Friday, May 27, 2005

Shroud of Turin

See (
EarthFiles ( With Linda Moulton Howe )
i'm just nutty for the Shroud of Turin---!!!
What most annoys me about it though,
Is that When you open up an Historical Photography book,
The author will invariably mention Joseph Nicéphore Niépce
( French Chemist )
As the creator of the First Photograph...!!!
While it is OBVIOUS that The Shroud of Turin is a Photograph
& That it predates Niépce's experiments by at least 500 years,
( <1839>or possibly much earlier! )
Another thing: ( Major Virulent Bete Noire # 736,379,267,626 )
Given that The Shroud of Turin is a Photograph,
And that; By many accounts, has been dated to around the 15th Century,
Many of The Damp Masses will invariably jump to the Conclusion
That it must have been Created by Leonardo Da Vinci,
Since-- They Argue, Genius is a Rare Hamburger with No Lettuce,
Thank you very much---!
And since Leonardo is the only Genius they're familiar with,
He is elected as the Creator of the Shroud of Turin.
While in Fact: --
Genius is so common; That you probably trip over 6 of them
Every time you take a trip down to your local McDonalds...!!!
( It may ( However ) be true that Genius Combined with Creativity
Is somewhat rarer, and since Genius alone is worth about
As much as a 64 Chevy without an Engine Block,
Genius' are often overlooked as Worthless, Which they often are! )
The Creator of The Shroud of Turin was undoubtedly
An Attentive & Talkative ( Plus an excellent listener ) Trader
That journeyed throughout The Middle East & Southern Europe,
And picked up The Bits & Pieces of Alchemical Knowledge
Which allowed him, or her,
To fabricate this First Photograph.
Why the burial cloth of The Christ...???
Why not...!
The Creator probably had a major peeve with The Catholic Church
And couldn't resist such a wonderful prank...!
Plus; In order to successfully pull it off as the Genuine Burial Cloth,
S/he couldn't very well go around making more of them--
Could s/he...??? ( !!! )
Thus the Secret of Photography was lost for 500+ years...!!!

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