258963 : 0 Notice that i'm adding one to each Digit... for now.
369074 : 1 One Right... But Which One...???
470185 : 2 Two Right...!!! Without trying...!
360185 : 3 ESP Guess' 0185 but 3 or 6 must be Right...
760289 : 3 ESP says 6, 0 & 8
860381 : 3 6,0 & 8 still look good...
960487 : 2 Oops...! What Now...!!!
790385 : 1 Everything is All Wrong...???
310245 : 2 Which 2 are Correct...???
140855 : 1 At this point, Look over all the Results...!
860142 : 5 HA! Which one is Wrong...???
860149 : 6 ESP or Supreme Logical Thinking...???
Still: 13 guess'...
[ ??? ]
Eep me for a listing of BeanHead... if you have an HP48, or if not, i could provide you with a rough Flowchart that you could use to write your own version...!

Physics Conundrum

The other day ( or so )
i was reading on The Internet a Posting that asked The Question:
"What would happen if i were to visit the Interior of a Hollow Planet,
Such as Our own Hollow Earth?"

The answer; Apparently provided by a Graduate Student of Physics,
Postulated that if you were in the very center of The Hollow Sphere,
you would find yourself to be completely Weightless...
( Which seems very Sensible )
But then she went on to Insist that if you were to float a little bit off to one side,
In fact, Regardless of where you were inside the Hollow Sphere,
You would be completely Weightless, since although you would be nearer one side,
Which would exert a greater Gravitational Attraction upon you,
The Area/Volume below you would be offset by the comparatively Greater Area/Volume Above you...!!!???
She goes on to claim that she'd actually 'Worked Out' the 'Math' of this Dilemma,
and found that this is 'In Fact' The Case...!!!
Those of you that have ever 'Worked Anything Out' by means of Mathematical Computations,
Or have heard Anecdotes of 'Scientists' that have 'Worked Out' this or that...
Should be reasonably 'Skeptical' about any such Claim...!!!
To Properly 'Work Something Out' by Mathematical means,
Requires that you have a Complete & Thorough Understanding of The Problem & Be Able to Use all The Necessary Tools to Solve The Problem in A Responsible Manner.
On The Surface; This Solution to The Hollow Earth Problem Just Seems Wrong to Me.
i can easily view myself near one wall of the Sphere and it just seems to me that the Surface beside me would exert an overwhelming Gravitational Effect upon me, While the Surface on The Far Wall would be inconsequential. The surfaces on the sides would be exerting only a partial 'Upward' Pull, while most of their Gravitational Effort would be CounterActed by the Surface Directly Opposite of them.
So i tried working this out on my own...
i got the Appropriate Equation from my HP48 Equation Library
F = Force in Newton's
G = The Gravitational 'Constant'
m1 * m2 = The Two Masses that are being Attracted to One Another
r = The Distance Between the Two Masses
i wasn't sure if i should measure the distance between the two masses from their Centers or from their leading edges, so i tried it both ways.
First Approach:
i wrote a Simple program to calculate a representative number of points around a circle, and Added their Gravitational x & y Components to a figure off center within the Circle.
If the Figure was indeed Weightless, The final result should have yielded a Sum of (0,0).
No 'Net' Pull in either the + or - Directions for Either the x or y Axis.
The Result i got was a net pull toward the nearer surface.
Second Approach:
Then i tried calculating the Area for a large Angled Area both Above and Below a Figure,
With the Figure standing very near to one surface,
With the Vertex of the Angles cutting through the Figure:
See Diagram:
( Taken from my Journal )
See Appendix A for What was on the Other Side of The Page

i think you can just barely make out The Nested Circles,
and The Figure towards the Bottom, and The Angular Slices.
Basically; i was thinking that these Two Areas,
The Larger one at The Top,
And it's CounterWeighting Smaller Region at The Bottom
Should provide a Calculation with The Relevant Proportions that would Show if They are 'In Fact' Counter Acting One Another.
The Outer Circle has a Radius of : 10
The Inner Circle has a Radius of : 7
The Angle of the Slices is 26 Degrees from The Midline, or 52 Degrees all together.
The Area of the Upper 'Mass' was first crudely Calculated at 40.3639, and later Refined to 46.1932.
The Lower 'Mass' was first Estimated at 4.3639 and later Redetermined to be more like 4.5726
The 'Mass' of the Person was first Arbitrarily given as 2 and later .5.
i was attempting to determine a consistent 'Proportionality' for a Sphere, and Not Terribly Concerned with providing all the extremely accurate data for an actual Sphere, made of actual materials and what their actual Gravitational Attractiveness might be...!!!
The Results again Reflected a Decidedly Clear Surplus of Attractiveness towards the Nearer Side!
Third Approach:
Thinking that maybe i was getting Anomalous Results from looking at Areas when this Problem is Really all About Volumes...
i attempted to Calculate the Volume of the Mass for a Sphere with the given Dimensions of the Circle previously used...
Upper Volume = 1207.6654 Cubic Whatever's
Lower Volume = 41.0040 Cubic Whatever's
Person = .5 Cubic Whatever's
For this:
The Force Pulling from The Top was 5.5766x10^-10
The Force Pulling from The Bottom was 6.0801x10^-10
The Gravitational Attraction for 'The Ground' was greater, but not by much...???
All the Numbers given for this Inquiry were pretty small, and i don't know how to interpret the 'Newton' Results...
So The Net Effect of this is--
i will continue to think that if i was in a Hollow Sphere, i would be able to walk around on the Inner Surface,
But i'm not quite as Certain of this as when i Started...!!!
As a result of looking into this; i created a couple of Programs to Calculate various solutions for this problem...!!!
So now i have a Program that will Calculate The Area of a Slice out of a Circle, as Delineated by a Choid that is Defined by any Two Complex Points or One Complex Point and an Angle...
And another Program that will Calculate the Area of Any Convex Polygon as Defined by a list of its Vertices!

Appendix A
[ What was on The Other Side ]