Monday, December 01, 2014

The -New- Star Wars

Monday, December 1, 2014 5:58:20 AM

The -New- Star Wars


Ugh !

i just saw some snippets of The ’New’ Star Wars, & it is so obviously a ClipArt Collage of The Previous StarWars, Particularly The First Three, That is; 4, 5 & 6 ( ! )


This revisits a similar problem that i have with All The Reboots & Continuances of Star Trek; In which The Original Star Trek with Shatner & Nimoy, featured at least 5 or 6 really, genuinely Hugely Original Ideas to Fantasy/SciFi :


btw : The OS Star Trek was a Fantasy ( Dream Time ) Program, Not A Science Fiction Program. All of The Star Treks After The OS Star Trek -Were- Science Fiction Programs.


a) The Design of The Enterprise, which was Completely Different from Any Spaceship prior to that.


b) The Transporters


c) Phasers, which were arguably different from Lasers, in that They were more like a Force Projection Beam, Rather than a Cutting Tool.


d) The Tricorder, which came out at a time that Video Recording was in it’s infancy.


e) The Tiny Medical Scanner & Scanning Bed.


f) The Communicator, which came out After The Man from UNCLE’s Communicator Pen, And at time when Walkie Talkies were very Common, But still many, many years before Cell Phones.


g) A Fairly Broad Spectrum of Genuinely Alien Creatures that appeared beside The Absurdly Bipedal, English Speaking Humanoids ( ! )


h) The Universal Translator, whose Operation was explained to some degree.


i) The Food Replicators, whose functionality may or may Not have been based on Atomic Printing.


j) Warp Drive was Fairly Old Hat by Then.


k) Force Fields / Deflectors had been in Lost in Space.


l) ( ? )


The Problem i have with this is that in all The Revisitations of Star Trek, even The ones that took place hundreds of years after The OS Star Trek, There was only The Barest Technological Innovation & Certainly No New Big Ideas.


i’ve often Speculated that it would be Fun to have a Film of The Future, say; 500 years into The Future, & Everything would be Completely Incomprehensible ! ( ! )


Spaceships would Certainly Not have Consoles covered with Buttons !


The Spaceships of The Deep Future would probably Not even Closely Resemble Physical Machines. ! They’d be more like Lawn Chairs & A Blanket laid out on a Freshly Mown Backyard.


btw : one of my favorite bits from The OS Star Trek was a Scene in which Kirk & Spock were operating The Transporter Console & The View was from The Far Right, & The Control Panel was Arguably a little too ‘Bare’, So Roddenberry or The Set Designer decided to fill it in a bit with A Surface of PingPong Balls cut in half. !!! That sort of thing, to my way of thinking far Surpasses anything that they had in ST-NG or Voyager.


Another small point : i had become rather annoyed that on The TV Series Star-Gate SG1 ( isn’t that redundant ? ), The Evil Aliens would often use Earth Guns to Dispatch Their Enemies. Granted; They would often use The Lightning Rods, but Contemporary Guns were far too common.

i was thinking that it would have fun, If every time an Alien used a weapon of somekind, it would be, or have an Entirely Unique Effect on The Victim !


One of The Very Fun things about The Original Star Trek was that whenever you saw an Alien using a Transporter Device, The Effect Would be Subtly Different from The ‘Federation’ Transporters.


Simply Disintegrating someone is archaically frumpy.


Victim bursts into Confetti.


Victim flattens out into a cut-out.


Victim’s Shadow Remains & Runs off.


Twirly Light turns Victim to Water


Modulated Hiss/Crackle/Whistle Crystalizes Victim


Rings of Light Envelope Victim with A Sparkling Bubble that then shrinks to The Size of a Pingpong Ball


Beads of Light Changes The Victim into An Improbable ( x


Bolt of Lightning Changes Victim into Photograph, which remains active for few minutes, as The victim in The photo slowly ‘freezes’ into a horrified pose.


Light Bulb causes The Victim to become transparent and Evaporate


TV Program causes The Victim’s Brain to Liquify and Leak out their Ears


Clown Horn causes The Victim to Explode into Buttons


Crayon is shoved up The victims nose, which causes their hair to start growing & growing until there is nothing left but hair.


Gun which instead of pushing out a bullet, sucks in a portion of The victim.


Hand full of powder is thrown on a lawn, causing all The grass to suddenly become carnivorous, immediately eating The victim from The feet up.


A Man is Arguing with another Man in an Office; The Man behind The Desk becoming Furious with The Other Man, which Senses this & Begins to Flee towards the Door; As he attempts to Escape, The Man behind The Desk is only able to pick up a Stapler, which he Begins to Hysterically fire at The Running Man that is able to leap behind The Door to The Office, But after he slams it shut & Collapses in Apoplexic Fear, The Staples Penetrate The Thick Door, Revealing Tiny Prongs beside The Man’s Head & Body.

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