I may already be dead ?

i've been feeling rather unwell lately; & i suspect that may be close to death ( !!! )

Jim Anderson's sudden Death last August has seriously shaken me, 
& anyone's time may come at any moment ( !!! )

Although — i have been closer to death on several previous occasions; 
so maybe i'm overreacting ( ? ) 

If you are reading this Document; You would have to have known The Outside ( Little Becky ( MacAir ) ) Password, which is “bughead”.
There’s Not much on my Tablets; 
But their Numerical Code is ZTTE. 

If this Document is posted to The Internet; i would allow that The Venn Diagram of People that have access to My MacAir & Read this Blog; are about Zero. 

While great wealth ( ? ) is promised to anyone that can examine it’s contents, & decrypt them with that purpose in mind, This is again; close to Zero. 
This Great Wealth refers to The Monetization of The Ideas held within it — Most of which are already available to anyone with access to My Blog or Flickr. Many of them are also available to anyone that can use a Google Search Engine to find The Contents of my Google Drive, which contains pretty much everything. ( & i’m pretty sure is available to anyone that can find them ( ? ) ) 

Troublesome Rants : http://transamoebae.blogspot.com
Pictoglyphs : https://www.flickr.com/photos/chrstphre 
Flickr Favorites : http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrstphre/favorites/
SoundCloud : https://soundcloud.com/chrstphre-campbell
Scratch Programs : http://scratch.mit.edu/users/tinywanda
SketchUp 3D Warehouse : Chrstphre-Campbell
Issue.com : ChrstphreCampbell
To Access my Google Drive Account Homepage; i think you’d have to log into it through my Account Proper ( ? ) i think ( ? ) just about all of The Links are on my Blog though ( ? ) 
These things have been severely neglected for some time, & i’m only using 17_Gb of The 100_Gb available to me; & now ( !!! ) i don’t have ready access to The Internet ( !!! ) ( ? ) 

The only reason that this device has a password on it, it because of The Stupid ‘KeyChain’ which has all of my Passwords on it, making it very easy for me to access my banking ( Chase ) Accounts & Amazon; but if i ever lost or misplaced this device, it would allow anyone to buy things & empty my meager Savings Account, which would be bad. 
Once inside; The Additional Passwords for everything is in The Principle Internet Folder & more concisely; The Passwords pdf, which is also password protected; 
The Password for it is “bughead” ( !!! ) 
Most of my other PassWords are a little more Secure. 
: ∗ ∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘ ∗ )  𓃲 
If i sensed my death was eminent; i would have unlocked this Device, & getting past that first tier would be effortless. 
: ∗ ∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘ ∗ )  𓃲
i believe that there is an enormous resource of ideas on this device, & if properly utilized; could bring its holder tremendous wealth ( !!! ) 
Why haven’t i used it to this end ( ? )
Because for me; once an idea is formulated, that’s enough. 
( !!! ) 
: ∗ ∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘ ∗ )  𓃲
Things that i honestly believe i have ( originally ) created :

The Cabbage Codes Method & Treatment of The Gematria

5, 7, 9, 11 & 12 Tendrilled Paper Snowflake Instructions
	Although i have since found ‘other’ instructions for 5 & 7 Tendrilled Paper Snowflake Instructions; at The Time that i was interested in this; Around 2010 or so ( ? ) i could barely find any instructions for even a 6 Tendrilled Paper Snowflake. 

My Extensive work with QuaziTiling

Various Treatments of The Cube as The Base of all Polyhedra & Instructions on how to create Prisms to convert a cube into any of them through addition — Such that Toy Blocks made of Wood & held together with Magnets would be a commercial option.

Various Other Examinations in Flickr Arithmancy

My Work with Fractional Propositional Logic, which i did Not invent; ( but found in a very old issue of Scientific American ( i think — i have Not been able to re-find it ( !!! ) ) ) 
	But i did fix their ( The Original Author’s ) Mistake with The Formulation of IfThen ! 
	i find it absolutely incredible that this has been so neglected ( !!! ) 

All of my Doodles ( i don’t really consider any of them actual drawings or paintings ( anymore ) ) & Collages.

All of My MailArt.
Specifically The Spiral ( Mandala Based ) RubberStamp Envelopes.

My Exploration of The StapleBook; of which i have created several dozens of templates for converting a single sheet of paper into  a booklet with anywhere from 4 ( Folded Over ) to a very tiny ( Not Stapleable ! ) 128 Pages ( !!! ) 

All of Work with The Family Genealogical Pictures. 
i have Labeled many of them; Allowing Future Robots to superficially know who these people were ! 

Sadly; about 90% or more, of my Artwork & other scraps of whatever have been thrown away, either by me, or my relatives.

i’m reasonably sure that whoever cleans out my room will throw everything away.

: ∗ ∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘·.·∘ ∗ )  𓃲 
What i found completely astounding when i helped Jim Anderson’s brothers clean out his room, after he died ( very unexpectedly ) was that no one ( except me ) was interested in even turning his computer on ( !!! ) 
When we first entered his room, i didn’t know how to turn on his ( apparently ) home-made computer¹  & Amelia was oddly ‘distracted’ ( Not so very unusual actually ) & wouldn’t help at all. & when his brothers came over The next day; they showed no interest whatsoever in turning it on or taking it with them ( !!! ) 
It was just left out of The Lawn for anyone to collect; & then later ( was i suffering from some kind of Oz Effect which caused my delay ( ? ) ) that night; i was thinking that i should go down & collect The Hard Drive & find someone to ‘Open’ it for me. 
But when i went down to The Front Lawn, it was gone. 

Oh well; Maybe someone is examining it. 

- - -
¹ It was an Open Case of Metal Braces, with his own Circuit Boards arranged on various levels ( Absolutely nothing Commercial here ! ), which were attached to a huge ( 7 foot long ) Curved Display Screen & Standard Keyboard ( !!! ) ( with Cables covering The Floor ) ( !!! ) 


☷ ∙⊙∙⊙ ∙⊙ ∙⊙ ∙⊙ ∙⊙ ∙⊙ ∙⊙ ∙⊙ ∙⊙ ⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅ ⊙∙⊙∙⦿  ☰ 

Cancelling My Colonoscopy !

 

i recently made ( March 26th 2021 ) an appointment to get a Colonoscopy after testing Positive in a routine blood presence in my stools test, after about 10 years of negative results ( even though i routinely find rectal bleeding while pooping ( !!! ) ) 
& then Canceled it on April 6th 2021 after realizing that The Anxiety of waiting for this Procedure had thrown me into an Anxiety Loop — Caused Not by The Procedure itself, but The Peripheral requirements attached to it. If i had more control over these factors, i would gladly submit to this, but The Level of Doctor-Patient communications has been Zero ( !!! ) 
You know… Doctors are supposed to ask you your opinion about things, but they never listen, & then you have to sign a 'Consent' Form, which is ridiculous; because there's no way a lay person ( even a very intelligent one ) could possibly know all The Risks ( or what that even means ) associeated with any of these Procedures ( !!! ) 


Reasons why i don’t think i need a colonoscopy.
i just don’t want to.
Both my sister ( around 10 ) & father around 60 ) were admitted to hospitals for blood in their stools, & nothing was found to be The cause of it in both cases.
i’ve been having very bloody stools at least since The 90’s, seeming without ill effect.
The Colorectal Cancer Risk Factors :
	Being Overweight : Yes
	Not Being Physically Active : Could be.
	Older than 50 : Yes
	A History of Polyps : ( ? ) i have an uncle that is over 90 & has Polyps; He had been a chain smoker & alcoholic for many years.  And A great uncle about that age with something ( ? ) like that. And an Aunt that died of something ( ? ) like that; But she was also a chain smoker & Alcoholic for most of her life & lived to be 80 something. Nearly all of my Aunts & Uncles are in their 80’s now, & most are still very healthy; or died of heart disease, after a lifetime of chain smoking. 
	A History of FAP : No
	Race : Low Risk
	Diabetes : No
	Night Shift Work : Could be.
	Previous Cancers : No
		A Diet Rich in Red Meats : No.
	Charring your Meats : No
	Lov Vitamin D : No
	Surgery Foods : No
	Smoking : No
	Alcohol Usage : No
	A History of Inflammatory Bowel Disease : ( ? ) 
- - 
It seems to me that i’m fairly low risk for This; But very high risk for The Anxiety Associated with getting The Test ( !!! ) & Anxiety is The Principle cause of all Diseases ! ( ? ) ( !!! ) 
- -
i think that they’re result of either oily/greasy foods or spicy hot foods, which also cause diarrhea.
i am very sad that i don’t have anyone to ‘check me in’, & that i would have to use ‘Anthony’s’ Driving Service. The Procedure ‘requires’ a general anesthesia, for what may be a 15 minute viewing. ( ? ) & how long will it take me to recover from that, & whatever else i may be suffering from ( ? ) If Anthony drives me home, he’s just going to drop me off on The Sidewalk & drive away, & i’ll be in exactly The Same position as if i took a taxi home or a bus ( with slightly more walking ). How incapacitated will i be ? 
i am ready to die. 
i kept thinking for years & years now; If only i had this & this & this to get something done; Now i have all of those things, & i’m still Not getting anything done.
Everyone in my family has ostracized me & no one even acknowledges my FB posts. 
i don’t have any friends at all. i rarely talk to anyone for months at a time. 
When i was on Medicaid; everything was so easy, but now Medicare is driving me crazy. It’s obviously a huge insurance company scam, & why aren’t there any consumer advocates that realize this ( ? ) 
if i could just get one person to acknowledge that The Cabbage Codes are interesting, or 7 armed paper snowflakes, or my new approach to ASCII Art… ( or quazitilings, or my spiral mailart,  or… )
i am so disappointed in my failure to ever develop my drawing skills. 
i am so annoyed that i haven’t created some more music with garageband. 
i am so frustrated that i don’t speak a good programming language. 
i am so angry that i have dozens of ideas for inventions that i’m Not creating proof of concepts for.
i hate Not being able or willing to talk with anyone. 
i can’t stand being so fat.
i would love to go back to being a street person in hawai`i in The 1980’s ( if i wasn’t so sick all of The Time ( !!! ) ) i think it would have been very interesting if i hadn’t gotten on SSI & my backpack had fallen apart ( as it was nearly unusable at that time ) & then i would have lost everything, & left to wander around naked. ( ? ) ( how long would that have lasted ( ? ) ) 
i am really afraid of getting old. i should be in a group home, Jim should have been in a group home, & he was more functional than i am in many ways. 
People are so dumb. & Recent Social Movements are making them even dumber. Eventually; Things will swing back, but probably Not in a good way.
Google Says that Recovering from General Anesthesia may be as little as 45_minutes or as long as A Day or Several Days, with Confusion & Disorientation lasting much longer. All The Times that i’ve been under GA, i’ve been in a bed at The Hospital for some time afterwards, so it seems kind of crazy that this is being done as an Out Patient Procedure ( !!! ) i just don’t have a support group to take care of me during this unspecified interim ( ? ) 
i’ve been taking care of my teeth for The Last 10 years or so, much better than i have prior to that; when i had this major problem in my upper front left quadrant ( Broken Teeth & Several Teeth Pulled ( !!! ) ) & now after having been ‘good’ for so long, one of them broke apart after being tapped =By The Dentist= ( !!! ) It just makes be think that Things will happen no matter how much i try to intervene ! 
It really seems to me that there should be greater communitcations between The Doctor & Patient regarding The PreColonoscopy Purge; Such that The Patient would have The Option of fasting for 2 or 3 days before The Procedure, instead of The 6 hour purge required. & The Formula should be concocted that isn’t so universally perceived as vile. that’s just sadistic. 
It’s putting me into an anxiety loop, with all of these things churning around & around in my head, making me very ill. 
- - -
Reasons why i should.
i’ve already obtained The ‘Kit’ which cost $ 125.
Maybe i need it.
i’ve already made The Appointment, but it’s still more than a month away.