Monday, December 30, 2013

Predictions for 2014


Saturday, December 28, 2013 1:56:49 PM

Predictions for 2014


More & More Babies will be born with 6 or 7 Fingers on each hand.
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A Well Established Media Whore will be Involved in a Scandal concerning Incest & An Unfamiliar Religion or Cult
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3D Printers will establish a New Level of Resolution that allow them print custom CPUs &/or Fully Functional Electronic Devices.
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The First Generation of PreCogitators will become available as a Hand Held Device that will largely supersede ‘Tablets’. These PreCogitators will becomes most people’s best friends & Civilization will begin to slide away from under us.
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A Large Commercial Airliner will plow through a Densely Populated City as The Result of Pilot Error.
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A Method of Generating Gravity Waves will be Disclosed; Then Debunked, then Resurrected with Uncertainty.
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A New ‘Steady State’ Movement of Young Professional Astronomers will Refute The Big Bang Conjecture.
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A New Kind of ‘Math’ will be revealed & will sweep through many Public Schools; Then removed along with many of its advocates.
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There will be New Irrefutable Evidence that The U.S. Government is actually a Autocratic Dictatorship & has been since 1951. All The Presidents, Congressmen, Senators & The Supreme Court have been Impotent puppets.
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Nudism will sweep through Europe.
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Africa will produce three new potentially pandemic diseases.
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Polygamy & Polyandry will be legalized in five states.
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Japan will start a New Movement to Remove all traces of Westernization from their Islands.
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A Perpetual Motion Machine that produces a startling amount of excess energy will be demonstrated in several venues, then mysteriously disappear without explanation.
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Hillbilly Chic will become amazingly popular, accompanied by their own Music, which will have substantially evolved from Traditional Folk Banjo Music.
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Cuba will discover a New Source of Fabulous Wealth & Buy Florida, Georgia & Louisiana, saving The US from Economic Collapse.
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Women ( lesbian couples ) will discover a way to make babies without men.
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Men ( Gay Couples ) will discover a ( Theoretical ) way to make babies without women, but The Method will be stymied by The required Necessity of a yet UnInvented Artificial Womb & The Illegality of Using Chicken Eggs to Host Their Human DNA.
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Flying Saucers will remain very mysterious.
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A Bigfoot will be Captured & discovered to have a very high Non-Linguistic Intelligence.
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Post Vegetarianism will begin with The Creation of A Very Nutritious CandyBar made entirely from Non-Organic Raw Materials.
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An UnSpecified Post Terrorist Group ( One Worlders ) will Sink an American AirCraft Carrier.
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Spain will Very Unexpectedly Land Men & Women on The Moon & remain there for several months.
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It will become clear that Australia will be the Next Principle World SuperPower within 10 years.
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The SuperCyclotron will almost destroy The World by creating a Black Hole that will ( mercifully ) pass through The entire Earth before flying off into space.
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Pluto will be reinstated as a planet.
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An Entirely New Kind of Artificial ‘Life’ will be Created Using DNA Bases Unlike Our ATCG’s.
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Scientists in South America will produce a Flying Penguin.
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A New Street Drug will make anyone ( permanently ? ) fall in love with you. The Drug works by ‘Impressing’ The Subject of their love on The First Person they see after taking The Drug. The Window of Impressing is opened for between 5 & 40 minutes of ingesting The Drug.
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Ugly People will Riot in The Streets demanding Social Equality.
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A Dog will be taught to Speak.
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A Ground Hog will be found that can paint recognizable images.
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A New Method of ‘Climbing’ Inclines will replace Stairs.
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A Disease which makes people smarter will threaten world civilization.
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Robots will become Ubiquitous.
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Electrical Cords & Overheard Power Lines will begin disappearing.
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Elevators ( Taxivators ) that move sideways will begin appearing.
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There will be multiple instances of live births of two headed babies.
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India will feature more anomalous phenomena.
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A Pod Blue Whales will beach Themselves somewhere ( ?
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The Winter of 2014 will be amazingly cold throughout North America & Europe.
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A Famous person will Spontaneously Combust.
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An Object that defies identification will fall to Earth in South America. It will be Reported in The First World Nations, but only as a Joke Story.
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It will be widely revealed that DNA is UnAccountable for Fetal Development. Intron Sequences will be used to explain The missing processes, but these will be shown to be specious, as will Morphic Fields & Maternal factors. A New theory of Parasitic Bacterium & Virus that Self Organize our Available DNA into Complex Structures will become The New Paradigm for Fetal Fabrication.
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Internet Crimes will become The New ( de-facto ) War on Terrorism, allowing The elimination of Airport Screening Stations & Domestic Spying.

This will also herald The Introduction of A New & Improved Internet that will be more like an On-Line Encyclopedia.
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Universal ID Numbers will Replace & Supersede Social Security Numbers, Driver’s License Numbers, Birth Certificates, Passports & Be Used as an All Purpose Phone Number & Email Address. Since The System will then Track you everywhere you go, it will also replace your home address & be used to deliver mail to you wherever you are. These Numbers will be Biogenetically Bound to Each Individual, making Identity Theft ( Nearly ) Impossible.

Adults that wish to Opt-Out of this system can do so; But they become essentially non-Citizens & forfeit their ability to use money, The Internet or own any electronic devices.
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Prisons will begin to be replaced with Ner’er-do-well towns, where Career Criminals, Sociopaths & Scoff-Laws will be sent to live Permanently. These will be quite ordinary towns in most respects, but The level of supervision & isolation from The ‘Real’ world will make them subtly different.
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License Plates on Cars will disappear as each car will soon possess a unique electronic identity that will reveal it’s location & activity at all times.
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Regional Security will become so pervasive that many people will stop locking their doors again.
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Some Public Schools & Parents will stop teaching children to read.
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A New Method of Dry-Organic Data Manipulation will begin replacing Electronics.
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A New Theory of Matter will make The Table of Elements Obsolete.
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The Reason why The Speed of Light is The Speed of Light will Revolutionize & Revitalize Physics, Throwing Quantum Mechanics & Special Relativity out The Window.
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The Reason why we didn’t establish Moon Colonies will be revealed, Horrifying nearly everyone.
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Young People will start a new fad of surgically adding a third eye to The foreheads.
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An International League of Gentleman Warriors will begin Policing The World, eliminating regional & national Armies & Navies.
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ElectroMagnetic Pollution will finally be found responsible for The Growing Numbers of Autistic Children.
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The Principle cause of Adult Mortality will be Brain Tumors.
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Faery Folk, Human Like Skeletons of Ancient Giants & Remote Viewing will be recognized as real.
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Homelessness will become a viable intercity lifestyle.
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Doors will begin disappearing as they will be replaced with Venetian Walls.
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TransSexuals will be The New Gay.
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A Stilt-Like Pogo-Stick Legs Device will replace Bicycles.
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Air Travel will Plummet as Proximal Tourism & Proximal Business Communications will make Meeting People & Seeing Things Obsolete.
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Virtual Fantasy Vacations will replace Travel Vacations.
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The Bed-Ridden Elderly will become Robot Sentries that will tirelessly patrol our cities.
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Amorphous Spots of Light on The Wall will replace dogs & cats as pets.
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Ant Poison will be The New LSD.
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National & International News Organizations will Disappear with The Advent of Tiered Hierarchal Gossip Apps, Resulting in many long standing Conspiracies finally being exposed.
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Ink & Graphite Industries will collapse, marking a shift in economic foundations to transparent materials for all industrial & manufacturing applications.
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The New Catch Phrase will become; “Don’t force me to use magic on you!”
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Bugs will be observed to becoming bigger.
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States that still Execute Prisoners will switch from Lethal Injection to Publicly held Raves with Burnings at The Stake.
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The Republican & Democratic Parties will be replaced by The Juniper Raspberry Coalition & The Six-Legged Muskrat Amalgamation of JarHeads.
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Helium Balloons will be outlawed, Siting a More Urgent Need for Helium, but this Reason will not be disclosed.
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The American Flag will be changed to A Design that has Left-Right Symmetry so that it can’t be ‘Reversed’.
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End ( ? )

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