Things that i Can't be Remembering Correctly...
- Bell's Inequality... i've tried & tried to find a good explanation of this Experiment that is supposed to be the definitive proof that, at least at the Quantum level, information can be transmitted across the universe instantaneously, but that, somehow, you still can't transmit actual information faster than the speed of light. i'm very suspicious of this experiment, if it even is a actual experiment-- There is so little actual discussion of it, that i think it may be a Thought Experiment...! i'm also very suspicious whenever physicists talk about 'Entangled' particles...! It seems to me that if particles such as photons and electrons ( et. al. ) can be entangled with one another, then this entangling process would be happening all the time, and that everything would be entangled with everything else...! Which is exactly what many New Age Hamsters want us to believe! Is everything, actually One Thing...??? If you know of a good source for this, please tell me...! i'm looking for a COMPLETE explanation of the entire experiment, with enough information so that i could reproduce it if i wanted to... And it should also include what results would be forthcoming, and conclusions at the end... Most references to this, Are ONLY Conclusions, and a nod to the experiment and a nod to the data...!!! i am also very suspicious when you have an experiment with entangled particles, ( if such things actually exist...!!! ) Where in the experiment, the particles have to pass through glass lenses or bounce off mirrors... The trouble is; Photons that bounce off mirrors and pass through lens's, aren't the same ones that started out before hand... ( i'm not sure what happens to an electron when it bounces off of something...??? ) It's like these experiments; like The Double Slit Experiment, when they say they've arranged it so that a single stream of photons are passing through the slits... i'm very skeptical of a single stream of photons, or an apparatus that will produce one photon at a time, or that you can, afterwards, control where this single photon is going...! i think: Physics is 99% BUNK! Physicists and Mathematicians like to take credit for Computers, Tall Buildings & Suspension Bridges, But Physicists and Mathematicians don't build Computers & Tall Buildings & Cell Phones... Engineers do, and they might start out with some mathematics or a little physics, but after a while, they'll find themselves fudging the results so that the device they're working on will actually work...!!! and then after it's being commercially produced, they tell the physicists what they did, and they, and the mathematicians, will go back and revise their theories & equations to match the working universe.
- Being Invited to Dinner. Several years ago, i was living in Bremertowne and my Dad was living in Seattle, and his Brother and wife were living in Shoreline, and from time to time, Jack, ( my Dad's baby Brother ) would invite him to dinner, and He, ( my Dad ) would invite me ( by Proxy ). This went on for several years and then one day, ( this had been building for some time ) i put my foot down, ( so to speak ) and suggested that if Jack really wanted to invite me to his house for dinner, ( which i'm sure he didn't! ) Why doesn't he just do it himself... He could call or send me a note in the mail, or send me an email... And this is the Quirky part... My Dad went TOTALLY FAWKING CRAZY...!!! He thought that i was being the most UnReasonable No Good-Nik that had ever lived... Blah Blah Blah... This went on for several minutes, and i was trying to be reasonable, and he Would Not Be Brought Down to Sensibility...!!! So after he hung up, i called Phil, ( My Dad's older Brother, who lives near Seattle Somewhere... i forget where... ) and i asked him to Intervene, and straighten this out...! and HE WENT TOTALLY FAWKING NUTS...!!! Even BEFORE i could start to explain what i was calling about, he had SO MUCH Baggage to unload on me that he didn't even wait for me to tell him why i'd called... So that went on for several minutes, and i was so CONFUSED by both of their reactions that i calmly Thanked him for his consideration and hung up. i still don't understand what happened. So then; days and weeks later, My Dad WOULD NOT COOL OFF...!!! and he wouldn't speak to me all for all the coming years until he died about 5 years after that. Curiously; i talked to Jack & Joan ( his wife ) some time after this started and then later at My Dad's Wake, and they don't seem TERRIBLY angry with me...??? There was obviously something ELSE going on here, but i have no idea what it was. ( It should be noted that there may have been the factor of ON-GOING resentment from several different things, like the fact that no one in my family is willing to recognize that i have Schizoid Personality Disorder/Asperger's and think i'm 'Just' Lazy... Or that i changed my Name Legally, Or that because i have Asperger's, i tend to be 'difficult...???' ) oh well.
- Being Put Back. In the 5th grade, i was held back a year. What is kind of curious, is that to this day, i am not sure if i am Smart or Dumb. i've been tested and told i have an IQ of 135, and i aced the Navy Eligibility test ( the second time i took it... The first time i took it, was right after high school, and i'd severely neglected my Algebra and Math skills, partly because i hadn't at that time been exposed to how FUN math can be...! It was always presented in a very BORING manner, and it wasn't until i'd been a street person for about 3 years that i discovered how exciting it can be... So then after that, i tried to REENLIST in the Navy, and that's when i took that test the second time, the first time, i got a very high score, but the second time, i think i got 100%...! But they won't take me anyways... Even with my University Transcripts, which; by the way, showed that i had a 3.8 GPA ) So anyways... Back in the 5th grade, i remember that that was the year that i wanted to get a HAMSTER, and to get a Hamster, i had to get at least 3 B's on my report card, and i DID get the Hamster, so i must have done Pretty Well that year... and i was still Held Back... i also recall that at about that time, i went downtown and was Evaluated by a School Psychologist ( or some such ) and i seemed to have fun reproducing puzzles and answering a lot of Damn Fool Questions...!!! and Drawing a picture of me and my Family, and i what i MOST CLEARLY remember was that Afterwards, when we were leaving, My mom said; after i asked her what the results were... ( or maybe i didn't ask... ) She said; "You're just Lazy." So that's what i believed. i was just lazy. i was retarded. There was no sense is trying to do better, i was destined to fail. -- If i got 3 B's that year, and they still held me back, they ( my Mother and The School Officials ) must have had some INKLING that something was wrong with me, but all they could come up with, Was that i was Lazy. ( In their Defense; Asperger's didn't become well known until i'd graduated from High School...! ) But i think i might have done better-- if i'd just been encouraged to do better, rather than labeled as a failure. Some years later, when i was still suffering from SEVERE Confusion over whether i was Smart or Dumb... in The 9th Grade; i begged the School Administrators to give me an IQ test, and they refused. Am i Smart or Dumb. i still don't know.
- DVR PostCards. When i was living in Bremertowne, i was starting to feel more and more guilty that i wasn't trying in the least to find a job-- Not that anyone was pressuring me in the least to find a job, but still...??? So i went over to DVR, Department of Vocational Rehabilitation... This was the place that was supposed to help Crazy and Retarded people find Work... And when i first went there, they told me to 'Look in the Paper.' But then, i somehow got involved with a Kathy --?-- and she was trying to start somekind of Arts Program for Elderly People and Retards... and She really didn't have ANY FREAKING IDEA WHAT SHE WAS DOING...!!! So i had contact with her for a few weeks or months...???...And during this time, i had to become somehow Validated...??? ( i have no idea what was going on... At one point i had to get a 'physical' and all during the 'physical' no actual medical tests of any kind where taken...??? !!! ) So during this time, Just to 'Keep in Touch' with my 'Worker' ( Marge Garland ) i would send her postcards letting her know that i was still interested. And these postcards were Hand Made ARTifacts...! OK--! ( ??? ) ( They were 'Out There' ) And then after about 5 months of 'behind the scenes WhatEver'... i was called into the Office and told by Another Worker... Not MY Worker, The Head Worker Lady -- ( i think ? ) that was being TERMINATED...!!! And why...??? Because of the PostCards...!!! One of them had a letter folded up and stuck onto the side, and THEY THOUGHT IT WAS A BOMB...!!! Honestly...??? And they called the Police, and they Called the Bomb Squad and they came out and Diffused my Letter...!!! -- What was that About...! ( ??? ) So i was thinking, 'i am too crazy for the place that is supposed to help crazy people...!' -- This is kind of like the time that i was going to put a SEX ADVERTISEMENT in a local Sex Magazine for SWINGERS...!!! And they refused to carry my Ad because it was TOO DAMN KINKY...!!! ( just try to imagine an ad for a swingers magazine that would be too damn kinky...??? -- It was because i was expressing an interest in getting a job as a CareTaker/NursesAid ( Which i'd done for about a year previously ) for a Disabled Lady that just happened to be Sexually Active...??? ) oh well.)
- Corvallis Amnesia. A few weeks ago, i went back and visited Corvallis, Oregon, and it had Changed ALOT, but still, there was some things that i remembered a little bit... But most of the places that i visited while i was a street person, i have reasonably good recollections about the towns and where i slept and so on... But with Corvallis... i can not remember anything...!!! i remember spending alot of time there, and walking along an old highway and drinking coffees and the McDonald's... Where did i get the money for the McDonald's Breakfasts...??? i don't remember... and so when i was walking all over Corvallis, none of it came back...??? Then also; In a related manner, when i came back to Hawai'i, i found that some of the buildings and geographical landmarks had been moved around... It was not like i remembered them at all... How could they have moved things around like this...??? !!! i was actually considering that maybe i had never been here before, maybe i had never been to Corvallis before... maybe all those memories from 1979 to 1987 were IMPLANTED...!!! And if so-- Where was i during those years...???
- Nakedism. One of the craziest things i don't understand about 'Western Civilization' ( And nearly every other culture ) is the Taboo surrounding Nudism. It seems just so absolutely KOOKY that there would be LAWS prohibiting you from Being a Human Being...??? i think that whatever the reasoning is, it goes way beyond Health Reasons... Since we let Dogs and Cats run around Naked, and they go everywhere we go, and they are presumably LESS hygienic than most people...??? So what is it this all about...???
- Trip to Europe. In the 9th grade, i had an English teacher, that a year later (?) sent me a letter inviting me to join her on a trip to Europe with The American Institute for Foreign Studies... The thing is; i was a TERRIBLE STUDENT in the 9th grade. That was undoubtedly my WORST ACADEMIC YEAR EVER...!!! One quirky thing about being a disinterested & highly apathetic asperger's genius, is that i could pass most of my classes without paying attention in class or EVER doing any homework... in fact that year, i didn't even TRY to do well on tests and such. i DIDN'T DO ANYTHING IN CHEMISTRY all year, i didn't LEARN ANYTHING...!!! COMPLETELY NOTHING...!!! And Algebra... i hated the teacher, and he hated me. i didn't learn anything in that class either...!!! and English, and History... i NEVER PAID THE LEAST BIT ATTENTION TO ANYTHING...!!! And somehow, i passed all those courses, and went on to High School. Did anyone ever Chastise me for doing so poorly that year. NO! They did not...!!! And then a year later, Mrs- ( i can't even remember her name! ( Clark--??? ) Invited me to Europe, and so i asked my Dad for $2000 and i went. It was kind of fun. We went to Denmark when Pornography was Maniacally Legal... Everything in the whole country was SEX, SEX, SEX...!!! Since then, they've pulled back a little bit.