20 Selected Mischievous Ideas

20 Selected Mischievous Ideas 

i have a collection of ‘Mischievous’ ideas 

That i’ve been pooling for several years now; 

And here are 20 of them. 

They may not be The Very Best ones from The Set, 

But they are certainly not The Worst.

Messing with Capital Punishment

You obtain All of The Police, Prosecution & Court Records of a Convicted Murderer without anyone knowing that you have done this. The Convicted Murderer is then Executed & you confess that you are The Actual Murderer. Your story is entirely consistent with all The Evidence & you additionally add a convincing & logical manner by which The Convicted man was thought to have committed The Murder. 

Legally; You can not be prosecuted for this Murder; But you have to endure The jeers & death threats of many self styled vigilantes. The Police & Prosecutors are burned in effigy & public opinion results in many of them being fired, & many law suits are brought against them resulting in millions of dollars in settlements.  

After making millions of dollars from book & movie deals, you confess that your confession was bogus; & you write another book about The fiasco. It is Also a best Seller, but you have since disappeared & changed your identity. 

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It might be noted that a common ’Scientific’ Aphorism may be applicable here; ‘Any Theory or Explanation ( or Confession ) that Fits all The Data, Must be Wrong, Because some of The Data is Invariably Spurious.’ ( ! )

As such; A Truly ‘Authentic’ Confession should have some elements that ‘Believably’ deviate from The Recorded Documentation. The Confession should include, of course; Some Items that The Police & Other Investigators insist could =Only= have been known to The Actual & Authentic Killer. ( ? )

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General Purpose Murdering Tips

1. Run The Victim over with a Car. Be sure that you, The Driver, is Completely Sober and Free of Any Extraneous Distractions. Your Freedom is dependent upon the fact that you were driving very safely... And they just stepped in front of your car.

2. The Same Approach may be used when murdering a co-worked during a friendly game of tag-foot ball. Everyone was just playing in a safe and cautious manner, and we were all astonished when s/he broke their neck.

3. If you decide to mug & bludgeon a person away from their home or usual haunts, be sure to wear clothes that you would never ordinarily wear, and then remove them a block or two from the murder and dispose of them in a grease bin behind a chinese restaurant. Be sure to change Everything. Wear no Jewelry & Wash your hair & brush your teeth at a public restroom before going home. Dispose of The Toothbrush, Paste & Shampoo. If anyone sees you at this time, just ignore them.

4. Don’t Panic. Never Panic. Relax. Relax. Everything will be fine. If someone sees you in The Vicinity of The Murder, Along with other people, What in The heck were THEY doing there? 

5. A Victim is found Dead by What appears to be a Perfectly Natural Accident. In The Course of Notifying Friends & Relatives, The police come to your door to tell you that she is dead. They don’t say how. You respond in a Cheerful, but subdued Manner. The Police comment that your reaction is somewhat odd, and you reply that you’ve been planning on murdering her for several weeks now. You then ask how she met her premature demise, And they then reveal that it appears to be an accident. You say; ‘Really; Appears to be; An Accident?’ ‘Yes.’ The policemyn replies. ‘And you suspect foul play perhaps?’ ‘It’s still open to investigation.’ ‘Hmmm.’ ‘It would also appear that there is a One Million Dollar Insurance Policy Made out to You, as The Sole Beneficiary.’ ‘Ah, That is Curious, But not Entirely Inexplicable. I had until very recently a One Million Dollar Insurance Policy made out to Her as My Sole Beneficiary. We were engaged to be married, and just broke up about a month ago. I then changed The Beneficiary of My Policy to The Local Animal Hospital, and it would seem that she forgot or neglected to change her policy.’ ‘Ah.’ The Police then withdraw and continue their investigation. You of course; Did murder her in a clever manner so that it would look 90% like an Accident, And 10% Suspicious, On The Grounds that All Accidents ‘Should’ look a little suspicious. You then take The Million Dollars that you have patiently waited several months to collect on, after you have received word that The investigation has been completed and it was deemed to be an Accident after all, And give The money to a Needy NonProfit Organization that you have no ( No Previous ) connections with. There is a small caveat though. They are allowed to spend $500,000 of it on anything they wish to, And retain The other $500,000 in an account from which they are allowed to draw 60% of The Interest from; And divert 40% of The Interest to Another NonProfit Organization that you have set up, and your Administrative Fee correlates almost exactly with this 40% Interest amount. A Modest but Steady Income for Life. The 60% that they Receive will simultaneously keep their foundation afloat forever.

6. Too much planning will almost always work against you.

7. If you’re going to kill someone, with a reason; That’s motive. You have to eliminate the motive. If there’s money coming to you, make sure that it doesn’t. Get it later. If they’ve betrayed you, let everyone know that you’ve forgiven them, It was just a misunderstanding. 

8. If you want to kill someone with a arrow, but they’re several miles away, use a cruise missile that fires an arrow. GPS microchips were made for amateurs to commit these sorts of terrorist attacks or murders.

9. The Perfect Murders are the simple ones. There are countless unsolved murders each year, and while most are due to police incompetence, The remaining few had the unassailable virtue of leaving nothing for the bright investigator to work with. 

10. A Serial Murderer sends a tantalizing taunt to the police in which a number of clues are given, that the murderer promises will make the most elegant sense when the victims are discovered. These clues take many forms; Including Haiku, Poems, Pages from Magazines, Polaroid Snapshots, Matchbooks stapled together, A Book Report by an Unspecified Third Grader, A Can of Beets, which, when opened for the first time, contains a set of Barbie Outfits. In one clue, a carefully drafted illustration of the torso is provided, with all cuts, incisions, bruises and burns. Curiously; This drawing is marred by a spill of coffee, in which one of the droplets exactly match a birthmark on the victim.

11. Everytime there is a murder, suicide or accidental Fatality in your vicinity, go to The police and confess that you did it. Naturally, you’re going to get all The details wrong and be labeled a nut case. You may be institutionalized for a short time, but other than this one quirk, you’re perfectly normal ( do not pretend to be crazy! ) and you’ll be released. After several of these; Commit your desired murder and quickly confess to it, getting all The usual details wrong.

12. A victim is selected and brutally murdered on a crowed sidewalk. Police quickly arrive and shower the assailant with bullets, but the killer defends himself by waving his large knife, deflecting many of the rounds, some shots hit pedestrians, killing them as well. He then dashes off into traffic along a busy boulevard, Then stumbles. When the cars pass by, He has disappeared...! =/= The Victim is real, and was really murdered. The Police that arrive are confederates that shoot blanks, or alternatively, real bullets, but are carefully aiming at the surrounding crowd. The knife is rigged to flash and provide a convincing ricocheting sound. In Traffic, another confederate is driving a car that may well have been created in The Discovery's Channel; “Monster Garage”. It is equipped with a conveyer belt that drops down from below the car, catching the killer and pulling him into the car as it harmlessly drives over him. The Confederate Police vanish into the confusion.

13. Horrific Weapon Idea : Sidewalk Cheese Grater. This consists of a section of sidewalk or park play area being replaced with a matrix of tiny tiny chain saws, which when superficially examined, look like an ordinary walking or playing surface, but when activated, grind whatever is standing on it into tiny flakes of sawdust. Below this surface is a powerful vacuuming system which moves these flakes of sawdust to a storage area, so that the net effect is that the object formerly on the surface, sinks into the sidewalk, accompanied by gratuitous screaming. To further expedite this process, each tiny chain saw has diamond ( or equivalent ) cutting heads and if they encounter an especially difficult material, they will reverse their rotation, being able to grind while spinning in either direction. If a material is so difficult to cut through that it causes a grinding saw to reverse a fixed number of times in sequence, then the vacuuming system for that area is reversed, blowing the difficult material either off the sidewalk area, or changing the position of the target, so that a new cutting angle may be predicated.

14. Self Replicating Molecules are the hall-mark of living organisms, but unless i'm very much mistaken, smaller; Demonstration Level Self Replicating Molecules have been created. What if it were possible to create a Highly Reactive Self Replicating Chain Driven Molecule that Eats up Oxygen Atoms. You simply Release such a Catalyst into the atmosphere and it begins to combine with Oxygen Atoms or O2 Molecules, and adds them to it's chain Molecule. The Catalyst would be on one end, grab Oxygen Atoms and combine them to a Pre grown chain or make a chain from existing carbon or other pollutants in the vicinity. It might be especially good if the reactive chain required a given pollutant atom or molecule every 20 or so links, so that when it ran out, the production chain would stop. It might also gain sufficient mass to fall to the ground, where a substantially slower reaction activated by Ultraviolet Sun Light would break the molecular chain apart, freeing the Oxygen atoms. But by then; The damage would be done, having sucked all the Oxygen out of a large arena or enclosed area. 

15. This is an AntiMurdering Tip. Let's say you've captured someone and you have them tied up in your basement. Then for whatever reasons, and they might be complicated reasons, not moral or ethical reasons, for NOT Murdering this person... But how can you just let them go? They've seen you and they know all about your evil plans! The Solution is quite simple. Just; Either seek their cooperation in buying back their life, or go to their home and find out something about them that would be perfect for Blackmailing them for a very long time. / As A Second Element to all this; you may wish to take some time to break down their story that they were kidnapped at all! Arrange evidence that they were at some specific location ( use a look-alike ) other than in your basement, and that you were somewhere's else as well. Of course; If you're dealing with a hard boiled egg, They may just turn around after you've released them and try to kill you! So you have to take that into consideration and arrange for postmortem consequence that will outlive your personal means. / A side strategy to this is to make them believe, very strongly, that they were held someplace very different from where they were held, along with other details, such as how long they were held, or introduce characters that are dressed in very realistic frog or alien costumes, so that when they turn up, their story is completely crazy.

16. Invent a gun that shoots 3 inch disks with either a diamond ( carbon coated ) edge or teflon edge. This weapon should shoot them like Frisbees, taking into consideration how they will track in a given wind, adjusting it's aim as it follows the path of tracer, illuminated disks that are stacked with the invisible ones.

17. Given that you are a large person, say more than 200 lb.  You murder someone in a rather straightforward manner, leaving a plethora of DNA & Fingerprints at the crime scene. This murder takes place in an area where you would be expected to leave clear & unambiguous footprints. You then make up a pair of boots whose imprints exactly match those of your favorite boots, such that there are, what might be assumed to be unique marks, cuts and breaks in the soles. These duplicate boots are then fitted to smaller boots and heavily weighted. These are then disposed of at a location where they will certainly be found by snoopy people that will turn them over to the police. / Using the DNA & Fingerprint evidence, the police quickly locate you, examine your boots and match them to the crime scene. But there is then the question of the duplicate boots? Obviously you were framed! Additional planted clues then point to one of your enemies, hence your murder nabs two birds with one stone.

18. You and a friend plot to murder your roommate. The murder is messy and blood is found on you and your friend's clothing, as might be expected, because the three of you frequently engaged in kinky sex. One of you, Either you or your friend is charged with the murder. The other takes the stand and admits that they committed the murder, thus freeing the other. B Then Either makes vague and disingenuous statements in their statement to the police, suggesting that 'B' blamed themselves for The Victim's death, as a Suicide. That is; B believes that The Victim was not murdered, but that they committed suicide and that they, 'B' was responsible by their careless behaviour. If in the event the police decide to charge B, 'A' takes the stand and confesses that the police had it right the first time, and that 'A' is guilty of the murder.  B is found innocent and neither can be charged again. Nor can they be charged with conspiracy to murder the victim, as A claims to have murdered the victim by themselves, and B claims that The Victim wasn't murdered at all. ( Principally derived from a short story i once read )

19. A side step of that last plan; Is to murder Henry. The murder is planned to look to a seasoned investigator like a complicated suicide, that Henry carefully planned to frame Gertrude for his own suicide, as a murder. The net effect is that The investigator will believe that Henry committed suicide but framed Gertrude, so that the police will think that Gertrude murdered him. But the police know that Henry committed suicide, Or did he? Was he really murdered by Gertrude that tried to make it look like a suicide? At any rate; You are clearly out of the loop.

20. Tandem Bombs : If one is tampered with, The second, more carefully hidden bomb goes off disabling the bomb squad guy, without disturbing the timing of the primary bomb.

21. If you are caught and it is proved far beyound a reasonable doubt that you did it, Then:
Argue that you should be allowed to Murder People with the same impunity and Lawfulness as The Government does, So long as you adhere to Their Standards of Murdering People.
Such as : Capital Punishment, CIA Assassinations, Police Shootings of Innocent By-Standers, Collateral Deaths in War, or Near War Zones, Any number of ‘Accidental’ Deaths, in which it assumed that Angels ( You do believe in Angels Don’t you! ) wished them dead, or they would have saved them. ( Do Angels allow anyone to be killed before their assigned Date? )

22. The Best Murders are ones that look like a perfectly natural accident. Such as Falling from a roof while cleaning out The Leaves in The Gutters, and landing on Their Head. But what if you want to kill your boss at work. He’s in his 30’s or 40’s and still playful, you encourage him to play a game that some of you in The Office have taken a fancy to, and that is; Sliding down The Railing in The Stairwell. The Railing is arranged so that you can slide down floor after floor without loosing your momentum. After several office workers have witnessed him participating in this activity, One afternoon, simply drop him down The Central Empty Shaft. If you can arrange to have witnesses believe that you were elsewhere in The Building at The Time, so much The Better, but if you were present at The Time of this Horrible Accident, That should be fine too.

23. A Hit Man(ess specializes in arranging their victims to be doing something insanely dangerous in front of an audience of dozens of their friends & family, so that there can be no doubt that it was an accident.

24. If your victim has The Sort of Job that is Inherently Dangerous; If you can arrange their murder to look like a Job Related Accident or Fatality, then there wouldn’t be an investigation making any effort to link you to their Death. / If on The Other hand, their job isn’t at all Dangerous, You can still arrange for a Job Related Accident of The ‘Freakish’ Nature that again shifts any possible relationship to you all The more Unlikely. / Another Great approach would be to dress up like a street thug & Murder your victim in a 7-11 or other Corner Grocery Store as part of A Robbery. Be sure & wear a Disguise. 

25. Plant a Children’s Lunch Sack at The Bus Stop at a time when you victim is expected to show up. Poison The Cupcake, which they will certainly eat.  / If The Victim is A Drug User or Alcoholic, The Sack might contain something more Tempting. If An Controlled Substance; Make it especially potent, so that a regular dose will be an overdose. 

26. It might also be fun to leave poisoned Drugs in Shady Neighborhoods to get rid of The Riff Raft. Whatever poison you use, It should be of a kind that takes a long time to kill The victim, without a noticeable Onset of when they first become sick so that they don’t associate The Found drugs with their Illness & Demise. 

27. As with any ‘Big’ Crime; It is always best to arrange for most of The Work to be done by Law Abiding Citizens that don’t believe that they’re doing anything wrong, So that if your all caught, they will be found innocent of any wrong doing, because they will in fact have done nothing wrong. Each Partitioned Element of The Crime is Perfectly Legal, & Only becomes Illegal when they are all Assembled into a Continuous Stream of Action. Even The Planners may reasonably plead Innocence as they fully expected That The Result would be, Should have been, Perfectly Legal. When this applies to Murder; The Death of The Victim is merely a Horrible Accident. 

28. Serial Killer Tool Kit / Blankets that look like A Pile of Leaves, Garbage or Bricks. This may be thrown over a victim so that they will go undiscovered for hours, days or weeks after your spontaneous murder. / Taser / Defensive Chemical Agent / Silencer / Night Vision Goggles / Proximity Alarm. This ( These ) work with your cell phone to alert you when someone enters a designated area. / Variety of Official Looking Badges & Identifications / Remote Controlled Weapons that work with your cell phone, so that you can view & fire/detonate weapons from a remote location. / Kitten or Puppy to lure children away from their parents or guardians / Roll of Money to lure women into your car or away from a party / Big Durable Garbage Bags. + Several Cans of Spray Adhesive + Duct Tape. This Approach also requires some ‘On Hand’ material, such as leaves, grass or garbage to glue to The victim ( which has been taped into a ball ) & then place in The Large Durable Garbage Bag to leave in a dumpster. This is to assure that if The bag is broken or torn open, only this debris will be discovered. Once The body has been transferred to The City Dump, you can rest assured that it is gone forever. / Cell Phone Disabler. This might well extend to A General Purpose Radio Communications Disruptor. / Stiletto. An Excellent Murder Weapon if Used Properly, Which is to Enter The Chest from under The Sternum to poke a hole in The Heart & give The Blade a Subtle Twist before Removing it. The Desired Effect is to allow The Body to Very quickly bleed out internally & Die quickly, which prevents any additional blood loss through The Entry Wound. / A Ready Supply of Murdering Clothes, which will be disposed of after each murder. / Disguises / Quick Change Clothes. These are ‘Professional Magic’ Outfits which may be changed very quickly, as in The blink of an eye. / 

29. Disguises are always a good idea; Then dispose of The Disguise a few blocks or more from The Murder Site. The Principle Idea; Get into The Disguise some distance from The Murder; Then Get out of it soon after, & get rid of it in such a way that it will not be associated with The Murder or You. It may be perfectly alright ( somewhat counterintuitive ) if you kept an extensive disguise kit, & disposed of only The Disguise that you used for a particular murder. The police would find your Disguise kit if you were captured, but your attorney could argue that The kit is missing The Disguise that was seen at The scene of The murder. This would be a classic case of The police insisting that The missing evidence is The Proof of The Crime. ( which any lay person should recognize as crazy talk. )

30. Acting Crazy, or Acting like a Crazy Person before Murdering a Victim in A Crowded Venue may be very desirable if you have a good ( foolproof ) Exit ( Escape ) Strategy. Once extracted from your Disguise & Murder Location; Finding you will be nary impossible.

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Interrogations 

1. Always mirror your interrogator's demeanor, match meanness with meanness, sarcasm with sarcasm. This is particularly useful when the interrogation is done outside a police station, at the suspects home or work place. If you happen to get a police officer that likes to imitate lieutenant columbo, you may try to out columbo him, pestering him to stay and stay while asking him endlessly pointless questions, following each up with more questions to make him think that you're actually going somewhere with your questioning, but of course you're not.

2. It may be effective to simply drive your interrogators crazy by consistently answering Their questions with completely inappropriate answers. That is; Make up some other question in your mind, Then carefully & politely answer that one. Other than this one Technique, Do Not act dumb or crazy.

3. Making a ‘Street Officer’ ( Not a professional Interrogator ) so angry with your shenanigans that s’he attacks you, This may or may not work in your favor.

4. Ordinary People never remember where they were or what they were doing The day before yesterday. If you claim certainty about such a date’s activity, This is a sure sign of Guilt. / Likewise; An ironclad alibi is extremely rare, investigators are very suspicious of anyone with an ironclad alibi.

5. If you’re trying to feign multiple personalities, or any form of insanity, never draw attention to this. Let The investigator piece it together. Insane people are always convinced that they are completely sane, but don’t be overly confident that you are sane, You are so sane that it should be obvious. Likewise; Do not claim to be unusually intelligent or ‘Not Stupid’. 

6. Curiously; Genuinely stupid people ( IQ Range 75 to 90 ) often use The Phrase; ‘I’m not Stupid!’ So maybe that would be appropriate, if you’re feigning Stupidity. But don’t over do it. People with an IQ lower than 80, are usually aware that they’re dumb and don’t usually draw attention to it. People with an ‘Average’ IQ, are usually very proud that they’re ‘Normal’, Believing that both especially dumb or smart people are ‘Dangerous’.

7. Innocent People are usually confident that any interrogation will reveal that they are innocent and that they are only being questioned to piece together what happened. 

8. If The Police ask you to ‘Guess’ what may have happened, Politely decline. / If they are very insistent; you must walk a fine line of getting some of The obvious details correct, while The important details wrong. If The police try to corral you into correcting your ‘mistakes’, then you should give them a quizzical look & suggest that they already know what happened.

9. If you are guilty; And you are discussing The Crime Scene, be sure to get as many details wrong as you can. Even if they tell you The victim was stabbed, quickly forget this, and insist that you were sure that they said she was bludgeoned.

10. Act Distracted, Like you’re not at all concerned about what is going on.

11. If they leave you alone; Assume that you’re being watched & recorded.

12. If The Interrogators are annoying, let them know that you’re annoyed, Innocent people are expected to be ‘put off’ by unnecessary nonsense.

13. Ask to go to The bathroom, and if they tell you to hold it; Crap your pants. Then tell them that you’re HIV positive. This will require that The Entire floor be cleaned by a hazmat team, costing tens of thousands dollars. If they later discover that you’re not HIV positive, insist that you were sure you are because you have all The symptoms, Pointing to a mole or (x as an AIDS Skin Cancer. 

14. If they continue to harass you until you confess; Give in only after several days, and get all The details wrongs, even if they are constantly prompting you with The correct details. If you’re required to write out your confession, write as illegibly as possible, misspell common words and mangle your sentences. Sign your name in an entirely new manner.

15. The Interrogator will try to ‘Dominate’ you by sitting much to close, and take pains to see your entire length. Simply over dominate them by leaning into them when answering questions and keep changing your mannerisms to confuse their natural attempts to decide if you are being deceitful. Adopt a particular mannerism when you are being truthful, and one or more for when you’re deceitful. Then; after some time, mix them up.

16. Projectile vomiting is an amazing talent if you can do it whenever you’d like to.

17. Never brag to anyone what you’ve done. This is such an amazingly stupid behaviour for criminals. You want to get away with it! If you do decide to brag to your cellmates, get all the details wrong.

18. If The Interrogators ask you to examine something by picking it up take a better look at it, Politely decline. If after additional prompting, you still refuse, giggle a little. ‘Oh— So you think this is funny!?’ ‘I think it’s funny that you think I’m so stupid as to pick it up, Which actually means that you are stupid.’ Ordinarily; You never want to tell someone that is genuinely stupid that they are stupid, Especially if their are in a position of power. Curiously; Telling a Smart person that they are stupid, when they have in fact done something ‘foolish’ or ‘Uncalculated’ or Underestimated your Intelligence, they will simply shrug it off and change tactics.

19. If you find yourself giggling or laughing ‘inappropriately’ & are asked what’s so funny. Decline & then if pressed; Tell The lead detective that his nostrils are funny. Or some other aggravating reason. 

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Torture Tips

Whether you have a day or a year to extract some information from your victim; 

Or whether you just want to mindlessly fawk with someone for your personal amusement...

a) You remove someone to a secluded location and then make them believe that you’ve cut their head off and are preserving it without their body. Then over time, you change their numbed body to a different appearance, include weight gain or loss, pigment or tan change & muscular changes, than when they arrived, fake a surgical scar around their neck to make them believe that someone else’s body was attached to their head and release them. The purpose of all this; ?

b) Making someone believe that they are in a quite different environment than they are, while they are kept completely in the dark, can be loads of fun. You can fake echos to make them believe they are on a ledge with a deep precipice just inches away, or there are rats or other wild animals near by. Or that there is mysterious machinery near by. The purpose of all this; ?

c) Allow your victim to escape again & again ( almost ).

d) Treat your prisoner reasonably well, but make them believe that there are other prisoners being horrifically tortured near by, especially prisoners that they know or have come to know, and are planning an escape with. Or feed them well, and allow them to believe that they are eating the other former prisoners.

e) Make them believe, through carelessly left junk mail, magazine subscriptions & television programs that The Current Date is very different from what they believe it to be. ( ? 

f) Torture them in a perfectly convention manner, but allow them, make them believe that Their tormenter is someone that they know, such as a coworker, neighbor, governmental official, famous celebrity or relative— then let them escape. 

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Hidden ( Gematria ) Pictures

Take any given Magazine and tear ( carefully ) all the pages out,

Then arrange them as to make a much larger collage.

Ideally; all The Pages will be arranged neatly on a grid, so that the pages are matched edge to edge...

But it might be equally amusing if they don't. In this case, they would be arranged in a haphazard manner, so that they would appear to be thrown on the floor.

The net effect, afterwards is that a large, composite image is formed.

This image should be as offensive as possible, and it would then be asserted that it was intended to be incorporated into the magazine at it's inception by the editor & art department.

When releasing the image to the media, you would add an accompanying explanation of how the art department created this collage to send a subliminal message to its readers.

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Ordinary Photographs

An Ordinary Photograph, perhaps with old fashion silver grain in the emulsion, more so, has the ability to record far more than just visible light... It may be that the atoms in the film were effected by the entire electromagnetic spectrum and recorded information from the entire subject, deep within the object or person, so that if that information could be pulled back out, the person from a very old photograph could be reconstituted, in a flawed manner, so that the representation of them in a fractional reality, could be talked to and information from the time when the photograph was taken, could be extracted...???

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Turning People into Slime mold

There is s new idea in the medical community that it may be possible ( already done with mouse's skin cells ) to turn a normal cell into an adult undifferentiated stem cell...

If so; Then might it also be possible to create a disease inducing virus that causes all cells to turn into stem cells, changing it's host into a undifferentiated mound of amoebae like slime mold?

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Ceramic Magnet Cores in Golf Balls

So that someone standing in the crowd would be able to deflect a golf ball during putting...

Or put a second set of Ceramic Magnets in the Shoe Heels of the Golfer & His Caddy.

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Trained Seagulls

Several months before a Big Golf Tournament, Train a few dozen Seagulls to pick up Golf Balls and let them loose on The day of The big Tournament. Be sure to acclimate them to crowds of people and condition them to ignore anyone trying to dissuade them from their work.

They might additionally be trained to drop The balls into The holes. 

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Strategy for Robbing a Bank

Basically; The preferred strategy for robbing a bank would be to make a clean get-away...

So that this idea is reserved for bank robbers that just want to mess with the police.

Step One: Rob a bank in a conventional manner.

Step One (b) : Leave clues that you did it, but keep those clues ambiguous.

Step One (c): Be sure that the bag of money contains an exploding dye bag.

Step Two: Get home; Carefully open the bag so as not to detonate the dye bag.

Step Three: Hide or Spend Money.

Step Four: Dye your hands and face with a dye of the same color that the dye explosive contained, but has a distinctly different chemical signature.

Step Five: Be sure that the police see your dyed hands and face.

Step Six: After your arrest, be sure that a forensic test is done to determine the chemical signature of your dyed hands & face.

Step Seven: After your acquittal; Throw a no hard feelings party for the arresting police officers, bought with the money that you got during the robbery.

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Rig up a dilapidated house with hundreds of carbon arch lamps so that some drizzly night it lights up like 200 super novas.

When it's later investigated; All The lamps are gone, and further investigating reveals No spike in electrical usage. The inside of the house is filled with witchcraft paraphernalia and an old man, torn to bits by apparently an very large creature. 

Later on; Giant foot prints from a dinosaur or dragon like creature are found, and more victims are found that were torn to pieces.

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Simple Assassination Escape

It has always annoyed me terribly that many Presidential Assassins have given their assassination plot so little thought, that they simply walk up to the President and shoot them. This has always seemed incredibly stupid to me... 

But it may be quite clever if you add another simple layer to your plot by arranging for several police cars to show up and brutally arrest you... Except that they're not really real police. They are your confederates. 

- - 

This idea seems so familiar to me that i suspect it's been used in some movies that i have otherwise forgotten...???

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Bad Certificates

Print up a bunch of fake Certificates and use them to replace the certificates in an office full of them.

Notice of Being a Registered Sex Criminal

Regional State Champion in Crayon Book Drawing

Something to do with Urinating

Something to do with Phlegm

Something to do with Star Trek Trivia Expert / Technobabble Fluency

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How to Defeat or Pass Legislation

What if you feel very strongly about some bit of legislation that is coming up and you have a little money, but not enough to really sway the vote the way you want it to go...?

How abouts if you very publicly contributed the most you could afford to The Side that Opposed your Position... That is; Give a large contribution to the side that is supporting the position that is exactly The Opposite of What you Want...!!!

The Reasoning is this: You Publicly Donate $5,000 to the cause of seal hunting, which uses your money to promote their position with Television & Radio Advertising.  This Media Activity Inflames The AntiSealHunters...! They come out of their closets and donate to the Save The Seals Campaign and ultimately; Your Cause is Victorious...!

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Sell Immortality to The Vain And Wealthy

Offer UnFamous Rich people to make a large bronze statue of them and fill the plaque with nonsense that is both grandiose and unverifiable or un-unverifiable both contemporaneously &/or in the near future... So that the statue, The plaque and the myth will remain long after the rich person dies and is forgotten.

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Rarity Becomes Commonplace

Now that The World's Population is approaching 60 Billion, All those Statistically Kooky Events that would only occur every 20 Billion Instances, Will be occurring, somewhere in the world, every few days. 

Like Two Headed Babies.

In The Summer of 2009; Two Two Headed Babies ( Four Heads ) were born in Indonesia & The Philippines.

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Wimp Suit for Mountain Climbers

This is like an Astronauts Space Suit, Except that it's much, much lighter. 

It's purpose is to keep the climber warm and provide them with plenty of fresh air for a leisurely climb to the top of Mount Everest. 

There are plenty of Safety features built into it, Food Bars, And Inflation Mat for Resting or Sleeping, but essentially since it's a fully enclosed environment, No Additional Tent is needed. Rather than storing Oxygen, it simply pulls it from the surrounding air, compresses it and warms it for use by the climber. Chances are, as slovenly as the climber is able to proceed, there will probably be a greater need for the suit to disperse excess heat than generate it. Power for some systems are produced from solar cells covering some parts of the suit, and when resting, panels may be extended, along with a wind turbine. For emergencies, high energy fuel cells are available. 

Even so; With all the features to make the trip as painless as possible, The climber will still be required to climb a few miles upward within a few days. 

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DEFEAT AIRPORT SCREENING

Or Why The War on Terrorism is A hoax !

What would happen if =The Terrorists= began to Target Airport Screening Stations...!

That is; They would send someone in with a book bag full of explosives, and detonate it at the X-Ray Machines & Metal Detectors. If they did this only a few times, Or even only Once... What would be the Possible Reaction?

Would they set up Screening Facilities farther away from the airport,

But this would allow numerous holes to appear in the widened parameter...

Would they set up Layer upon layer of Screening Stations...?

And then; The Outer most layer would be bombed, and then what...?

Would it simply mean the end of all Air Travel. 

And then when the trains are targeted...? 

- - - - 

It might not be necessary to blow up buildings to destroy a Civilization, 

But to simply target KeyStone Security or Service Points.

1. Airport Screening Stations

2. Gas Stations

3. Metro Bus Terminals

4. Key Bridges

5. Supermarkets / Department Stores

6. Disrupt Cell Phone Communications

7. Popular Children’s Play Areas / Day Care Centers

8. Schools

9. Garbage Cans

These KeyStone Points may be Targeted with Both Real Bombs and Fake Bombs.

The Purpose of Fake Bombs is to Evacuate the Building and cause the local Bomb Squad to be running all over town, 24/7. 

In Conjunction with The Fake Bombs that look like real bombs, but are much cheaper to make and safer to transport. It’s important that some of these bombs do blow up from time to time, or almost blow up. Almost blowing up will give the bomb squads the confidence that they are in control and are doing good, as opposed to being entirely pointless.

- - 

Along with Fake Bombs or Bombs that look like Bombs, There should be an Equal or Greater number of Real Bombs that consistently Blow Up that don’t look like Bombs at all. These may look like a sack or pail lunch, A Stack of Dirty magazines, A pile of dog poop on a school yard that has to be cleaned up, A pile of leaves that invites children to leap onto it, A Book in A Library or on a park bench, A $20 bill wired to a bomb underneath it, and so on. The Obvious purpose of these is to keep people from cleaning up or touching anything in a public venue. 

It has already been demonstrated a few times that any slightly unusual ‘advertising’ item or device left out in the public venue has brought cities to a grinding halt. It is truly inconceivable that if there really was a real terrorist organization, such as Al Qaeda, have not exploited this to it’s logical conclusion. 

The correct conclusion : There is No Al Qaeda, there is nothing like Al Qaeda. There are not even any Actual, or in any way, Effective Homeland Terrorist Organizations. The few that we hear about are just small groups of ‘Good Ol’ Boys’ that like to go out in the woods and play Cowboys & Indians with Real, Often Very Illegal Guns. Have any of these groups ever gotten into Mischief that wasn’t started by The FBI or other Government Agency? 

The Answer is; No.

It is indeed very surprising that there Aren’t any genuinely effective groups like this, Irregardless of how small a group we’d like to choose from. 

There just aren’t any.

And Satanic Devil Worshiping Clubs that Sacrifice Real Babies or Hitchhikers, 

There are Real Serial Killers, but they never seem to get together and form groups any larger than One.

There are Very Few Cases Where there were Two or More Members of A Serial Murdering Cabal :

 John Allen Muhammad & Lee Boyd Malvo circa. 2002 ) 

The Charles Manson Group

Bonnie & Clyde Gang

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold of The Columbine High School massacre

Kenneth Bianchi and Angelo Buono; The Hillside Stranglers

Kiyoshi Higashi; Craigslist Killer / Ringleader of 3 or 4 henchmen

Igor Suprunyuck and Viktor Sayenko; Both 19, Involved in The Spree Murders that took place within a month.

And None of these are Even Remotely Connected with Anything like a Political Organization bent on The Overthrow of Anything. 

Even something like the SLA, Whose fame is owed to Patty Hearst; had only local political interests.  

This entire War on Terror is a Myth. 

It has substantially less reality attached to it than The Easter Bunny. 

Santa Claus is far more real than Osama Bin Laden. 

- -

Food Contamination is an old favorite, It should be reasonably easy to poison school lunches, so that children & their parents will be afraid to let them eat hot lunches, 

Or such actions would precipitate draconian measures in the schools, as they already have in checking for guns, knives and such, or at airports.

7 & 8 year old children will no longer be allowed to wear shoes to school and their only lunches will be warm tap water & dry bowls of corn flakes.

- -

Any Effective or InEffective Action that causes the victims to Over React and Become their own worst enemy is The Desired Effect. When you can’t bring down a civilization from the outside, simply introduce a small amount of itching power to cause the target to scratch themselves to death. 

This means that when the regional law enforcement thugs take to the streets to ensure order, all the people they will be gunning down will be innocent civilians, and everyone will know this, regardless of how often they tell you otherwise. The Terrorist Organization will become the new, best & more reliable news organization. What they say will have a far greater ring of truth to it, As it will be much more subdued, Less hysterical, And Accurate.

- - 

Other Ideas

Model Airplanes with GPS Guidance Electronics to effectively make them into Cruise Missiles.

Small Toy Like Robots that are able to roll or fly into Offices or Banks and Cause Mischief.

Use A Model Airplane to drop a comparatively small number of real bombs and considerably more fake bombs over a crowded Arena or Stadium, causing a lethal stampede. The bombs should be attached to parachutes with blinking lights to make their visibility unmistakable. 

- - 

Infiltrate Airport Security with Agents that Abuse The Public, causing a greater loss of confidence and faith in the Security System. It is already believed by most people that these people truly enjoy groping adults and small children anyways, and it might reasonably be argued that any ‘normal’ person that has been ‘correctly’ indoctrinated into western civilization would Not Recoil at the idea of performing these duties anyways.

- -

Blow up Airplanes with small missiles that are attached to guide wires that The Airplane Wings catch on and pull the bomb onto The Wing. Such a easy scheme would require little accuracy, and if the plane comes down while taking off or landing, It will cause considerable damage to surrounding neighborhoods.

- - 

If it is indeed possible to break a wine glass with sound, then what is stopping a device that broadcasts a very loud, correctly pitched amplifier from breaking thousands of windows in a large city?

- - 

It has been fairly conclusively shown that spiking a water supply with LSD or some such is infeasible for a variety of reasons, but might it be considerably easier to mix aerosolized LSD, PCP or some such with Horse Liniment ( So that it would be absorbed through The Skin ) and spraying it over a crowded arena or stadium with a model airplane?

- -

Create a very life like dummy and set it on the ledges of tall buildings away from any windows, or superglue the nearest windows shut, so that this illusion would be perpetrated for as long as possible. The net effect would be to close off streets for a whole day or more, and eventually make the rescue squad look like idiots. 

Do this a dozen or so times, until they no longer respond, then start throwing people out of windows.

- - - 

Once The Civilization that you’re attacking begins to stop reporting your terrorist attacks, and twitter gossip & email replaces the evening news, most people will come to understand that the news is no longer reliably telling them what is going on. And this means that gossip & rumor will amplify whatever terrorism that you are actually performing. This hearsay & Tittle-tattle will reliably create all sorts of new disasters, and since no one believes any ‘official’ news outlets, the common parakeets will have no where, really no where, to turn to find out what is really happening. If any of these people have witnessed anything in the 1st or 2nd person, every new report has the weight of gold. 

- - -

i’m absolutely certain that if i had a million dollars, of which i would end up spending a small pittance of, And a nationally organized group, broken up into several dozen autonomous cells, connected through a hierarchy of cells or internet points, with each cell having a unique & large one time encryption pad; i would be able to bring down The american civilization in 30 days. 

Why isn’t anyone doing this?

Why isn’t anyone even trying?

Why aren’t there any Super Criminals?

Why aren’t there far more political assassinations? Why do we routinely hear of young teenagers murdering one another over a pair of shoes, or a 12$ drug deal gone bad, or a girl friend that didn’t want to go to the movies; Yet when a CEO or Congressman screws millions of people out of their life savings; All of our most beloved psychopaths sit on their hands? 

- - 

The ONLY Two possible explanations that seem to make sense to me;

1) Someone has a Time Machine that is constantly repairing these ‘Large’ political & social Disruptions.

or 

B) We’re living in a Screen Saver Reality that is occupied by a very small number of Sentient, Conscious Entities, and The User, whose computer we occupy, is simply too distracted by their everyday affairs to make their screen saver any more complicated than is absolutely necessary for their quiet & benign amusement.

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Concerning Faking a document or painting...

It has always seemed to me that it should simplicity itself to fake a document or such by simply knowing what tests are going to be employed to test it's authenticity.

Then fake the item to express those attributes.

Using this approach, it should be reasonably easy to fake such things as isotope ratios, chemical trace elements, molecular contamination, and materials availability.

There is always the chance that some new test will become available and used within the time frame that you've introduced your fake and hope to convince your target patsies.

If so; You should easily be able to deflect such results by countering with all the prior results that prove that it's authentic, vs the new and untested method. 

Later on; After your scam has reaped your rewards and you've hidden the money in off shore gold mining operations... Who cares. It may be nice if your fake remains authenticated until long after you're dead, but only a few weeks or months should suffice.

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Sports Analysis

i suspect that sports nerds are already doing this; But curiously, i have not heard of it being exploited to its logical conclusion...???

It is my firm belief that sports, particularly school sports, do =NOT= successfully teach children the values of good sportsmanship, team cooperation, how to fill your empty lives and so on... But Instead teaches them how to be Complacent Losers. In every sports competition, The Few Winners are advanced to play other Winners, while the vast majority of the losers are discarded by the wayside. Even in the case of The Team that makes it to the finals and then loses, they suffer the greatest defeat in that they are made to believe that they -could have been- something special, and then failed to reach their potential...! While the teams that were eliminated early on, simply put aside their feeble aspirations to be a great (x) player and went on to something else...

But what i was thinking about today was that --- What If the team that made it to the finals and was then really trounced by the other finals team...?

Would the other teams that were previously eliminated rightly believe that their elimination was a fluke...? Could they have been the finalist team and won the grand championship...?

What If some troublemaker with a clever understanding of Statistical Probabilities were to Carefully -Calculate- The Actual worth of every team by means of point spreads and other factors and then convincingly argue after the final match, that this team that won was not actually the best team. That the best team was actually team (y) that was eliminated 4 tiers ago...?

Then this team would challenge the winning team and either beat them, that would result in significant scandals, or lose by only a small margin, much smaller than the team that lost to them in the finals.

i suspect that this scenario would, or should cast significant doubt about the entire system of choosing a winning team, and would demonstrate that all these players that are told that they are winners, may not be winners after all, and that the losers may not be the losers that they are told that they are...!

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Tabasco Sauce, i love it

This idea has undoubtedly been performed zillions of times, 

So i mention it here only for historical reference.

Empty one Tabasco Sauce bottle and fill it with a benign formula of equal color & texture. 

Then when friends are over; Tell them you love Tabasco Sauce, take the bottle and drink it down. Then offer the other bottles to your wussy friends.

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Hold 'Em

There are a couple of Poker Games in which some of your cards are laid down on the table for all to see, while 1 or 2 cards are -In The Hole-, and only you are allowed to view them.

What if; You didn't look at your own -In The Hole- Cards?

Using this strategy, The other players wouldn't be able to -Read- you, since you know nothing more than they do. Your bets are based on what the other players know about their own cards and yours, rotated 180º.

It seems to me ( ? ) that it should be logically possible to derive a good wagering strategy based on the double-think of how they are responding to what they know about their own cards, and what they can see on the table. 

Of course; Their own Wagering Strategy may be based on Deceit, knowing that you don't know what you're own hand contains...???

Plus; It might freak them out a little that you're not looking at your own cards, Their entire Wagering Strategy depends upon reading your reactions to what you know, but you don't know anything... Or do you...! ( ? ) You do know how they are reacting, and you're sifting that through your own Wagering Algorythm. 

( ??? )

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Democracy No! 

Socialized Anarchy Yes!

i don't really believe in Democracy. 

That is; i don't believe that Democracy is a Viable Political, Social, Cultural Organizational Principle that works effectively for The Best Interests of The Damp Masses, or even for the Long term goals ( Whatever they may be ) of A Ruling Elite.

Democracy simply allows a Ruling Elite with Control of the Media, to lead the damp masses by their noses.

What is a Better Solution?

The Philosopher King with No Personal Agenda may be good, But how do you find and appoint such a mythical being?

What if The Philosopher King with No Personal Agenda were to be replaced with an Invisible Hand that Operated out of The Chaos of The Damp Masses.

The Resulting Social Order would Invariably have rough Edges, But it wouldn't be lead by any Centralized Controller.

This sounds just like Democracy doesn't it...!

But it's slightly different, just like Perfect Egotism looks just like Altruism, but is motivated by slightly different purposes, and operates by slightly different rules.

Socialized Anarchy has certain Dogmatic Principles that ensure it's survival.

Kind of like the principles written on the side of The Barn in Animal Farm.

As long as all the animals ensure that these principles remain intact, then The System or Social Anarchy should remain in The Invisible Hand of The Damp Masses.

1 ) Absolute Transparency of All Institutionalized Edicts & Spending. 

In the Electronic Age; This means posting everything that your local, regional & national institutions do, spend or engage in; are open to be examined by anyone.  Naturally; Some people think that keeping secrets is important to preserving security, but just the opposite has been shown to be far more true. Secrets make people less secure, because secrets are power & wealth. A secret kept by party A is something that party B may wish to buy for an exchange of power or wealth. But if everyone knows these secrets, they are worthless. They can not be used by anyone, to gain advantage over the disadvantages of others.

It may be noted here that i also believe that the damp masses are incredibly stupid.

So why would i want to put them in charge?

Even in a Magickal, Invisible sort of way...???

Well-- It's this way; While i believe that the damp masses are incredibly stupid,

i also believe that there are some very smart, very confused people...

As very smart people tend to be very confused.

Intelligence tends to encourage confusion.

It has been suggested that a man that has one clock, ( The stupid man )

Always knows what time it is,

But a man that has many clocks, ( The Smart man )

Never knows what time it is. 

( But he may well have a better idea of what time it -really- is,

Or-- He may just be very confused by the idea of time...! )

The dumb man with one clock never questions the idea of time!

The real world is like this.

Smart people may indeed have a better idea of what the real world is like,

Or it may well be that they are just very uncertain about everything.

Sometimes these confused people take control of a nation and lead it to ruin.

Dumb people, merged into an invisible hand are very unlikely to conspire to do anything like this. They will simply act, as an invisible hand, to promote a static & comfortable normalcy that evolves very slowly. Which i believe is very good.

This system of dull conventionalism allows smart people to sit in their basements and tinker with whatever projects they wish to tinker with.  Occasionally;  A bunch of these creative go-getters will pool their resources and start up a company that makes something silly,

But Transparency & The Damp Masses will prevent them, by means of Tedious Attrition, from ever taking over the world.

This rant was intended to be about keeping secrets, but the introduction has taken too long and i've forgotten what my original idea for this was...! ???

Stream of Consciousness writing is only good for expressing lots of little ideas, 

Not for explaining one central idea...

Always begin with an Outline...!!!

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Friendly Neighbors

This is an International Club of Swingers that have had a medical & psychological examination, As well as a criminal background check to Join, so that only people that don't have any venereal or other contagious diseases, including herpes, lice or cooties can join. Applicants that are Emotionally unfit to participate in the program are also excluded.

At the time that you're certified, you make a video, which you can change regularly, that introduces you to the Friendly Neighbors Community. 

Each Member is also given a Unique Identification Number that is short & easy to remember and enter into a Personal Digital Application. / Such as Giant Purple Zebra Six Twenty Nine. Three Letters & Three Numbers Allow for 17,576,000 Combinations. The Code Entered would be GPZ629. The Personal Digital Application would then bring up a photo of the person, and if it was still a little ambiguous if your new friend on the bus was who they say they are, or not, The Ap draws from a huge repository of information known about the real GPZ629, to ask a personal question or two.

Once Verified; You can have Crazy Casual & Very Safe Sex with The Person.

Besides the picture of GPZ629, The Ap displays graphical Reviews of what sort of person they are, Criminal History, Kinky Desires, Drug Use & so on... Each member can prescreen all new contacts to provide a quick warning or eager acceptance flag.

Everyone submits to a Medical Review every 6 months, and if someone fails, The Central Computer contacts all their Partners and orders them to come in for a Review, and All New Potential Partners are Warned that they are under review.

There are more sophisticated functions on the Ap as well. Such as tracking everyone in your vicinity and bringing them to your attention, or you can enter a criteria, such as Asian Women with Giant Clitoris' and The Ap finds all the women that meet this criteria within a 5 mile radius of wherever you and they are. Then you can call one and ask her what she's doing that afternoon. Some members may have their profile set up to invite new contacts that have passed prescreening protocols to just drop on by, while others may ask you to call first. The Ap also allows for Invisible Screening & Acceptance, so that you can perform a search for an chocolaty complexioned amputee under 40, and once located; their profile may suggest that you let their Ap know you are coming over at such & such a time. The Amputee's Ap then informs them that you are pre-approved, and are arriving soon, So that the normal protocol of confirming a new contact is performed fairly invisibly. The Amputee's profile then suggests that when you arrive, you pretend to be traveling salesman or rodent inspector.

The Ap also keeps track of everyone that you checked, and even everyone that you've been in the vicinity with. 

The Ap also routinely questions you with who you've had contact with, Such as; Were they enjoyable, Considerate, Recently washed, Bought Lunch, Good Listener, Talks too much and so on... All this is added to Each Member's Profile so that you can have your Ap screen for, or screen out various member automatically. The Ap also predicts which members you are most likely to get along with for just sex, watching TV with, spending an afternoon with or Marrying. 

The Friendly Neighbor Organization is so powerful & has so many influential members that it can often cut through dogmatic taboos & serious felony violations to allow young girls & boys to become active sexual members after they have submitted to extensive psychological examinations to determine if they are sexually, emotionally &/or intellectually mature enough to supersede arbitrary age limitations. 

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Cruel things brother and Sisters do

Evil Pranks / Practical Jokes

Put used condoms in your sisters waste paper basket knowing that your mother will soon empty it.

switch all their CDs around to different cases.

staple their clothes together that are hanging in the closet

learn to write just like them, then write things in empty blocks, think subtle changes, in their diary, so that when they go back and read prior entries, they think they are loosing their minds.

A Sister might glue sparkles onto their brothers favorite shoes.

Create a very nice ‘Stationary’ of your siblings that you use to write notes on, in your siblings handwriting. 

Leave post-it notes where your parents can find them that remind your sibling to attend a rave or pick up drugs at a particular time & place.

Add Spellings to Their Computer’s Dictionary so that it misses commonly misspelled words.

ReThread their Shoelaces so that one end is just short enough to be annoyingly dysfunctional.

Add HairRemoval Cream to Their Shampoo.

Buy a Toothbrush just like your sibling’s, then carefully remove all The bristles, & replace them so that they are just barely held in place, so that they all fall out The next time they brush their teeth. With any luck, they’ll think that its their teeth that are falling apart.

Spritz Their coat with a liquid made from Marijuana Extract, so that when The School does Drug Checks of The Lockers with Dogs, They always stop at their Locker.

Insert a drawing into one of your siblings Text Books in a drawing style that resembles their abilities, And of Them having sex with another student from their class. The illustration should depict your sibling thoroughly enjoying themself while The Other student is either a victim of rape or The perpetrator. Copious Blood & semen should be included. 

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The Most Perfect Mischief

Is No Mischief.

Pick a Victim and Make them Believe (x).

If you're even caught though, It must be completely Unprovable that you were ever trying to make them believe (x).

It must be Evident that The Victim is Completely Mad and their Paranoia & Delusions have Inadvertently Implemented you, But even this is shaving it a little close.

- - 

What is (x)?

Make someone believe that you have a weapon that is completely impossible, 

But that they can't take the chance that you don't have it, 

So that they have to pay you the ransom that you never demanded.

Such a Scam would require layers that cancel each other out like wave forms.

The Mischief would be visible only while it is motion, 

The moment that it settles down, it disappears.

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Esp Weapons

Huge Corporations have studied ESP and found that there is something there, but have been unable to nail it down with any useful applications. 

But maybe it would be possible to Identify Really Unlucky People, then encourage them to buy stock in companies that you wish to do harm to.

And other stuff.

- - 

i have considered this before; Is there a Actual ‘Homer Simpson’ ?

This would be someone that by no effort of their own, have become a pivotal historical figure that becomes intertwined with Celebrities, Events, Places; All The while remaining remarkably unnoticed.

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ESP Hamsters

You train a hamster to press a lever to get a small reward if they are able to press the right bar that requires them to exercise their esp. After training several hundred hamsters, there is undoubted be a small subset that gets a surprising number of the quizzes correct.

By lining up several dozen of these super esp hamsters into a grid, the unit controller would be able to determine the solutions to very complex questions.

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The Most Dangerous Weapon

Of Mass Destruction

Create a Viable AI Agent on a LapTop Computer

Then Contact A Local Mayor as your Liaison to Contact The President and Extort the Government for 100 Trillion Dollars.

The Alternative is Releasing it to The Internet and Mailing it to a wide Variety of Sources, Any one or more of them may actually bring it to The Market place,

Effectively Destroying Western Civilization. 90% of All Jobs would become Obsolete.

This Device, or Effect, is now Generally known as The Singularity, & has been predicted by Science Fiction Writers for many years now. In The Early days of Cybernetics, It was widely assumed that Computers that thought like people or could program themselves, would be very quickly be created— But it turned out that The problems that humanimals found very hard were easy for computers, & The problems that humanimals found very easy, were very hard to teach to computers. 

Now— 

i’m beginning to suspect that The Singularity is inevitable, But is being ‘held off’ by a variety of techniques, The most obvious, i think, is The suppression of Easy to use Programming Languages. 20 years ago, or so, there were literally hundreds of programming languages that were easy to use, & could quickly be mastered by any attentive 5th Grader. 

Now; Programming Languages are impossible to find, & those that are available are harder than ever to learn & use, & There are no Schools or Classes where i can go to get started with them. i find it completely incomprehensible that The Apple Store; While offering seminars for how to get started with my new Macintosh, Do not offer Introductory classes on how to program in X-Code, Dashcode or Even AppleScript !

i believe that it would very easy to create a nearly conscious simulation on a computer if you merely allowed users to teach their computer little things every day. Just how to expect things that The User routinely does, or set various options according to simple rules based on what was happening on a given day. After awhile, all these little tricks & conveniences would add up to a computer that seemed genuinely conscious. 

And The Entire Computer industry knows this; & they also know that The Singularity will Destroy Civilization within days of becoming easily available.

But what is far more ‘curious’ is that none of our politicians have even hinted at what they plan for when unemployment hits 98%. 

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Defrauding your Bank

Take out a loan to make improvements on your business, make some of the initial payments, then stop. The bank forecloses on your loan and reposes your collateral or your whole business; They board up the doors and then try to resell it for a few months, steadily lowering their asking price as apparent water damage, mice & dust accumulate around your stock & premises. Then under a front’s name you rebuy your business at pennies to the dollar, and pick up where you left off, with all your debts paid for in full.

-----------------------------------------:: o

Defrauding your Bank ii

Buy a house; Then under A Front’s name, perhaps using a local hobo that you’ve dressed up to rebuy the house you just bought. They take out a loan and give you the money that they just borrowed, ( minus a small helpers fee ). You then obtain another hobo to buy the house from hobo A, collecting the principle amount of the loan, minus a helpers fee to the hobos. 

Repeat any number of times.

At some point; you may wish to buy fire insurance in the names of all the hierarchal hobos and then burn the house down, in an clearly unambiguous electrical accident. Then collect on the dozens of policies. 

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New Version of Star Wars

Go to several Star Trek / Star Wars Conventions and recruit several amateur fanatics to work in compartmentalized cells, so that if the project is ever betrayed by anyone in such a cell, they will be able to do little damage to the project as a whole.

The project consists of Taking all six Star Wars films and recutting them into one 4 hour film with all new dialogue and a plot that vaguely resembles the original film, Only with far better Dialog & Additional Interesting Situations, that may involve new Characters that would in Inserted via CGI, As well as remove annoying Characters, or Replacing Characters with better looking, better acting Characters.

Entirely new voice actors would be needed to redo all the spoken material, as well as all new foley sound effects and background music. 

The jobs of the cells would be to take scenes and work up the foley effects, creating tracks that would be assembled later by other cells.

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Inflatable gun

It looks just like a real hand gun, like a revolver, but it's inflatable. It looks really real, maybe made from vinyl? The way i envision it being used is that a student at school would pull it out ( inflated ) and before an audience of 3 or 4 alarmist students, the gun welding student would angrily threaten to 'Pop' several students and teachers, then put the gun in their coat pocket before leaving to do their violent mischief! 

The Gun Welding Student has shown The gun to another ‘Trusted’ Student, while The Alarmist Dweebs that were Staged to see The Gun are ignored. They are then led to a Class room so that they know where you’ve gone, and after entering The Classroom, Drop a Series of Books on The Floor, making several very loud -BANGS-, Which in The Classroom you apologize for dropping. It may be preferable to have Confederates to Drop The Books or Several to Drop Books, so That Later, You have no part in any of The Pieces of The Fiasco.

It might be more desirable, and require some more preparation, to hide The gun in The Cover of A Book or for it to be pulled into a slot of a wooden desk top. In this way; The gun would completely and utterly disappear.

The alarmist students would undoubtedly report the student, causing an extensive school lockdown, evacuation, calling the SWAT team and so on. The police would then bust into the classroom, manhandle the student with the alleged gun, which has disappeared! It is actually deflated and hidden in a side pocket of their coat with a hidden pocket flap. They search the room, the hallway, his locker, interrogate him cruelly, and all the other students, and eventually arrest the alarmist students for perpetrating a hoax. Then the alleged terrorist student & other students that were harassed, sues the school for several million dollars.

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Economic War

It is believed by many that The US of the A’s tricked the Soviet Union into economically bankrupting themselves by trying to keep up with The USA militarily. The USA made the USSR believe ( falsely ) that they were spending billions of dollars on new weapon system, when we weren’t. The USA told the world that we’d spent billions of dollars creating millions of nuclear weapons, when they weren’t. The USA only has a few dozen nuclear weapons, while the USSR struggled to keep up with The USA.

- - 

What if Britain & France are doing the same sort of thing with The USA. What if Britain & France were responsible for 911 and tricked GWB into believing the Saddam was somehow responsible, and got us into Afghanistan, and now Libya. They goal, Destroying our economy and allowing the UE to becoming the new world power.

Or this scenario is replayed with China, Japan, North Korea, Brazil or Australia as the country that is grooming themselves as The New World Power.

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500 Children

A Very Wealthy Billionaire leaves a will which mentions 500 ( Whatever The Actual Record Requires ! ) recipients for a large inheritance for each. Each person’s file is accompanied with documentation, all faked, that ‘prove’ that this person is The child of The Billionaire, effectively making him The most prolific gigolo or satyr in The history of human kind. The amount is sufficiently large and each person is carefully picked so that their genealogical relationship is believable, and they will not contest The Claim that The Billionaire is their true father.

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Relationship killers

Things that people do that kill a once loving relationship:

1. Inarticulate Annoyance or Anger that makes The Recipient Partner shy away from any future contact because they don’t know what is going to ‘set them off’.

2. Petty Thievery.

3. Irrational or Experimental Philosophies regarding The Upbringing of ones children.

4. Bossiness or Nagging. If something needs to be done around The house, just do it yourself. If it turns out that you’re doing most of The Housework, then use that as leverage for future bonuses & perks. 

5. Physical Abuse. Everyone; From The Age of 7 or 8, should learn some judo or kung fu. Not only is it a good exercise and should provide The student with greater confidence in everything they do; But it strongly discourages untutored bullies from messing with nerds & ‘smaller’ victims. / Also; Victims that tacitly allow their partners to abuse them, they are principally responsible for The bullying. Victims are victims, but victims often teach their oppressors ‘what is ok to do to me’.

6. Unwillingness or Inability to follow or adhere to simple, inconsequential instructions or requests.

7. Violating a Known Religious, Cultural or Ethnic Taboo of your Partner.

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Only Atheists will be allowed into Heaven

This is a very simple idea; Gawd wants only The Most Dynamic Souls in Heaven, Such that only Those That are Willing to Defy The Will of Gawd’s Judgement to Seek Out their Own Personal Discoveries of Righteousness— Will be deemed worthy of Heaven. 

“Only Atheists will be allowed into Heaven.”

The Babynous Cult : The MailArt Phase

It seems to me that Gawd will want to fill Heaven with only the Noblest Souls and to do so, S’he/It has arranged for this World to be Mislead by various Religious Dogma's that are specifically designed to bring forth the most mealy minded, fatuous pedestrians, by insisting that the only way to get into Heaven is to perform the most specious, unreasonable, self destructive & socially ruinous acts that may be reasonably expected of them... such as mutilating your genitals, persecuting the weak & defenseless, sticking your head in a bucket, or espousing pure gibberish...

Anyone that betrays this agenda will be summarily sent into eternal damnation...!

Thus; Only the bravest, courageous & dauntless that avert themselves from the damp masses & social norms predicated by the established orders, will be worthy of that which they have rejected, to seek a greater, or true provenance of justice & knowledge.

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x) Fathered my Baby!

This is particularly good for A Very ( Very ) Young Celebrity, such as Justin Bieber.

You bribe or place a housekeeper that finds The handkerchief, towel or woman’s underpants that he uses to masturbate into. From this; You extract some semen & sperms which are then mixed with some pregnancy enhancers ( fluids which cut through The mucus in The Vagina ) and set The Solution to work in Your Fallopian Tubes.

Plan B

You bribe or place principle administrators in The few laboratories that do DNA testing and return a ‘Positive’ for The Test in Question.

Plan C

Obtain a DNA Sample by any number of techniques, including a sample of their hair ( pulled from it’s roots ! ), Or A sweaty T-Shirt or A Kleenex with Snot on it…!

And then use The Extracted DNA to make a Clone. Implant The Clone in your Womb and claim that it is their baby, not their clone.

Plan D

Isolate The Celebrity, get them drunk and full of Viagra, and make a baby in a conventional manner.

Plan E

Find a woman that The Celebrity really has gotten Pregnant, then switch The baby at The hospital or shortly thereafter. Not only will ‘your’ baby be genuinely related to The Celebrity, But their ‘Child’ will not.

Plan F

Have a child with The Twin of a Celebrity or A Close Relative, or Arrange to have Two Close Relatives have a Child together, then claim their child as your own, and The Celebrity as The Father.

Plan G

You ( A Male ) show up with A Baby that you Claim is A Female Celebrities Child & Yours. Obtaining An Egg of The Woman is slightly trickier, but only more challenging.

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Imaginary Friends

There are a few cases ( not many ) in which a schizophrenic person or (x asserts that they can ‘see’ and interact with ‘invisible’ or ‘imaginary’ friends. These imaginary friends seem completely real & solid to them. Sometimes these imaginary characters are friendly, & sometimes they are not. - 

Usually; voices and other phenomena like this that are ‘projected’ from a schizophrenics mind, are from their ‘Id’ and not at all friendly. They tell their ‘host’ to get into mischief and so on. 

- -

There is some ‘talk’ about how ‘real’ hypnotism is.

 Just how ‘real’ is it? Is it merely ‘suggestions’ that would be equivalent to anyone making a suggestion to anyone else, with some small caveat allowing that ‘some people’ are more ‘suggestible’ than others, and ‘some people’ are more ‘influential’ than others. But basically; There is nothing even remotely ‘mystical’ or even ‘mysterious’ about hypnosis. 

In those cases where someone does something very ‘kooky’ while under hypnosis, The critics claim that The subject was merely ‘playing along’ with The hypnotist. 

This seems somewhat improbable, But— It also seems very improbable that ‘most’ people can be ‘made’ to think, believe and act on what appears to be very gently suggested ‘instructions’. ( ??? )

- - 

The Point being :

What if it were possible to set up a Business in which you would ‘sell’ imaginary friends.

These imaginary friends would be fully ‘real’, and The customer would be able to have sex with them, or molest them in any manner that they would so choose. These imaginary friends would also be good, attentive listeners and possibly even do chores around The house. Such chores would be done by The Customer, but they would believe that it was done by their imaginary friend.

In order to ensure that this/these imaginary friends were always imaginary, They may possess some attribute that no ‘real’ person would possess; Such as a Third Eye in their forehead, No hands, or Fewer than The Normal Number of Fingers, Hooves for Feet, Have a Blue or Remarkably Yellow Complexion, Always be Naked without a belly button, or a Stylized Belly Button, or Square Nipples or Whatever.

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Rewriting Local Historical Events

This idea occurred to me quite a while ago, and i just recently had a dream that expanded this to another level.

The first idea concerned a young boy, say 9 or 10, and an older sister that keeps a diary. The boy buys another diary just like it to obtain a key that matches his sisters, that is well hidden. He then studies The entries of The Diary very carefully, and using The Duplicate Diary, practices his sister’s handwriting and doodles so that he can imitate it flawlessly. 

Then after she has filled in half of The diary, he goes back to find empty pages or gaps in his Sister’s Diary and fills them in with A Faux History of his sister. So that when their mother or father, or even The Author herself goes back to re-read old entries, she will find these faux pages and see that they were unambiguously written by her ! How could she have forgotten that she gave Tom Budster a Blowjob in The Boys locker room, or that she witnessed a murder while out with Suzy Candlemaker & Dorothy Hazlenut, both of whom have mysteriously moved away and can’t be contacted. 

- - -

In The Dream; i got ahold of some old super 8 films made by my uncle Jack and using modern technology, inserted myself & other elements into them, Then refilmed them so that they would appear to be The originals. If they have since been converted to Digital Mp4s; Then so much The better. It would be quite easy to match The Appearance of The Film Quality, and insert new characters or ambiguous duplicate stand ins that would necessarily ‘have to be’ Common Characters in The Films. One might also introduce entirely new films that are kept in a second shoe box, very similar to The original that feature sexual misdeeds or other crimes & misdemeanors that their children or grand children will someday find.  

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Psychological Warfare

Start a Rumor; With Press Clippings & Classified Memos, Emails, Documents & Testimonies from Disgruntled X-Employees—

That Various Extremist/Radical Left Wing Liberals have United their Efforts with Several Major & Regional Advertisement Firms to Insert Subliminal Mind Control & ReEducation Messages & Indoctrination Conditioning to Convert Everyone in America to becoming Homosexual. 

This is based on The Discovery that Homosexuality is a Psychological Disease that can be Cured;

But just as easily, HeteroSexuals can be Given this Disease in The Same way that People can be Acclimated to Violence or Promiscuous Sexual behaviours through Popular Music, Comix, Teen or Celebrity Magazines, Films & TV. 

Every Use of The Colors Purple, Violet, Pink, Teal, Sunflower, Grass or Orange in Advertising is Sited as Proof of This Insidious Program. 

Any Ad that features two men or two women in The ad is Proof. 

Any Ad with A Single Adult and Children is Proof.

Alcohol or Cigarette Ads with attractive or young looking People is Proof.

Any Fashion Trend is Proof of Homosexuality.

Attractive Food is Universally Compared to Fellatio or Cunnilingus. 

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The Time Traveling Machine

i’ve started this idea ‘elsewhere’; But i can’t seem to find it ( ?

What if :

What if some Engineers & Physicists working at Area 51, or Area 52 or Area 7, came across an interesting effect while tinkering around in their R&D Department.

This effect was kind of like Deja vu, but occurred outside a subjective psychological environment. That is; It could be empirically measured and quantified.

This effect may very well look like Time Travel !

As they continued to play around with it, They set up a Receiving Box which would gather information from The Future. After setting it up; It immediately began registering photons & particles from unknown sources. That is; These photons and neutrons would spontaneously appear in The Box without any mechanism to account for where they were coming from.

They then created a Transmission Device; Which would sent their own Photons to The Receiving Box, and sure enough; Whenever they would send a few thousand photons through The Transmission Device; A higher than expected number of photons would appear in The Receiving Box. It was all very statistical, But they were sure they were on to something. They then funded this Experiment to The Tune of Several Millions of Dollars and were convinced after a time that they could reliably send neutrons, protons & Entire Hydrogen & Lithium Atoms through to The Receiving Box. Actual Information was somewhat less certain; But Messages of a Sort were sent which produced sufficiently ambiguous results that this only reassured them that they were on to something. 

But they needed more expensive Equipment and more power. These additional expenditures would come to several billion dollars.

So they tried to obtain these funds through The regular channels, but The committee members were unconvinced that they could build a viable Time Machine to either look into The Future or Past, Never mind, Send anyone or Anything through time.

So The Administrators at this Area (x thought of an alternative Plan. 

They would either ( or Both ) fake a Moon Landing or Start a War on Terror, Plus Invade Multiple Foreign Nations & then Divert The Funding for these Projects to their own Time Travel Research. 

One ‘Rational’ for all this would be that they were sure that after properly funding The Time Machine Project, they could have a viable Time Machine in as little as 10 years, then go back in time and Undo The War on Terror, Restoring The Constitution, and Not Invading all these foreign countries, AND retain The Time Machine, Creating something of a Chronological Paradox, which didn’t seem to bother them at all.

But.

Unfortunately; After working on their Time Machine for 50 years; They begrudgingly eventually admitted that The Original Effect was The Result of Some Simple ’Tunneling’ Effect, and all subsequent measurements were grossly misinterpreted. 

There was No Time Traveling Effect.

There would be No Time Machine.

And The War on Terror persists, Shredding The Constitution more & more as it cascades out of control.

- -

In actual fact; Billions of Dollars that have been poured into The Wars in Afganistan & Iraq, Plus The War on Terror in General have been Misplaced;

And if The Moon Landings were Faked; This Hoax would have been substantially cheaper than A Real Group of Missions to The Moon.

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Military Films

This derives from a General Thesis of : How to Introduce a Hoax in Such & Such A Way So as to Insulate The Hoaxsters from Its Introduction to The Popular Media Outlet(s.

This Particular Idea is Envisioned as Producing A Series of ‘Military Films’, All of which are 16_mm in something like 10, 15 or 20_minute Reels.

They are all bundled into a Box with ‘Military Documents’ Hand-Books & Memorabilia, Which is then sold at A Yard Sale Held by an Middle Aged Woman who has cleaned out her GrandFather’s house after he Died; for $20 or so.

Much of what is in The Box is Entirely Authentic, Dating from The 1950s & 60s.

Included along with these ‘Real’ Items are A Series of Films, Some of Which are Labeled and Sealed as SECRET or TOP SECRET; CLASSIFIED or CONFIDENTIAL, PRIVATE or DEPARTMENT SECTION (x) ONLY.

Each Film Starts off with A Musical Interlude Then Its Classification Rating And Who is Eligible to View It. What to do if you Inadvertently View The Film. 

Then a Military Officer Introduces The Film and Proceeds to Use A Blackboard or Prepared Artwork to Assist in Their Live Demonstration(s.

Then The Film Ends with Credits & More Classification Protocols, How to Store The Film and Keep it Secure. / Please Rewind This Film as A Courtesy to Your Fellow Soldiers.

Amoung The Films:

How to Masturbate : For Men : Boot Camp Introduction Film

How to Masturbate : For Women : Boot Camp Introduction Film

How to Use a Condom

How to Practice Good Hygiene with Prostitutes

How to Check a Prostitute for Weapons that May be Hidden in Body Cavities

How to Obtain Information from A Captured Prisoner

  Series : 

    Use of Electrodes on The Prisoners Genitals

    Use of Common Kitchen Utensils 

    Use of Power Tools

    Use of Water 

    Use of Twisting or Pulling of Limbs

    Use of Cord, Rope or Wire

    Use of Animals

    Use of Psychological Domination

    Use of Companions or Family Members of The Captured Prisoner

How to Effectively & Silently Kill Your Enemy

  Series :

    Use of An IcePick

    Use of A Knife

    Use of A Blunt Object / Rock, Hammer or Club

    Use of Electricity

    Use of Rope, Cord or Wire

    Use of Bare Hands, Feet or Body Weight

    Use of Blanket, Plastic Bag or Wet Sheet

    Use of A Pen, Pencil or Drinking Straw

      All of these films use Actual Prisoners, Criminals or Hobos that are then Tortured or Murdered on Screen. 

Psychological Preparation for Murdering An Enemy or NonCombatant in Cold Blood

  It may be Necessary to Periodically Murder a Civilian ‘Witness’ to Protect The Integrity of A Mission. 

    How to Murder An Attractive Woman

    How to Murder A Young Girl or Boy

    How to Murder A Child

    How to Murder An Elderly or Infirm Man or Woman

    How to Murder A NonCombatant Pleading for Mercy

    How to Murder A Crying Baby

    How to Kill A Dog

      As with The Previous Series’ ; Actual Prisoners, Criminals, Hobos, Stray Animals or Orphans are Murdered on Screen.

A Crashed Alien Craft is Examined

An Alien ( Extraterrestrial ) in Autopsied

An Alien ( Extraterrestrial ) is Examined and Communication is Attempted

Alien ( Extraterrestrial ) Technology is Examined

Alien ( Extraterrestrial ) Weapon is Used on Prisoners 

Russian Spy Devices are Examined

How to Plant Surveillance Equipment 

How to Defend Yourself Against :

  Series :

    Assailant with a Knife, Screw Driver or Sword

    Assailant with a Club, Hammer or Fire Poker

    Assailant with a Gun

    Assailant with a Rifle 

    Assailant with a Rope, Cord or Wire

    Assailant Employing Any Number of The Martial Arts

    Assailants with Multiple Weapons 

    Assailant Attempting to Push you Out a Window

    Assailant Wrestling with You In The Vicinity of Wild Animals

How to Survive a Deadly Situation

  Series :

    How to Escape being Locked in The Trunk of A Car

    How to Escape from Being Lead to A Mass Grave by Numerous Enemies with Rifles

    How to Escape from An Open Pit with Wild Animals

    How to Survive from Being Pushed from An Airplane without a Parachute.

    How to Survive Being Thoroughly Bound & Thrown into Deep Water 

    How to Survive Being Lead to A Firing Squad

    How to Escape Any High Security Prison

    How to Survive Being Thoroughly Bound and Dragged Behind a Vehicle

    How to Endure The Pit of Eternal Damnation

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Controlling or Subduing Paparazzi

Find a Real ( but minor ? ) Celebrity that wants to Drop Out.

Then Arrange with The Local Police of some Small Town to Cooperate ( For The Greater Good ) In The Murder of A Paparazzi by The Celebrity. The Paparazzi is never heard of again, and The Celebrity is reported to have either been sentenced to Life in Prison or Commits Suicide.

Then a month or so later, Another ‘Celebrity’ murders another Paparazzi.

And so on. Repeat until desire effect is obtained.

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Circumventing Laws to Outlaw Gay Marriage

Why is The Government in The Marriage Business Anyways?

What Advantages are there to Being Married, Legally; 

And can A Couple of Indeterminate Sexual Identity obtain those same Advantages by some other Means?

- - 

Might it be ‘Curious’ if The Gay Community simply sidestepped The Marriage Issue by Creating its own ‘Kwanzaa’ Version of Marriage !

And by this; i mean; A Completely Alternative & Arguably Superiour ‘Joining’ of Committed Souls to take possession of this Sanctity. 

Like Blacks stealing The Confederate Flag and making it Synonymous with their own Heritage. 

This New Ceremony would be Far More ‘Ceremonial’ than Conventional Marriages, Casting The Anachronistic Marriage into a Feeble Shadow that Heterosexual Couples have to endure as Second Class Citizens of Soul Binding ( ! )

i just hate The Idea of Gay Marriages settling for weak descriptions of their Fusion, such as; Civil Union or some such.

It needs an Entirely New Name : 

Such as : 

A Ptionturentio Liturgy 

The Ressiesse Fusion

A Ountconsi Melding

The Holy Xche Synthesis

A Sacred Deaem Coalescence

Once established; The Couples and An Established Movement, Orchestrated with Legal Council, would form legal or QuasiLegal Arrangements with Various Institutions, Such as Insurance Companies, Medical Facilities and Such that would Recognize these Unions for Convenience or Profit. While The Union may not be State Sanctioned; Any Arrangements made with These Institutions would include provisions that would make them equitable in every Legal Sense.

Then The Gay Community could initiate Legislation to Recognize The Ressiesse Fusion Rituals & Liturgy, as performed by Recognized, Tax Exempt, Religious Orders so as to Grant such Couples all Additional Cultural Benefits.

If Any other Religious or Political Groups were to Suggest that This Institution is Not Marriage and should Not be Recognized as Such, The Proponents of The Ountconsi Melding would agree completely, and remind their critics that they are proposing an Entirely New Custom or Tradition that is not in any form, in competition with Their Religiously Defended Concept of Marriage.

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False Confession

You’re arrested for some fairly serious crime, such as attacking a women with a knife, perhaps even killing her & her dog. 

During The Police Interrogation; The Lead Investigator accuses you of another somewhat similar crime that was committed several months or years earlier that you may, or may not have had anything to do with.

‘What is it worth to you?’ you ask.

‘What is it worth to us?’

‘Yes; What’s in it for me if I help you clean up a few of your old cases? You obviously have an open & shut case against me regarding this attack you caught me at yesterday, It can only be in my best interest to sell you some commodity that you’re interested in. Solving some of these older cases will be beneficial to you & your department.’

They Bite !

The Police pull out several unsolved cases, some that have nothing to do with your M.O. or perhaps even contradict details of your life that make it impossible for you to have committed them.

If you were responsible for this ‘other’ attack; It’s important that you only tell The police details concerning this crime that was in The news, or that  The police themselves have told you about. If you’re sure that such & such a detail was kept secret & they ask you about it, such as some curious shape of The Knife blade or specific location, get it wrong in your statement, & then after The police correct you, change your statement.

For Publicity, so that The Police get The most milage out of these solved cold cases, rather than close all these cases under The table, you manipulate them into insisting on a full blown trial.

During The Trial; It becomes clear that you could not have committed some of The crimes that you have provided signed confessions to. It then comes out that The police were providing you with details for these cold cases to include in your confessions, causing The judge to be forced into throwing not only those cases out, but The one case that you were caught dead to rights in. 

You walk free, having humiliated The Police force, perhaps even getting many of them charged with various crimes themselves. 

For The sake of Prudence; You leave The state & change your name. 

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False Memories for Magick

The idea of False Memories is fairly well understood, 

An Adult may be ‘Implanted’ with Memories that are not at all real, by a trusted psychotherapist or perhaps even ( merely ) a trusted friend or Spouse.

Such memories usually result in great mischief, 

But it might also be possible to replace real traumatic memories with false memories in which a previously traumatic situation was resolved differently.

- - 

What if A Small Child was raised in such a way that they were constantly implanted with False Memories in which they were The focus of Magickal Abilities or Deeply Unexplained Quixotic Phenomena.

The Parents might simply, occasionally, off handedly mention to visitors while The child is tangentially listening of how they’ve recently exhibited magickal phenomena, & suggesting that they are taking after some relatives on The ‘Magickal’ side of The Family!

Initially; The child would refute these stories, but after hearing them a few dozen time, they would begin to ‘Recall’ these stories as Real Experiences that Actually happened to them. 

This phenomena has actually been reported with real children, but with somewhat more benign situations, such as being lost at a shopping mall.

After a Time; The child will begin to believe that they are capable of expressing real magickal phenomena. 

This effect/goal would be greatly supplemented by The parents or ‘Magickal’ relatives routinely performing ‘Magick’ in such contexts that they would not be performing a ‘Trick’; But merely doing some perfectly ordinary task with The help of Magick. 

- - 

Would this child eventually begin to express genuine Magickal Abilities ?

- - 

A Gradation of this, might be with diminished Expectations of merely exhibiting Telekinesis, Telepathy, Clairvoyance or such. 

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Become The Most Famous Serial Killer Ever 

Become The Most Famous Serial Killer Ever, & then; If your ever caught, provide evidence that you’re completely innocent !

What was it that made Jack The Ripper so Famous?

Certainly, Many other killers killed more & More famous victims — 

It was ( ? ) because he Ripped his Victims apart. 

- - 

Find a Collection ( over time ) of People that have died of natural causes, obtain all The necessary documentation of such, & then destroy The ‘official’ records.

Take these corpses to a house somewheres, & then dissect them, rearranging their parts into a recognizable art piece, as opposed to something modern or Abstract Expressionist.

You’d want The Art to be easily recognizable as art. 

Then The Victim & Art is found, Time & again. 

Avoid Capture until you have performed this ritual on several hundred persons throughout The country. 

When you’re caught; you can only be charged with The Desecration of Corpses. 

You might even contact some people at hospices & have them sign ( or provide a video of Them giving you permission to use their bodies in your art project ) a release for your use of their bodies.

All such ‘permissions’ though would have to be kept secret until after you’re caught, or The Thrill & Horror of The Project would be compromised. The pubic & media have to believe that you’re murdering these innocent & otherwise healthy victims. 

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Local Character Imitator

Find &Identify The Persona of A Local Character; That is : Someone from your Local Community that everyone that routinely visits or works in The Downtown Area or Major Parks, Knows ( on Sight ) A Local ( Crazy Man or Woman ) Celebrity that has a very distinctive ‘Look’. 

Then Duplicate that Look to rob local liquor stores & convenience stores that are ‘Out of The Personalities usual ‘Route’ or ’Turf’; So that when The Local News reports The Incidents, Everyone will immediately ‘Know’ who did it. !

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Practical joke 

To be played on your wife, husband, neighbor, coworker or (x.

You obtain a real x-ray of a hand gun & make a cut out of this image with tin foil, then slip it under The lining of their carry on bag, so that it can’t be seen, even if you open The bag & take everything out. It will only appear when x-rayed.

A Variation on this; Is to paint The image on The inside of The lining with invisible paint, that is x-ray opaque, so that it can’t be seen even if The bag is torn apart. 

Alternative to this is other weapons or bombs. 

Or if you’re confident that they’re going to be body scanned; put The image under The lining of their suit. 

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Prognostication Books

Create Several ( Dozens or Hundreds ) of Well Worn, Fully Actualized ‘Published’ books from Decades ago; That include a fair amount of nonsense & also numerous ‘predictions’ of The Future that are remarkably accurate. 

These Predictions may be of The Form; Technological Innovations, Poetry of Future Tragedies, Name Dropping that Suggests Uncanny Synchronicity or Flat out Dreams of Future Events. 

May include predictions made by ‘Aliens’ along with Substantial Details about The Aliens themselves, Including Their Religious Beliefs, Mathematics, Physics & so on; All of which would be ‘Verified’ by The Predictions which are impossibly Accurate.

Then plant them in Libraries, Old Book Stores, Attics with lots of curious gee-gaw that would surely attract additional attention, around The Country or Around The World. 

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Who is Crazy?

i am genuinely ( really ) confused by this question:

Am i The Crazy one, The One ( ? ) crazy person in The World ¹ 

Or Is it that The World is Crazy?

- -

Which would you prefer to believe is true about yourself?

Of course; If The Majority of your opinions & beliefs were shared by The General Population, then this dilemma wouldn’t be applicable.

But in my Case; My Beliefs are Very much The Opposite of The General Population & Established Institutions.

This is further complicated by The Observation that if The World was Crazy; How could it Possibly be so Apparently Functional; And why is my own situation so ‘Agreeable’ ?

If The World were The Crazy Ones; Then This Entire World must necessarily have been The Product of an ‘Arrangement’ of Astonishing Detail & Execution. The most plausible Explanation would then be that this is a Fractional ScreenSaver Reality, 

And my participation is to Observe my Actions & ReActions to This Imposed Purgatory of Madness. 

The Far more ‘Reasonable’ Explanation, That requires far fewer ‘Constraints’ & ‘Imposed Particulars’, Is that i am The Crazy One, but then; This implies, Very Necessarily, that all of my thoughts are ‘IllLogical’ & as i often suspect, Incomprehensible to Others. 

- - 

¹ It is certainly true that there are lots of crazy people in The World, But a HallMark of being crazy, is that they are all crazy in their own way. If indeed, you were to locate a group or Class or localized class or distributed ² Class of people that were all crazy in a very particular way; Like all Aspergerians are ‘odd’ in a particular way; What would that mean? 

² If you able to locate a Distributed Class of ‘Crazy’ people that were all Crazy in a Particular Way— That would be very interesting. It might be very easy to explain away an entire Polynesian Island of Crazy Individuals, but if a Particular Class of Crazy people were Distributed all over The World, & they all believed a very particular set of ‘Facts’, One might well be pressed to explain how they all came to believe these things. Further; These people can’t simply belong to a given Religion or somesuch, they would all have to be ‘UnConnected’ to one another by any observable or measurable method.  

This situation is ‘allegedly’ pertinent to Flying Saucer Abductees that are well distributed around The World & all Agree on Specific Details of An Abduction Experience. It might well be that they’re all reading The Same Flying Saucer Literature, but Examination of this Possibility seems to discount it. They are Certainly Not getting these details from The Popular Culture; such as TV or Movies, which get all these details Wrong— & Further; The ‘Genuine’ Abduction Cases Omit Details from The Popular Media Representations of Contact with Extraterrestrials. 

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Taming Wild Animals

There was just a bit on The Radio about The Domestication of Dogs, & to Test The Manner by Which Dogs are Domesticated/Tamed; They decided to Domesticate Foxes, & managed to tame them in only 10 Generations by simply selecting The Foxes, as Adults, that were ‘friendliest’ with Humans.

Could this be used with Other Animals, & using this method, save many of The world ‘endangered’ animals by making them into perfectly viable Pets. 

- - 

i also want to breed Coelacanths down to The size of large goldfish, & allow them to live in ‘low pressure’ water. / Possibly even create a fresh Water Coelacanth ( ? 

- - 

Might it be possible to breed a ’Small’ version of a hammerhead shark ?

- -

Or Fishtank sized Dolphins ? / You’ve got Lions & Tigers The Size of Mice ( Called Mice )! 

So why not Dolphins or Whales that Size of Guinea Pigs. ?

- -

Might it be possible to breed very small humans ?

Would their Intelligence suffer ? 

If you could breed a GI Joe / Barbie sized person & they seemed just as Intelligent as an ‘Average’ person; That would pretty much kill The ‘Bigger Brain’ Theory of Intelligence & suggest that it must be ( ? ) Cerebral Structure, Language Acquisition, Upright Walking, Symbolic Thinking or NeoNatal Reversion that’s responsible for human intelligence & Tool Making. 

- -  

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Real -Oscars- 

Set up a Website & allow a wide spectrum of people to Vote for how likely they think a given film will be popular in 3, 5, 7, 10 or 20 years. When The Voters log in to The Site, they first fill out an extensive questionnaire, & as The years go by; The People that have Voted most Accurately are Quantified as ‘Good Guessers’ & thereafter; The Good Guessers are expected to be able to choose The Best, Most Popular Films for all time.

This Project Anticipates that The Damp Masses, which invariably only watch bad, mediocre or Tepid Films that have been overly promoted, Will not being watching these ‘Old’ films in The Future— So that only ‘Smart’ or ‘Refined’ People will be ‘Rating’ these Older Films; So that These Popular Old Films Really are The Best Ones. 

So that The Good Guessers Class of Predictors ( Which are Never told that they have this ‘Power’ ) will pick The Winners Each year for The Oscars. 

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If it’s not clear from this; The Good Guessers are Not Individual People that are Selected; But a Class of People which have various ( Unexpected or Unpredictable ) Attributes which they all ( Mostly ) Share. There may also be Various Classes of Good Guessers, Each of which are Self Similar within their Class, But quite Disparate from The Other Classes. 

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Murderabilia

Create an extensive body of Gifted ( Genius ) Artwork by a Serial Killer, will full documentation & a Wikipedia Article to support The existence of this Killer. Would include numerous newspaper clippings, News Reels, Scientific Papers of her Unique Psychological Condition, Rare Biographical Books … ( ?

The Reason why She ( ! ) is so little known is that 5 of her victims were Minor Celebrities of The 1940s that had The resources at that time to suppress news stories of Their Gruesome & Ritualistic Murders. 

References to her artwork & life & The murders will be distributed throughout many ‘Inactive’ ( Hacked ) Blogs which are Full & Complete ( Genuine Blogs ) Internet Logs & Diaries of Real People. 

So that 5 or so years after The release of The big Coffee Table book, there will be absolutely No Doubt by Anyone that she was a Real Person & these Murders actually took Place !

Complete Biographical Details of All of her Victims, their Surviving Relatives & ? 

A Song(s Written about her in The 1950s which Sheet music available in many older music Stores throughout The Midwest. Plus a Recording of it on a 45 by a Dead, Yet SemiFamous Musician of that Era.  

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