Friday, October 04, 2013

Torchwood / Miracle Day

Wednesday, October 2, 2013 10:57:14 PM

Torchwood / Miracle Day

If you’re not Familiar with The BBC Sciffy Series; Torchwood

It’s kind of a Peculiar ‘Low Brow’ Science Fiction Series, On Par with that Series That Kevin Sorbo was in after he’d finished his Fabulous work in Hercules.

Torchwood is substantially dumber than StarGate SG1 or even 1999, if you remember that one.

It’s a spinoff from Doctor Who; And can you think of any Spinoff that wasn’t amazingly stupid ( ? )

Anyways; i don’t often find a Program or Film so annoying that i feel compelled to spend a few moments writing a blog on it, but this is one such case.

Ordinarily; i would just put it behind me & move on ( as they say ).

i’m not sure if ‘Miracle Day’ was just The Theme of a Season of Programs, or If it was a Special Series, but it consisted of about 9 or 10 Episodes, The Usual Number for British TV Series’.

The Theme of ( Major Spoilers Ahead !!! ) Miracle Day was that Everyone just stopped Dying. This theme is pretty old, but Torchwood decided to really flesh it out. They thoroughly considered all The Consequences of this Event & Drew it all Out.

i should also mention that The People ( Not Animals ) that were surviving were doing so by a clearly Magickal Process, Since there were survivors from being blow to bits or being decapitated.

Curiously; This aspect ( as it was Torchwood, which exists in an Alternative Reality where these sorts of things happen fairly routinely ) was not considered.

The Writing on Torchwood is Not Particularly Witty or Intellectual, So to criticize this Series along those lines would be unnecessarily cruel, But i do have a limit for redundancy which started to wear me down after The 3rd Episode.

The Other Thing which really broke me was a Plot Point that lead into Episode 4 ( or so ) which was supposed to have ‘Explained’ what role The Government ( US Government - Which is marginally odd, since this is a British Series, this Themed Series took place nearly exclusively in The United States ( ? ) ) turned out to be very feeble, And Entirely Reasonable to my way of thinking.

Another Aspect that took root before this was A Character played by Bill Pullman, that had murdered a 12 year old girl & survived an execution by lethal Injection. The Entire Plot keeps turning back to this Character which is made out to be somekind of Horrific Monster, but in this day & age; Who except The Girls Mother is going to be so disturbed over The Murder of Single 12 year old girl. ( ? )

He didn’t even eat her brains, Sexually mutilate her corpse, Film The Murder for Youtube or Make socks from her intestines.

( As i would have done, Check, check, check & check )

So anyways.

One of The Considerations that The World had to deal with, was all these People that were horrifically ‘Dead’, but Not Dead. One of The Aspects of this Flavor of being Undead was that they never lost consciousness, so that these ‘Really Dead’ Not Dead people would be entirely conscious of their Position. So that The US Government decided to just dope them up & Incinerate them.

The Torchwood Group thought that this was Awful, Just Awful & kept turning back, again & again & again to how Really Just Awful The US Government was for putting these lost souls out of their misery.

If they’d had an Alternative Solution; What was it ?

They spent a considerably amount of Screen Time making it absolutely clear that The Hospitals & all other resources were being gobbled up by these Incredibly UnDead People.

What was The Definitive Solution ?

i quit watching in The middle of The Next Episode after that was revealed, when i’d reached my limit for superfluously inane dialogue.

It seems to me that if you’re writing dialogue & you’re stumped for a clever witticism during a phone call, you might write in something like; ‘I don’t know, whatever’ & then you’d come back to it later & fix it But when that makes it to The Sound Stage & The Character reads that in front of The Camera, there is a serious breakdown of The Process.

But i was curious as to what ’The Explanation’ for this all was. So i looked it up on The Internet & Thankfully someone had The Tenacity to watch Miracle Day all The way to The End & Revealed Why The Dead Stopped Dying.

According to this Review; There is a Giant Slug in The Earth, Where The Molten Iron Core should be, That keeps The World ‘In Balance’ & The Giant Slug caught a Cold or somesuch, Throwing everything out of Kilter.

The Torchwood Group figured this out & took a kleenex down to The Slug & nursed it back to health, which allowed everyone to start dying again.

Thank gawd.


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