Sunday, September 21, 2014 3:33:08 AM
A Kind of ESP
My Apple Dictionary occasionally provides An Inset Box that Compares a Given Word with Its Opposite or Tangential Distinction, Along with all ( or most ) of their Intermediate forms; Such as here; where Attractive forms a Continuum with Repellant.
tickle someone's fancy
catch someone's attention
catch someone off guard
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give someone the creeps
make someone's skin crawl
make someone's gorge rise
make someone feel sick
turn one's stomach
i was looking up Attractive or Attractant to find A Word & It’s Opposite to Describe or Designate The Two Polar Forms of A Kind of ESP that i believe most clearly Describes my Particular Variety of A Personality Disorder.
i think i would like to use :
‘Spell Bound’ or ‘Bewitched’ to Describe The Attractant Force
& ‘Repellant’ to Describe The Odious Repulsive Influence.
They simply work like this;
Most easily understand with examples perhaps.
You undoubtedly know people from school or work whom you find Attractant ( Not Attractive, although they may be ) & likewise, others that are Repellant.
The Curious Bit here is that of these Two Sets of Opposites, All Other Attributes that they may share, are 100% Equivalent.
That is ;
Amoung both Attractant & Repellant Groups; There are those that are Physically Attractive, Butt Ugly, Kind & Sweet or Disagreeable & Obnoxious.
What is it about The Attractants that Bewitch you into liking them?
What is it about The Repellants that you find so Odious?
That is where The ESP comes in.
It is Not Merely that The Bewitching Specimens smell nice or have enchanting harmonious voices,
Or that The Noisome Swatches have appalling fashion sense—
Because whatever is so Beguiling in One,
& Unpalatable in The Other
Extends to Everything about or Connected to them.
In my own case; of which i am of The Repellant Variety;
i have found it ‘Fascinating’ to observe that people often react with Genuinely Hysterical Revulsion after viewing some of my most benign & innocuous drawings.
This sort of thing leaves ( me ) confused & bewildered. This same sort of reaction occurs after having an unexceptional conversation with someone, or observing their behaviour after reading one of my blog posts or viewing an objective photograph that i’ve taken.
In The Case of an UnAltered Photograph, Whatever Mysterious Attribute i possess that is so Disquieting, It is transferred to this empirical artifact ( ! ) ?
The Anti-Thesis of this; Which you may be more familiar with;
Is found in any number of ‘Friends’ or ‘Acquaintances’ which you have, that are demonstrably offensive in regard to physical appearance, irritating personality, nettlesome social skills, vexing body odor, tiresome fashion awareness or aggravating conversational faux pas’.
Why do you put up with people?
Why do you seek them out?
Why do you enjoy their company?
You may yourself or know of an Attractive Man, Boy, Woman or Young Lady that has a Steadfast & Romantic Relationship with A Remarkably ( Objectively ) Loathsome Companion. Does this Strike you as ‘Odd’ ?
Or— Do you ‘Rationalize’ this Affinity with some ‘Indefensible’ Justification ?
There is a very curious ‘observation’ that may be made when someone encounters The Breaking of a Taboo, In which The Viewer would be completely UnAble to Explain or Clarify what it was that was ‘Wrong’ with The Taboo Breaking Behaviour; But they will invariably react Emotionally with a Genuinely Horrified ‘Ugh! That’s Disgusting!’
The Same effect occurs in An Opposite Sense when you perceive A Socially Fallacious Relationship of The Sort Described Above; Where an Attractive, Kindhearted & Benevolent Woman is Romantically Involved with a Oafish Brute. You’re Logical Mind is unable to Comprehend what The Mechanical Cohesive Operations are that are holding this Union Together, But your Well Enculturated Social Temperament readily accepts it.
You may flippantly respond to an enquiry concerning this relationship with the tattered adage; ‘Opposites Attract’.
But what i’m suggesting is something Deeper.
There is ( The Best Explanation that fits The Data ) A PushMe-PullMe Form of ESP that is most readily identified in The PullMe Category as ‘Charisma’ & The PushMe Family as ‘Revulsion’.
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i have a diagnosed character disposition known as ’A Schizoid Personality Disorder’.
This may or may Not be Related to ‘Asperger’s’, which Symptomatically, is nearly identical.
The Nut of this Impairment is what i had long ago diagnosed on my own; As my Inability to ‘Feel Lonely’. i can easily go days, weeks or months without talking to anyone, or having any desire to talk with anyone. But this does Not mean that i have a Phobia ( of which i have many others ) of Talking with People, as i can freely chat with anyone on any topic for prolonged periods— with The Small Caveat that under a Variety of Circumstances, i do become increasingly anxious after about 5_minutes. But in other circumstances; such as when all parties are engaged in some activity, i can sustain a ‘Social-Affability’ for a much longer period.
Most people that i encounter for a short period of time can discern no such Social Affliction with me, & some, particularly members of my family, are certain that no such Infirmity Exists;
This is Where The ESP Force of BeWitchment/Repellant comes in.
After a period time, in which i may be described as ‘Friendly’, ‘Genial’, ‘Easygoing’, or ‘Pleasant’— These people will actively choose to avoid me.
Am i avoiding them ?
Possibly. As i will often find that i dread visiting someone, or even calling them on The Phone, ( which is a principle component of my Socially Dysfunctional Condition ), i usually do Not Shun people which approach me.
And as i have mentioned already; i believe that this ESP Force extends beyound personal contact. i may be expressing a classic symptom of ‘Paranoid Schizophrenia’, in which i attribute causality to observations, where none exists;
Such as my leisurely pastime of diagraming The Purposeful Structure in photographs of clouds—
i believe that i can shut down a newsgroup conversation or thread on flickr by adding a comment to either.
One of The Strongest Splinters of Evidence for this Effect is my Dismay at The Complete Absence of Commentary, Criticism, Rejoinder or Backlash in response to some of my most Inventive & Revolutionary Creations posted to my Blog or Images on Flickr.
It seems to me that these Articles possess some additional Attribute that causes anyone viewing them to be Repelled at a Subliminal or Visceral Level of their Exposure to them.
Am i The Crazy One,
Or is there in fact A Kind of Sensory Experience which satisfies The Observations Noted or Suggested here. ( ? )