Odd Biddles / Personal Anecdotes...

This section is for Personal Anecdotes...
Odd Biddles,
Evidence that i've been abducted by Flying Saucers,
Sexual Exploits, Criminal Desires,
Insolent Confessions, Pietistic Apologies...
and so on...
i.e., ( et. al. )

Things that i Can't be Recalling Correctly...

Do you have memories that are so quirky that you often wonder...
Did that really happen to me... That way...???
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These are some kooky incidents that i have sinewy memories of---
But are they reliable...???

1. The Marble Incident...
   Have you ever met anyone that had such a strong sense of Charisma that it was of The Jedi-Knight Order of Mind Control...???
   My 6th Grade Teacher had this Quality.
   His name was Gary Rust.
   There are innumerable examples of how this was manifest throughout the year, most notibly by the continuous occurance of special events that recieved media attention... Attention that was not paid to The other classes, students or teachers that were not under Mr. Rust's tutelage.
   One residual aspect of this Charisma; was that we, The Students, felt that Mr. Rust genuinely respected us as Humanimals, and we, in turn, genuinely respected him.
   This respect was of an order, many upturned recliner sofa's above the usual faux-respect that Ordinary Teachers demand through punishment & intimidation.
   We really liked him; and it would have hurt us deeply if we did anything to betray that trust that we shared for one another...
   So one afternoon; While the preponderance of the class was out at recess ( or somesuch ) there were about a dozen of us remaining behind in the classroom, working on various projects...
   We were all sitting dutifully at our seats, not talking, just as if-- any other teacher were there cruelly supervising us... But there was no teacher there, not even a designated monitor; We were on our own, and behaving ourselves...
   Because we were under the spell of Mr. Rust's ubiquitary guidance.
   Then:
   Another teacher, one that i was unfamiliar with...???...BURST ( Explosively! ) into the room, completely hysterical, Ranting incoheriently about 'A Marble' that had rolled out from under the door of our classroom.
   To this day; i don't believe that there was a marble.
   But she had her way, and lined us all up and cross-hackled us roughly for several minutes, and none of us had any idea what she was yapping about...!!!
   One student; The trouble maker ( of sorts ) admitted that he had rolled the marble out under the door, but simultaneously revealed that he didn't, But was willing to take responsibility for this imaginary fiasco.
   Considering our ages, this was an amazing act.
   Mr. Rust was sent for, and the short of it ( all that i can remember ) was that all the boys were given 'Hacks' ( legal at that time ) while the girls escaped this torture. i beleive that the hacks were administered by Mr. Rust.
   What was this all about? Interclassroom Politics...???
   One thing is for Certain; i lost alot of respect for The Institutions of Public Education
   --and curiouser...
   That was the last year that Mr. Rust taught 'Anywhere'...!
   It was my understanding that he gave up teaching after that and was reassigned to Administrative Duties...???
   
2. The Rodney Disowns me...
   When i was living in Bremerton, My n'cle Jack & Auntie Joanie lived in Seattle, about an hour away by ferry and auto... So from time to time, they would invite The Rodney ( my father ) and me over to dinner...
   But they did this in kind of kooky way...
   They would ( according to The Rodney ) invite him; and through him,
   He would invite me...
   So that n'cle Jack & Auntie Joanie would never 'directly' invite me...???
   Would that have been so difficult...???
   So one afternoon when The Rodney called to invite me over to their house for dinner; i balked. i said; "Why don't they just invite me themselves...???"
   And The Rodney went completely ApeShit.
   "What do you want: A Golden Invitation!?" ...and so on.
   So that went on for a few minutes, all the while, i was trying to be very reasonable; suggesting that a simple phone call would do...
   But this was completely out of the question.
   So after he hung up; i thought that i would call his older brother ( Jack is The Rodney's younger brother ) and get 'Phil' to help straighten things out, after all, he was The Patriarch and that's his job... right...???
   Because i didn't have his phone number, i called directory assistance to get it.
   As soon as i mentioned who was calling; He immediately launched into what seemed to be a well rehearsed rant pertaining to every slight, affront, snub, discourtesy and feeble affectation of disrespect that he had ever imagined that i had inflicted upon him...???
   There is essentially two or three comparitively major exploits that may have established a foundation for this missive. One being that i'm a crazy lunatic that has spent the bulk of my adult life as a street person, and the other is that i changed my last name, Which the paternal side of the family found some distain in...???
   The third thing is that i'd been 'freeloading' off The Rodney for several years.
   This last thing was kind of easy; because he's such a 'light touch' and since my parents were divorced when i was around 8 or so, i figured that he 'owed' me a little...??? What exactly... Who the heck knows the answer to something like that-- but with all 'my issues' of being a neglected asperger's child, and so on... ( et. al. )
   ...Plus he's the only person in my family ( until just recently when i moved in with my sister ) that i've ever so egregiously mooched off of...
   That established: This Second Rant by Phil went on for what seemed like 15 minutes at least...??? And all without any indication of any breaths being taken... So that when he finally did start to wind down, i'd had plenty of time to relax and thank him for his valuable input, then i gently hung up.
   i don't think i ever did get a chance to explain what i'd called about...
   i did recall that he believed that n'cle Jack did not have my phone number and i suggested that he use the same technique that i did, to get his; ( Phil's ) Use Directory Assistance.
   One thing about discussing ( arguing ) with someone that is not prone to reasonable dialogue, is that they do not want to engage in reasonable dialogue.
   Any suggestion of reasonable dialogue only further enrages them.
   Which was true in this case.
   So what was going on here?
   Why wouldn't n'cle Jack & Auntie Joanie personally invite me over to dinner?
   Why did The Rodney & Phil find this request so utterly unreasonable?
   What was biting Phil's Ass?
   Why did The Rodney go completely ApeShit and Stay in a state of perpetual ApeShitness for the next 5 years, or so, until some ( Unknown* ) ailment finally killed him...???
   [ *His Death Certificate didn't list a cause of Death...??? ]
   Curiously; i think that after this-- i got along reasonably well with n'cle Jack & Auntie Joanie... But-- They NEVER DID invite me over to dinner.
   
3. Being Put Back in The Fifth Grade...
   i have learned comparitively recently that i have an iq of around 130...
   And it is entirely reasonable to think/believe, that i when i was a child, i had an iq of 130, or possibly even higher then...???
   So why was i held back in the 5th Grade...?
   Was i an unruly student, constantly getting in mischief...???
   No; that's not it.
   i was a very polite and well behaved student.
   Unusually polite, Unusually well behaved.
   Was i flunking all my classes...?
   Well; i have a distinct memory that that year, i wanted to get a hamster, and to get the hamster, i had to get at least 3 B's on my report card. i got the hamster, so i must have gotten the 3 B's.
   Does that sound like the academic performance of someone that needs to be held back...???
   One curious thing about it -Then- was that i was completely indifferent to being held back. Perhaps this is a clue. i seem to recall that besides being polite and well behaved, i didn't care about anything.
   i had absolutely no interests in anything, no hobbies, no involvement with sports, no favorite musical bands, no favorite authors.
   Nothing held my attention.
   But i do recall that being put back did confirm something that i was constantly being reminded of, And that was that i was stupid.
   Everyone seemed to agree on this point, and now; i had proof.
   Then; much later; in High School, and later; in College, This disconnect between my performance in these other venues, and my internal certitude that i 'Can't' be doing well... Was the source of tremendous confusion...???
   
4. Getting Kicked Out of DVR...
   After i got on SSI and was designated as 100% UnEmployable...!!! ...
   [ Slight Digression: My sister works at a place that cares for severely disabled people, many of which are little more than human shaped sock puppets. So despite this, The Agency that oversees these people, insists that they learn 'Life Skills' which may, or maynot, include employment experience...??? But this same government; has decided that i don't have to obtain any such credentials, And am under no obligation whatsoever to find an avocation...??? Pretty Kooky-- Huh...??? i don't make up these rules folks, i just roll with 'em. ]
   ...i moved to Eugene Oregon, and then to Bremerton Washington, where, after living there for 5 plus years, i thought that i really should try to find a job...???
   i had no idea of how to do this; but i think that i was 'inspired' to try this place that i'd passed many times while riding on the bus to Silverdale...
   It was something called DVR; Department of Vocational Rehabilitation.
   That sounded like what i needed; So i wandered in there one day and after a short interview with what amounted to 'The Receptionist'-- She told me to 'Get Lost' and 'Look in the newspaper'.
   Some time after this; i returned and got a more lengthy interview with someone that may have been something more than a receptionist... But as it turned out, the Receptionist may have been the brains of this outfit.
   By some series of circumstances or mechanisms that have been long forgotten, i was sent to a far away Day Care Center for elderly & disabled individuals.
   Kathy -- was trying to get a 'Art Program' started there-- But she didn't have a clue has to how to do this, or anything else, as far as i could tell, and i didn't know what their resources were, or how to get anything like that organized either... All i had to offer, was a bunch of Hand Made Greeting Cards and some other bits of Mail Art, which got me that far.
   So this wasn't going anywhere, and to advance to a 'Real Job' position, i had to somehow 'Qualify' -- and that would take awhile... By more unknowable mechanisms...??? ( That never seemed to involve my participation )
   During this very mysterious transitional phase, i continued to go and do some odd jobs at The Day Care Center-- And i would send postcards to Marge Gardener, my DVR Case Manager... to let her know that i was still interested, Since this transitional phase was taking months...!
   One of these postcards had a letter that was tightly folded up, and affixed to the area normally reserved for succently compressed tidings!
   When The DVR Office got this; Marge was 'Away' ( at a Hospital ) and the clerks that processed it-- THOUGHT IT WAS A BOMB...!!!
   So they called The Bomb Squad, and by means that were never made clear to me, determined that it was not a bomb...
   Nevertheless-- The Head DVR lady called me up, and in a face to face interview, told me about this 'Bomb' and DisEnrolled me from DVR.
   There are just so many layers, and crazy things that i didn't even mention, like the medical evaluations...??? ...that it's really hard to know where to begin in an examination of this...???
   It's just Kooky.
   
5. The Entire Ninth Grade...
   After my parents were divorced and we moved to Spokane, Washington, i attended The Longfellow Elementary School... ( Since torn down, and replaced with a Gawd Awful looking piece of Crappity Crap -- 'Modern' Architecture ... anyways... )
   ...from the 4th to the 8th grades. i plodded along, never giving much thought to anything.
   When i was to advance to the 9th grade, they had just finished a new Jr. High School; Garry Jr. High, which was for 7th, 8th & 9th graders. So i went there for the 9th grade.
   Clearly, i think, this was a transitional phase for me, but more than that--
   Several really odd things happened.
   i met Steve Stamotopolus (?) A definitive 'Bart Simpson' type that wasn't a hard core criminal, but merely a dedicated mischievious imp, that smoked pot and was forever getting into imponderous situations that never seemed to blow out of control. In his company; no police were ever called, no serious injuries occurred, no buildings were ever burnt to the ground-- but there was a constant grandeur of percieved delinquency...
   He was also the first person, that i truly respected, that enjoyed spending a free afternoon aimlessly browsing through a library, to find interesting books.
   He taught me that being smart was 'OK'!
   But despite this new epiphany; i completely failed Algebra, and Never did any work in any of my classes that i can recall.
   By all reasonable accounts, i should have flunked every one of my classes-- But i didn't.
   Plus; No one seemed to notice that i wasn't doing a bit of homework or turning in any assignments...???
   How could this be...???
   The most egregious of these failures was Chemistry, which i distinctly, VERY Distinctly, recall having NEVER read anything in The Text Book or Doing any of the Assignments, i don't recall learning ANYTHING about Chemistry...!!!
   And yet-- i passed that class as well.
   The entire 9th grade was a large musty closet with nothing in it, yet somehow, a pair of socks were found in it, at the end of the year, to let me get into highschool.
   Another very curious thing--
   Was that One of The History, or Social Studies, teachers was affiliated with The American Institute of Foreign Studies, Essentially a Travel Agency that allows young people to visit Europe and such...
   The year i was there, she handed out 'Ditto's' for people interested in this, and of course, i just threw mine away...
   Then a year or so later, she wrote my mother asking if maybe i would be interested in going to Europe that next Summer...???
   The Net Effect of this was that she has 'Picked' me...???
   Which seems VERY unlikely...
   What is more reasonable; is that she was fishing for students, because she wanted to visit Europe and she needed some fodder to pay her way...???
   As it turned out, i got my dad to fork over $2000 and i went with several other students, all of which were less than sterling examples of academic pursuance...
   But i had a lot of fun anyway...
   
6. Money When i was A Street Person...
   For the longest time; about 7+ years that i was a street person, before i finally got on SSI, i would often have money to buy Hot Cocoas with, or Coffees and Rolls @ McDonal'and with, but i can't seem to recall how i was coming by this income...???
   i seem to recall occasionally turning in Cans in Oregon, and there was this one Extremely Anomalous phone booth in Pacific Grove, California that i would pass by nearly every morning, and it would 'Often' ( many more times than once... ) would be literally full of quarters in the coin return bin...???
   But i would much more frequently have plenty of money for laundry, and journals and other completely unnecessary biddles...???
   
7. Sleeping in Corvallis Oregon...
   Just about every place i've ever been, i have a pretty clear memory of what i used to do when just hanging around there, and where i slept at night and so on...
   But i recently revisited Corvallis Oregon, when i distinctly remember having spent several months there, and even watching the MiniSeries 'Shogun' (???) at the TV room at their Student Union Building...
   But i have Absolutely NO RECOLLECTION of where i slept there at night...
   Which is Very Unusual for me...???
   
8. Other Things that i just Don't Understand...
   Dispite many years of trying to figure them out...???
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1. Bell's Inequality...
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2. Multiple Universe Interpretation...
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3. Matrix Arithmatic...
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4. Social Conventions [ Taboo's ] ...
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5. The Dearth of Political Assassinations...
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6. Suppression of Various Technologies...
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7. Dissemination of Wrong Ideas...
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9. Getting Kicked Off The Assisted Housing List in Bremerton Washington...
   After i'd been living in Bremerton Washington for about 5 years ( + ) i decided to see if i could move into an Assisted Living Apartment ( ??? ) which are Amazingly Inexpensive, like $5 a month...!!!
   So i signed up for both The Kitsap County List and The Bremerton List--
   And i think that there may have been some 'Complicated' Things that i was supposed to do, to make this work, that i didn't do...
   Like contact the Individual Apartment Buildings or some such... Partly because i was initially #400 on both lists, and i thought that i'd wait until i got to the top 20 or so before i put more effort into it...
   And both lists where supposed to be like Six Month Waiting Lists and i was on The Kitsap County List for more than 10 years...!!!
   But prior to that, i got kicked off The Bremerton List because at some point, they sent me a 'Are you still Interested in This' Do-dad ( Questionaire ) and amoung the questions was: Have you even been convicted of Child Molestation? or something like that... and i wrote in; along the margin, since it was a Yes/No Question, and provided only boxes for an Answer; "No, but i am a compulsive masturbator."
   So they kicked me off their list...
   But i thought that that was kind of Kooky, so i tried for a few weeks to find their 'Office' and was completely Unable to do so...!!!
   They apparently existed as a Mail In Service only...
   It also strikes me; That this Housing Solutions Service ( ? ) was specifically for Disabled and Crazy people, so that i again demonstrated that i was Too Crazy for An Agency Specifically Designed to Accomodate Crazy People...???
   
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