Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Chase Bank Fiasco

Wednesday, September 18, 2013 8:44:24 AM

Who are you?

This is one of The Most Overused Clichés in Cinema & everytime i hear it, i just grind my teeth & curl up my toes with such ferocity that The soles of my feet bleed.

But in a more generic sense; i was thinking about how in The olden days, & by olden days, i mean, 40 years ago & prior to that; People would simply ‘Trust’ one another to be who they said their were.

The Signature; The Prima Facie Proof that you, or whatever documents you ‘signed’ were you or your Surrogate for all legal & ethical purposes; Was merely a perfunctory yellow ribbon of authority.

i can’t believe that anyone of any era would have ‘really’ taken a signature as proof of anything.

Sure; The Signature was used innumerable times in courts of law, But only because The Accuser was certain of deception & chicanery, but The Societal Rules of Etiquette prevented them from using their own authority of Trustworthiness to trump The Word of another without some sort of ‘Proof’.

It was all very crazy then.

But The Core idea; That everyone ‘Trusted’ Everyone else, Strangers & Friends alike, was quite remarkable.

Certainly; The Streets were filled with Liars & Treachery, But without a Real Tool to Truly Know what was True or Not,

Trust was all they had.


The Opposite is True.

i have just recently been trying to Open a ‘QuickPay’ Account at my Chase Bank, without Success.

i have been reasonably happy with Chase, but every once in awhile, Whenever i want to do something slightly complicated, it will let me down.

This QuickPay Thinger is intended to allow me to pay a bill to someone painlessly.

It is like Paypal, but extends a little beyound The Interweb.

The Problem is that when i was trying to set it up, & after i had logged on to my Chase Interweb Account; it kept trying to ReVerify that i was still me.

It already performs various tricks if it suspects for a moment that i’m a Nigerian 4th Grader in The Russian Province of Georgia.

One trick is to simply send me a Verification Code through my Cell Phone.

But in The Last 2 Days, whenever i try to Get this QuickPay Account to ‘Open’; It insists that i ReVerify my ReVerifications, & it won’t use The First Trick.

This time, It insisted that i use my Email Account.

This should Not present a Problem, but for various reasons, it was a problem.

Such as :

i was trying to get The Bank Helper Lady to help me set this up, so i wasn’t using my ‘Regular’ Computer,

The Bank does not have Wifi, so i couldn’t use either of my Digital Assistants ( Kindle or iPod ) to access my email.

i do have an Email Access Tool on my ( tracfone ) Phone, but i turned that off, so that it wouldn’t drink up all my minutes ( or Units or Whatever ) by constantly loading new junk mail onto my phone.

So i couldn’t get The Access code that The Chase Bank Computer was sending me.

Crazily; i then thought; Well Maybe i could use The Wifi from Safeway, that was right next door. So i got online with them, & this took a few more minutes, & we tried the code that The computer sent me, to type into my own Account Page on The Computer at The Bank Branch.

It would Not Work.

The Computer Said that it could not, or would not, Verify The Access Code that it just sent me, & that i should try again later.

Obviously; The Computer was working, The Web was working, The Bank Computer System was working, but it would not perform this one task.

Why not ?

Was it being too cautious ?

The Bank Lady thought that their computer was ‘Down’, but everything else was still working.

So i left; Did some shopping at Safeway, went home, put everything away, went to The Library, tried to get this QuickPay thinger to work again on my Chase App on my Kindle Fire, & The Chase App would only access to Mobile Chase, Not The www.Chase.

Very Curiously; The Browsers on my Kindle, which ordinarily connect to The ‘Usual’ Internet, would only allow me to access The Mobile Chase Account, not The account !

The Chase App is supposed to be An Quick & Easy Appliance for most every Task, but The Browsers on The Kindle should have stepped over that. They go to every other real internet site, except this one.

( ??? )

So it wouldn’t allow me verify The QuickPay dealie from that.

i had to be on a Account Page.

So i logged onto a Library Computer, Assured that it was really me by receiving an access code through my cell phone, since i was using a ‘Strange’ computer, ( which is good ) & then i found The Quickpay page that i trying to find.

I managed to then get The Chase Computer to send me a New Access Code for The Quickpay verification Routine, but again;

We can not Verify this Account at this time, please try again later.


What is ‘Later’ ?

i got The Chase Computer to send me another Access code & i ran through this loop about 3 more times, but after that;

The Screen Changed.


i had apparently tried too many times, & now it had locked me out.

It would no longer send me any more access codes, & it wouldn’t allow me to input any of my old codes.

So that was last tried yesterday.

This seems to me that setting up something like this should be The easiest thing ( along a continuum of very easy things ) in The world.

But no.

It’s not.

What i was thinking is;

The computer thinks that i’m a terrorist.

Somewhere, Somehow along this process, it came to believe that i was a terrorist, & like A No Fly List, it will never change its mind.

Everyone nowadays, is a Terrorist.

You can’t fly in an Airplane without proving that you’re not a terrorist by walking through a pit of fire.

You can’t use a Post Office Mailing Box unless you first prove that you’re not a Terrorist by floating in a river after they have filled your pockets with stones.

You can’t Ride in A Bus over State Lines unless you demonstrate that you’re not a terrorist by allowing them to brand you with their Esoteric Sign of The Triple Star Ranch, & if you cry out, You are a Terrorist.

Several Year ago; it was widely rumored that The NSA ( National Security Agency ) had The Ability to listen in on Every Phone Call made in USA ( or those going abroad ) & Their Computers would listen for ‘Code’ Words that would mean things like ‘Bomb’ or ‘Murder’ or Whatever.

This was nonsense of course.

More Recently; The FBI ( Federal Bureau of Investigation ) had Computers that could Identify Anyone in a Crowd & Alert The Police or Stadium Security that a Ner’er-do-well was somewhere in a FootBall Arena.

i doubted this; Because it seemed to me that if this technology was ‘really’ available, it would be commonly used for a variety of other purposes. But it wasn’t.

The Same thing has happened innumerable other times.

Someone will claim to have a remarkable new technology,

But no forthcoming applications of it would ever appear.

But now there have been some recent Wikileaks Releases by Traitors of Freedom & The Constitution that are saying this again. & it all looks very authentic doesn’t it. International Intrigue & Nightly Updates that tell us again & again things that we’re not supposed to know about, That The Government really can & is listening to every phone call, analyzing every email, newsgroup posting & gossipy twitter announcement.

Is it really real this time ?

Can they really do that ?

Siri doesn’t work.

But who knows.

Maybe they’re listening to ‘some’ of our phone calls.

( ? )

Speaking ( Ha! ) of Siri - It has always seemed to me, & this also holds true for The much older speech recognition capabilities of The Macintosh OSX They would have a much Greater Possibility of Actually Working ( ! ) If The Computer would just take a few moments when you first started it up, To learn YOUR Voice.

Please Read these Sentences to me :

How Now Brown Cow “

Pick a Peck of Sea Shells by The Old Purple Fox “

And so on.

But they don’t.

Siri & all it’s pervious Incarnations have always assumed that they could Understand AnyOne right out of The Box.

And they’ve never worked.

If Speech Recognition were really possible,

We’d be living in an entirely different world.

It’s as if; Maybe it does work, but somewhere else.

=They= have a vested interest in making sure that we believe that it doesn’t work.


All i want to do is pay my rent electronically.

Why is that a threat to The new world order ?


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