Paparazzi Solution

Friday, August 16, 2013 12:51:24 AM

Paparazzi Solution

The Paparazzi are in The News again, & i’m pretty sure that i’ve already posted a solution that famous people could use to get rid of them; But i’ll mention it again, as it is very simple.

Make a list of all The Magazines & Tabloids that buy pictures from The Paparazzi. This shouldn’t be too awfully long, i would very surprised if it was more than 30 or so.

Contact all The Publishers or Editors & offer them a Deal so Sweet that they’d be crazy to turn down.

The Deal is This:

Keep in mind also that The Pictures that are routinely published of these celebrities are astonishingly mundane & tepid. Even The most scandalous ones are unimaginative & upon The most superficial reflection, repetitive & banal a moment after The initial benign jolt is experienced.

The Offer :

Dear Editor or Publisher of Tabloid (x ;

If you Stop buying These Photographs that The paparazzi are offering you of me or my family; I & my family will provide you with a given number of ‘staged’ =Dream Photographs= which you will have The liberty to disclose, or not, that they are performance pieces specifically created for your publication. They will be photographed by persons of my choosing, So as to appear impromptu & without my permission.

You will provide me with a list of your Dream Photographs every month, & i will choose which of them to choreograph & send to you.

While it is my understanding that you frequently pay these Paparazzi stupendous sums for their snapshots, No Payment will be required to me or The Photographers of my choosing.

- - -

This sounds like a very sweet deal to me.

The only reason that i could imagine that The Editors or The Celebrities would choose Not to participate in this Fraudulent Bamboozling of The Publication’s Readers is that The Controversy & Chaos of The Paparazzi is The Performance that they are all participating in & Selling, And Not The Perfunctory Insipid Snapshots at all.