New Police Procedures

Thursday, March 13, 2014 7:03:25 PM

New Police Procedures

i was just watching a bit of news concerning The Rampaging Driver in Austin T- …

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Short Digression :

Austin in Not in T- Proper, it’s in a different State —

A week or so ago; i was watching The Film; ‘Bernie’ ( A True Story )

Which featured a short Geographical Breakdown of T-, which explained to my satisfaction, that T- is actually, or should be; 5 distinct States; of which my fevered hatred only extends to one or Two of them; The Dallas &/or Houston Section(s. )

West T- / Flat Range for Cattle Ranchers

Dallas / With The Snooty Wealthy T-ians.

Houston / Carcinogenic Coast To Louisiana

South / San Antonio / Where Tex meets The Mex

Peoples Republic of Austin with The Hairy Legged Women & The Liberal Fruitcakes

Up North : The Easily Forgotten ‘Pan Handle’ ¹

East / Carthage / Behind The Pine Curtain, Where The South Begins

End of Digression

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And i was thinking ( again ) of how simple Police Procedures should be revised.

One of my prior Considerations concerned The Often Sited Police Shooting, in which a Dozen or so Police Officers surrounding a Suspect, open fire, discharging hundreds of rounds, & The later medical examination reveals that The suspect, usually a crazy hobo, a teenager on drugs, or a distraught unwed mother was only hit 5 times.

My ReThink on this would Only Allow ’Sharp-Shooters’; which are Not only Excellent Shots, but Calm in The Face of a Crisis, to have actual bullets & be allowed to discharge their weapons. All other Police Officers would Not be Allowed to Participate in Shootings where Sharp-Shooters were Present, & Even if They were on their own, They would Not be Allowed to Use Ordinary Ammunition. They’s be issued Blanks, with Rubber Bullets & Real Bullets in their FannyPacks, where they’d keep all their Other Junk, out of sight; which is usually hanging clumsily from their beer bellies or Velcro strips on their legs.

These Fanny Packs would be very cleverly designed to hold Not only all their usual geegaw, but their side-arms as well, so that when their just walking around, They would appear unarmed & harmless. Although everything is out of sight, The Officers would be able to reach around & grab whenever they needed in less than a second. It would also be designed so that they could run without things shaking out, or allow ne’er-do-wells to grab stuff from them, even in a scuffle !

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But i was thinking today about Chases.

If you’re a police officer & you spot someone that needs to be pulled over, you should first make a wild ball park estimate whether or Not they are likely to pull over when you flip on your lights & siren. If it’s a routine traffic stop, you’d have every reasonable expectation that they would, but if they’re Wanted for several outstanding felony warrants, They would Not.

If It would be far more reasonable to expect them to Rabbit, In a Careless manner, Disregarding The Safety of Pedestrians, Unleashed Pets, Deaf Squirrels & Other Vehicles, Then Don’t flip on your lights !

In this Austin Incident; i can well imagine that The Drunken Lunatic might well & possibly quite reasonably, blame The cops that were chasing him ! If they weren’t chasing him, He wouldn’t have been driving so recklessly !

In many Jurisdictions; They’ve already figured this out, & if a ‘High-Speed’ Chase begins, The Police back off, Regroup & make an effort to pursue the suspect, later or on another day.

This new Procedure wouldn’t even wait for The High Speed Chase to Begin. Instead; If The suspect is expected to Run, The Police would arrange to bring The Car to a Stop in a Benign Manner by boxing it in with Unmarked Police Cars, at a light, before making an Arrest or Determining The Nature of The Driver’s Activity.

Presumably; This would happen Rarely, But The Reduction in Property Damage & Bloodied Shirts would be well worth it.

 

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¹ Also : Concerning ‘Pan Handles’
The Top of T is sometimes referred to as a Pan Handle,
As is The Northern Region of Idaho,
Along with some other possible candidates;
But The only True Pan Handle is in West Oklahoma.
The Idahoan Feature is a Chimney
& The T- Block is a Hat.

 

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