Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Old Scraps

i have a TextEdit Document that i compile Rants on;
And very often, they aren't posted,
But i don't redirect them to another Document for 'UnUsed Rants' Either !
These are some Rants that are in A Shadow Region of : UnRants ( ???

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Occupations that seem to attract C- Students with Schemes of Getting Rich Quick, And Consequently; Get into Endless Mischief Causing Substantial Grief for Everyone that they Come into Contact with.

Real Estate
Stock Market Trader
Used Car Dealer
Any Sales Position
Construction
Gypsy Swindler ( Traveler ) ( Opposed to Honest Romanies )
Professional Sports Player
Law Enforcement
Cartoonist
Lawyer
Nurse
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Gawd! i hate computers.

The last few days i’ve been trying to work up some video clips of my aunt telling some family stories with iMovie and it is just driving me crazy!
i used to think that iPhoto was The Worst Application that Apple Created, But their movie making Applications are much Worse!

The first problem is; There is not One Movie Application.
In order to made a fully completed video, you really need to use Four Applications.
iMovie HD
iMovie
Garageband
iDVD

iMovie HD is a simplistic little diddy that allows you to add some very quirky special effects, adjust sound ( ? ), and so on, and in theory, i suppose, you could create somekind of finished product with just iMovie HD, but not really.

You really need to Export The Video from iMovie HD and then splice all The Pieces that you tuned up with iMovie HD into iMovie Proper.
This has fewer quirky features, but it more easily allows you to put things together, add transitions, move The sound track under inserted images, add title frames and so on.

But then you need to Export The Video from that to add sound effects.
You can do this a little with iMovie HD or iMovie, but if you really want to add some sound effects right where you want them, and then add some music and really adjust all These elements together, including volume control, you need to use Garageband.

Then After The Video is really done,
You need to Export it from Garageband ( which crashes every 5 minutes if your menu clock has The Colon Separator blinking ) and then import it to iDVD.
With iDVD you can make it into a Presentation Video with 80% of The Pomp that you get from any commercial DVD.

But getting there is a freaking nightmare.
Never mind all The usual planing and thought that would have to go into any ordinary presentation video, The problem(s is that these applications are fighting you every step of The way.

One of The most annoying and mind numbingly frustrating things that Apple Applications have done for The past 30 years is that after you set something to (x, and then look away for a moment, The Application will change The setting to (y.
???

i have tried to guess why they do this, and it is still a deep mystery.

Most people believe that Apples crash much less often than Wintel Computers,
And this may be so, but Apple Application still crash pretty often.

iMovie is also very odd in that there is No ‘Save’ or ‘Save as…’ in The File Menu.
All, ALL Applications have a Save & Save as… in Their File Menus.
Except for iMovie.
When you open an iMovie, It looks through The Old iMovie Projects file, selects one at random and brings that up.
To start a new project, you have to Tell it to Start a New Project, and after Naming and Defining The Parameters of The New Project, The Old Project is still there.
You then after to Delete The Old Project, Section by Section.
Then you Start your New Project.
But since you can’t Save it, You can’t shut it down for a day or two and get back to it.
If you turn it off, It may or may not be Saved in some unspecified form, and you may or may not be able to reopen it at some future time; If you can find it.

And if it crashes, All traces of it will completely disappear.

iMovie HD will not allow you Import a .mov
.mov’s have been around for at least 40 years and been a common format for Apple, and are still in use today. iMovie exports films as .mov’s, But iMovie HD will not import them.

???

There is also another Video Application called QuickTime.
There is The Ordinary QuickTime and QuickTime Pro.
There used to be A QuickTime Pro.
Now there is just QuickTime.
The Ordinary QuickTime that is now Available has all The functionality of The Old Ordinary QuickTime, which is very barebones.
QuickTime Pro used to allow you to play around with your Videoa and to Save your Video in different Formats,
Now; They have this New Approach in which All The Old formats are being replaced with M4v’s in different sizes.
iMovie HD exports as .dv’s ( ??? )
i don’t know about YouTube, But Flickr will not take .dv’s.
To make a iMovie HD acceptable for Flickr, you’d have to import into iMovie and then export it as an M4v.
i really hate it that i can’t choose The Format Type.

???

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Proposed Flickr Group / Abby Normals
Abby Normals are The Well Dressed Hamsters & Featherless Parakeets that are Not Normal.

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What if Careless Evolutionary Forces, Freshly Starched Angels or Bulbous, Teal Aliens Created This World & Inhabited it Humanimals that would Ideally have an IQ of 100; Such that People with this degree of Intelligence would not be able to get into any gratuitous & unnecessary mischief.

Sure; They could get into Ordinary Mischief, But not ExtraOrdinary Mischief.

They would never have invented something so Elegant as a Cross Bow, or even learned to attach a sharpened Stone to a Stick. As simple & primitive as The Most Rudimentary Tools may seem to us now, They were Originally created by Genius’ of their Era.

A World filled with Nothing but IQ 100 People would be blissfully roaming sun baked Savannas, Fleeing Large Cats, Filling their Bellies with Plump Termites & Over-Ripened Dwarf Apples.
Maybe we would have developed a Bonobo Social Model and would spend most of Each Indolent Afternoon Masturbating Ourselves & One Another.

But This was not to be.
Some Humanimals were Abby Normals.
Some were A Little Slower, and Were protected and Cared for So that when The Big Cats Attacked, they would be The ones that would fall behind & be eaten.

While Others were Too Smart for Their Own Britches and Invented all that Ails us Today. They may eventually be responsible for Our Extinction, or The Destruction of This Entire World, Or just maybe; They will lift us off this World, and Fill The Milky Way Galaxy &/or The Universe with The Infection that is Us.

This group is for The Abby Normals,
To show The Damp Masses how The Abby Normals Think.

What is An Abby Normal?
Originally; i was thinking that this Group should be for The Traffic Cones & Laminated Snowflakes that Exhibited Well Documented Personality Disorders; Such as A Schizoid Personality or Any Flavor Along The Autism Spectral Continuum.
But The True Schizophrenics are Such a Interesting Species of Tube Worms that they mustn’t be left out, Nor The Clinically Worrisome Maniac Melancholics.

Plus all The Others.

The Exclusionary Principle :
( Any Three of These Applicable Features,
Would Disqualified You from Legally Contributing To This Group )

Anyone That is Not :
Luke Warm, 18% Grey, Plain Vanilla, Reasonably Attractive or Well Groomed, Married with Children, Middle Management, Sensible Drinker, Responsible Tax Payer, Community Volunteer, Filial Progeny, Cautious Driver, Prudent Social Libertarian, Frugal Shopper, Regular Duster, Circumspect Gardener, Earnest Laborer Or Sympathetic & Pensive Neighborhood Caretaker—
And Such. ( et. al. )

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