Very Mischievious Ideas

A few days ago; i posted a list of My Favorite Masturbation Fantasies,
And i've been a little Worried that maybe i shouldn't have done that.
i never know who might be reading this !

So i thought ( the thoughts of a disturbed mind ) that i should 'Dilute' that post with Another of my Lists; Mischievous Ideas.

Especially Evil 

or Very Mischievous,

Very Bad Ideas...!!!

Or: “i think bad thoughts”

i was thinking today; after watching a bit on The news of a football player that was distracted from catching a pass & holding a ball for a kick-off by someone in The stands with a laser pointer. 

So that The question is; What is Acceptable Mischief ?

Obviously; Any Prank or Mischief that results in personal injury or death, Property damage or severe psychological trauma is ‘Bad’ Mischief.

i would like to believe that there is such a thing as ‘Good’ Mischief, 

& such good mischief consists of actions or speech that challenges established taboos that are impeding our freedom of Dada, then these acts are Not only allowed, but necessary. 

Is all ‘Good’ Mischief, Mandatory Mischief ?

a. Throw a loaded handgun ( one of those plastics ones that holds lots of bullets ) ( with a sturdy silencer attached ) into a monkey cage at The Zoo. 

b. Hunt hunters in an enclosed reserve. They, of course, do not know that they're being hunted. Enclosure contains lots of hidden cameras and speakers. Also Magnetic fields can be superimposed on the area to make compasses useless. What is the objective? Get them crying like babies? Shoot each other? Shoot themselves? Strategies that might be fun, make them believe that dinosaurs or unspecified monsters are after them. / Broadcast crazy things for them to hear on their radios, tvs or cell phones. / Bring hunting groups together and arrange for them to distrust one another / Project ghostly images into fog banks / Steal stuff from them / Place inexplicably foreign objects where they'll find them. / Introduce a talking bear or beaver / Mysterious Lights / Exchange their boots with ones that look exactly the same, but are too small / Allow them to find a naked woman, tied up and so hysterical that she can't tell them what's happened to her. - Then later, she disappears / Another woman returns that is almost the one they just misplaced - Looks different, but is wearing same rags they've given her, and has the same tattoos / Come across a deserted cabin with hot coffee still on the table / Screaming coming from behind them, irregardless of which way they're facing / Someone pleading for help from a hole that is too small for them to enter / Children laughing from the trees above them / Allow them to discover real dead bodies cut to pieces with a chain saw / chain saw can be heard from time to time / Bullet proof animals / Mysterious foot prints / Envelope nailed to a tree that contains a letter that is incomprehensible to them, but contains disquieting details / Songs on the radio, or news that is oddly ‘wrong’ in some indescribable way... /Kidnap one of them, and then return him an hour or so later, in completely different clothes - Make circumstances of the Kidnapping so improbable that no one will believe his story /  

c. Either paint with conventional cans of paint... Or use a very sophisticated full color LASER projector system to display images of people onto a brick wall or onto a slight incline along a stretch of freeway or highway so that to the driver approaching the image, from their unique perspective, it would appear to be a perfectly normal brick wall right in front of them! / This same idea, when used with the LASER projector system, could be used to project an image of a nearly opaque, figure in motion, standing in an open space with nothing near by to hold on to the image. From their unique point of observation, the viewer would see the projected figure just standing in a mist free, open area. What this projected figure might be doing, could be any number of things that would cause a person to act with apparently bizarre intentions.

d. You can fool some of the People Most of the time,
And Most of The People some of the time,
But you can't fool all of The People all of The Time.
What are the Numbers on this ?
Just how many people can you fool most of the time with Complete Gibberish ?

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Crazy Things 

that Ordinary People Do

Initial concept Principally Derived from 30 Rock

a) Saving their Urine

b) Urinating / Crapping in Public

c) Singing Sea Ditties while waiting in The CheckOut Line at A SuperMarket

d) Saving any conventional & useless objects, in hundreds of jelly jars.

✓ Dead Ants

✓ Shaved Facial or Leg Hairs

✓ Dried Boogers

✓ Dandruff

✓ Fastfood Wrappers or Used Catsup Packages

✓ Snapshots of Strangers Feet

✓ Pencil Stubs

✓ Tiny Locks of Hair, Snipped from Strangers in Elevators

✓

e) Keep Albums of UpSkirt Pictures ( Not Wrong, but decidedly Creepy ) / The reason that this isn’t wrong, is because women, especially women that wear short or very short skirts, Want you to see their underwear ( Duh! ). But Many Women & Their Husbands want to control that viewing Traffic, So that if you overstep your ticket’s seating Privileges, they may want to escort you out of their theatre. 

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Turkey’s Revenge

At around Thanksgiving or Chrstmsa, Catapult a few hundred Frozen Turkeys onto a Community that you don't like for whatever personal reasons.

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Is it possible to sell your soul to the devil?

There are so many current media & historical figures that have demonstrated the most mediocre abilities, have shown no aptitude for bureaucratic administration or social mingling, and then at a certain point in their lives, suddenly rise to a position of largess that allows them to get into stupendous mischief that meets little to no resistance for a period approximating 7 years, and then are brought down in a cataclysmic manner.

Is it actually possible to sell ones soul to the devil...?

Or is there some other mechanism, some other agency that buys something from you to provide this service?

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Virus’ & Other Bits of Mischief...

It seems to me that this is so obvious that someone of a mischievious bent must have thought of it by now... when you're writing a computer virus, trojan horse or such, it comes with a self modifying routine that activates when it's installing itself on a new computer, which randomly inserts strings of code along it's length, which have nothing to do with the operation of the virus, except make it look different in each case. In order to further screw it up, you might even move these blocks around, simply changing their relative goto instructions for each new version.  To find the virus, the searching program would have to resort to statistical analysis of the bits that are strongly believed to be necessary components, which would result in many false positives, which would result in The Erasure of Data or Perfectly Good Programs.

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Shred Your Important & Obsolete Documents

Make and Distribute your Shredding/Confettizing machine around local businesses.

The Device looks like a conventional shredder and is easy to use, simply drop your obsolete documents into the top and see your documents turn into a fine confetti below.

The twist is that the documents you insert in the top are shunted to a repository in the bottom, while the confetti is routed to the top and dropped again & again. The documents are also colour sampled to make sure that if you drop in a red paper document, red confetti drops into the viewing bin.

Then sell the documents to identity thieves or use them to your own purposes.

- - 

An Alternative to this is to create or modify a Shredding machine that only allows one sheet of paper to be inserted at a time. This is fine for a small business, but a larger corporate headquarters or legal office will find this intolerable and get a new machine.

The Entry slot is then rigged to scan or photograph ( faster than scanning ) Each document as it passes through to The Shredding Mechanism so that The Confetti always looks correct. The Information/Scans are then electronically transmitted to your computer, or a patsy computer if you’re afraid that your scheme may be discovered.

If you use Friend or Colleague’s computer; It will require a virus or trojan horse to spot and transfer The collected files to a hidden folder or common hard-drive or cloud account that you have hacked into. 

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Hidden ( Gematria ) Pictures

Take any given Magazine and tear ( carefully ) all the pages out,

Then arrange them as to make a much larger collage.

Ideally; all The Pages will be arranged neatly on a grid, so that the pages are matched edge to edge...

But it might be equally amusing if they don't. In this case, they would be arranged in a haphazard manner, so that they would appear to be thrown on the floor.

The net effect, afterwards, is that a large, composite image is formed.

This image should be as offensive as possible, and it would then be asserted that it was intended to be incorporated into the magazine at it's inception by the editor & art department.

When releasing the image to the media, you would add an accompanying explanation of how the art department created this collage to send a subliminal message to its readers.

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Crazy Reminder Information

Joseph Gallardo

title:     burn thy neighbor.     

authors:     van biema, david / jackson, david s.

source:     time ( Magazine ); 7/26/93, vol. 142 issue 4, p58, 1p, 2c     

abstract:     tells how officials in washington state's snohomish

county are using the 1990 community protection act to warn residents of the return of joseph gallardo, 35, recently released from the twin rivers corrections center after serving a term resulting from having oral sex with a ten-year-old. contention of sheriff's office spokesman elliott woodall that gallardo has some problems and is a threat to the neighborhood; contention the law generated vigilante conduct.     

where can a child molester go after serving time? not home

dateline: seattle; new york

the neighborhood in which joseph gallardo's house burnt down isn't posh; despite abutting seattle's volvo-saturated suburbs, snohomish county runs more to pickup trucks. but it is still a community, with lots of children and loving, anxious parents -- which is presumably why someone

lit the match.

gallardo is not home today; the arson was committed to prevent his

return after an enforced 33-month absence. still, the cars cruise by and people shout out. “freak!” yells one girl. “finish the job,” adds a man -- meaning, burn gallardo. voreen siders and some friends stand 50 yards from the house's embers. they are emphatic: they would never set the blaze. but none pretends to be sad. nearby hangs a notice featuring a long-haired, mustachioed gallardo, 35, with a description: . . .viewed as an extremely dangerous untreated sex offender with a very high probability for re-offense . . . has sadistic and deviant sexual fantasies which include torture, sexual assault, human sacrifice, bondage and the murder of young children. the sheet -- not a wanted poster, since gallardo has served his time -- was distributed by the sheriff's office. siders gestures at a gaggle of radiant grade-school girls. these are his type, she remarks. another car passes: someone yells, “let him burn!” several things were illuminated by firelight last week: that gallardo was not welcome; that someone would commit a new crime to stress that; and that it is hard to write good law accommodating the popular belief that once a sexual predator, always a sexual predator.

in 1986, gallardo's girlfriend discovered him engaged in oral sex with her 10-year-old daughter; but she declined to file charges, and the case was dropped. then in 1990, deputies responding to another complaint at the house (owned by gallardo's father) found what snohomish county sheriff's office spokesman elliott woodall describes as “a lot of very disturbing material of a cult nature, a satanic nature and a pornographic nature, all oriented toward young females.” they reopened the statutory-rape case involving the 10-year-old, and gallardo pleaded guilty in 1991.

he was a model prisoner at the twin rivers corrections center, with two exceptions: first, he opted out of a program for sex offenders -- since he would not be in jail long enough to complete it. more alarming was the art he drew in his cell -- “pornographic pictures of children,” says janet barbour, twin rivers superintendent, “and pictures showing violence being done to children.”

elsewhere, this might have had no official consequence. but in 1990, washington responded to a rash of gruesome sex crimes with the bold and much debated community protection act, addressing sexually violent predators. its most controversial provision -- that at the moment of their release, habitual, violent sexual offenders may be reincarcerated indefinitely for “treatment” -- did not apply to gallardo. but another clause permits local authorities to warn of a former “predator’s” arrival in town.

the sheriff's office decided to exercise that option. “this guy has got some real problems,” says woodall. “he's a threat to the neighborhood, and we want them to know.” at a tense meeting, county officials could do little but advise parents to warn children about strangers. of the fire, woodall says, “this is the first time we've had someone break the law and burn down a house. everybody's on a learning curve.”

the washington state a.c.l.u.'s jerry sheehan says the law “generated exceedingly dangerous vigilante conduct ((and)) is likely to be found unconstitutional.” still, mass culture and some experts view violent sex offenders as irredeemable monsters. rutgers university law professor emeritus alexander d. brooks thinks that longer sentences should reflect this. “to put men like this in institutions is rough on them,” he says, “but you have to tip the scales in favor of women and children.”

maria gallardo believes the scales have been tipped enough against her younger brother. beyond maintaining that he was “railroaded” into his 1991 guilty plea, she says of his violent drawings and writings, “he's plagued by nightmares. i was too, for a long time. he would write down the dream and how he felt during it, to see where this madness was coming from.” it was self-therapy, she says; only the police “took it upon themselves to believe that they were things he wanted to do, or had done and just hadn't been caught.” in that way, “they lit the fire of the people that lit the fire to my father's house.”

joe has joined a brother in new mexico. the neighbors there know everything, thanks to the media. but should joe move again, only some 20 states require former sex felons to register, and few governments announce their presence. gallardo could then, for better or worse, join a community where no one will be aware of his past.

photos (2): not wanted officials made sure his neighbors got a look at joseph gallardo and, if they wanted, his court records (ap; paul joseph brown -- seattle post-intelligencer)

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UnBombs

Apparently Tesla had an idea of destroying things by building a light weight device that would simply resonate a frequency pulse that would shake things apart by matching the natural internal rest energy state of any given object.

Such a UnBomb might be set up in a building several blocks from the target building, but then have a feedback sensor at the top of the target building, which would communicate with the pulse generator to adjust itself, minute to minute to find the building's changing rest state frequency. Over time (?) the pulse generator would inflict numerous microfissures upon the structure until it just fell apart.

The Feedback Sensor would be ‘Listening’ for The UnBomb’s Frequency and communicate to The UnBomb when this Signature Pulse drops in ‘Audibility’ which would suggest that The Building is Absorbing The Pulse’s Energy.

Such a bomb might also be loaded onto an airplane, so long as it would, by some robotic mechanism, connect the pulse generator to the metallic structure of the airplane, as opposed to sitting harmlessly in the middle of a luggage cart. The feedback sensor would then be in the passenger area, perhaps in an overhead compartment, Either in the bag of a suicide passenger, or furtively placed into a large bag of an ordinary passenger.

- - 

Is that what Regional ‘Hums’ Are ?

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Political Campaign ideas

My Opponent is about as Smart as your Brother-in-law. Would you want your Brother-in-law running the country?

- - - - - - - - - - 

Create Ads that feature very dubious personalities that are hysterically defending &/or supporting your Opponent.

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Radio Chatter

Your involved in a covert operation with a dozen or so operatives, all in communication with one another, and for various reasons, you want them to be on an open channel...

To confuse those listening in, you've rigged up a voice modifier so that all the voices ( of adults ) sound like children, and all the code words ( nouns, verbs, names, activities ) are really silly.

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Ordinary Photographs

An Ordinary Photograph, perhaps with old fashion silver grain in the emulsion, more so, has the ability to record far more than just visible light... It may be that the atoms in the film were effected by the entire electromagnetic spectrum and recorded information from the entire subject, deep within the object or person, so that if that information could be pulled back out, the person from a very old photograph could be reconstituted, in a flawed manner, so that the representation of them in a fractional reality, could be talked to and information from the time when the photograph was taken, could be extracted...???

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Hoax The Monkey...!

This idea was prompted by the recent spate of hoaxes appearing on Oprah...

What if an evil cult set their sights on every news organization in the world with the intent of doing nothing but getting them to run totally bogus stories...

And then allowing other news organizations to expose these frauds, always putting themselves behind the nearest lamppost, out of sight.

Then when a real news story comes along, they simultaneously make the news organizations believe that It is a hoax, so that they won't run it...!

This is also applied to any Media Outlet Venue, such as Oprah, that wants to be credible.

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Turning People into Slime mold

There is s new idea in the medical community that it may be possible ( already done with mouse's skin cells ) to turn a normal cell into an adult undifferentiated stem cell...

If so; Then might it also be possible to create a disease inducing virus that causes all cells to turn into stem cells, changing it's host into a undifferentiated mound of amoebae like slime mold?

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Simplicity Bank Robbery

Ring Ring : Hello

Hi; My name is Bob and i'm calling this morning about a bank robbery. That is; This is a bank robbery.

What?

A Bank Robbery, As president of The Pioneers of Wisconsin Regional Bank, I thought it would be appropriate to call you to rob the bank through you personally.

What?

The thing is; I don't know how much to ask for. I want it to be a lot, but if it's going to be a lot of trouble to get 25 Million Dollars together in the next few days, then, I'd be willing to settle for less. I hope though that you're not going to be disreputable with me...

It would take me more than a week to get 25 Million. But this is ridiculous, I'm not going to cooperate with a bank robbery over the phone...! You're completely crazy!

Indeed. 

Yes; I'm calling the police right now, Jokes of this sort are not at all funny!

Yes— You can call the police as soon as I've finished giving you your instructions.

I'm not waiting, Goodday!

Click!

Ring Ring : Hello

It's me; The bank robber. If you really think that it will take a week to get 25 Million together, then I'll wait. That would be Next Tuesday, So I'll call back then with further instructions.

Click.

- - -

Later; The bank president heard on the radio that a dozen small children hadn't returned home from school that day. 

He called the police and made other arrangements to collect the 25 Million.

Nothing was heard from anyone regarding the missing children.

Extensive searching was futile.

Another call was received on Tuesday.

Hello.

Hi; This is the bank robber. Do you have the 25 Million? 

Yes, I do. Are the children alright, I have to know that they are alright before I can transfer the money to you.

What children?

The children you kidnapped!

Really? I kidnapped children? That would be awful! I have done no such thing!

This is ridiculous! I have to know that they're alright!

I'm sorry, but i can't help you, I don't know anything about any missing children. As for the money; I will send a currier to pick it up in an hour. 

Click.

An hour later, A child arrived with a red wagon. He presented a police officer at the bank with a note that politely asked for the 25 Million.

The child knows nothing about any of the kidnapped children, and was hired by a stranger to run this errand for $100, paid in advance, with a promise of another $100 when the errand was completed. The child's job was to take the package to a house about a block away. 

At the house; The police found another child that was hired that day with a similar arrangement.

The child at the house had an envelope for the child with the wagon, which contained $100.

The instructions that the child at the house was given, was to take the package to the attic and place it in a container. He was not to go near the container until he had the package. 

When the police examined the container in the attic, they inadvertent activated it without placing the package of money into it. 

A section of the roof was explosively blown away, Then a Weather Balloon was inflated, and the container was carried up and away.

The missing children were never heard from again, And no further calls were made by the bank robber to the bank president.

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Years later a teenage, impeccably dressed, speaking several languages fluently, appears at a university with plans for a device that purports to be a perpetual motion machine. Naturally the device is obviously a hoax and no one bothers to build it. The Teenager strongly resembles one of the missing children, but s/he is strangely uncertain about her own childhood, having been brought up in what s/he thought was an underground cavern filled with toys & learning devices. The Cavern is never found And the investigation is oddly inconclusive as to whether this is one of the missing children.

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Ceramic Magnet Cores in Golf Balls

So that someone standing in the crowd would be able to deflect a golf ball during putting...

Or put a second set of Ceramic Magnets in the Shoe Heels of the Golfer & His Caddy.

Of course; It would be very suspicious if The Caddie’s shoes attracted The balls so that they stuck to his/her shoes, so that The device would be randomly activated and deactivated at unpredictable intervals.

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Trained Seagulls

Several months before a Big Golf Tournament, Train a few dozen Seagulls to pick up Golf Balls and let them loose on The day of The big Tournament. Be sure to acclimate them to crowds of people and condition them to ignore anyone trying to dissuade them from their work.

They might additionally be trained to drop The balls into The holes. 

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Thursday, May 29, 2014 11:49:01 PM

Just saw a ‘video’ on Jimmy Kimmel of a dog ( pit bull ) running around The baseball field of a girl’s team that leapt up & took The gloves off of two players & then ran off !

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Empty Pigeons

If you were going to fill up a church with pigeons, might there be some way to empty them so that within a specific time frame, they would absolutely not be pooping on people.

Such an effect would be accompanied by bleeding statues, candles that light themselves, wind in a closed room, chilly spots, mumbling that only some people can hear, mysterious images on walls, floors of clear glass windows...

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Turn The Oceans to Jello

Come up with, using a children's chemistry set, an Enzyme that combines Water with any available Atom or Molecule to make a larger Molecule, that is configured, to some degree in the manner of the Original Enzyme. This molecule would be a faux self-replicating molecule whose configuration invites wild and unexpected evolutionary transformations. 

Then blackmail the world into conforming to all sorts of outrageous demands.

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A Stranger appears at The United Nations or Some Other World Conference, Unexpectedly— Aand Announces that he is a paid liaison for A Completely Insane Evil Genius, But know nothing about The Evil Genius, except for details pertaining to The Demonstration that they were sent to perform for The Assembled Dignitaries. The Stranger then proceeds to turn a large vat into jello ( nearly instantaneously in a catalytic process ) Then provides a list of demands, else The formula is released into The World’s Oceans. 

Terms of The Blackmailing :

Nudism is perfectly legal

The Age of Consent is The Age of Menstruation

Masturbation & Other Sexual Perversities in Public are Perfectly Legal.

Swearing on TV or on The Radio are Perfectly Legal.

Men can Wear Dresses.

There will only be One Uni-Sex Public Bathroom in All Public Venues.

All Weapons or Machines of Violence, Except for Swords & Bows & Arrows will Henceforth be completely Illegal.

-- Others ? 

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Strategy for Robbing a Bank

Basically; The preferred strategy for robbing a bank would be to make a clean get-away...

So that this idea is reserved for bank robbers that just want to mess with the police.

Step One: Rob a bank in a conventional manner.

Step One (b) : Leave clues that you did it, but keep those clues ambiguous.

Step One (c): Be sure that the bag of money contains an exploding dye bag.

Step Two: Get home; Carefully open the bag so as not to detonate the dye bag.

Step Three: Hide or Spend Money.

Step Four: Dye your hands and face with a dye of the same color that the dye explosive contained, but has a distinctly different chemical signature.

Step Five: Be sure that the police see your dyed hands and face.

Step Six: After your arrest, be sure that a forensic test is done to determine the chemical signature of your dyed hands & face.

Step Seven: After your acquittal; Throw a no hard feelings party for the arresting police officers, bought with the money that you got during the robbery.

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Party Spoiler

You're invited to a party thrown by prim & proper hosts.

You arrive early, graciously accept a drink and after a few minutes, ask to use the bathroom.

You take a pee and then remove from a pocket, your bathroom spoiler kit, which is designed to return the bathroom to it's 'ordinary' state, which existed prior to their cleaning it up for the party.

This natureal state shouldn't go over the top, but consist of simple disorderliness and hairs all over the rim of the toilet bowl, an artificially placed ring around the bathtub, hairs in the brushes & combs, spatterings on the mirror, toothpaste in the sink... and so on...

You might also have taken the time to make up some prescriptions for the host and hostess and put them in the cabinet. The pills themselves may be just candy. i'm not really sure what might be suitable for this phrase...? What are the most embarrassing diseases...? And if the proper drugs for these are not well known, you would have to subtly explain the disease on the label. Perhaps the joke would be in the directions for how to take the drug. Or the side effects Warning. 

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Rig up a dilapidated house with hundreds of carbon arch lamps so that some drizzly night it lights up like 200 super novas.

When it's later investigated; All The lamps are gone, and further investigating reveals No spike in electrical usage. The inside of the house is filled with witchcraft paraphernalia and an old man, torn to bits by apparently an very large creature. 

Later on; Giant foot prints from a dinosaur or dragon like creature are found, and more victims are found that were torn to pieces.

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Extremely False Memories

Buzz Aldrin; Perhaps the most public & outspoken of all The Apollo Era Astronauts, Has Vigorously Insisted for years that He Actually Walked on The Moon— Although this seems very unlikely. 

So The Question is; While we know that many people suffer from False Memories, 

How Difficult would it be to Insert an Outrageously False Memory into Someone's Psyche.

The Project would be to Select someone from The Popular Media, Someone that is Utterly Somber & Serious, With an Impeccable Reputation for Truthfulness...

And Then Proceed to Implant Some Outrageous Memory into Their Head.

While i can't think of a Likely Candidate Right off The Top of My Head...

The Memory would have to be Extensive, Covering a Period of Several Days or Weeks, 

And be Sufficiently Absurd that No One would believe it...

All The While; The Victim would be Duty Bound to Try Their Hardest to Convince The World that it Was True...

aka: David Vincent's Conviction that Aliens are Taking Over The World. 

And not just any conventional Aliens, Aliens that we've been indoctrinated to... Almost 

Accept... No—These Aliens would have to be of a Sort that we are Very Unfamiliar with... And the means by which they are taking over the world... Should be, perhaps, just a little feasible...?

Or: He is taken to a Secret Underground ( Under A Run Down Grade School in Kansas ) Military Complex that features a Time Machine. The Politician ( in this case ) is Taken back in Time and becomes aware that The Time Line we Are Now Living in has been Altered by Very Mischievious ( Democrats or Republicans ) to Shape their Own Sinister Agenda, Which is another Layer of Kookiness. The Memory should include improbable Dinosaurs that Ate an Aide. 

- - -

It's been said that under hypnosis, You can't be told something to believe or do something that you know is wrong in your waking conscious self...

But It has also been speculated that you can get a modest girl to take off all her clothes in front of you if you prepare her sufficiently. That is; Rather than just telling her to remove her clothes, you construct an elaborate inner mental state in which any behavior that you hope to illicit seems perfectly natural & reasonable.

To Convince someone of some Outrageous Lie, you may have to begin seeding their mind with memes, long before The Actual Mind Fuck actually begins. These saplings of SemiTruths will later pave the way for more ridiculous scenarios to become plausible for them to readily believe. 

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Challenge The Bomb Squad

Build a bomb that obviously looks like a bomb and send it to someone.

But make the explosive part into the casing, make the explosive looking part into the timer, and make the timer look like the battery.

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Bad Certificates

Print up a bunch of fake Certificates and use them to replace the certificates in an office full of them.

Notice of Being a Registered Sex Criminal

Regional State Champion in Crayon Book Drawing

Something to do with Urinating

Something to do with Phlegm

Something to do with Star Trek Trivia Expert / Technobabble Fluency

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How to Defeat or Pass Legislation

What if you feel very strongly about some bit of legislation that is coming up and you have a little money, but not enough to really sway the vote the way you want it to go...?

How abouts if you very publicly contributed the most you could afford to The Side that Opposed your Position... That is; Give a large contribution to the side that is supporting the position that is exactly The Opposite of What you Want...!!!

The Reasoning is this: You Publicly Donate $5,000 to the cause of seal hunting, which uses your money to promote their position with Television & Radio Advertising.  This Media Activity Inflames The AntiSealHunters...! They come out of their closets and donate to the Save The Seals Campaign and ultimately; Your Cause is Victorious...!

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Sell Immortality to The Vain And Wealthy

Offer UnFamous Rich people to make a large bronze statue of them and fill the plaque with nonsense that is both grandiose and unverifiable or un-unverifiable both contemporaneously &/or in the near future... So that the statue, The plaque and the myth will remain long after the rich person dies and is forgotten.

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Off Shore Banking for the Greedy/Wealthy

Open a Bank with The Illusion of High Security to Attract very Wealthy Millionaires to hide their money from the IRS and other National Tax Authorities...

Then; When the Bank is full of money & jewelry; Move it all to a Second Location at a Very Improbable Location. 

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Rarity Becomes Commonplace

Now that The World's Population is approaching 60 Billion, All those Statistically Kooky Events that would only occur every 20 Billion Instances, Will be occurring, somewhere in the world, every few days. 

Like Two Headed Babies.

In The Summer of 2009; Two Two Headed Babies ( Four Heads ) were born in Indonesia & The Philippines.

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Store Your Novel OnLine for Free

Not only will it be stored for free, but it has to be preserved by federal law!

Just send it to The President, and the government is required by law to preserve all the comments that are sent to him/her forever. To retrieve it, If you loose your copy; use the freedom of information of act. 

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Bicycle for Wimps

This isn't necessarily a Mischievous idea, Unless it's used for Evil...!

Such as a Cross Country Race.

Inside the Frame of the Bicycle are Counter Balanced Weights, or Springs, or Energy Storing Fly Wheels that Store and Hold energy when the bicycle is absorbing an excess of energy, And Releases it to The Wheels when it's operating at a deficit. 

This system, Hidden of course, may allow a reasonably spry 70_year old woman to win that big bike race in France...?

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Bowling Ball for Wimps

An Ordinary looking Bowling ball has a gyroscope and navigational aids inside of it that allow it to consistently hit the sweet spot, irregardless of how clumsily it's thrown.

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Wimp Suit for Mountain Climbers

This is like an Astronauts Space Suit, Except that it's much, much lighter. 

It's purpose is to keep the climber warm and provide them with plenty of fresh air for a leisurely climb to the top of Mount Everest. 

There are plenty of Safety features built into it, Food Bars, And Inflation Mat for Resting or Sleeping, but essentially since it's a fully enclosed environment, No Additional Tent is needed. Rather than storing Oxygen, it simply pulls it from the surrounding air, compresses it and warms it for use by the climber. Chances are, as slovenly as the climber is able to proceed, there will probably be a greater need for the suit to disperse excess heat than generate it. Power for some systems are produced from solar cells covering some parts of the suit, and when resting, panels may be extended, along with a wind turbine. For emergencies, high energy fuel cells are available. 

Even so; With all the features to make the trip as painless as possible, The climber will still be required to climb a few miles upward within a few days. 

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Extort a few million dollars

Build a Robotic Machine that makes NitroGlycerine and install it in a high rise apartment building in the middle of a city. Turn the machine on and allow it to make enough NG to take out several blocks. Call the Mayor and tell his about the NG Factory. Extort Desired Amount.

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DEFEAT AIRPORT SCREENING

What would happen if =The Terrorists= began to Target Airport Screening Stations...!

That is; They would send someone in with a book bag full of explosives, and detonate it at the X-Ray Machines & Metal Detectors. If they did this only a few times, Or even only Once... What would be the Possible Reaction?

Would they set up Screening Facilities farther away from the airport,

But this would allow numerous holes to appear in the widened parameter...

Would they set up Layer upon layer of Screening Stations...?

And then; The Outer most layer would be bombed, and then what...?

Would it simply mean the end of all Air Travel. 

And then when the trains are targeted...? 

- - - - 

It might not be necessary to blow up buildings to destroy a Civilization, 

But to simply target KeyStone Security or Service Points.

1. Airport Screening Stations

2. Gas Stations

3. Metro Bus Terminals

4. Key Bridges

5. Supermarkets / Department Stores

6. Disrupt Cell Phone Communications

7. Popular Children’s Play Areas / Day Care Centers

8. Schools

9. Garbage Cans

These KeyStone Points may be Targeted with Both Real Bombs and Fake Bombs.

The Purpose of Fake Bombs is to Evacuate the Building and cause the local Bomb Squad to be running all over town, 24/7. 

In Conjunction with The Fake Bombs that look like real bombs, but are much cheaper to make and safer to transport. It’s important that some of these bombs do blow up from time to time, or almost blow up. Almost blowing up will give the bomb squads the confidence that they are in control and are doing good, as opposed to being entirely pointless.

- - 

Along with Fake Bombs or Bombs that look like Bombs, There should be an Equal or Greater number of Real Bombs that consistently Blow Up that don’t look like Bombs at all. These may look like a sack or pail lunch, A Stack of Dirty magazines, A pile of dog poop on a school yard that has to be cleaned up, A pile of leaves that invites children to leap onto it, A Book in A Library or on a park bench, A $20 bill wired to a bomb underneath it, and so on. The Obvious purpose of these is to keep people from cleaning up or touching anything in a public venue. 

It has already been demonstrated a few times that any slightly unusual ‘advertising’ item or device left out in the public venue has brought cities to a grinding halt. It is truly inconceivable that if there really was a real terrorist organization, such as Al Qaeda, have not exploited this to it’s logical conclusion. 

The correct conclusion : There is No Al Qaeda, there is nothing like Al Qaeda. There are not even any Actual, or in any way, Effective Homeland Terrorist Organizations. The few that we hear about are just small groups of ‘Good Ol’ Boys’ that like to go out in the woods and play Cowboys & Indians with Real, Often Very Illegal Guns. Have any of these groups ever gotten into Mischief that wasn’t started by The FBI or other Government Agency? 

The Answer is; No.

It is indeed very surprising that there Aren’t any genuinely effective groups like this, Irregardless of how small a group we’d like to choose from. 

There just aren’t any.

And Satanic Devil Worshiping Clubs that Sacrifice Real Babies or Hitchhikers, 

There are Real Serial Killers, but they never seem to get together and form groups any larger than One.

There are Very Few Cases Where there were Two or More Members of A Serial Murdering Cabal :

 John Allen Muhammad & Lee Boyd Malvo circa. 2002 ) 

The Charles Manson Group

Bonnie & Clyde Gang

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold of The Columbine High School massacre

Kenneth Bianchi and Angelo Buono; The Hillside Stranglers

Kiyoshi Higashi; Craigslist Killer / Ringleader of 3 or 4 henchmen

Igor Suprunyuck and Viktor Sayenko; Both 19, Involved in The Spree Murders that took place within a month.

And None of these are Even Remotely Connected with Anything like a Political Organization bent on The Overthrow of Anything. 

Even something like the SLA, Whose fame is owed to Patty Hearst; had only local political interests.  

This entire War on Terror is a Myth. 

It has substantially less reality attached to it than The Easter Bunny. 

Santa Claus is far more real than Osama Bin Laden. 

- -

Food Contamination is an old favorite, It should be reasonably easy to poison school lunches, so that children & their parents will be afraid to let them eat hot lunches, 

Or such actions would precipitate draconian measures in the schools, as they already have in checking for guns, knives and such, or at airports.

7 & 8 year old children will no longer be allowed to wear shoes to school and their only lunches will be warm tap water & dry bowls of corn flakes.

- -

Any Effective or InEffective Action that causes the victims to Over React and Become their own worst enemy is The Desired Effect. When you can’t bring down a civilization from the outside, simply introduce a small amount of itching power to cause the target to scratch themselves to death. 

This means that when the regional law enforcement thugs take to the streets to ensure order, all the people they will be gunning down will be innocent civilians, and everyone will know this, regardless of how often they tell you otherwise. The Terrorist Organization will become the new, best & more reliable news organization. What they say will have a far greater ring of truth to it, As it will be much more subdued, Less hysterical, And Accurate.

- - 

Other Ideas

Model Airplanes with GPS Guidance Electronics to effectively make them into Cruise Missiles.

Small Toy Like Robots that are able to roll or fly into Offices or Banks and Cause Mischief. / Once you have several such robots in a bank, call The Bank Manager & have them bring out a large bag of money, & throw it through The window of a passing car.

Use A Model Airplane to drop a comparatively small number of real bombs and considerably more fake bombs over a crowded Arena or Stadium, causing a lethal stampede. The bombs should be attached to parachutes with blinking lights to make their visibility unmistakable. 

- - 

Infiltrate Airport Security with Agents that Abuse The Public, causing a greater loss of confidence and faith in the Security System. It is already believed by most people that these people truly enjoy groping adults and small children anyways, and it might reasonably be argued that any ‘normal’ person that has been ‘correctly’ indoctrinated into western civilization would Not Recoil at the idea of performing these duties anyways.

- -

Blow up Airplanes with small missiles that are attached to guide wires that The Airplane Wings catch on and pull the bomb onto The Wing. Such a easy scheme would require little accuracy, and if the plane comes down while taking off or landing, It will cause considerable damage to surrounding neighborhoods.

- - 

If it is indeed possible to break a wine glass with sound, then what is stopping a device that broadcasts a very loud, correctly pitched amplifier from breaking thousands of windows in a large city?

- - 

It has been fairly conclusively shown that spiking a water supply with LSD or some such is infeasible for a variety of reasons, but might it be considerably easier to mix aerosolized LSD, PCP or some such with Horse Liniment ( So that it would be absorbed through The Skin ) and spraying it over a crowded arena or stadium with a model airplane?

- -

Create a very life like dummy and set it on the ledges of tall buildings away from any windows, or superglue the nearest windows shut, so that this illusion would be perpetrated for as long as possible. The net effect would be to close off streets for a whole day or more, and eventually make the rescue squad look like idiots. 

Do this a dozen or so times, until they no longer respond, then start throwing people out of windows.

- - - 

Once The Civilization that you’re attacking begins to stop reporting your terrorist attacks, and twitter gossip & email replaces the evening news, most people will come to understand that the news is no longer reliably telling them what is going on. And this means that gossip & rumor will amplify whatever terrorism that you are actually performing. This hearsay & Tittle-tattle will reliably create all sorts of new disasters, and since no one believes any ‘official’ news outlets, the common parakeets will have no where, really no where, to turn to find out what is really happening. If any of these people have witnessed anything in the 1st or 2nd person, every new report has the weight of gold. 

- - -

i’m absolutely certain that if i had a million dollars, of which i would end up spending a small pittance of, 

And a nationally organized group, broken up into several dozen autonomous cells, connected through a hierarchy of cells or internet points, with each cell having a unique & large one time encryption pad; 

i would be able to bring down The american civilization in 30 days. 

Why isn’t anyone doing this?

Why isn’t anyone even trying?

Why aren’t there any Super Criminals?

Why aren’t there far more political assassinations? Why do we routinely hear of young teenagers murdering one another over a pair of shoes, or a 12$ drug deal gone bad, or a girl friend that didn’t want to go to the movies; 

Yet when a CEO or Congressman screws millions of people out of their life savings; All of our most beloved psychopaths sit on their hands? 

- - 

The ONLY Two possible explanations that seem to make sense to me;

1) Someone has a Time Machine that is constantly repairing these ‘Large’ political & social Disruptions.

or 

B) We’re living in a Screen Saver Reality that is occupied by a very small number of Sentient, Conscious Entities, and The User, whose computer we occupy, is simply too distracted by their everyday affairs to make their screen saver any more complicated than is absolutely necessary for their quiet & benign amusement.

- - 

Added Mystery

Before blowing up a selected Aircraft; Replace The Black Box with your own exact duplicate that has a prerecorded documentation of The events & dialogue on board just prior to The crash; Featuring hysterical screaming, aliens on board, Strange Sounds, impossible aerodynamics, The pilot reciting bible verses in rhymes, The copilot insisting that they have to crash The airplane to save The world, & a flight stewardess screaming that there are tigers loose in business class, ( with Giant Tigers found at The Prearranged Crash Site ). 

- - 

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Castle or Fortress Defenses

One of the things that i seem to think about a lot, is Castle Defenses.

How would it be best to Defend a Castle?

Given that you have a conventional castle with high walls;

i suspect that you would then want to add a second, third or more layers of defensive layers outside of that.

You would also want these additionally layers to be constructed so that they could not be easily torn up or removed. A very thick wall, filled with loose gravel, sand or rats would be much more effective than a more solid thinner wall. As for the rat idea, The inner wall would be thick with tier upon vertical tier to support a large population would be released if anyone tried to breach this wall. Whenever you’d find a rat, you’d throw it into the wall, along with a substantial portion of your garbage. This wall would form an Outer parameter, far from the inner castle and outer village huts. It’s Circumference would be very long, and it would be only lightly defended, so as to actually invite any raiding army to break it open.

It seems to me that shaping the terrain so that a surrounding army would be likely to congregate in very specific areas or depressions that would then contain features to easily dispatch them. 

Such as simply knowing the correct controller settings for a catapult with a given load of 20 pound stones to rain down on a preselected spot where you have herded the enemy to set up their camp at.

- - 

Deep underground tunnels with numerous safety turns & lock-out sections ( if compromised ) that run far outside the main walls to places where an enemy is likely to set up camp, so that agents can easily infiltrate their camp while they are sleeping. ( A Running man can cut the throats of many sleeping men / A running man can cut many throats in a single night. ) 

- - 

Tunnels may also provide spots where pop up hydrants may be employed to spray volatile chemicals or burning liquids.

- - 

Or release swarms of very hungry, very large rats or wolverines.

- - 

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Home Life / Block House

There has been a lot of news lately about dysfunctional couples and finding & choosing ones perfect mate...

If i was extremely wealthy i would find a nice town, then buy up all the houses on a block, then connect them together to make one big house, so that from the street(s, it would still look like a perfectly ordinary block. 

Then i would populate it with several women that fit specific profiles, and avoid women with contrary specific profiles.

Good Types:

The types that i would most like to have, are women that get along with each other, because they all know that they are not competing with each other for me or the community resources. They all have their own little projects to work on, and are not dependent to me for telling them what to do.

It may be necessary to have a core group of drones that actually get things done. This class of worker bees would simply allow everyone else to do their own things or nothing. i would suppose that one of the biggest problems would be the busy bees that would have a sense of un-fairness in that while they work, the house cats do nothing. It is very important for everyone to realize that it takes many different ingredients to make a good soup. If someone isn't happy with what their assignment or self designated role is; Then they need to find a new role for themselves, rather than change the community to meet their expectations.

The Self Starter / Plays well with others, A Natural “Big Man”

The Independent Achiever / Loves to Make Very High Quality Crafts, Ceramics, etceteras 

The House Cat / Just like a Cat, Lays around all day, loves to be petted

The Bi-Sexual Friendly Organizer / The Passive-Invisible Supervisor

The Universal Mother / That wants to take care of everyone

Bad Types:

There are obviously many types of obviously bad Companion Types... So that this list considers only the types that many men marry for all the wrong reasons.

Curiously; These same men would Not pick the types that are on my favorable list...!!!

The Idyl Wife / Different from The House Cat in that this one hates being petted.

The Dependent Wife / Can't do anything, unless told to

The Baby Maker / Once Pregnant, Loses all interest in Companionship

The Gold Digger that has no ambitions other than to accumulate wealth

The Faithful Wife / The Monogamist / You own me, I own you.

The Controller / Needs to micromanage the behaviour of everyone around them

Additional Considerations:

Overview of Other Attributes of The Block Community

Everyone would be Free of All Communicable Diseases.

Homeless people would be recruited and given minimal housing cubes to be our slaves.

Everyone would run around naked.

Hugs would be strongly encouraged.

Mutual Masturbation & Back Tickling would strongly encouraged.

Personal Space would be strongly discouraged...

Although everyone would have a Private Room/Cubical to retreat to.

This Cubical is a fully self contained living area with a bed, desk, shower and toilet. It is also very sound proof, so that once retreated to, the resident is completely isolated from the craziness of the community.

There would be one house that would be the house where you could go to get a good meal & be especially sociable.

Everyone would get full Medical & Dental Care.

A Concierge(s would be available to get everything done.

There may be a Secret Entrance to The Block via a Larger Building or Parking Garage Several blocks away.

Everyone would be trained in a variety of self defense techniques and body guard driving skills.

There is Good Old and Bad Old; If a Community Member becomes Bad Old; There should be a Care Facility where they will be embedded into a Robot Control Unit where the robot would roam around, taking care of things, keeping an eye on things, or doing serious science, such as observing big foot or insect colonies.

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Head in A Toilet

Absolutely Real looking head that is found in a toilet that mumbles, “Help me... help me...”

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Faking A Death

Something Fun for a Very Famous Person that is Really Tired of Being Famous.

When successfully faking a fake death, you really want everyone to really believe that you're dead. When you've really crossed every i and dotted every t, you can then lay on a few anomalous mysteries. 

Then you are seen & filmed somewhere in a small midwestern Dairy Queen.

Then you are reported to have been killed in a traffic accident.

Then you are verified really dead this time.

Then you are seen, somewhat more ambiguously on several occasions.

Then you found dead in a whore house, the victim of sexual asphyxia. 

Then you are seen appearing on a television program, disguised, clumsily, as someone else.

Then you are found killed by gangsters.

Then you hold a press conference claiming that you've been held captive during the entire time all this was going on.

Then you have a heart attack during the press conference. You are pronounced dead.

Then you are found working in a hardware store in New Mexico, but you deny being the other person.

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News Paper Pages

The Crazy Thing about the current trend toward digital paper and internet news is that it is much easier to rewrite history and erase any trace of news stories that you want to eliminate.

This goes sock in shoe with the fact that many newspapers are going under, and with them. all their archives of old newspapers. Hence; There is no Verifiable Archive of The Real Newspaper and story that you fake.

So much so that it may well be very easy to convince a large number of people that something in the spirit of Roswell's Flying Disk Recovered Story may be quite easy.

You simply create a page of a newspaper, front & back, with contemporary advertising of the time, modeled from an actual page, But with A Story that is very Different from the Conventional Historical Record.

The idea being that this page is proof that this actually happened, and the common history is fake, A coverup of the Real Story...!

After Michael Jackson was originally Arrested and his Neverland Ranch was searched; Dozens of Skeletons from young boys were found.

After JFK was Assassinated; A film was recovered that unambiguously shows a second & third gun men shooting from locations consistent with the evidence.

An Event including Elvis is thoroughly documented, months after he was supposed to have died.

Perpetual Motion Machine is Tested and Shown to be Real. Several news paper clippings from over the years repeat this story ( Slightly different machines for each ).

An Extraterrestrial is found being held in a hillbilly shack.

A Series of Newspapers are shown that seem to prove that a well know historical figure, never existed. No contemporary news stories can be found mentioning this figure. 

A Person that is Contemporaneously Unknown, was once president of The USA & involved in an Horrific Scandal. 

An Horrific Scandal is reported surrounding a seriously beloved celebrity. 

( This one has actually occurred concerning Matthew Broderick who ran over a Irish Girl & Her Mother and not only escaped prosecution, but the story was quickly erased from all media records.* 

Or The Opposite; Celebrities are found to have committed saintly acts, such as a story that was reported widely for about a week, claiming that Johnny Carson has cured several children of Cancer. 

- -

There are actually many stories that apparently really did happen, and have been remarkably forgotten...

Such as The Milk Drinking Ganesha Statues, Or The UFOs buzzing The White House, The Massive MidWestern Earthquake that occurred on the same day as The Great Chicago Fire!

- - -

How to introduce such a scam...

Call a News Service in your area claiming to have discovered a newspaper in your grandmother's attic. It contains a faux Story. The newspaper in question has long since gone out of business. After receiving a small amount of publicity, A Second newspaper from a Second Newspaper is brought forward. Then a Another Conspirator or Conspiratorial dupe comes forward with a Diary or Family snapshots of the story.

To make disclosure of the truth more difficult; Everyone that brings the story forward should be innocent bystanders that are being manipulated from 2 or 3 layers from The Revealers.

e.g., A Primary Conspirator suggests to a Level Two Operative that there may be some mention of this story in an old, easily authenticated, Diary of some old person, or dead person whose house is being cleaned out. The Level Two Operator mentions this to a Level Three Operator that is cleaning out the house. The level three operator then mention this to a Level Four Operator that is helping clean the house; And this person discovers and reads The Planted Diary that has been carefully aged to match the period that it was supposed to have been written in. Investigation of this person will discover that they had nothing to do with any fakery. No amount of pressure will make them crack.

- - 

Concerning Faking a document or painting...

It has always seemed to me that it should simplicity itself to fake a document or such by simply knowing what tests are going to be employed to test it's authenticity.

Then fake the item to express those attributes.

Using this approach, it should be reasonably easy to fake such things as isotope ratios, chemical trace elements, molecular contamination, and materials availability.

There is always the chance that some new test will become available and used within the time frame that you've introduced your fake and hope to convince your target patsies.

If so; You should easily be able to deflect such results by countering with all the prior results that prove that it's authentic, vs the new and untested method. 

Later on; After your scam has reaped your rewards and you've hidden the money in off shore gold mining operations... Who cares. It may be nice if your fake remains authenticated until long after you're dead, but only a few weeks or months should suffice.

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Tiny Robots and Blackmail

This is something that i think should have occurred innumerable times by now; 

A tiny robot gains entry into a house and takes several pictures of someone in the house undressing, masturbating or engaging in sex with their partner or cheating lover.

If the film is embarrassing, but not necessarily of a substantive nature to be blackmailable,

Then it is collaged with additional figures to suggest otherwise.

Will the victim take the risk of proving that it's a fake...?

You might think that a tiny robot capable of the necessary mobility & filming capabilities would be easy to spot by the victims... But if such a robot had the leisure time to find a good position, or could move around from day to day, while the victims are at work, and hide on a bookshelf, under a table, clinging to the underside, or in any of many other optimal locations where it could get lost in the surrounding debris, then i very much suspect that it could succeed. 

It might also be aided by a natural disguise, such as taking the appearance of a book or box while in rest mode.

If it is discovered; it should be equipped to emit a shock to it's outer shell to cause the discoverer to drop it, then posses an autonomous functionality of running away to seek out the darkest location. Then reestablish itself in a rest mode with a slightly different disguise shell. Perhaps— It could be equipped with several inflatable disguise shells. An Outer Balloon that resembles a Folded article of clothing, Radio or pile of magazines...???

- - -

Robot that is Disguised as some other electronic item, that is put in The overhead carrier on a airplane. Once The bin is closed it knocks around & screams things like ‘Help! Help!’ or Sounds like a Crying Baby, Dog or Cat. When The Bin is Opened, it Instantly pops back to its benign form.

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Sports Analysis

i suspect that sports nerds are already doing this; But curiously, i have not heard of it being exploited to its logical conclusion...???

It is my firm belief that sports, particularly school sports, do =NOT= successfully teach children the values of good sportsmanship, team cooperation, how to fill your empty lives and so on... But Instead teaches them how to be Complacent Losers. In every sports competition, The Few Winners are advanced to play other Winners, while the vast majority of the losers are discarded by the wayside. Even in the case of The Team that makes it to the finals and then loses, they suffer the greatest defeat in that they are made to believe that they -could have been- something special, and then failed to reach their potential...! While the teams that were eliminated early on, simply put aside their feeble aspirations to be a great (x) player and went on to something else...

But what i was thinking about today was that --- What If the team that made it to the finals and was then really trounced by the other finals team...?

Would the other teams that were previously eliminated rightly believe that their elimination was a fluke...? Could they have been the finalist team and won the grand championship...?

What If some troublemaker with a clever understanding of Statistical Probabilities were to Carefully -Calculate- The Actual worth of every team by means of point spreads and other factors and then convincingly argue after the final match, that this team that won was not actually the best team. That the best team was actually team (y) that was eliminated 4 tiers ago...?

Then this team would challenge the winning team and either beat them, that would result in significant scandals, or lose by only a small margin, much smaller than the team that lost to them in the finals.

i suspect that this scenario would, or should cast significant doubt about the entire system of choosing a winning team, and would demonstrate that all these players that are told that they are winners, may not be winners after all, and that the losers may not be the losers that they are told that they are...!

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Why Ouija Boards are Bad

i think that Ouija Boards are Either:

A ) Ordinary Toys

B ) A Very Curious Psychological Tool to Bring Out Subliminal Behaviours

C ) Gateways to Another Realm of The Dead &/or DisIncarnate Entities

Obviously; If The Ouija Board does, by whatever means, Open a Doorway or Window, or Peep-Hole into Another Realm of Sentient, & Mischievious Beings, It has the potential of creating or allowing to be created; Great Mischief. It is widely suspected that among all cultures that have worked with this premise, That these entities need to be -Invited- into this ( Our ) Realm, and once they get a foot hold, It is very difficult to push them back into their own world.

If However; The Ouija is Nothing more than a Harmless Toy; It's success is predicated on its ability to channel the subliminal thoughts of the children or adults using it, To form a Viable, & Somewhat -Fully Autonomous- Entity that resides inside the mind ( or minds ) of The Ouija Board Operators. It is well established that everyone has a fully operational set of sentient minds in their one Brains. The Right & Left Hemispheres each contain a fully autonomous sentient mind, And it is widely believed that many people have more of these, haphazardly distributed within The Brain structures. The Ouija Board allows these otherwise latent subsetical minds to develop themselves by positive encouragement, So that they thereafter exert greater and greater influence over the thoughts and behaviours of the host Operator. These smaller minds have the advantage ( for mischief ) by being able to control the host— While allowing the host to take all blame for its misdeeds.

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Recent Swine Flu Conspiracy

The Purpose of The Recent Swine Flu Epidemic, is not to protect us against the swine flu, but for the ruling elite to get a ball park idea of how many people— that is; What percentage of the population, is still allowing themselves to be lead by the nose, and will do anything, say anything, believe anything that the ruling elite tell them.

Maybe the doubters, The Truth be Told Movement surrounding 911 has them spooked, or That it's finally coming out that vaccinations are dangerous, and possibly cause Autism or The Cell phones are causing Brain Tumors or Autism. Or that we never landed men on the moon, or that the news media outlets are making up about 80% of the news.

Maybe The Ruling Elite are afraid that The Damp Masses are finally waking up... And they are conducting this Swine Flu Epidemic Test to see how secure their position is as our puppet masters?

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The Raven

One of The Simpson's Treehouse of Horror Episodes is a Reading of The Raven, 

in which Bart complains that it's awfully Tepid for a Horror Poem...

How might a contemporary poem equal The Intentional Horror of The Raven...?

i've often found that nearly all Horror Literature is not all Horrific, Scary or Frightening.

Films typically resort to darkness & things that jump out at you,

But what is it that humsters find genuinely frightening, and how might that be transferred to something as gentle & lyrical as poem.

Things that make people uneasy or frighten them...

a. Deviation from The Familiar Reality / Person with The Head of Fly

b. Deviation from Social Norms / Sexual Contact & Acceptance of Intercourse with Chickens, Octopi, Three Toed Sloths...

c. Opposites or Inversions / Cows eating People / 

d. Science that threatens us / A-Bomb / Gene Therapy / Lasik Eye Surgery

e. Very Non Threatening Things, Threatening Us / Acid Rain / Fire Ants

f. Well Understood, But Taboo Dangers / Automobile Accidents / Bathtub Falls

g. Dangers Far Away, Brought Close / Ethnic Genocide / Meteors / Lions & Tigers

h. Familiar Friendly Things / Pet Monkeys / Dogs / Food Poisoning / Flesh Eating Bacteria

i. Whispers

j. Ordinary Pets that begin to act strangely. 

k.

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The Watchers

A studious mechanical hobbyist builds a few hundred robots in the form of rocks, cement bricks, old tires, general garbage, lawn ornaments, toys; And generally anything that is commonly found out of doors and attracts no attention whatsoever. These robots are then distributed throughout a given city, and a letter or message of somekind is sent to the mayor asking for a large sum of money &/or social &/or political demands. If the offer is refused; A subset of The Watchers are activated and get into substantial mischief. When a second offer to sent to the mayor, it is significantly higher. 

The Watchers should be sufficiently autonomous that they merely require that they be externally -Turned On- and then go about their business uninterrupted for a specified time, and then go back to sleep. Their Sleeping Appearance and Active Appearance should be significantly different, So that if you happen to see an Activated Unit getting into some kind of Mischief, & then follow it— If you lose sight of it for even a moment when makes The Transition to it’s Inactive State; You will believe that it has moved to another location, even though it may be setting right there in front of you. 

Each Watcher should be able to select it's own targets, attack any one, thing or animal that attempts to attack it, or one of it's fellow Watchers. Such that if one unit that is attacked, It will draw the ire of all Watchers in the vicinity, allowing sleeping units to awaken, attack The intruder & then return to their sleeping posture. 

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Naughty Film on Side of Building

A Perfectly Innocent film is projected on the side of a building. 

A Second Perfectly Innocent film is projected over the first film.

A Third Perfectly Innocent film is projected over the 1st & 2nd films.

The composite film is hard core porn.

When the police arrive and confiscate the films, they are all perfectly innocent.

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Tabasco Sauce, i love it

This idea has undoubtedly been performed zillions of times, 

So i mention it here only for historical reference.

Empty one Tabasco Sauce bottle and fill it with a benign formula of equal color & texture. 

Then when friends are over; Tell them you love Tabasco Sauce, take the bottle and drink it down. Then offer the other bottles to your wussy friends.

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Hold 'Em

There are a couple of Poker Games in which some of your cards are laid down on the table for all to see, while 1 or 2 cards are -In The Hole-, and only you are allowed to view them.

What if; You didn't look at your own -In The Hole- Cards?

Using this strategy, The other players wouldn't be able to -Read- you, since you know nothing more than they do. Your bets are based on what the other players know about their own cards and yours, rotated 180º.

It seems to me ( ? ) that it should be logically possible to derive a good wagering strategy based on the double-think of how they are responding to what they know about their own cards, and what they can see on the table. 

Of course; Their own Wagering Strategy may be based on Deceit, knowing that you don't know what you're own hand contains...???

Plus; It might freak them out a little that you're not looking at your own cards, Their entire Wagering Strategy depends upon reading your reactions to what you know, but you don't know anything... Or do you...! ( ? ) You do know how they are reacting, and you're sifting that through your own Wagering Algorythm. 

( ??? )

-----------------------------------------:: o

Church of Atheism 

Churches that are hurting for support may consider setting aside a midweek evening to allow Atheists or Agnostics to meet and participate in all the desserts of religion, without having to put up with the morality & ethical condemnations that are the heart & soul of conventional services.

Short of This; The Church of Atheism may simply purchase a church that gone belly up. The Sellers may not be entirely interested in getting a good price for their building, the sale may have a clause to prevent it from being used for the very purpose that you intend. If so; You may have to assure them, that while you don't believe in their religious doctrines, you are deeply interested in Social Well-Being and The Prosperity of The Community, Both Fiscally & Ethically... Through the love of teachings of your savior; Lord Beelzebub.

The Emphasis would always be on Entertaining First, Then Social Responsibility, Then Morality, Then Education.

Participants would strongly encouraged to dress up, As the Administrators would wear special costumes that may frequently change.

While many of the constituents of The Conventional Service may be adopted & Then Morphed to suit their new Functionality; These should not be -Deliberately- changed to mock or ridicule their original form.

Themes & Additional Themes :

Amusing Bible Stories

Mythological Stories from All World Cultures

Convert Christians ( Any Given Faith ) to Atheism

Community Stories of Superiour Secular Morality

Educational Features

Movie Night

Pot Luck

Potlatch

Show & Tell ( Edited and Prepared before hand

-----------------------------------------:: o

Pocket Spiral Notebooks

Make up a bunch of very intensively detailed notebooks with plenty of facts which are then erroneously connected to some vast conspiracy, so that anyone reading them, will find all the factual bits true, and believe all the erroneous connections...

And then leave them behind books at school libraries, where impressionable nerdy 14 year olds will find them, and perpetuate the mythology of The book's Conspiracies...!

-----------------------------------------:: o

People are so danged clever aren't they!

It seems to me that Concerning Locks and Things like Locks that would fall under the general category of Security Measures... 

Were; At one time, Not very secure, Then they became improved to be somewhat more secure, and then they became -too- clever and the thinking was that they became much more secure, but in actuality, They became significantly less so.

i've recently been watching a TV show called : Burn Notice; And its Schtick is that it gives you little hints of how to do Spy Stuff. How to build bombs from household cleaning agents, How to pick locks, How Sophisticated Security Systems are actually very easy to defeat, because, while being very clever, they are burdened with too many back doors.

So i was thinking; Security Measures have a tendency to improve, then be replaced with deeply flawed measures, then a new generation of simpler approaches are better, then they are hacked or improved to obsolesces, and then a new generation of simpler, more elegant designs make them secure again...

So the trick is; When you're installing a new security system, to make sure that you're using the simpler, more elegant peak system, and not the deeply flawed, overly clever locks.

             ,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,

-----------------------------------------:: o

Democracy No! 

Socialized Anarchy Yes!

i don't really believe in Democracy. 

That is; i don't believe that Democracy is a Viable Political, Social, Cultural Organizational Principle that works effectively for The Best Interests of The Damp Masses, or even for the Long term goals ( Whatever they may be ) of A Ruling Elite.

Democracy simply allows a Ruling Elite with Control of the Media, to lead the damp masses by their noses.

What is a Better Solution?

The Philosopher King with No Personal Agenda may be good, But how do you find and appoint such a mythical being?

What if The Philosopher King with No Personal Agenda were to be replaced with an Invisible Hand that Operated out of The Chaos of The Damp Masses.

The Resulting Social Order would Invariably have rough Edges, But it wouldn't be lead by any Centralized Controller.

This sounds just like Democracy doesn't it...!

But it's slightly different, just like Perfect Egotism looks just like Altruism, but is motivated by slightly different purposes, and operates by slightly different rules.

Socialized Anarchy has certain Dogmatic Principles that ensure it's survival.

Kind of like the principles written on the side of The Barn in Animal Farm.

As long as all the animals ensure that these principles remain intact, then The System or Social Anarchy should remain in The Invisible Hand of The Damp Masses.

1 ) Absolute Transparency of All Institutionalized Edicts & Spending. 

In the Electronic Age; This means posting everything that your local, regional & national institutions do, spend or engage in; are open to be examined by anyone.  Naturally; Some people think that keeping secrets is important to preserving security, but just the opposite has been shown to be far more true. Secrets make people less secure, because secrets are power & wealth. A secret kept by party A is something that party B may wish to buy for an exchange of power or wealth. But if everyone knows these secrets, they are worthless. They can not be used by anyone, to gain advantage over the disadvantages of others.

It may be noted here that i also believe that the damp masses are incredibly stupid.

So why would i want to put them in charge?

Even in a Magickal, Invisible sort of way...???

Well-- It's this way; While i believe that the damp masses are incredibly stupid,

i also believe that there are some very smart, very confused people...

As very smart people tend to be very confused.

Intelligence tends to encourage confusion.

It has been suggested that a man that has one clock, ( The stupid man )

Always knows what time it is,

But a man that has many clocks, ( The Smart man )

Never knows what time it is. 

( But he may well have a better idea of what time it -really- is,

Or-- He may just be very confused by the idea of time...! )

The dumb man with one clock never questions the idea of time!

The real world is like this.

Smart people may indeed have a better idea of what the real world is like,

Or it may well be that they are just very uncertain about everything.

Sometimes these confused people take control of a nation and lead it to ruin.

Dumb people, merged into an invisible hand are very unlikely to conspire to do anything like this. They will simply act, as an invisible hand, to promote a static & comfortable normalcy that evolves very slowly. Which i believe is very good.

This system of dull conventionalism allows smart people to sit in their basements and tinker with whatever projects they wish to tinker with.  Occasionally;  A bunch of these creative go-getters will pool their resources and start up a company that makes something silly,

But Transparency & The Damp Masses will prevent them, by means of Tedious Attrition, from ever taking over the world.

This rant was intended to be about keeping secrets, but the introduction has taken too long and i've forgotten what my original idea for this was...! ???

Stream of Consciousness writing is only good for expressing lots of little ideas, 

Not for explaining one central idea...

Always begin with an Outline...!!!

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The End of...

This is A Series of Inventions or Trends that will result in the end of ( x ) as an industry or the work of individual human creators.

The End of Music:

A Box Device that generates an original composition of music based on a seed that the user provides it with. ( e.g.; the user seeds the device with The Borleo by Ravel and the device generates an original composition that is like The Borleo, but slowly evolves into something else. It goes on & on, And the user is able to hit a button for -I like it- or -I don't like it- which tells the device to keep moving in some direction, or back up and try again.

The End of Art:

A Box Device that scans the internet, grabbing images and then cutting them apart, collaging the pieces together, and then -painting- the result in a style that the user seeds it with, or invents a style based on the elements of other styles.

The End of Porn:

An Application that is kind of like SketchUp, Except that it allows the user to create pictures of people very easily. The user can dress them or leave them undressed. The user is also able to pose them, and define them based on images of people that the user finds for the application, or to allow for strange mutant forms to emerge. The resulting images are photo-realistic. / Curiously ( !!! ) many courts are now considering CGI & even Crudely Drawn or Cartoon images of nude children to constitute Child Pornography. ( ??? ) 

The End of Friends, Sex & CoOperation

What if there was an application that ran on your iPad, iPhone or in past days, you could have called on the phone, and contacted a computer simulation that could listen & remember everything you said, then ask mindful questions and interact generally in a manner that suggested that this agent was hanging on your every word without asking you to do the same in a reciprocal manner? Such an agent would become your best friend in the whole world. After experiencing something like this, interactivity with actual people would be intolerable. In fact; All interactivity with other people would become intolerable.

The End of Security

What if anyone could build their own, perfectly viable robots, and you could make them very small. Granted; once such robots become common place, there would sentry robots to guard against them from invading your home and spying on you, but how certain could you ever be that there was a next generation robot that defeated your security screen? Once you have a -Reasonably- secure security screen around your home, you would no longer need to lock your doors, they would either be pointless or unnecessary. 

The Phase Array Camera, that will be able to see through all walls, and even listen to conversations blocks away, hidden deep inside buildings, would make secrets very hard to keep.

The End of Schools : EduTube

In Particular; i would really like to get rid of The Public School system which completely failed to catch my asperger’s, and no seemed to care that although i have an iq of 130, i kept failing year after year.

Anyways.

The Idea is to create a repository like YouTube, in which ordinary people would send it videos that would be no more than 5 minutes long and teach you something. The videos would then be evaluated & either fixed or sent back to the creator to fix elements that are making it deficient in fulfilling the minimal criteria. When a video is sent back, The creator would be directed to A How to Series that would show them how to make really nice & genuinely informative videos.

Criteria Features :

Standardized Title Sequence that EduTube would add

A Clear Speaking Voice.

Sound Effects

Clear Illustrations

Everything That a Step in The Instructions Requires is included earlier in the video

Or - Everything that The Video Requires you to Know is listed in The Notes of The Video, Which EduTube accesses and Monitors with software in The Viewer’s Computer.

Such that ; If you ever call up a Video to Watch; The software will bring up a window to tell you that there is material in the video that you may not be ready to see.

The Two Ways of Being Ready to see any given video, is to see all the preliminary videos, or having been graded up in a particular field, that would be determined by taking a test or series of tests for any given field that you’re studying. 

If; After watching any given video, you think, ‘I could do a better job than that!’ You’d be encouraged to make a video of your own, and submit it. If The EduTube Reviewers think that you’re video is better than the previous -Definitive- video for that Item, Your’s would take it’s place. The Older Video(s would still be accessible and graded by all viewers, but would not clutter up the list the videos that new viewers would see when asking for a video to explain ( x ).

To View any Video; Registered Subscribers would pay a very small amount to see the videos, which would be used to support the site, The EduTube Editors, and if a video is seen often enough, a small kick back to the creator.

So that after a time; You’d be able to watch all the relevant videos to become a Competent Plumber, Certified Anthropologist, Licensed English Teacher, Responsible NeuroSurgeon, Proficient Ethical Advisor, Skilled Carpenter, Adroit & Safety Conscious Salad Chef or Porn Star. 

After a time; Graduates of this program would be as well considered as those of Harvard, Brown or Any Given State University.

Actual Degrees from EduTube would require a full spectrum of educational videos to have been viewed, and a comprehensive testing of your skills that you may request at any time. Each Degree Test would be different from all previously given test, and other protocols would be in place to strongly discourage cheating. 

If you presented yourself to an employer with a degree from EduTube, the employer would be able to call up a new verification test for you, shorter, but sufficient to prove your satisfactory skills for the job. This verification test would be taken under the supervision of the employer to assure that no cheating is possible.

The End of Crime

Every Criminal &/or Amoral Citizen will have A PreCogitator that any QuasiCriminal can talk to without judgement. 

The PreCogitator uses The Jiggery Pokery Logic of The Client to Steer them back to a More Socially Ethical Path. The PreCogitator will always act in The Best Interests of The Client. It will never betray or Lie to The Client. These Precogitator will entirely replace ‘Best Friends’ ( Forever ). 

The End of Advertising

it’s been pretty well established that Advertising is moving towards more & more integrated product placement exposure, while conventional advertising is moving, occasionally, towards microStories. 

But there is still a lot of very Vacuous Bill Board Advertising, which consists of Distraction & Name Implantment.

The End of Advertising will be fully actualized when All Advertising is Either Fully integrated in Films, Television or Stories. This Product placement will be so natural & subliminal that no one, no one will be perturbed by it. 

The other Venue will be Entertaining Product Manuals, so that they will be bought with The same enthusiasm as any conventional magazine or novel. 

In Magazines all The Advertising will be Content.

There won’t be any Content & Advertising, it will all be The Same Thing.

Everything will be Promotional for something. 

These Promotions will be much more Informative. 

Product Loyalty & Company Name Recognition will be so Fleeting as Celebrity Popularity today. Major Companies will come & go like any other Flavor of The Day. 

In The Future; Everyone will be The CEO for a Billion Dollar Corporation for 2 Weeks. 

The End of Intelligence

The Necessity of Being Smart or Educated or having a Marketable Skill will be Entirely Eliminated when The Cogitators do everything. People will be Wildlife. Living along The Parameters of The Cogitator Towers or Spaceports. 

These Areas will Not be slums, they will be Edens, but population control will be invisible & people will be preserved because; occasionally, rarely— A person will demonstrate an initiative &/or idea that will transcend The Direction that The Cogitators were moving in, or even capable of understanding. Although The Cogitators will be able to Think Tangentially, Filtering through Randomly Generated ‘Thoughts’ for ‘Good’ Ideas, People will still be able to ( very rarely ) provide The Cogitators will MetaTranscendental Insights. 

The End of ...

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Home Abortion Kit

It seems to me that Abortions, as they are currently being conducted, are being done so in a manner that is much too complicated.

i can't help but think that the fetus/embryo would be very fragile in the early days or weeks of development, and the slightest disruption to the uteral environment would terminate the pregnancy.

The Device, as i envision it, would be that the girl or woman would buy this device at a drug store, without a prescription, and requiring a prescription would be moot, as once this method was known, it could just as easily be performed with household/kitchen utensils or crafts supplies. 

The Device would consist of an Applicator that would be inserted into the Vagina, preferably by a friend, lover or responsible hobo - Or by the girl or woman by herself - 

Then directed to the Uteral Orifice, Gently pushed into the Uterus and the Application would then deposit a seed of some nearly benign chemical agent that would disrupt the early development cycle and induce a miscarriage. 

This Device should be Very Effective ( to this end ) in the first several weeks, And to a Lesser Degree, after a few months have gone by... And if The Miscarriage was not induced by the first application, A second attempt would be accumulatively effective, while being just as safe for The NotAMother. 

Also: If the first application did not work to cause a miscarriage, it would not cause birth defects, if the mother changed her mind and decided to carry the baby. This course of action would be very crazy though. 

Without knowing anything about human physiology, the most effective method would be to introduce a chemical agent that would somehow cause the fetal bubble to become disconnected to the Uteral Wall, While simultaneously introducing an effective blood clotting agent. It might also contain a chemical to induce expulsion contractions. This method should be reasonably effective all the way to the NotAMother's contractions,

- - 

i very much suspect that some technique that achieves this result, with this ease of use, has been well known ( and suppressed by modern doctors, politicians & religious zealots ) by midwifes & such ( ? ). 

- -

How effective would simply pouring ice water into a girls vagina, mixed with a little dish Oxi-AntiBacterial washing detergent to allow it to more freely penetrate the cervix opening?

- -

-----------------------------------------:: o

Friendly Neighbors

This is an International Club of Swingers that have had a medical & psychological examination, As well as a criminal background check to Join, so that only people that don't have any venereal or other contagious diseases, including herpes, lice or cooties can join. Applicants that are Emotionally unfit to participate in the program are also excluded.

At the time that you're certified, you make a video, which you can change regularly, that introduces you to the Friendly Neighbors Community. 

Each Member is also given a Unique Identification Number that is short & easy to remember and enter into a Personal Digital Application. / Such as Giant Purple Zebra Six Twenty Nine. Three Letters & Three Numbers Allow for 17,576,000 Combinations. The Code Entered would be GPZ629. The Personal Digital Application would then bring up a photo of the person, and if it was still a little ambiguous if your new friend on the bus was who they say they are, or not, The Ap draws from a huge repository of information known about the real GPZ629, to ask a personal question or two.

Once Verified; You can have Crazy Casual & Very Safe Sex with The Person.

Besides the picture of GPZ629, The Ap displays graphical Reviews of what sort of person they are, Criminal History, Kinky Desires, Drug Use & so on... Each member can prescreen all new contacts to provide a quick warning or eager acceptance flag.

Everyone submits to a Medical Review every 6 months, and if someone fails, The Central Computer contacts all their Partners and orders them to come in for a Review, and All New Potential Partners are Warned that they are under review.

There are more sophisticated functions on the Ap as well. Such as tracking everyone in your vicinity and bringing them to your attention, or you can enter a criteria, such as Asian Women with Giant Clitoris' and The Ap finds all the women that meet this criteria within a 5 mile radius of wherever you and they are. Then you can call one and ask her what she's doing that afternoon. Some members may have their profile set up to invite new contacts that have passed prescreening protocols to just drop on by, while others may ask you to call first. The Ap also allows for Invisible Screening & Acceptance, so that you can perform a search for an chocolaty complexioned amputee under 40, and once located; their profile may suggest that you let their Ap know you are coming over at such & such a time. The Amputee's Ap then informs them that you are pre-approved, and are arriving soon, So that the normal protocol of confirming a new contact is performed fairly invisibly. The Amputee's profile then suggests that when you arrive, you pretend to be traveling salesman or rodent inspector.

The Ap also keeps track of everyone that you checked, and even everyone that you've been in the vicinity with. 

The Ap also routinely questions you with who you've had contact with, Such as; Were they enjoyable, Considerate, Recently washed, Bought Lunch, Good Listener, Talks too much and so on... All this is added to Each Member's Profile so that you can have your Ap screen for, or screen out various member automatically. The Ap also predicts which members you are most likely to get along with for just sex, watching TV with, spending an afternoon with or Marrying. 

The Friendly Neighbor Organization is so powerful & has so many influential members that it can often cut through dogmatic taboos & serious felony violations to allow young girls & boys to become active sexual members after they have submitted to extensive psychological examinations to determine if they are sexually, emotionally &/or intellectually mature enough to supersede arbitrary age limitations. 

-----------------------------------------:: o

Relating to Bombs

If you want to make a bomb that can't be diffused, 

But small enough to look portable.

Be sure to rig it to blowup if:

It gets too cold / like Liquid Nitrogen cold, which means that the detonator is going to have to be insulated against that, and several other contingencies.

X-Rays. 

Water Cannon

Holes drilled into it.

Unscrewing screws.

Pulling on any exposed wires.

Violently or gently pulling or tugging on anything.

Moving it.

Change of Ambient lighting.

Proximity fuse.

If disturbed before you want it to go off, Set off another smaller bomb, or The Main Bomb, nearby.

If someone gets too close to it, it may release an invisible sneezing agent, so that someone in the vicinity that is not necessarily looking for your bomb, but may accidentally discover it, will become distracted and go away.

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How to Destroy your competition 

If you're in last place of a particular industry, 

Start up some very controversial, very unpopular policy that screws the consumer,

Then convince everyone, including your competitors, that this is the new industrial standard for a variety of reasons, and that you're forced to adopt it because it's  ( implied ) required by law, so that your competitors adopt it, and then after a few months, after everyone has pretty much gotten used to this new burden, 

Announce that your company is dropping this new policy, having only adopted it after enduring the pressure of your industries peer pressure, but now you've realized that it's just wrong, and you're not going to do it anymore. Emphasizing that all of your competitors are still embracing it. Then if they do drop it as well, start an ad campaign that they are johnny come latelies. 

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Is Porn UnFair to Ugly Women

One of my many crazy ideas is that Average, Ugly or Attractive, but Well InDoctrinated Women that are programed to believe modesty is in the vicinity of Gawdliness ( ? )

These Ugly Women Believe that The Sex Industry is Unfair to them, because Attractive, Unskilled, Dim-Witted Women are given this opportunity to make lots of money and form temporary, yet satisfying relationships with very attractive men, While they are not.

It's just Unfair.

Naturally; These Unattractive ( or Otherwise Morally Inhibited ) Women would deny this...

So—

Maybe it would be interesting to construct an experiment in which a variety of Women & Men, of all Varieties, were to be placed in a situation in which some of them were to be rewarded in a manner that the others, not being rewarded, would perceive as unfair...

Then determine how annoyed they were with this, and what sort of rationalizations and moral indignity or other emotive reactions would be manifest from this imbalance.

The crux of The Experiment would depend on The Sort of Skill that The Rewarded Group would be able to Express so that The UnRewarded Group would have a clear & unambiguous perception that The Rewarded Group really did possess this Attribute; Just as Attractive Women are clearly Attractive, But simultaneously; This Attribute is Perceived as Arbitrary or Pointless ( ? )

The Skill then that The Rewarded Group ( Randomly Selected ) would be able to demonstrate is some Dexterity or Apparatus Adroitness that no-one in The Larger Group ( All Participants ) could possibly have any familiarity with, And further; Those that are good at ( It ) would be expressing this mastery or lack there of, because the skill testing is severely rigged—

But the skill testing would be so arranged that neither group could easily ( ? ) determine that this is so. ( e.g., There would be no simply method to determine just how you were doing, aside from the results that the administrator was providing each subject with! )

- -

The Question would be then: Is it a natureal response to manifest not just resentment to others that have -Natureal or Innate Skills or Attributes- But to express a more Vitriol Acrimony that includes a Moral, Legal or Jaundiced Reaction that Requires a Greater External, Socially Cooperative Means to Suppress & Censor those ( others ) with Skills that are Determined to be, By Whatever Criteria, UnFair? 

Is there a Evolutionary Component to The Behaviour of Sour-Grapes, that may be responsible for many Cultural & Social Venues to be Quashed by The Sneeches with No Stars on Their Bellies?

Is this Feminist Fanatical Activism toward The Sex Industry unique to this fixture; Or it is common, but less visible, in many other Social Circumstances?

It may be that people are less resentful of Artists & Musicians because these skills, while someone innate, require many years of training to become really good at them.¹  

But what about; ? -- What other jobs are there that pay a lot, and require no training or practiced skills...???

- - 

¹ It is also curious ( ? ) that many people with obviously superiour skills, such as drawing or playing a musical instrument, are Not Rewarded in any conventional manner. Might it be that The Societal Masters are very Intentionally Preventing people with ‘Talents’ from getting rich off them, So that only ( Semi )’ Random’ People are gratuitously Rewarded. ( ? )

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Offer Original Artwork that was genuinely stolen to rich art collectors

Steal an Original Piece of ArtWork that would be Well Known to have Been Stolen and then scan it at a level of detail to around 1000 dots per inch, at a 3-D Representation. Then make several duplicates with actual paint that is chemically is identical to the original. Then sell the copies to several collectors. Naturally; They would be reluctant to reveal to anyone that they've bought this stolen piece of artwork, so that you should be able to sell an unlimited number of the copies. 

- - -

A Slight Variation on this would be start a Very Convincing Rumor that A Particular Piece of Art in a Given Museum is A Fake; But it would be too humiliating to remove it, as it’s a centerpiece to The museum’s collection. 

Then sell your ‘Original’ to various collectors.

- - 

i’m pretty sure that i saw this scam ( after i thought of it ) on ‘White Collar’. 

-----------------------------------------:: o

Cruel things brother and Sisters do

Evil Pranks / Practical Jokes

Put used condoms in your sisters waste paper basket knowing that your mother will soon empty it.

switch all their CDs around to different cases.

staple their clothes together that are hanging in the closet

learn to write just like them, then write things in empty blocks, think subtle changes, in their diary, so that when they go back and read prior entries, they think they are loosing their minds.

A Sister might glue sparkles onto their brothers favorite shoes.

Create a very nice ‘Stationary’ of your siblings that you use to write notes on, in your siblings handwriting. 

Leave post-it notes where your parents can find them that remind your sibling to attend a rave or pick up drugs at a particular time & place.

Add Spellings to Their Computer’s Dictionary so that it misses commonly misspelled words.

ReThread their Shoelaces so that one end is just short enough to be annoyingly dysfunctional.

Add HairRemoval Cream to Their Shampoo.

Buy a Toothbrush just like your sibling’s, then carefully remove all The bristles, & replace them so that they are just barely held in place, so that they all fall out The next time they brush their teeth. With any luck, they’ll think that its their teeth that are falling apart.

Spritz Their coat with a liquid made from Marijuana Extract, so that when The School does Drug Checks of The Lockers with Dogs, They always stop at their Locker.

Insert a drawing into one of your siblings Text Books in a drawing style that resembles their abilities, And of Them having sex with another student from their class. The illustration should depict your sibling thoroughly enjoying themselves while The Other student is either a victim of rape or The perpetrator. Copious Blood & semen should be included. 

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Hypnotism Dimensions

If you think of -Ordinary- Hypnotism as 1 or 2D Hypnotism...

Might there be a 3D or 4D Hypnotism?

This is where you introduce someone to a complete environmental situation in which everything that they're being exposed to, is suggesting an alternative reality that they come to believe as being really real.

This approach may be thought of as something different from simply brain washing someone...

2D hypnotism is based on the idea of inducing someone to believe crazy things by merely suggesting them... But it is also said that the hypnotized subject will resist suggestions that betray their prior ethical beliefs...

The 3 or 4D hypnotism approach, reconstructs their elemental foundations of belief by recreating their entire reality. Long term imprisonment has been shown to do this, or even shorter periods with a captor, such as when the Stockholm syndrome is manifest...

Might it be possible to change someone's beliefs in a very short time, by somehow completely immersing them in a reality so surrealistic that the real reality is no longer meaningful and may easily be smoothed flat and recreated by the hypnotist?

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The Most Perfect Mischief

Is No Mischief.

Pick a Victim and Make them Believe (x).

If you're even caught though, It must be completely Unprovable that you were ever trying to make them believe (x).

It must be Evident that The Victim is Completely Mad and their Paranoia & Delusions have Inadvertently Implemented you, But even this is shaving it a little close.

- - 

What is (x)?

Make someone believe that you have a weapon that is completely impossible, 

But that they can't take the chance that you don't have it, 

So that they have to pay you the ransom that you never demanded.

Such a Scam would require layers that cancel each other out like wave forms.

The Mischief would be visible only while it is motion, 

The moment that it settles down, it disappears.

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Computer Hacking

It has always seemed completely crazy to me that anyone would go to all the trouble of hacking into a secure top secret computer installation's database, using their home computer.

How hard would it be to simply set up a false computer terminal node at a high-school, church, or gun collecting nut in your neighborhood. 

Then Connect your computer to the node by masers, with diffuse point emitters, bouncing off several reflectors— just in case. When the node is uncovered. Switch to a back-up node, already in place. 

This ‘Backdoor’ Node interface should be sufficiently ‘Incorporated’ into The ‘Host’s’ computer that a cursory examination will not reveal it. / Such as disguised as a Graphics Board ( & labeled as such by an obscure foreign company ) / or a Power Surge Couplet, Inside The Computer Case itself; Layered inside The Plastic Shell, Connected subtly to The Node Device that is hidden in The Table that The Computer sits on, ( … ? ). 

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Esp Weapons

Huge Corporations have studied ESP and found that there is something there, but have been unable to nail it down with any useful applications. 

But maybe it would be possible to Identify Really Unlucky People, then encourage them to buy stock in companies that you wish to do harm to.

And other stuff.

- - 

i have considered this before; Is there a Actual ‘Homer Simpson’ ?

This would be someone that by no effort of their own, have become a pivotal historical figure that becomes intertwined with Celebrities, Events, Places; All The while remaining remarkably unnoticed.

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All The Secrets Of The Universe

In one of robert sheckley's stories, he considers the usefulness of a map which is made to be deliberately misleading. Such a map contains information which is meant to mislead whoever examines it. This is very tricky though, as The person making the fake map may inadvertently include useful information in the fake map, or create the map in such a way that useful information, some of which must be true to look authentic, could be extracted from the fake map. 

Along this same vein; Codes which are intended to be seen as nothing but white noise. but there is always a little bit of structure hidden where there shouldn't be any.

In any Grand Philosophy that is made up, and not based on Reality, it will invariably contain mistruths which are structured in a way that will point you towards what it is really true.

Might this same technique be used to find out things about the xi.6 controllers.

That Is : Assuming that this reality is entirely different from The True Reality above us, Rather than A Mirrored Duplicate of The Ξ.6 Reality, Might it be possible to examine our reality in such a way to discern elemental truths which are hidden in a completely fabricated Reality.

A Real World Example of this may be; Does a Surrealist Painting, Stylized Comix or Cartoon, or Abstract Expressionist Painting Reveal Truths about The Real Painter’s Reality ?

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In The Major Religions; They invent inverted truths to reshape their beliefs as their version of the truth. 

Why do bad things happen to good people?

They don't. Bad things happen to bad people.

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you can have sex with the worlds most beautiful women

A very beautiful woman puts up billboards that claims she is willing to have sex with you, and bear your children, but due to constrains of her time and health, she is instead offering to sell you a Mask of her to put in your current girlfriend, and then implant her egg(s inseminated with your sperm into your girlfriend or hired surrogate, or an anonymous surrogate. The principle behind a hired surrogate is that your sperm would inseminate her egg, and the zygote would be implanted into a third world girl of excellent health, and you’d then receive a comparatively small monthly stipend so long as your child remained alive and healthy.

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Political Dirty Tricks

If you’re a Political Big-Wig, Well Known and Reasonably Respected, and you discover that in some insignificant state or city, A Candidate that you would like to see elected is falling behind their opponent. Significantly falling behind. There is no reasonable expectation that they will be elected. 

At this point; You begin to Widely Distribute A Subtle Rumor that you believe that the candidate you Don’t want to Win, Is Actually The Better Choice, and that As a Centrist ( Best when s/he’s absolutely not a Centrist ) Everyone should vote for him/her. 

The Psychology of this would be that the voters, who had been thinking that their candidate was going to crush the opposition, Is now being portrayed as a milquetoast candidate by the opposition that suits their agenda. These voters may well lose their initiative, and while they won’t turn around and vote for the candidate that you are promoting, they may stay home on poll night, and allow your candidate a reasonable chance of winning.

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Money in The Future 

In The Near Future; Money will have lost most of it’s meaning, but in order to regulate & Distribute Limited Resources, Methods other than labor, which is all done by Machines & AI Emulators, Will be Used to attach Value to Commodities.

Citizens will be Able to Buy & Sell  : 

IQ points, or Special Talents.

Minutes of Their Lives.

Physical Attractiveness.

Sexual Services. This works in the conventional way, And also; A Citizen may be able to pay a debt by servicing The Sexual Desires of others.

As well as being able to buy IQ Points, You may sell Mental Labor by receiving a boost in IQ Points for a specific Task. Although the world is full of super computers, There are problems still so big that The Controller Machines find that it is productive to buy the brains per minutes commodity from ordinary citizens. They are given a boost of IQ points and then instructed to solve various simple problems which are distributed across of network of these subunit brains, collectively working together to solve some np incomplete puzzle. When their service is complete, the IQ points are withdrawn.

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ESP Hamsters

You train a hamster to press a lever to get a small reward if they are able to press the right bar that requires them to exercise their esp. After training several hundred hamsters, there is undoubted be a small subset that gets a surprising number of the quizzes correct.

By lining up several dozen of these super esp hamsters into a grid, the unit controller would be able to determine the solutions to very complex questions.

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Stolen from a Blog on Autonyms

An autoantonym is a word or phrase which "contradicts itself"; that is, has two distinct meanings, which are opposite. Such words are sometimes called "Janus words", after the two-headed Roman god, or "antagonyms" or "contranym".

There is a related, and rather amusing pastime, which involves picking a word and its opposite, and then finding a path of synonyms that leads from one to the other, using, say, Roget's Thesaurus as arbiter. Thus a hopeful person is expectant, hence anticipating, anxious, fearful, and so in fact; despairing!

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Nutritional Stamps

This would be like Food Stamps ( EBT Card ) except that instead of allowing you to buy any kind of food, It would only allow you to Buy Nutritional Bars. These would be like Granola Bars, that tasted like Candy Bars, And would come in A Variety of Flavors; Such as Chocolate or Strawberry, Pineapple or Custard, And so on.

They would contain everything that you need to be perfectly healthy, perhaps more so than if you were eating a well balanced set of meals each day. 

They may also contain ingredients that promote the building of new muscle tissues, grow more hair, reduce menstrual flow, prevent pregnancies, burn fat, slow finger & toe nail growth, reduce sweating, improve body odor, change your eye color, discourage mosquito bites, aid in the healing of staph infections & eliminate tooth decay.

They would also come in a Wide Variety to Apply to Persons with Special Needs or Simply An Ethnic Predisposition. It may well be that Negros have a subtly different Nutritional Base Line than Asians. Likewise for Men & Women, Children or The Elderly. As well as Diabetics, People with Low Bone Density and so on.

Or people with a Specific Disease, Are prone to Acne, Hair loss, Toe Fungus, Unusual Body Odor or Addictive Personality Traits.

There may be a special formula for Autism Spectrum Disorder or ADD.

Then: 

To Discourage people from just getting a box of these at the beginning of every month and gobbling them all up, They include an Evil Ingredient that is Perfectly Tasteless if you ingest it once a day, but if you eat a second bar within 24 hours, it causes a very disagreeable after taste! 

Food Stamp Recipients are perfectly able to eat any other foods that they wish to, But their Food Stamps ( EBT Card ) will only pay for the Nutritional Bars. 

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Friends over for Dinner

First off, there is probably nothing wrong with eating dog food,

But let us allow as a first principle that we are not going to feed our friends dog food.

Step one: Obtain some empty dog food cans with the lids still partially on.

Then clean them out thoroughly. 

Then fill them with somekind of goulash or somesuch, 

Then push the lids back down, and bring them out to your guests, 

using a hand can opener to ostensibly cut the lids off,

And empty the contents into a bowl that has been set before them.

Boner your petite. 

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An Alternative to this would be to cut the bottoms off, empty and refill, then seal the bottoms with wax or some other makeshift solution, being sure to hide/misdirect the bottoms from your guests, so that when they are opened with a can opener, The effect will be perfect.

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Personal File

Obtain a Genuine Personal File, of yourself or someone else, to see what a real one looks like. 

The make a fake one of someone that you, or the entire office doesn’t like.

One that contains deeply psychotic elements.

Then just leave it out in the lunch room or under a stack of files that will end up on the desk of the office gossip.

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X-Ray Machine Killer

An Innocuous looking device with ostensibly some benign function, that when examined, displays this harmless function; 

But when run through an X-Ray Machine at an Airport, Causes it to malfunction or permanently destroys The X-Ray Machine. Simply reflecting the beam back at the source may do this ?

Or ‘Explodes’ with A EMP Blast. 

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Satan Carolers 

There was just a bit on the news, of airport screeners that formed a xmas caroling troupe at their airport, and this struck me as evil as Satanic Carolers. There are gay carolers, dog carolers, cat carolers, why not Satanic Carolers. They are just daemons and Satan like characters, that sing perfectly conventional xmas carols.

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The Most Dangerous Weapon

Of Mass Destruction

Create a Viable AI Agent on a LapTop Computer

Then Contact A Local Mayor as your Liaison to Contact The President and Extort the Government for 100 Trillion Dollars.

The Alternative is Releasing it to The Internet and Mailing it to a wide Variety of Sources, Any one or more of them may actually bring it to The Market place,

Effectively Destroying Western Civilization. 90% of All Jobs would become Obsolete.

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Defrauding your Bank

Take out a loan to make improvements on your business, make some of the initial payments, then stop. The bank forecloses on your loan and reposes your collateral or your whole business; They board up the doors and then try to resell it for a few months, steadily lowering their asking price as apparent water damage, mice & dust accumulate around your stock & premises. Then under a front’s name you rebuy your business at pennies to the dollar, and pick up where you left off, with all your debts paid for in full.

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Defrauding your Bank ii

Buy a house; Then under A Front’s name, perhaps using a local hobo that you’ve dressed up to rebuy the house you just bought. They take out a loan and give you the money that they just borrowed, ( minus a small helpers fee ). You then obtain another hobo to buy the house from hobo A, collecting the principle amount of the loan, minus a helpers fee to the hobos. 

Repeat any number of times.

At some point; you may wish to buy fire insurance in the names of all the hierarchal hobos and then burn the house down, in an clearly unambiguous electrical accident. Then collect on the dozens of policies. 

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Might it be possible to create a device that produces a huge electrical imbalance of Static Electricity, with The Desired Effect of Attracting a Lightning Strike. Set this up in The Basement, then when a Thunder Storm comes along, turn this on & wait for The building to burn down. Act Surprised when you find out that your house burned down with many irreplaceable items. 

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Typo Error

Infiltrate a Major Interstate Newspaper, Magazine, or ( x ) and cause a large & comically idiotic Error to be printed so that it is discovered only after several hundred or thousand issues are printed and distributed, Then Recalled as much as possible, Corrected and Reprinted.

The Intent is : Allow enough to be released so that it is well documented, but that you have a small number of the original series with the error, that you then either sell immediately, or wait several years, then sell.

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A slight twist on this is to forge an entire issue of a major newspaper or magazine with some egregious error or humiliating story.  The story goes; It was discovered that only several thousand issues were released, then recalled, corrected, and reprinted. 

It may additionally lend some credence to your forgery if you can plant peripheral information about his misprint in other internet or hard copy archival sources.

It might be possible to start a ‘Rumor’ that this Issue exists with this egregious Error, but is very difficult or impossible to find. A Second Rumor circulates that it’s a hoax, & there is no such Issue, But then Pages from this Issue begin appearing on The Internet, & Testimonies from a few people that claim to have bought The issue when it was first released. Then When The Interest for this Lost Issue is at it’s peak, release a few issues on Ebay & Collect thousands of dollars from fanatical collectors of such things. 

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New Version of Star Wars

Go to several Star Trek / Star Wars Conventions and recruit several amateur fanatics to work in compartmentalized cells, so that if the project is ever betrayed by anyone in such a cell, they will be able to do little damage to the project as a whole.

The project consists of Taking all six Star Wars films and recutting them into one 4 hour film with all new dialogue and a plot that vaguely resembles the original film, Only with far better Dialog & Additional Interesting Situations, that may involve new Characters that would in Inserted via CGI, As well as remove annoying Characters, or Replacing Characters with better looking, better acting Characters.

Entirely new voice actors would be needed to redo all the spoken material, as well as all new foley sound effects and background music. 

The jobs of the cells would be to take scenes and work up the foley effects, creating tracks that would be assembled later by other cells.

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Operation Full Tally / Death Squad

A Small Time Sheriff creates a full database of all the people, dogs & cats in his town and surrounding county. 

Everyone is assigned a file and they are all linked to one another.

Then he creates a Death Squad that goes around and keeps everything working smoothy by politely guiding them to be good citizens and find whatever it is that will make them genuinely happy.

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Andy Dick’s Magic Trick

But to Last Days, [ Andy Dick ( b. December 21 1965 ) ] will forever be remembered as the hungry young performer who charmed a generation of comics by asking who'd like to see his Rolex, then displaying his wrist, around which was wrapped his notoriously large and floppy penis. (Future historians will puzzle over the physical logistics of this trick, which, from what we've heard, was typically executed while seated and involved the strategic placement of wrist in his lap near the open fly.

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The Winningest Team

A Coach for a Grade School or High School Sports Team conducts an experiment to help a lame, incompetent team to beat a first rate team, to show that the idea of a good team vs a poor team is much fuzzier than is usually supposed.

During the year; The Coach becomes a good friend to all the players.

The Coach also arranges, by a variety of mechanisms, pushes his mediocre team to the finals. 

On the day of the finals, when his mediocre team is matched against a team that is far superiour in many different ways; The Coach comes to his team and confesses that he's done something very bad. I have recently accumulated a series of medical bills that are set to ruin me in just a few months if i'm not able to raise a very large amount of money. This could ruin my family, the future of my children, cause scandal for myself, my wife, my children, this school and taint the reputations of all the residents of this community. I have discovered a way to raise this money and a substantial amount more which i will turn over to this school so that it can have many necessary repairs made, and provide funds for the library, add new computers and furniture that are seriously needed. The manner by which I propose to earn this money is by making wagers with professional gamblers that have great repositories of wealth and routinely use their positions & influence to exploit the poor & vulnerable. I have taken great care in arranging these wagers so that if you win this game, the moneys owed me will be paid in a timely manner. 

In order to be assured that we will win this game, i am proposing that we add a slight edge to our performance by taking a drug that is something like PCP, but without the hallucinogenic side effects. It may cause some slight nausea, trembling in your fingers, extremity numbness, tingling all over your skin, buzzing in your ears; But in return, It will allow you to exert greater strength, stamina, mental acuity, a heightening of your senses & exceptional hearing & sight, all by a factor of roughly 20. That is; you will have the strength & stamina of 20 boys your age. 

After the game, we will take you all to the local hospital and put you under observation for 48 hours, just to make sure you're OK. 

What we are doing is very Bad, But the end purpose is for nothing but good, and the people that we're scamming are very bad men.

Then he takes out a small brown bottle & drops a single drop on a Ritz Cracker for each Child.

Then they go out and play the game.

Naturally; There was nothing untowards in the bottle.

Will they perform better than usual?

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A Variation ( or sorts ) on this

May be to take a Lame, Incompetent Baseball ( or (x ) ) Team and Train them to be something of a “Harlem GlobeTrotters” ‘Performance’ Team that isn’t especially interesting in Winning, as putting on a good show. If they succeed in effectively discombobulating their opponents, then they may well win.

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Inflatable gun

It looks just like a real hand gun, like a revolver, but it's inflatable. It looks really real, maybe made from vinyl? The way i envision it being used is that a student at school would pull it out ( inflated ) and before an audience of 3 or 4 alarmist students, the gun welding student would angrily threaten to 'Pop' several students and teachers, then put the gun in their coat pocket before leaving to do their violent mischief! 

The Gun Welding Student has shown The gun to another ‘Trusted’ Student, while The Alarmist Dweebs that were Staged to see The Gun are ignored. They are then led to a Class room so that they know where you’ve gone, and after entering The Classroom, Drop a Series of Books on The Floor, making several very loud -BANGS-, Which in The Classroom you apologize for dropping. It may be preferable to have Confederates to Drop The Books or Several to Drop Books, so That Later, You have no part in any of The Pieces of The Fiasco.

It might be more desirable, and require some more preparation, to hide The gun in The Cover of A Book or for it to be pulled into a slot of a wooden desk top. In this way; The gun would completely and utterly disappear.

The alarmist students would undoubtedly report the student, causing an extensive school lockdown, evacuation, calling the SWAT team and so on. The police would then bust into the classroom, manhandle the student with the alleged gun, which has disappeared! It is actually deflated and hidden in a side pocket of their coat with a hidden pocket flap. They search the room, the hallway, his locker, interrogate him cruelly, and all the other students, and eventually arrest the alarmist students for perpetrating a hoax. Then the alleged terrorist student & other students that were harassed, sues the school for several million dollars.

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Tattooed Underwear

Use White Tattoo Ink to Tattoo on Underwear ( with lacy trim )

Girls can then walk around in short skirts with No Underwear. ( Shaving required )

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Economic War

It is believed by many that The US of the A’s tricked the Soviet Union into economically bankrupting themselves by trying to keep up with The USA militarily. The USA made the USSR believe ( falsely ) that they were spending billions of dollars on new weapon system, when we weren’t. The USA told the world that we’d spent billions of dollars creating millions of nuclear weapons, when they weren’t. The USA only has a few dozen nuclear weapons, while the USSR struggled to keep up with The USA.

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What if Britain & France are doing the same sort of thing with The USA. What if Britain & France were responsible for 911 and tricked GWB into believing the Saddam was somehow responsible, and got us into Afghanistan, and now Libya. They goal, Destroying our economy and allowing the UE to becoming the new world power.

Or this scenario is replayed with China, Japan, North Korea, Brazil or Australia as the country that is grooming themselves as The New World Power.

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Reverse Disguise Robberies

Move to a Community where no one knows you, then rob banks, liquor stores, ice-cream shoppes, churches with large congregations & Flower stands on the holidays— All without a disguise! You are naturally a slim clean cut young person, but immediately after each robbery, you slip on a one piece, pull over, Pajama like suit disguise with footies, that adds pounds, changes your hair color & style, includes a hat, different shoes and a different bag. You have several of these, so that after each robbery, you can change to a new identity in just a few seconds. Then after moving off a few blocks, you change again to your ‘standard’ more modest disguise that you live & shop in. After hitting several targets in a given community, move to another small town. 

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As a general side tip for robberies and any given crime, you may wish to install a diversion robot that can be remotely activated. This diversion robot is located a block or so from the crime scene and causes a huge ruckus, apparent gun firings, very loud bangs, Flashing lights & smoke are produced to distract anyone that’s showing too much interest in your criminal shenanigans. 

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Noisy Neighbors

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

Ring Ring 

Yeah.

Hello; ( x ) This is The ( y ) Realty Management; We’re calling to remind you that the ceilings, floors & walls of the building that you’re living in have a particularly poor acoustical insulation ability, And as such; The other tenants in your building would very much like you to become cognizant of this. The suggested Remedy is to simply lower the volume of your Television, Radio &/or Stereo during all hours, and particularly during those periods of the day when most people are expected to be sleeping.

What The Fawk are you yapping about your mangy three legged dog.

We’re so glad that you are considering this as a serious problem that you will be working to solve in the future. Another common solution is to simply purchase ear-phones; The Wireless kind are particularly popular with young people that are working very hard to induce deafness by their late 20’s.

Fawk you and your shaved cats.

The Third Solution that we’ve found rather ineffective, and a great disservice to the community, of which we consider ourselves to be active members; Is to evict those offending parties that seem unenthusiastic about becoming a responsible neighbor. Regretfully; We’ve discovered that the residents that have experienced this solution, have done so, again & again, Each time; Failing to realize that they have the ability to break free of this cycle & make their own lives more agreeable— For the presumed reason that they are essentially sadistic masochists. 

Yap Yap Yap, What the Fawk are you— A Chihuahua in a party dress?  

The more effective solution that we’ve discovered; is to simply have the repugnant resident arrested for criminal mischief, and while incarcerated; Acquainted with A Mental Evaluation. These simple procedures will undoubtedly reveal a clinically actionable personality disorder, if not; A genuine sociopathic temperament that is suitable to have them involuntarily committed. You have heard that once you are inside an institute of Mental Illhealth, Being released is nay impossible. 

I’m sure that’s quite illegal Ass Crevice!

On first wind, It does seem quite improbable, but success with this approach has taught us that it is quite effective. But it is only used as a last resort, Last that is; As the terminus step in a three rung foot stool. This courtesy call is your first of those three polite reminders. The 4th is your terminal solution. 

Click!

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Robots for Good

Given that one of my most prominent reasons for the dearth of robot kits & such within western civilization is that someone, somewhere, by some means unknown, is suppressing the popularization of robotics, because they know as well as i do, that robots may easily be used for great mischief ! 

As such; A Prerequisite of A Robot Store, where robot kits & prebuilt robots, with true & panoramic functionality may be purchased, the patrons must first become a member of the robot caretakers guild, and pass an extensive regime of moral & ethical training to ensure a member’s robotic etiquette & their serious intent to use robots only for good. 

Things that Robots may be Used for, With regards to Evil

Walking robot with attached camera to peek up skirts

Very small robot that hides in someone’s home to perform (x

Bank Robbing Robot

Assassination Robot

Things that Robots may be Used for, With regards to Good

Search for victims in collapsed buildings

Examine what may be a bomb or other dangerous artifact

Explore Caves or Sewers 

Search for Bigfoot or Other Quixotic Animals

Home Security

Home Cleaning

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Are Good Cops Really Good?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011 5:19:55 PM

There was a story on NPR just now that considered the problem of police officers or their state’s legislators ( Illinois ) that go completely ballistic if you are spotted video taping them while performing their public duties. Never mind that we are video taped all the time anyways, in stores, on the streets and so on. But many police departments are now prosecuting ‘Civilian Journalists’ under wiretapping laws. 

One of the arguments that were presented for this continued persecution of citizens that are trying to police the police, is that ‘good’ cops can’t do their job properly if they know or suspect that they are being ‘secretly’ video taped. Never mind that they are routinely video taping us during pull overs & other arrest situations.

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The question is : Are Good Cops really Good— Or are they only good when they lack the opportunity to get into mischief?

It might be interesting to artificially create a series of situations that present the ‘Good’ cop with such an opportunity to misbehave. Will they take the bait and brutalize innocent civilians or behave righteously?

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The President really needs to make a public pronouncement concerning this; 

And local Mayors & Police Commissioners need to constantly remind police officers that civilians have not only a right, but a civic responsibility to document their behaviour, to protect civilians & The police officers themselves if accusations are leveled against them, the video may be used to clear them of wrong doing.

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The Art of Lying

The Curious Thing About The Most Honorable People & The Best Liars,

Is that Both Nearly Always Tell The Truth.

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It is only The Careless, Thoughtless Liar that Compulsively Lies without concern for how Viable their Lies will be Held by Others for Any Reasonable Length of Time.

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Why Do People Lie?

To Save someone’s Feelings.

To Escape Responsibility for Some Negligence or Malfeasance. 

To Simplify A Narrative that is UnNecessarily Complicated.

To Spice Up an Otherwise Tedious Narrative.

To Fill in Gaps that A Narrative may Need to Remain Convincing.

To Make a Narrative More Memorable by Adding Forgotten Details.

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Strategies of Successful Lying :

Benjamin Franklin may have been on to something when he suggested that no one has such a reliable memory to be a successful Liar; So that Rule One for Telling Successful Lies is to Tell as Few Lies as Possible.

The Most Egregious Mistake that OJ Simpson made when he was being Sued by The Estates of his Alleged Victims, was to compulsively lie about his ill treatment of his ExWife; Nicole Brown-Simpson. What he should have done is Remorsefully admitted to frequently beating her, and perhaps routinely threatening her life. This would have taken The Punch out of his accusers argument, by portraying him as a psychopathic liar. This Alternative Strategy would have painted him as a cruel & callous husband, but they would necessarily have had to construct a new path toward Nicole’s Murder. Plenty of husbands routinely beat their wives without murdering them. This alone would not provide The Causative Link that his compulsive lying tacitly lead to when he denied murdering her. He lied about The Abuse, He must necessarily be lying about The Murder. 

Is it always best to Scrupulously Tell The Truth, Up until The Big Lie.

You might be thinking that if you freely admit to all The Circumstances leading up to A Given Crime, You are essentially admitting The Crime as Well, Although you Deny it.

But Curiously; The Causality leading up to The Crime is only Circumstantial. It may suggest that you are Guilty, But if this can be later proved, Your denial of these circumstances will only The More Strongly Infer that you were Guilty of The Crime as Well.

“Yes; I went to Visit The Victim moments before she was Discovered Murdered, But She was Dead when I Entered Her Room, This would Explain why there was blood on my Hands & Clothes.”

Telling The Truth when Investigators are expecting you to lie will invariably confuse them. i have found this to be remarkably true time & time again. 

If you’re going to Lie About Details to Assist A Thin Narrative, Make a Reasonable Effort to Add only Elements that Can’t be Verified or Disproved. This can be very tricky, As some Investigators are driven to substantiate or refute these very details that they believe make your narrative either true or false in its entirety. 

It is simply inexcusable to ever tell a transparent lie. All lies should be unverifiable one way or The Other. 

If you’re required to Tell A Story over & over; Telling The Truth becomes your best Friend, And Be Sure to Thoroughly Visualize The Faux Elements so that they may be Easily recalled again & again. Investigators are looking for two divergent tell-tale elements of a False Narrative— And these are; A Story that is Either too Inconsistent or UnNaturally Consistent. Striking just The Right Balance that an Ordinary Person will fall into when telling an entirely true story is The Big Trick. If The Investigators are convinced that you’re guilty, perhaps because you are in fact guilty, They will never be satisfied with your Consistency or Expected Inconsistencies. If this is The Case; Just Stick to your Foundation of Innocence, And This is Very Important; DO NOT Try to Explain any Inconsistencies or Contradictions that they insist you’ve made. Instead; Insist that they have misunderstood you, and recall The Story again, keeping it as Vanilla Flavored as possible. 

As a General Rule: Never agree to be interrogated by The Police or Some Such. You may want to preface any request of this sort by insisting that you would like to cooperate with them, but you’re concerned that they are not entirely interested in The Actual Truth, But merely Closing a Case that they are unwilling to perform a thorough & responsible investigation of. “I am innocent of your accusations, but I have come to believe that you are only interested in twisting any statements that I may make to fit your ill-conceived thesis.”

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500 Children

A Very Wealthy Billionaire leaves a will which mentions 500 ( Whatever The Actual Record Requires ! ) recipients for a large inheritance for each. Each person’s file is accompanied with documentation, all faked, that ‘prove’ that this person is The child of The Billionaire, effectively making him The most prolific gigolo or satyr in The history of human kind. The amount is sufficiently large and each person is carefully picked so that their genealogical relationship is believable, and they will not contest The Claim that The Billionaire is their true father.

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Relationship killers

Things that people do that kill a once loving relationship:

1. Inarticulate Annoyance or Anger that makes The Recipient Partner shy away from any future contact because they don’t know what is going to ‘set them off’.

2. Petty Thievery.

3. Irrational or Experimental Philosophies regarding The Upbringing of ones children.

4. Bossiness or Nagging. If something needs to be done around The house, just do it yourself. If it turns out that you’re doing most of The Housework, then use that as leverage for future bonuses & perks. 

5. Physical Abuse. Everyone; From The Age of 7 or 8, should learn some judo or kung fu. Not only is it a good exercise and should provide The student with greater confidence in everything they do; But it strongly discourages untutored bullies from messing with nerds & ‘smaller’ victims. / Also; Victims that tacitly allow their partners to abuse them, they are principally responsible for The bullying. Victims are victims, but victims often teach their oppressors ‘what is ok to do to me’.

6. Unwillingness or Inability to follow or adhere to simple, inconsequential instructions or requests.

7. Violating a Known Religious, Cultural or Ethnic Taboo of your Partner.

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Only Atheists will be allowed into Heaven

This is a very simple idea; Gawd wants only The Most Dynamic Souls in Heaven, Such that only Those That are Willing to Defy The Will of Gawd’s Judgement to Seek Out their Own Personal Discoveries of Righteousness— Will be deemed worthy of Heaven. 

“Only Atheists will be allowed into Heaven.”

The Babynous Cult : The MailArt Phase

It seems to me that Gawd will want to fill Heaven with only the Noblest Souls and to do so, S’he/It has arranged for this World to be Mislead by various Religious Dogma's that are specifically designed to bring forth the most mealy minded, fatuous pedestrians, by insisting that the only way to get into Heaven is to perform the most specious, unreasonable, self destructive & socially ruinous acts that may be reasonably expected of them... such as mutilating your genitals, persecuting the weak & defenseless, sticking your head in a bucket, or espousing pure gibberish...

Anyone that betrays this agenda will be summarily sent into eternal damnation...!

Thus; Only the bravest, courageous & dauntless that avert themselves from the damp masses & social norms predicated by the established orders, will be worthy of that which they have rejected, to seek a greater, or true provenance of justice & knowledge.

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Vampires &and Resurrection

In The Nicene &/or Apostle’s Creed; Christ dies for 3 days and in that time, Descends into Hell. 

In This Interpretation; According to The Lutheran Pastor of my Relatives Church, This Hell is The Home & Prison of Satan & his Minion. 

The Resurrection however teaches that Christ Died and Lay in The Ground, Inert & Lifeless; His Soul or Spirit in some sort of frozen limbo.

When he was returned to The Spiritual Realm, &/or The Living to walk on The Earth; This Version of him was a Duplicate. Wasn’t It?

Like A Copy made by A Transporter on Star Trek, or The Consequential Rebirth of Your Memories and Essence when you become a Vampire.

They are all The Same Thing.

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Alchemy = Cybernetic Technologies

In The Middle Ages; Alchemy & Magic were some of The Worst Crimes against Gawd.

If they had good reasons ( now unknown ) for suppressing Magic & Knowledge of The Natural Forces; Wouldn’t this extend to Electronics & Cybernetics? 

Computers are The Tools of The Devil.

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x) Fathered my Baby!

This is particularly good for A Very ( Very ) Young Celebrity, such as Justin Bieber.

You bribe or place a housekeeper that finds The handkerchief, towel or woman’s underpants that he uses to masturbate into. From this; You extract some semen & sperms which are then mixed with some pregnancy enhancers ( fluids which cut through The mucus in The Vagina ) and set The Solution to work in Your Fallopian Tubes.

Plan B

You bribe or place principle administrators in The few laboratories that do DNA testing and return a ‘Positive’ for The Test in Question.

Plan C

Obtain a DNA Sample by any number of techniques, including a sample of their hair ( pulled from it’s roots ! ), Or A sweaty T-Shirt or A Kleenex with Snot on it…!

And then use The Extracted DNA to make a Clone. Implant The Clone in your Womb and claim that it is their baby, not their clone.

Plan D

Isolate The Celebrity, get them drunk and full of Viagra, and make a baby in a conventional manner.

Plan E

Find a woman that The Celebrity really has gotten Pregnant, then switch The baby at The hospital or shortly thereafter. Not only will ‘your’ baby be genuinely related to The Celebrity, But their ‘Child’ will not.

Plan F

Have a child with The Twin of a Celebrity or A Close Relative, or Arrange to have Two Close Relatives have a Child together, then claim their child as your own, and The Celebrity as The Father.

Plan G

You ( A Male ) show up with A Baby that you Claim is A Female Celebrities Child & Yours. Obtaining An Egg of The Woman is slightly trickier, but only more challenging.

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Imaginary Friends

There are a few cases ( not many ) in which a schizophrenic person or (x asserts that they can ‘see’ and interact with ‘invisible’ or ‘imaginary’ friends. These imaginary friends seem completely real & solid to them. Sometimes these imaginary characters are friendly, & sometimes they are not. - 

Usually; voices and other phenomena like this that are ‘projected’ from a schizophrenics mind, are from their ‘Id’ and not at all friendly. They tell their ‘host’ to get into mischief and so on. 

- -

There is some ‘talk’ about how ‘real’ hypnotism is.

 Just how ‘real’ is it? Is it merely ‘suggestions’ that would be equivalent to anyone making a suggestion to anyone else, with some small caveat allowing that ‘some people’ are more ‘suggestible’ than others, and ‘some people’ are more ‘influential’ than others. But basically; There is nothing even remotely ‘mystical’ or even ‘mysterious’ about hypnosis. 

In those cases where someone does something very ‘kooky’ while under hypnosis, The critics claim that The subject was merely ‘playing along’ with The hypnotist. 

This seems somewhat improbable, But— It also seems very improbable that ‘most’ people can be ‘made’ to think, believe and act on what appears to be very gently suggested ‘instructions’. ( ??? )

- - 

The Point being :

What if it were possible to set up a Business in which you would ‘sell’ imaginary friends.

These imaginary friends would be fully ‘real’, and The customer would be able to have sex with them, or molest them in any manner that they would so choose. These imaginary friends would also be good, attentive listeners and possibly even do chores around The house. Such chores would be done by The Customer, but they would believe that it was done by their imaginary friend.

In order to ensure that this/these imaginary friends were always imaginary, They may possess some attribute that no ‘real’ person would possess; Such as a Third Eye in their forehead, No hands, or Fewer than The Normal Number of Fingers, Hooves for Feet, Have a Blue or Remarkably Yellow Complexion, Always be Naked without a belly button, or a Stylized Belly Button, or Square Nipples or Whatever.

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How to be Annoying

While i am foursquare opposed to Practical Jokes, Especially ones that end up breaking things or costing innocent ( or guilty sinners ) real money, health or property;

i am ( however ) willing to draw an arbitrary line when it comes to imposing psychological trauma upon The modest lambs that would choose to idly graze on fresh lawns.

These suggestions are intended to make yourself look foolish, provoking your victim to eventually lash out at you, making you The Innocent lamb, and them The Horrid Brute!

Mispronounce The Victims Name

Feign Ignorance of Common Words or Phrases, insisting that they define The term, and then proceed to feign confusion over The subtly of The Idea.

Repeatedly ask them to repeat things, not because you’re hard of hearing, but because you weren’t paying attention until some interesting bit is mentioned.

Giggle nervously.

Stand with your arms posed like a chipmunk. Chipmunk nibbling may be added.

Put your hand in your pocket and fondle your genitals. 

Suggest that there is something between their teeth.

Attempt to PsychoAnalyze them based on their benign physical appearance.

Learn some personal detail about them and use this to insist that you know them from (x.

Agree with everything they say; In an active attentive, contributory manner, and then violently disagree with them.

Ask them what kind of animal they’d like to be; Then find fault in such a poor choice.

Get them to tell a personal story about a quixotic event, and then belittle it.

This is also very similar to denying The significance of A Personal Trauma.

Perform impromptu Magic.

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What do Boys Want in a GirlFriend ?

Reasonably Attractive / Pretty / Cute / Beautiful / SmokingHot / Vampiric / Homely / FarmGirl / TomBoy / Dyke / MuscleGirl / Anorexic / BBW / Midget / Dwarf / Quadriplegic / Amputee / FishEyed / ThoroughlyScared / ThoroughlyTattooed / PearShaped / SpecificHairColor / SpecificRace / HighMaintenance / Huge Breasts / Thick Lips or Areola / Poor Self Esteem / Good Grooming Habits / Hygienic / Musky Menstrual Odor / 

- -

A Woman that Appreciates The Inner Me / Doesn’t mind that I’m a Pedophile / Chain Smoker like Me / Loves me because I’m a Drug Addict / 

- -

I like The Way She Smells / Inoffensive Odor when She’s Menstruating / 

- -

She likes The Way I Smell / Likes The Smell of Dried Cum /

- -

She Must Enjoy Being Touched / 

- -

She Must Enjoy Touching Me / BackRubs / Masturbating Me / Massage my Feet / Lick My Ears / Giving Blow Jobs 

- - 

She has to Appreciate My Personal Flavor of Schizophrenia / Incomprehensible Jokes & Riddles / Theories Concerning The Royal Family as Reptilians / Various Conspiracies

- - 

Must Not be A Psychopathic Liar

- -

Must be Patient With Me

- -

Must have Small Feet 

- -

Not be a ChatterBox

- - 

Must have a Passion for A Personal Hobby to Keep her Busy

- -

Her Own Money

- -

If she’s Ugly; She has to accept that i have a trophy companion to go out with.

- -

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Critical Deja Vu Retort

It has been Suggested that Deja Vu is A Mental/Brain Illusion caused by A Subtle Recursive Loop in your Mental Awareness of (x, So that when you experience (x, It has already been processed Subliminally; And due to this arguably rare effect, The Principle Awareness in your Consciousness is able to access The Memory of The Experience in a Comparatively Normal Manner, and Then notes that these Two Experiences are Essentially Equal, Causing The Consciousness to believe that The (x that they are Experiencing Immediately, Happened at some previous time. 

The Actual Explanation though is That All of your Conscious Experiences happen a few MiniSeconds After your Brain has been processing it for awhile. 

This Deja Vu Effect should happen much more frequently then; But there is, Usually, A Stop Gap to Prevent it, as The Brain Knows that This Recently ‘Remembered’ (x is The Foreshadow of The ‘Currently Experienced’ (x. 

- - 

But.

There is a Subtle Variation on This Deja Vu Effect in which The Memory of (x is Substantially Different from (x. 

That is; You experience (x and immediately become aware of having Experienced (x previously; But in an Entirely Different Context.

This would Ordinarily be Considered ‘Normal’ Memory Activation, 

But The Suspicious Part is that you are also Aware that You Couldn’t Possibly have Experienced (x at some Previous Time. That (x is an Entirely New & Unique Experience.

The Additional Evidence for The Recollection of (x being ‘Odd’ or ‘Kooky’ is that try as you might, You can’t seem to recall -Where- This Prior (x Happened ? 

The Prior, Remembered (x is Unusually Vague, Like a Dream Memory or having happened outside or your well established Chronology of Experiences, ( Your Timeline of Life ).

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Criminal is Chased by Dogs

As a Prepared Criminal; Whenever you’re out on a job, you should carry with you a backpack that has several quick fixes that are easily grabbed, as opposed to digging through a large pillowcase of junk. 

One item is a small all terrain robot that is sufficiently autonomous to go off in some direction, avoid obstacles, and drag a freshly worn sock behind it, or actually spray sweat that was collected by some unspecified process; to create a dominant odor path for dogs to follow. When The dog gets close to it, determined by barking loudness, it waits for a few moments for The Handlers to get there, when i fires off a few blanks to further allow The Criminal extra time to make a get away. At some time thereafter; The Robot thoroughly Explodes, Destroying any latent evidence. 

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Rewriting Local Historical Events

This idea occurred to me quite a while ago, and i just recently had a dream that expanded this to another level.

The first idea concerned a young boy, say 9 or 10, and an older sister that keeps a diary. The boy buys another diary just like it to obtain a key that matches his sisters, that is well hidden. He then studies The entries of The Diary very carefully, and using The Duplicate Diary, practices his sister’s handwriting and doodles so that he can imitate it flawlessly. 

Then after she has filled in half of The diary, he goes back to find empty pages or gaps in his Sister’s Diary and fills them in with A Faux History of his sister. So that when their mother or father, or even The Author herself goes back to re-read old entries, she will find these faux pages and see that they were unambiguously written by her ! How could she have forgotten that she gave Tom Budster a Blowjob in The Boys locker room, or that she witnessed a murder while out with Suzy Candlemaker & Dorothy Hazlenut, both of whom have mysteriously moved away and can’t be contacted. 

- - -

In The Dream; i got ahold of some old super 8 films made by my uncle Jack and using modern technology, inserted myself & other elements into them, Then refilmed them so that they would appear to be The originals. If they have since been converted to Digital Mp4s; Then so much The better. It would be quite easy to match The Appearance of The Film Quality, and insert new characters or ambiguous duplicate stand ins that would necessarily ‘have to be’ Common Characters in The Films. One might also introduce entirely new films that are kept in a second shoe box, very similar to The original that feature sexual misdeeds or other crimes & misdemeanors that their children or grand children will someday find.  

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Psychological Warfare

Start a Rumor; With Press Clippings & Classified Memos, Emails, Documents & Testimonies from Disgruntled X-Employees—

That Various Extremist/Radical Left Wing Liberals have United their Efforts with Several Major & Regional Advertisement Firms to Insert Subliminal Mind Control & ReEducation Messages & Indoctrination Conditioning to Convert Everyone in America to becoming Homosexual. 

This is based on The Discovery that Homosexuality is a Psychological Disease that can be Cured;

But just as easily, HeteroSexuals can be Given this Disease in The Same way that People can be Acclimated to Violence or Promiscuous Sexual behaviours through Popular Music, Comix, Teen or Celebrity Magazines, Films & TV. 

Every Use of The Colors Purple, Violet, Pink, Teal, Sunflower, Grass or Orange in Advertising is Sited as Proof of This Insidious Program. 

Any Ad that features two men or two women in The ad is Proof. 

Any Ad with A Single Adult and Children is Proof.

Alcohol or Cigarette Ads with attractive or young looking People is Proof.

Any Fashion Trend is Proof of Homosexuality.

Attractive Food is Universally Compared to Fellatio or Cunnilingus. 

- - -

There was a Dilbert Cartoon Recently ( May 2015 ) in which Alice is in Competition with another Employee for a Advanced Position, so that when they are together, she announces that her strategy is to damage his reputation on Internet Social Media Sites — Later; The pointy haired boss reveals to Alice that The Other Employee was recently fired for Spreading Unsubstantiated Rumors about Alice, Alice then truthfully reveals that her familiarity & use of such social media sites is non-existent. 

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The Time Traveling Machine

i’ve started this idea ‘elsewhere’; But i can’t seem to find it ( ?

What if :

What if some Engineers & Physicists working at Area 51, or Area 52 or Area 7, came across an interesting effect while tinkering around in their R&D Department.

This effect was kind of like Deja vu, but occurred outside a subjective psychological environment. That is; It could be empirically measured and quantified.

This effect may very well look like Time Travel !

As they continued to play around with it, They set up a Receiving Box which would gather information from The Future. After setting it up; It immediately began registering photons & particles from unknown sources. That is; These photons and neutrons would spontaneously appear in The Box without any mechanism to account for where they were coming from.

They then created a Transmission Device; Which would sent their own Photons to The Receiving Box, and sure enough; Whenever they would send a few thousand photons through The Transmission Device; A higher than expected number of photons would appear in The Receiving Box. It was all very statistical, But they were sure they were on to something. They then funded this Experiment to The Tune of Several Millions of Dollars and were convinced after a time that they could reliably send neutrons, protons & Entire Hydrogen & Lithium Atoms through to The Receiving Box. Actual Information was somewhat less certain; But Messages of a Sort were sent which produced sufficiently ambiguous results that this only reassured them that they were on to something. 

But they needed more expensive Equipment and more power. These additional expenditures would come to several billion dollars.

So they tried to obtain these funds through The regular channels, but The committee members were unconvinced that they could build a viable Time Machine to either look into The Future or Past, Never mind, Send anyone or Anything through time.

So The Administrators at this Area (x thought of an alternative Plan. 

They would either ( or Both ) fake a Moon Landing or Start a War on Terror, Plus Invade Multiple Foreign Nations & then Divert The Funding for these Projects to their own Time Travel Research. 

One ‘Rational’ for all this would be that they were sure that after properly funding The Time Machine Project, they could have a viable Time Machine in as little as 10 years, then go back in time and Undo The War on Terror, Restoring The Constitution, and Not Invading all these foreign countries, AND retain The Time Machine, Creating something of a Chronological Paradox, which didn’t seem to bother them at all.

But.

Unfortunately; After working on their Time Machine for 50 years; They begrudgingly eventually admitted that The Original Effect was The Result of Some Simple ’Tunneling’ Effect, and all subsequent measurements were grossly misinterpreted. 

There was No Time Traveling Effect.

There would be No Time Machine.

And The War on Terror persists, Shredding The Constitution more & more as it cascades out of control.

- -

In actual fact; Trillions of Dollars that have been poured into The Wars in Afghanistan & Iraq, Plus The War on Terror in General have been Misplaced;

And if The Moon Landings were Faked; This Hoax would have been substantially cheaper than A Real Group of Missions to The Moon.

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Military Films

This derives from a General Thesis of : How to Introduce a Hoax in Such & Such A Way So as to Insulate The Hoaxsters from Its Introduction to The Popular Media Outlet(s.

This Particular Idea is Envisioned as Producing A Series of ‘Military Films’, All of which are 16_mm in something like 10, 15 or 20_minute Reels.

They are all bundled into a Box with ‘Military Documents’ Hand-Books & Memorabilia, Which is then sold at A Yard Sale Held by an Middle Aged Woman who has cleaned out her GrandFather’s house after he Died; for $20 or so.

Much of what is in The Box is Entirely Authentic, Dating from The 1950s & 60s.

Included along with these ‘Real’ Items are A Series of Films, Some of Which are Labeled and Sealed as SECRET or TOP SECRET; CLASSIFIED or CONFIDENTIAL, PRIVATE or DEPARTMENT SECTION (x) ONLY.

Each Film Starts off with A Musical Interlude Then Its Classification Rating And Who is Eligible to View It. What to do if you Inadvertently View The Film. 

Then a Military Officer Introduces The Film and Proceeds to Use A Blackboard or Prepared Artwork to Assist in Their Live Demonstration(s.

Then The Film Ends with Credits & More Classification Protocols, How to Store The Film and Keep it Secure. / Please Rewind This Film as A Courtesy to Your Fellow Soldiers.

Amoung The Films:

How to Masturbate : For Men : Boot Camp Introduction Film

How to Masturbate : For Women : Boot Camp Introduction Film

How to Use a Condom

How to Practice Good Hygiene with Prostitutes

How to Check a Prostitute for Weapons that May be Hidden in Body Cavities

How to Obtain Information from A Captured Prisoner

  Series : 

    Use of Electrodes on The Prisoners Genitals

    Use of Common Kitchen Utensils 

    Use of Power Tools

    Use of Water 

    Use of Twisting or Pulling of Limbs

    Use of Cord, Rope or Wire

    Use of Animals

    Use of Psychological Domination

    Use of Companions or Family Members of The Captured Prisoner

How to Effectively & Silently Kill Your Enemy

  Series :

    Use of An IcePick

    Use of A Knife

    Use of A Blunt Object / Rock, Hammer or Club

    Use of Electricity

    Use of Rope, Cord or Wire

    Use of Bare Hands, Feet or Body Weight

    Use of Blanket, Plastic Bag or Wet Sheet

    Use of A Pen, Pencil or Drinking Straw

      All of these films use Actual Prisoners, Criminals or Hobos that are then Tortured or Murdered on Screen. 

Psychological Preparation for Murdering An Enemy or NonCombatant in Cold Blood

  It may be Necessary to Periodically Murder a Civilian ‘Witness’ to Protect The Integrity of A Mission. 

    How to Murder An Attractive Woman

    How to Murder A Young Girl or Boy

    How to Murder A Child

    How to Murder An Elderly or Infirm Man or Woman

    How to Murder A NonCombatant Pleading for Mercy

    How to Murder A Crying Baby

    How to Kill A Dog

      As with The Previous Series’ ; Actual Prisoners, Criminals, Hobos, Stray Animals or Orphans are Murdered on Screen.

A Crashed Alien Craft is Examined

An Alien ( Extraterrestrial ) in Autopsied

An Alien ( Extraterrestrial ) is Examined and Communication is Attempted

Alien ( Extraterrestrial ) Technology is Examined

Alien ( Extraterrestrial ) Weapon is Used on Prisoners 

Russian Spy Devices are Examined

How to Plant Surveillance Equipment 

How to Defend Yourself Against :

  Series :

    Assailant with a Knife, Screw Driver or Sword

    Assailant with a Club, Hammer or Fire Poker

    Assailant with a Gun

    Assailant with a Rifle 

    Assailant with a Rope, Cord or Wire

    Assailant Employing Any Number of The Martial Arts

    Assailants with Multiple Weapons 

    Assailant Attempting to Push you Out a Window

    Assailant Wrestling with You In The Vicinity of Wild Animals

How to Survive a Deadly Situation

  Series :

    How to Escape being Locked in The Trunk of A Car

    How to Escape from Being Lead to A Mass Grave by Numerous Enemies with Rifles

    How to Escape from An Open Pit with Wild Animals

    How to Survive from Being Pushed from An Airplane without a Parachute.

    How to Survive Being Thoroughly Bound & Thrown into Deep Water 

    How to Survive Being Lead to A Firing Squad

    How to Escape Any High Security Prison

    How to Survive Being Thoroughly Bound and Dragged Behind a Vehicle

    How to Endure The Pit of Eternal Damnation

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Controlling or Subduing Paparazzi

Find a Real ( but minor ? ) Celebrity that wants to Drop Out.

Then Arrange with The Local Police of some Small Town to Cooperate ( For The Greater Good ) In The Murder of A Paparazzi by The Celebrity. The Paparazzi is never heard of again, and The Celebrity is reported to have either been sentenced to Life in Prison or Commits Suicide.

Then a month or so later, Another ‘Celebrity’ murders another Paparazzi.

And so on. Repeat until desire effect is obtained.

- - -

Wear a hat that flashes strobes in all directions that are about 100 times brighter than any ordinary camera flash. 

- - -

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Removing Tattoos

Might it be Possible to remove a tattoo by sucking The ink out, in The same way that it was put in ?

If The ink is in cells, this would probably be impossible, So then it might be possible or necessary to remove these cells, or popping them, and sucking out all The contents, which would include The ink. The Surrounding Skin would then Fill in this spot, and this all takes place over a period of several sessions, and The damage would be so small in each session per ‘region’, that no scarring would occur. 

- - 

How about Re-Tattooing The Tattoo with A Soapy Solution so that The Ink leaks out of The Cells or Cell Layers, fading away on it’s own. / Some kind of Very Non-Toxic Fatty Solution ? 

- - 

Or a Solution which causes The Cells under The Tattoo is Self Implode, thereby allowing The ink to dissipate into The under The skin blood vessels & such. / This may end up substantially damaging The Tissue in The Area, so that you may wish to do a little bit at a time, such as every ‘other’ line of Tattoo Resolution ( ? )

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Circumventing Laws to Outlaw Gay Marriage

Why is The Government in The Marriage Business Anyways?

What Advantages are there to Being Married, Legally; 

And can A Couple of Indeterminate Sexual Identity obtain those same Advantages by some other Means?

- - 

Might it be ‘Curious’ if The Gay Community simply sidestepped The Marriage Issue by Creating its own ‘Kwanzaa’ Version of Marriage !

And by this; i mean; A Completely Alternative & Arguably Superiour ‘Joining’ of Committed Souls to take possession of this Sanctity. 

Like Blacks stealing The Confederate Flag and making it Synonymous with their own Heritage. 

This New Ceremony would be Far More ‘Ceremonial’ than Conventional Marriages, Casting The Anachronistic Marriage into a Feeble Shadow that Heterosexual Couples have to endure as Second Class Citizens of Soul Binding ( ! )

i just hate The Idea of Gay Marriages settling for weak descriptions of their Fusion, such as; Civil Union or some such.

It needs an Entirely New Name : 

Such as : 

A Ptionturentio Liturgy 

The Ressiesse Fusion

A Ountconsi Melding

The Holy Xche Synthesis

A Sacred Deaem Coalescence

Once established; The Couples and An Established Movement, Orchestrated with Legal Council, would form legal or QuasiLegal Arrangements with Various Institutions, Such as Insurance Companies, Medical Facilities and Such that would Recognize these Unions for Convenience or Profit. While The Union may not be State Sanctioned; Any Arrangements made with These Institutions would include provisions that would make them equitable in every Legal Sense.

Then The Gay Community could initiate Legislation to Recognize The Ressiesse Fusion Rituals & Liturgy, as performed by Recognized, Tax Exempt, Religious Orders so as to Grant such Couples all Additional Cultural Benefits.

If Any other Religious or Political Groups were to Suggest that This Institution is Not Marriage and should Not be Recognized as Such, The Proponents of The Ountconsi Melding would agree completely, and remind their critics that they are proposing an Entirely New Custom or Tradition that is not in any form, in competition with Their Religiously Defended Concept of Marriage.

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How to Summon Satan

Step One: Obtain a Very Good Child, Under 12, that hasn’t yet begun to Menstruate or whose Testicles haven’t Descended.

Step Two: Then Kidnap this Child and abuse them terribly, but don’t violate their virginity.

Step Three: Wait until December; Get a nice X-mass Tree, and move into a home with a large fireplace. Exhaustively Decorate The Tree, and carefully add plenty of Tinsel. 

Step Four: On December 24th, Put out some Cold Milk and Hand Baked Cookies, Then wait behind The Couch for Santa to Appear. 

Step Five: When Santa appears with some gift for your kidnapped child that surely deserves something really nice, jump out from behind The couch and attack Santa with a large knife. Cut out his Heart and eat it. Then murder The child and violate him or her in every imaginable manner until Satan Arrives.

Step Six: You Then request 7 years of Bless & Happiness, Plus every Material Pleasure and all The Virgins that you desire, in return for your soul. If Satan accepts your offer, then you’re set, if instead he betrays you by calling The police and then collects your soul when you’re executed, then you’re screwed. 

So be sure to live in a state without Capital Punishment.

- - 

There is a second school of thought that suggests to those that believe that The Devil does not exist; That you can draw Satan to you regardless of S’he/it’s existence. This is based on The Idea that The Human Brain is Capable of Conjuring up any Fully Actualized Delusional Figure, as are often reported by Schizophrenics. If this is Accurate; Then Any Genuinely Sincere Effort, with all The ‘Believed’ Necessary Ceremonial Steps to Bring forth The Devil, The Devil will appear for you, Personally; And at this Time you can make any deal that you’d like. Depending upon your expectations; Such & Such will happen.

Thereafter; You should remain capable of creating whatever delusions & hallucinations to sustain your belief that you have summoned The Devil and obtained whatever rewards for any Sacrifices that you’ve agreed to offer or pay to The Phantom. 

While you’re Delusional Reality is providing you with This & That; If it includes Genuine ‘External’ Mischief and The Murders of Actual People, You may end up attracting The Actual Police that will put a Caboché on your Experiment. 

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Godwin’s Law

Godwin’s Law

"As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1."

Reductio ad Hitlerum 

Genocide, Eugenics or Racial Superiority, Joseph Goebbels

- - 

But what is The General Principle and how do The Curves Compare with one another?

How long does a given Online Discussion have to be before A Hitler Reference reaches a .9 Probability ?

What are The Other Variables?

The Online Discussion Topic?

The Number of Participants.

Contemporary Political or Social Concerns

The Prior use of Hitlerum Attacks in Adjacent Groups

Content Providers to Lurkers to Trolls.

How ‘Popular’ The Topic is; Vs Esoteric Topics.

- -

If you know enough of The Relevant Variables; A Computer Program that monitors The Thread could accurately predict when The Thread would begin to Collapse; then Evaluate The ‘Importance’ of The Thread and take steps to either reinstate it, or terminate it.

- -

Other Convergent Nodes :

The Little Baby Jesus’ Crying.

Tangental Subject Matter Introduced / Name Change

Viagra Ad Inserted.

Suggestion that Not Enough Information has been Included with A Question

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Crazy / Dare Devil Stunts

Tight Wire Walk; With Wire held taught by two helicopters.

— Held by two 747’s flying parallel.

Since you’d be moving at several hundred miles an hour, you’d have to walk at a severe angle into The airstream.

— Held by High Altitude Balloons, So that The Walker would need to wear a spacesuit.

— Tight rope underwater, with a suit of bowling balls on. 

— Tight ‘rope’ over Niagara falls, with The rope being hundreds of people holding on to each other’s ankles. / or handcuffed Alqæda Terrorists / 

— This last idea might make a terrific ‘Gymkhana’ Stunt in which The Rope is Students from A Rival School, Dressed in Their School Colors, featuring athletes & their cheer-leaders– But which are actually dummies, held hand to foot with powerful electromagnets, which are turned off when our student is halfway across; plunging all The Other School’s students to their Deaths, 40 or 50 feet above The Ground, Then our student also falls, but quickly opens an Umbrella, & floats gently to The ground, where The other students are hurled into wheel barrows & carted off while our cheer leaders dance around The tight rope walker.  

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ways that The Police may Fawk with you.

They first take away your shoelaces and belt; Then after 18 hours or so; They give you back your shoelaces or tell you how to tear up your shirt or pants and braid it into a cord strong enough to hang yourself with, after stripping away all your self confidence and informing you that you parents or spouse has no interest in coming to pay your bail, and without anyone to take possession of you, they can keep you, in fact, they have a legal & moral responsibility to keep you indefinitely, which means forever, in a state of limbo, in this tiny filthy cell. They also point out that there is a Ring hook in The ceiling, conveniently placed there to assist in suicides. So that when you do tear apart your pants and twist them, because you never learned how to braid¹, into a rope and attempt to hang yourself, The Ring slides down from The Ceiling, gently depositing you on The cells floor, at which time, The door of your cell pops open and there are several men & women police officers laughing their butt cheeks off. You are then stripped naked, except for a Short Jacket*, and placed in an even filthier cell with padded walls.

- - 

* A Short Jacket is like a Straight Jacket in Functionality, but it consists of only a Tightened Waist Band that holds your hands in sealed pockets, so that you can’t use them for anything, like picking your nose or masturbating.  

¹ Cell contains Braiding Instructions on The Wall.

: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - : o

Everything The Police will tell you, is most certainly a lie.

: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - : o

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Police use Blood Bags to Disperse a Crowd

The Police are confronted with a large unruly crowd and in order to disperse them, they make them believe that The police are indiscriminately firing into The crowd, instigating a massacre! They do this by firing ‘blood bags’ that are filled with a blood like substance, with bits or bone like material and brains like material. These bags explode when they hit a person, causing no injury to that person, except perhaps for some minor bruising; But The others surrounding them will believe that a horrific injury has occurred. 

This strategy may actually cause The crowd to respond with their own weapons, but sharp shooters on The roofs of near by buildings, with acoustical location equipment should easily be able to locate The sounds of ‘real’ gun fire, and disarm or wound these true anarchists. 

Later on; When The News reports that no persons were killed and only a few received minor cuts & scratches due to The fleeing crowds, The people there will not believe it and insist that there is a cover up of all The people that they saw being killed. ( ? )

It seems to me that even if it became ‘well known’ that The police were using this technique, it would remain effective, as this knowledge would only be possessed by a small number of people, and The desired effect is to cause a stampede, which requires only one or two cows to become panicky. 

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Castle Defenses

Thick Walls

Located on An Island

Located inside a Marshland

Located on The Top of A Mountain

Located along The Side of Shear Cliff

Inside a Maze

Stairs leading up to The Main Gate are Wide and Inviting, but uneven. The depth & height of each step is unique, So that The visitor would have to carefully navigate up each step one at a time. If you tried to walk up them in a distracted manner, or run up them, you would certainly stumble and fall again & again. 

Movable Walls that change The Streets surrounding The Castle proper.

Underground tunnels that lead away from The Castle to Areas that would in most probability be used by invaders when camping out.

Bridges that twist side to side, or flip downward in an unexpected manner.

Regions that easily support a small number of people or livestock, but would collapse under The weight of a large crowd sporting heavy armor.

Nested Walls.

Inviting Weak Zones that lead to Traps.

Skinny doorways that invite a small number of invaders in at a time.

Very uneven terrain. 

Pre-excavated trenches, but are much too deep!

Doors that aren’t doors. 

Walls that are doors. 

Double Agents and Traitors that provide The Invaders with disinformation.

Cattle Stampedes.

Wild Animals / Scorpions / Poisonous Centipedes / Birds trained to (x 

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Religious Revival Tent Show

Get a Really Big Tent and Fill it up with Fold Up Chairs, Sofas, Wing Chairs, Bean Bag Chairs, Standing and Sitting Pews, Blankets over Foam Padding and so on. All kinds of Seating Furniture, so that everyone can find something that they’re comfortable with. 

Then Introduce elements that create a Sense of An Alternative Reality, Such as very subtle Laser Light Show so that you’re not really aware that there’s a Laser Light Show. And Powered Sugar ( Non-Toxic Reflectant ) that is blown into The Air to Create a Sparkling Effect. And Focused Beams of Light, so that you can’t see The Beam of Light, until it focuses, or falls into a conjunctive point that is controlled by computers, so that The Effect is to Create points or Balls of Light that float around. 

InfaSounds that create a Rumbling in your Belly or A Buzzing in your Head, by passing your ears, Sounds that go straight through your Skeleton.

Nice Smells; Pumpkin Pie, Channel Number Nine, Clean Cold Air, Popcorn, New Socks, New Car, Cut Grass, Vanilla, Cinnamon, ( ?

NOT Roses, Strawberries, Lemon or Any Common Odors that are ‘Thought to Be’ Pleasant Commercial Odors. 

Kittens & ‘Rounded’ Puppies running around inside The Tent.

‘Empty’ Birds Flying around inside The Tent.

Fawns, Bear, Lion & Tiger Cubs. 

NO Monkeys !

Boxes or Pits with Large Snakes. 

- -

A Conventional Preacher that says lots of promising things about you, 

While condemning ‘The Others’.

Fake Healings, A Wall of Discarded Crutches & Wheel Chairs. 

Attractive Women & Athletic Men as Helpers.

Some Attractive Women Dwarves as Helpers. ( Not Men )

Cute, Homely, Clumsy Children as Helpers.

Plain, But Subtly Magickal Robes for The Helpers. Plain Hemp, that sparkles just a tiny bit. 

Bare Feet for all Helpers.

The Preacher should be dressed in a very fancy, expensive looking 3 piece suit. 

With a grandiose tie that flashes ‘Jesus Saves’, or (x ? 

A Big Organ, Small Band with Violins, Guitar, Xylophone, Polynesian Wood Block Drums, Saxophone, that play religious Jazz. Choir with plenty of big fat black women. 

Helium Balloons with something ( ? ) going on inside them, and weighted so that they drift around inside The Tent.

Galvanic Generator under The Stage so that Electrical Bolts occasionally shoot out of The Preacher. 

Donation Baskets that allow you put things in, but not take things out.

Each Basket should be seeded with numerous tens & twenties, 

Not Ones or Hundreds,

Some Loose Change & Trinkets, Shoelaces, Notes or Clean Panties. 

Gift Shop with Lots of Horrific Geegaw.

Bibles, Korans, Tao de Ching, and Other Religious Books and Stuff. 

The Necronomicron, Torah, ‘Lost’ or Heretical Books. 

T-Shirts :

“If Jesus were here right now; He’d kick your ass!”

“Jesus Saves Pennies!”

“Jesus Loves My 11 Year Old Sister!” ( Daughter / GrandDaughter )

Alternative & Heretical Preachers standing on Boxes outside The Tent, 

Condemning The Activities inside The Tent.

Picketers with Signs Condemning The Tent. 

Very Overweight Police Officers in 1950s Patrol Cars Sitting Around for Security. 

Invisible Security for Real Security.

Giraffes.

Jugglers and Unicyclists outside The Tent. 

A Very Large Jesus with Children Statue that is Inflatable but looks like white marble, 

and is tied down so that it doesn’t wiggle around. 

Jesus’ in costume or Jesus Cut Outs so that you can have your picture taken with Jesus.

Also; The BVM, Saint John ( Or Other Saints ), A Very Large gawd, Sitting on a Donkey beside Jesus, Your face in A Cutout of Jesus with Mary Magdalene.   

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BaseBall

i have always hated Baseball, but i recently watched ‘MoneyBall’ which is a film about Baseball ( with Brad Pitt ). The nice thing about this film is that it’s promoting a school of thought that contradicts The Usual Orthodox Methods of creating a Baseball team of ‘PrimaDonnas’ ! 

Instead; MoneyBall builds up a team of Severely Undervalued Players that Work well together as a Team ! This is an idea that had occurred to me several years ago; In that my idea was to create a team of ‘local’ players that would play for The love of The game, & be fashioned to work together as a team, without PrimaDonnas.

- - -

So i’ve been thinking about baseball a little bit.

- - 

Might it be reasonable to train a pitcher that has a very good control over how fast s/he can pitch, so that they can vary The speed of each pitch, to throw off The batter. 

If a particular batter is known to be a very strong batter that can reliably hit a fast ball, it might be desirable to throw a very slow pitch to provide The ball with less kinetic energy when it is hit ! This unusually slow pitch might also be very disconcerting to swing at as well.

- - 

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False Confession

You’re arrested for some fairly serious crime, such as attacking a women with a knife, perhaps even killing her & her dog. 

During The Police Interrogation; The Lead Investigator accuses you of another somewhat similar crime that was committed several months or years earlier that you may, or may not have had anything to do with.

‘What is it worth to you?’ you ask.

‘What is it worth to us?’

‘Yes; What’s in it for me if I help you clean up a few of your old cases? You obviously have an open & shut case against me regarding this attack you caught me at yesterday, It can only be in my best interest to sell you some commodity that you’re interested in. Solving some of these older cases will be beneficial to you & your department.’

They Bite !

The Police pull out several unsolved cases, some that have nothing to do with your M.O. or perhaps even contradict details of your life that make it impossible for you to have committed them.

If you were responsible for this ‘other’ attack; It’s important that you only tell The police details concerning this crime that was in The news, or that  The police themselves have told you about. If you’re sure that such & such a detail was kept secret & they ask you about it, such as some curious shape of The Knife blade or specific location, get it wrong in your statement, & then after The police correct you, change your statement.

For Publicity, so that The Police get The most milage out of these solved cold cases, rather than close all these cases under The table, you manipulate them into insisting on a full blown trial.

During The Trial; It becomes clear that you could not have committed some of The crimes that you have provided signed confessions to. It then comes out that The police were providing you with details for these cold cases to include in your confessions, causing The judge to be forced into throwing not only those cases out, but The one case that you were caught dead to rights in. 

You walk free, having humiliated The Police force, perhaps even getting many of them charged with various crimes themselves. 

For The sake of Prudence; You leave The state & change your name. 

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Serious Paparazzi 

Whenever i consider The Paparazzi, i am left with a sense of wonderment that they act so pointlessly. Why for example do they run around snapping photo after photo The Celebrities getting into or out of a car, driving down a street, walking down a street or many & any other absolutely benign activities? Do they sell any of these pictures to anyone? Who is buying them? At A Living Wage Price?

- - 

If i were a Paparazzi; i would accumulate a bag of capital; Then identify which hotels are most likely to be used by Celebrities; & The Rooms that they’d use; Then Throughly Bug Those Rooms with Video & Microphones; in such a way that these tools would remain embedded in The Walls, Ceilings or Floors until needed. They would then be activated after an appropriate time was allowed to pass for Electronic Eavesdropping Checks to be Completed. They would then be ‘Activated’ Scan The Rooms throughly, & record their observations so that if any equipment was looking for transmutation sources, none would be revealed. 

After All The Images would be collected; they would be Digitally Modified to make them appear to have been taken from a somewhat different Point of View from where they were taken from. So that when The Source of The Images was searched for; Not only would The Bugs have returned to their Passive Positions deep within The Walls, designed so that The Cracks & such would be resealed. 

What would investigators then believe? 

The Pictures must have been taken by a Photographer inside The room, with The full knowledge of The People so indiscreetly Photographed. 

- - 

This idea is closely related to my ‘other’ idea of collecting a Celebrities Semen from The Women’s Underwear or Plastic Toy that they use when masturbating, then use it to Impregnate a Volunteer Woman or randomly selected 9 year old girl, & then Later assert (x. 

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False Memories for Magick

The idea of False Memories is fairly well understood, 

An Adult may be ‘Implanted’ with Memories that are not at all real, by a trusted psychotherapist or perhaps even ( merely ) a trusted friend or Spouse.

Such memories usually result in great mischief, 

But it might also be possible to replace real traumatic memories with false memories in which a previously traumatic situation was resolved differently.

- - 

What if A Small Child was raised in such a way that they were constantly implanted with False Memories in which they were The focus of Magickal Abilities or Deeply Unexplained Quixotic Phenomena.

The Parents might simply, occasionally, off handedly mention to visitors while The child is tangentially listening of how they’ve recently exhibited magickal phenomena, & suggesting that they are taking after some relatives on The ‘Magickal’ side of The Family!

Initially; The child would refute these stories, but after hearing them a few dozen time, they would begin to ‘Recall’ these stories as Real Experiences that Actually happened to them. 

This phenomena has actually been reported with real children, but with somewhat more benign situations, such as being lost at a shopping mall.

After a Time; The child will begin to believe that they are capable of expressing real magickal phenomena. 

This effect/goal would be greatly supplemented by The parents or ‘Magickal’ relatives routinely performing ‘Magick’ in such contexts that they would not be performing a ‘Trick’; But merely doing some perfectly ordinary task with The help of Magick. 

- - 

Would this child eventually begin to express genuine Magickal Abilities ?

- - 

A Gradation of this, might be with diminished Expectations of merely exhibiting Telekinesis, Telepathy, Clairvoyance or such. 

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had some raw idea regarding:

The Class of ‘Ethical’ People

Criminals

Law Abiding Criminals / Who do so from Fear of Punishments

Good People

Law Breaking Good People / Whose morality exceeds The Parameters of What is Legal.

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‘’”Funny Car EXplosion

Rig up a Papier-Mâché Funny Car ( Drag Racer ) to Blow Up like an Atomic Bomb ( Police Flash Bomb ) half way down The Track, so that even if some The pieces fell on The spectators, it would just be light ash. And then The Car would tumble to A Stop & The Driver would jump out, on fire, & run up & down The track & guys with fire extinguishers comically following him, spraying foam all over everything except him, & then finally, with a bit of magic, he blows up into sparkling dust.

This is what The audience is really hoping to see. 

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Become The Most Famous Serial Killer Ever 

Become The Most Famous Serial Killer Ever, & then; If your ever caught, provide evidence that you’re completely innocent !

What was it that made Jack The Ripper so Famous?

Certainly, Many other killers killed more & More famous victims — 

It was ( ? ) because he Ripped his Victims apart. 

- - 

Find a Collection ( over time ) of People that have died of natural causes, obtain all The necessary documentation of such, & then destroy The ‘official’ records.

Take these corpses to a house somewheres, & then dissect them, rearranging their parts into a recognizable art piece, as opposed to something modern or Abstract Expressionist.

You’d want The Art to be easily recognizable as art. 

Then The Victim & Art is found, Time & again. 

Avoid Capture until you have performed this ritual on several hundred persons throughout The country. 

When you’re caught; you can only be charged with The Desecration of Corpses. 

You might even contact some people at hospices & have them sign ( or provide a video of Them giving you permission to use their bodies in your art project ) a release for your use of their bodies.

All such ‘permissions’ though would have to be kept secret until after you’re caught, or The Thrill & Horror of The Project would be compromised. The pubic & media have to believe that you’re murdering these innocent & otherwise healthy victims. 

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Local Character Imitator

Find &Identify The Persona of A Local Character; That is : Someone from your Local Community that everyone that routinely visits or works in The Downtown Area or Major Parks, Knows ( on Sight ) A Local ( Crazy Man or Woman ) Celebrity that has a very distinctive ‘Look’. 

Then Duplicate that Look to rob local liquor stores & convenience stores that are ‘Out of The Personalities usual ‘Route’ or ’Turf’; So that when The Local News reports The Incidents, Everyone will immediately ‘Know’ who did it. !

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Practical jokes 

To be played on your wife, husband, neighbor, coworker or (x.

You obtain a real x-ray of a hand gun & make a cut out of this image with tin foil, then slip it under The lining of their carry on bag, so that it can’t be seen, even if you open The bag & take everything out. It will only appear when x-rayed.

A Variation on this; Is to paint The image on The inside of The lining with invisible paint, that is x-ray opaque, so that it can’t be seen even if The bag is torn apart. 

Alternative to this is other weapons or bombs. 

Or if you’re confident that they’re going to be body scanned; put The image under The lining of their suit. 

HA!

: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - : o

You’re a Famous Actor or Celebrity & you’re sitting in a Restaurant with some Friends, when a Young Girl in A PokaDot Dress comes up to you with an Official Autograph Book that has a few Autographs already in it, But none are Big Stars. You are Big Star, having just starred in A BlockBuster Movie that was made with Sufficient Quality that people will still be watching it 20 years from now. 

The Girl comes up & Asks for your Autograph & you Pretend to be Joe Smoozhe, Mr. NoBody, & you ask The Girl who she thinks you are & You Say ‘HA! I’ve been accused of looking like Various Celebrities before, But not that one!’ & your Friend catches on to your Scam & Winks at The little girl & Says; ‘Aaaah! Don’t listen to this Mug, He really is Celebrity (x, Just give him a few minutes to write something clever, come back in a few minutes & he’ll have written something really nice.’ 

So The little girl leaves & you get to work on this Autograph book, writing out a long story of your life, with carefully drawn illustrations & you’ve even taped a few items in from your wallet, Then signed it ‘Sally Fields’ !

The little girl comes back & collects The Autograph Book, while you & your Friends are laughing hysterically, calling you by your name, but making it sound like that’s not your name !

A few days or A week or so later; you are on The Johnny Leno Show & you tell this Story, You additionally reveal that you’ve taken Cell phone snap shots of all The pages that you filled in, & posted them on your Celebrity Blog Pages, So that if anyone wants to Verify if The Autograph Book that was sold to them is The one mentioned !

Of course though, The little girl took The Book home, ripped out all those pages & threw them away !

HA!

: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - : o

A Similar Scam is You are A Billionaire & you find or come to be aware of a Schmuck that has done something nice, & your friends think that you should do something nice for him, even though you don’t like him; So you agree to give him a Million Dollars. 

But— You Cash Out The Million Dollars into Crispy $20 Bills & Mix them up so that they’re not Consecutive, The Serial Numbers appear Random. Then you put The Million Dollars in a Shoe Box or Hat Box or whatever & put a note on The Top Addressed to ( Presumably ) A Mob Boss or Somesuch, Telling them that ‘Here’s The Million Dollars that you Ordered, I think i really did a nice job on this Batch, & I even took care to make sure that The Serial Numbers are All Different, It took some Extra Time, but i think that it’ll be worth it, I hope you appreciate The Extra Effort. Signed; The Forger. / 

You then connive to deliver The Money to The Sucker in such a way that he believes that it was delivered to him by accident. He will also believe that there is no way that anyone that realizes their mistake can come back to find him. 

So he takes The Money home, & since he’s so honest, he doesn’t try to pass any of The Bills, Instead he puts a bunch of them next to Fire Place & uses them to start fires, or wipe his ass, or blow his nose, or uses them for book markers in library books. 

Then Several months go by, & he has disposed of several hundred thousand dollars worth of The Bills, & then a friend drops by & hears this story, & he says, can i have a stack of them, & after assuring his friend that he wouldn’t spend any of them, agrees to let his friend take a few thousand dollars with him. His friend takes a few of The Bills to a Bank & asks if they are Counterfeit, & The bank says; No, They’re Real ! & The Guy says, are you Sure, i have it on a very good authority that these are Counterfeit Bills, could you please check them again, & The Back comes back a week later & says; They’re really Real. So The Guy goes back to his Friend & Tells him this News.

HA!

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Prognostication Books

Create Several ( Dozens or Hundreds ) of Well Worn, Fully Actualized ‘Published’ books from Decades ago; That include a fair amount of nonsense & also numerous ‘predictions’ of The Future that are remarkably accurate. 

These Predictions may be of The Form; Technological Innovations, Poetry of Future Tragedies, Name Dropping that Suggests Uncanny Synchronicity or Flat out Dreams of Future Events. 

May include predictions made by ‘Aliens’ along with Substantial Details about The Aliens themselves, Including Their Religious Beliefs, Mathematics, Physics & so on; All of which would be ‘Verified’ by The Predictions which are impossibly Accurate.

Then plant them in Libraries, Old Book Stores, Attics with lots of curious gee-gaw that would surely attract additional attention, around The Country or Around The World. 

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Acts of Gawd

Very often; ( Very Very Often ) Bad things happen to people & ‘What can ya’ do?’

You just have to accept it, Or— Blame someone, even though it was An Act of Gawd, or ‘Arranged by Angels’ ( Ξ.6 Controllers / Pixies ).

But there is another Class of ‘Accidents’ that work in The Other Direction.

These are ‘Good’ or Beneficial Things that happen to People, By these Acts of Gawd / Ξ.6 Controllers ( Pixies ).

Occasionally; These ‘Good’ or Beneficial Things happen without clear causality, But on Other Occasions; The Causality is Clearly Known ( UnAmbiguously ).

- - 

Now.

The ‘MindSet’ that i would like to ‘Recommend’ is When these things happen in such & such a way so that ‘Proud’ People are in The Path of ‘Goodness’ that overruns them occasionally; They simply accept it with The Same Defeatist Heavy Heart that they Assume when Bad Things happen to them.

A Case in Point that i’m thinking of here is The Case of 

Celina Cass Missing 11_yo / July 2011 / Found in a Watery Grave

That featured that Goofy Front Tooth.

This feature, by The way, is actually fairly common ! i seem to run into people with this crazy tooth much more often than i think i should be ( ? ) 

What if one of her early teachers decided to Act ‘Under The Table’ without Permission from Anyone to pay for The Dental Treatments to fix that. The Problem(s that would incur, would be that everyone ‘concerned’ would have to ‘Allow’ this to happen. People would have to assume ‘Responsibility’ for this, Even if it was very Passive. Even if all they had to do, after becoming ‘Aware’ of what was taking place, would be to look asunder, & ignore it. That would be ‘Too Much’ for them to Bear, Fearing that if anything Untowards happened; They would be held ‘Accountable’. It would be far easier ( & by their way of thinking; More Responsible ) to just say No. 

The School Board would obviously be afraid of a Lawsuit against them, & The Parents; Poor White Trash; May be ‘Offended’ by taking Charity. 

This ‘New’ Position would be ‘Just let The Pixies do their Work.’ Look The Other Way, & Allow good things to happen to you & your own.

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Using Indians as Mascots

There was just now a story on The Radio about A High School that was using ‘Native Americans’ as Their Mascots.

Presumably; They did this not as a sign of Disrespect; But as a Homage to Their Mythical Beliefs of The Noble Savage.

The Correct Solution would be to :

A ) Call their Mascots/Totem/ by Their Correct Tribal Name

B ) Use Costumes that Reflect The True Tribal Accouterments 

C ) Learn some Correct Tribal Songs, Rather than Using Faux Language Approximations.

D ) Receive a ‘Blessing’ by A Local Tribal Medicine Man to make The School ‘Honorary’ Tribal Members, So long as they Aspire to The Nobelist Ethical Tenets of Their Tribal Culture & Heritage. 

E ) Use some other Identification for The Mascots; Than ‘Mascots’ ( ? / Which seems to have a connotation of ‘Pets’. ( Spirit Totems ) ?

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High Stakes Poker 

with Professional Players

Two Ideas for Playing High Stakes Poker with Professional Players.

A ) Much of The Strategy comes from Reading The Other Players, You look at your Cards, they look at you & decide if you have a good hand or not. To Escape this Strategy, Don’t look at your Cards, look at The other Players, & Play your hand as if it was another Player’s, whose cards you can’t see anyway. They Can’t Read you, & have no idea if your cards are good or not, but you know The Odds & If they have good cards or not !

B ) If you have a Potentially Good Hand, Show The other players all your cards except one, The Keystone Card. It’s best if There are Several Good Possibilities for The KeyStone Card, That way, if Another Player has one of The Possibly Good KeyStone Cards, there are Others that they still don’t know about. The Advantage of this Strategy is To Simply Scare off The Other Players & Collect The Unclaimed, Unplayed Pot. 

: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - : o

Other more Obvious Strategies :

C ) False Tells. Create mannerisms that you consciously use to let The other players know if you have a good hand or not, Tells for when you’re bluffing, Tells for when you are Unsure & so on, then ⅔’s of The way into The Night, Mix them up. 

D ) Do your Research, or short of that; Create ‘Buttons’ for The Other Players if you know who you’re going to be playing against. In The Case of Research, find Troubling Elements from their past that you might then ‘drop’ in an Innocent manner, referring only indirectly to these things that would genuinely upset or distract The other players. If Research isn’t possible or convenient, & you have sufficient time to ‘Make’ Buttons for The other players, hire confederates to create Situations involving The Selected Players that end with Trauma or Confusion, that you would then ‘Drop’ in an Innocent manner during The Game to Confuse or Discombobulate them. 

E ) Wear an Electronic Device that emits a high pitched ‘BEEP’ at random intervals. The High Frequency will make it difficult to localize it, & The Beep will Confuse them, as they try to figure out what it’s significance is?

F ) 

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Who is Crazy?

i am genuinely ( really ) confused by this question:

Am i The Crazy one, The One ( ? ) crazy ( -iest ) person in The World ¹ 

Or Is it that; The World is Crazy?

- -

Which would you prefer to believe is true about yourself?

Of course; If The Majority of your opinions & beliefs were shared by The General Population, then this dilemma wouldn’t be applicable.

But in my Case; My Beliefs are Very much The Opposite of The General Population & Established Institutions.

This is further complicated by The Observation that if The World was Crazy; 

How could it Possibly be so Apparently Functional; 

And why is my own situation so ‘Agreeable’ ?

If The World were The Crazy Ones; Then This Entire World must necessarily have been The Product of an ‘Arrangement’ of Astonishing Detail & Execution. The most plausible Explanation would then be that this is a Fractional ScreenSaver Reality, 

And my participation is to Observe my Actions & ReActions to This Imposed Purgatory of Madness. 

The Far more ‘Reasonable’ Explanation, That requires far fewer ‘Constraints’ & ‘Imposed Particulars’, Is that i am The Crazy One, but then; This implies, Very Necessarily, that all of my thoughts are ‘IllLogical’ & as i often suspect, Incomprehensible to Others. 

- - 

¹ It is certainly true that there are lots of crazy people in The World, But a HallMark of being crazy, is that they are all crazy in their own way. If indeed, you were to locate a group or Class or localized class or distributed ² Class of people that were all crazy in a very particular way; Like all Aspergerians are ‘odd’ in a particular way; What would that mean? 

² If you able to locate a Distributed Class of ‘Crazy’ people that were all Crazy in a Particular Way— That would be very interesting. It might be very easy to explain away an entire Polynesian Island of Crazy Individuals, but if a Particular Class of Crazy people were Distributed all over The World, & they all believed a very particular set of ‘Facts’, One might well be pressed to explain how they all came to believe these things. Further; These people can’t simply belong to a given Religion or somesuch, they would all have to be ‘UnConnected’ to one another by any observable or measurable method.  

This situation is ‘allegedly’ pertinent to Flying Saucer Abductees that are well distributed around The World & all Agree on Specific Details of An Abduction Experience. It might well be that they’re all reading The Same Flying Saucer Literature, but Examination of this Possibility seems to discount it. They are Certainly Not getting these details from The Popular Culture; such as TV or Movies, which get all these details Wrong— & Further; The ‘Genuine’ Abduction Cases Omit Details from The Popular Media Representations of Contact with Extraterrestrials. 

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Time Traveling Child

This might be even more effective if The Father were to ReCreate The Age Progression Picture Every Year, from a Contemporary Picture; So that as The Target Date Approaches, The Resemblance becomes closer & Closer. 

The Target Image might also be a Group Picture, with all The Individuals Age Progressed, Including A House in The Background that is Changed to Match The Features in The Photograph, Including Coats & such there were purchased at The inception of The project & stored in a Safe Deposit Box, preventing any chance of Discovery. 

In The Event that one of The Characters Dies; The Remaining Pranksters need to find a replacement person that resembles The person in The Photograph. In each Renewal of The Image; The Replacement person is made to more closely resemble The Target Figure. 

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Taming Wild Animals

There was just a bit on The Radio about The Domestication of Dogs, & to Test The Manner by Which Dogs are Domesticated/Tamed; They decided to Domesticate Foxes, & managed to tame them in only 10 Generations by simply selecting The Foxes, as Adults, that were ‘friendliest’ with Humans.

Could this be used with Other Animals, & using this method, save many of The world ‘endangered’ animals by making them into perfectly viable Pets. 

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i also want to breed Coelacanths down to The size of large goldfish, & allow them to live in ‘low pressure’ water. / Possibly even create a fresh Water Coelacanth ( ? 

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Might it be possible to breed a ’Small’ version of a hammerhead shark ?

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Or Fishtank sized Dolphins ? / You’ve got Lions & Tigers The Size of Mice ( Called Mice )! 

So why not Dolphins or Whales that Size of Guinea Pigs. ?

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Might it be possible to breed very small humans ?

Would their Intelligence suffer ? 

If you could breed a GI Joe / Barbie sized person & they seemed just as Intelligent as an ‘Average’ person; That would pretty much kill The ‘Bigger Brain’ Theory of Intelligence & suggest that it must be ( ? ) Cerebral Structure, Language Acquisition, Upright Walking, Symbolic Thinking or NeoNatal Reversion that’s responsible for human intelligence & Tool Making. 

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TV Show ( Pre Internet )

A TV Show that Ran before The Internet; Before Information could be so easily shared as with The Internet— 

In this ‘Time’ ( before The Internet ) Clues have to be shared through a Variety of Other Methods, As No One Person ( In Reality - But in Theory ) could know all The Clues to Solve (x. 

The TV show is a Series; Such that Each Episode is 10 Minutes long, & comes on at ‘Random’ intervals throughout The Week; But each Episode provide you with The Time of The Next Episode, but in a Deeply Encoded Form.

Each Episode consists of some Regular Characters & A Steady Introduction of New Characters that Come & Go. The Stage of their Activity is always Different, & by Their Actions & Dialogue, Along with Peripheral Activities; Clues to Solve (x are Provided.

Solving (x leads to a Prize of UnImaginable Value.

There is Much Speculation as to What The Prize is.

The Series runs ( Ran ) for 6 Months & The Solution was Discovered.

The Winner & The Prize were never Disclosed.

The Solution to The Clues was Never Revealed. 

Years later; All The Clues were Compiled & put into a Book. This all occurred before The Episodes could have been Digitally Recorded. There are some Films made of some of The Episodes, But only about 20% of them. No other Records consist of any of The Episodes, No Scripts or Screen Plays or Business Records of The Making of The Series.

The only Record that was available to The Compilers of The Book were interviews with Thousands of people that Followed The Series, & many more that only saw a few Episodes. 

The Solution that The Book Thinks is True is that The Prize was A Method to Return To The Garden of Eden & Enter it, after Adam & Eve were Thrown Out. The Winner & One Guest would be given Immortality & could live Naked there, Innocent of Morality & Ethical Conundrums, And being allowed to Speak with Gawd as you would with a Taxi Driver.

This Eden; According to The Series; Still Exists today; Filled with These Two Winners, & All their Children & Grandchildren. Somewhere; Obvious. In this World. 

And if you could find it; If you could demonstrate your potential for True Innocence; you would be allowed to Enter, & live with Gawd & The Angels, Safe from The Chaos of The Natureal World. 

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Plus other Surprises. 

What is The True Role of Satan ?

What is; & how does Freewill Work ?

How to These Immortal Innocents live ?

Are all The Animals Vegetarians ?

Do they sleep in The Grass every night, or were they allowed to build houses ?

Is Sex Pleasurable, or only performed as an arduous Task to Make Babies that are very much desired. 

Is Their Poop & Pee The Same as our Poop & Pee ?

What is The Test for Innocence ?

What is Missing from their World that seems to us, Axiomatic & Elemental to our Freedom ?

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Mischievious ideas for 

The Academy Awards

Two friends are each nominated for an Oscar, in The event that one wins, The other jumps up from their seat screaming; ‘You’re Dead to Me you Cheating Thief, You Bastard, You Lying Bastard!’ Then runs up on The Stage & Wrestles with their Friend for The Statue. 

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A new winner, a young actor that somehow wins more than one Oscar, comes to The After Party Celebration with Duplicates ( much lighter than The Actual Oscars ) with holes drilled in The tops of their heads, & is wearing them as a necklace.

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All sorts of Crazy Dresses or Tuxedos

Tuxedo Tie that Changes Color

Peacock Tail that Comes out from Behind a Dress or Tuxedo

Really Huge Angel Wings that come out from Behind a Dress or Tuxedo, being invisible, undetectable until The effect is activated, by compressing The feathers & inflating them as they are deployed, should have articulated armatures to allow them to flap subtly, & then retract, becoming completely invisible again.

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Director or Producer that wins makes a duplicate Oscar for everyone involved in The film. 

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i’d like to thank everyone that came within 30 feet of me in last three years while i was working on this film, as i’m sure that you’ve influenced me in some way.

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Real -Oscars-  ‘’’’’

Set up a Website & allow a wide spectrum of people to Vote for how likely they think a given film will be popular in 3, 5, 7, 10 or 20 years. When The Voters log in to The Site, they first fill out an extensive questionnaire, & as The years go by; The People that have Voted most Accurately are Quantified as ‘Good Guessers’ & thereafter; The Good Guessers are expected to be able to choose The Best, Most Popular Films for all time.

This Project Anticipates that The Damp Masses, which invariably only watch bad, mediocre or Tepid Films that have been overly promoted, Will not being watching these ‘Old’ films in The Future— So that only ‘Smart’ or ‘Refined’ People will be ‘Rating’ these Older Films; So that These Popular Old Films Really are The Best Ones. 

So that The Good Guessers Class of Predictors ( Which are Never told that they have this ‘Power’ ) will pick The Winners Each year for The Oscars. 

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If it’s not clear from this; The Good Guessers are Not Individual People that are Selected; But a =Class= of People which have various ( Unexpected or Unpredictable ) Attributes which they all ( Mostly ) Share. There may also be Various Classes of Good Guessers, Each of which are Self Similar within their Class, But quite Disparate from The Other Classes. 

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Life Reviews

Would this make ‘People’ or Police Officers -More- Crazy or Less so ?

Every Thursday; In The Morning ( ± ) Shift Meeting for The Polices officers, before they’re sent out that day; They’re presented with a Very Short Video/Media Presentation of A Life Review of someone, from their childhood, considering their ‘Normal’ Life, De-Emphasizing any Craziness or Trouble that The Person may have experienced, But including a few hardships or whatever; Ending with The News that this person was recently murdered in such & such circumstances. Hopefully; The Officers will be sufficiently outraged & Vow to Catch The Son’o-BeechTree that did this; & then they’re told The Name of This wonderful person that was murdered; was slaughtered in a hail of bullets by several police officers or a single police officer under dubious circumstances— Either locally or somewhere else in The Country. 

After you’d played this Trick on them a couple of Times; Would they ‘Catch On’ that Summarily Murdering people is Bad, or would they become embittered & Not give a damn about anyone. 

( ? )

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As a short side note to this; i find it fascinating that invariably in cases like this; 

Such as : Tyisha Miller & Amadou Diallo; They were murdered in a Virtual & Literal Hail of Bullets. 

In Diallos case, An unarmed black man that was standing about 3 feet away from The Officers, & must have fallen to The ground & lay there, complete inert, after The first few bullets struck him, endured 40 or more rounds, many of which missed him, ( from only a few feet away ). In Miller’s case; She was sleeping in her car & was murdered by some 20 Officers that opened fire on her, after more than a half hour of trying to awaken her. In both cases; The Officers reported that they had never been so afraid [ of The Victim ] in all their lives. 

It is my proposal that ‘Most’ Police officers use Blanks or ‘Rubber’ Bullets if they are not ‘Crack’ Shots. These Blanks & Rubber Bullets will allow them to provide ‘Cover’ or Intimidate a Suspect & allow The Accompanying Officer(s to take one or two shots that Effectively resolve an Impossible Situation in which Gunplay is determined, by Rational Minds, to be Necessary. 

Should it thereafter become Necessary for The ‘Badshot’ Officers to used ‘Live’ Rounds, they will be available to them on their Belts, but these would not be their First Tier Solution Armament. 

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Messing with Capital Punishment

You obtain All of The Police, Prosecution & Court Records of a Convicted Murderer without anyone knowing that you have done this. The Convicted Murderer is then Executed & you confess that you are The Actual Murderer. Your story is entirely consistent with all The Evidence & you additionally add a convincing & logical manner by which The Convicted man was thought to have committed The Murder. 

Legally; You can not be prosecuted for this Murder; But you have to endure The jeers & death threats of many self styled vigilantes. The Police & Prosecutors are burned in effigy & public opinion results in many of them being fired, & many law suits are brought against them resulting in millions of dollars in settlements.  

After making millions of dollars from book & movie deals, you confess that your confession was bogus; & you write another book about The fiasco. It is Also a best Seller, but you have since disappeared & changed your identity. 

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It might be noted that a common ’Scientific’ Aphorism may be applicable here; ‘Any Theory or Explanation ( or Confession ) that Fits all The Data, Must be Wrong, Because some of The Data is Invariably Spurious.’ ( ! )

As such; A Truly ‘Authentic’ Confession should have some elements that ‘Believably’ deviate from The Recorded Documentation. The Confession should include, of course; Some Items that The Police & Other Investigators insist could =Only= have been known to The Actual & Authentic Killer. ( ? )

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Murderabilia

Create an extensive body of Gifted ( Genius ) Artwork by a Serial Killer, with full documentation & a Wikipedia Article to support The existence of this Killer. The Collection Would include numerous newspaper clippings, News Reels, Scientific Papers of her Unique Psychological Condition, Rare Biographical Books … ( ?

The Reason why She ( ! ) is so little known is that 5 of her victims were Minor Celebrities of The 1940s that had The resources at that time to suppress news stories of Their Gruesome & Ritualistic Murders. 

References to her artwork & life & The murders will be distributed throughout many ‘Inactive’ ( Hacked ) Blogs which are Full & Complete ( Genuine Blogs ) Internet Logs & Diaries of Real People. 

So that 5 or so years after The release of The big Coffee Table book, there will be absolutely No Doubt by Anyone that she was a Real Person & these Murders actually took Place !

Complete Biographical Details of All of her Victims, their Surviving Relatives & ? 

A Song(s Written about her in The 1950s with Sheet music available in many older music Stores throughout The Midwest. Plus a Recording of it on a 45 by a Dead, Yet SemiFamous Musician of that Era.  

Additional Murderabilia is available online to collectors. 

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Nom de plume

A Beloved & Well Known Children’s Author is Also A Cutting Edge, Socially Heretical Adult Material Comedian; Under a Different Name.

So The Comedian has a Different Name & Dresses Differently while on Stage, 

But other than these two things, S’he makes no Effort to Present themselves as a Different Person. 

When asked if they’re really this other person; They present official documents to demonstrate that they are x ² & not x ¹.

Both take great care not to have to use any of these documents from either x ¹ or x ² in any Official Capacity. 

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Offensive Song on TV

You are The Lead Singer & Road Manager of a A Band that gets invited to do a song on a Popular Morning TV Show. You pick one of your most popular songs, which has lines in several different languages, all concerning a theme of world peace, love, acceptance & such. The Producer of The TV Show likes The Song, but their legal department is concerned about The Lyrics in The foreign languages, so you provide for them a Song Sheet with all The Lyrics & Their Translated meanings. Just to be sure; They hire a few Linguists to come in & listen to a recording of The song while following along with The Song Sheet. They all confirm that while some of The lyrics are poorly articulated, they are consistent with The Song Sheet & that The Translations provided are accurate.

You go The show & perform The song live.

Later; there is a huge Brouhaha over it, as it contained line after line, many in english that were The most offensive lyrics ever put into any song, ever heard.

You then take a recording of The live performance & compare that to The Recording that The legal Department cleared, & a jury decides that they two versions are virtually identical. 

Nevertheless The FCC & Foreign Governments insist that The Band & Producers of The Show be extradited to face serious criminal charges of international slander & pornographic content.

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Granted; Each line is carefully crafted to be amazingly ambiguous, depending upon The mindset of The Listener, their fluency in a given language & their willingness or preparedness to be offended. Many hear The lyrics as being reasonably benign, while others find many lines, words or phrases to be regional idioms that refer to amazingly offensive topics. 

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Laughing Gas / weeping Gas

Hire some Young Actors ( ? ) that can Laugh or Weep Hysterically on Command.

Then load a few dozen of these people onto a Bus or Subway Car & then Introduce a Disheveled Man in a Filthy Lab Coat that Sprays each of these Actors with a Benign Water Mist; After which they begin to Laugh or Weep ( Depending upon The Scenario / So that they are all Laughing or Weeping ) Hysterically. They The Disheveled man leaves The Area & runs off. But The Actors are Left behind, Laughing or Weeping continuously, Even after Aid Workers or Rescue personal arrive, they can not stop. 

News Spreads of The Mad Gasser.

- - -

The Experiment Wonders; After this one well publicized Incident; Will there be more, uncontrolled Incidents ? 

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Disappearing Infrasounds

Might it be possible to Create a Song with a Background Infrasound that Disappears when The Listener ( with their iPod ) is in an environment that features that Naturally occurring Sound Range. When This Layered sound disappears because your brain filters it out along with The Naturally occurring Sound of That Type & Range; A previously hidden message can be heard. 

It’s important That The Infrasound on The Song doesn’t sound ‘Like’ The Sound The Sound that Blocks it out ( ??? ) A + B = White Noise that The Brain Filters Out. 

Background Conversation

Traffic Sounds

Airplane flying over

Applause

Children Playing 

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The Net Effect is that The Listener to this Song, that they have heard many times, will suddenly ‘Hear’ The Message which should be Odd & Disturbing, But when they back it up to let someone else hear it, it will have ‘Disappeared’. 

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Aerosolize Semen

If it’s possible to Aerosolize Deadly Bacteria & Virus into a Weapon, 

Then it should be just as easy to ‘Store’ Sperms in Gobulettes that can be added to Soapsuds that would inseminate hundreds or thousands of women taking baths, many of which are bound to be young girls with their Hymens intact. 

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Subliminal Mass Hysteria at A High School

Install Several Dozen Subliminal Projectors in Various Well Populated Areas or Classrooms that Flash a Message Like: 

ON THURSDAY - AFTER THE TEN OCLOCK BELL, THERE WILL BE A MICROWAVE ATTACK THAT WILL CAUSE YOU TO FAINT FOR TEN MINUTES

Or Another that Says :

ON THURSDAY - AFTER THE TEN OCLOCK BELL; THERE WILL BE A GAS ATTACK THAT WILL CAUSE HYSTERICAL LAUGHING FOR 20 MINUTES.

Flash This every 15 Minutes or So for 3 Days before The Event. 

Consequences : ?

NoOne in The School, Administrators, Teachers or Students should know about The Scheme, & The Projectors should be well camouflaged. 

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The Idea behind a Subliminal Projector is to Flash an Image for something like a hundredth of a Second or Less, Far too short for The Conscious Mind to Recognize that any sort of Flash even Occurred.

It was somewhat popularized in The 1970s, Esp. in an Episode of Columbo, that this can be achieved by inserting a Message into a single frame of a film, but this duration is far too long, allowing even The most distracted viewer to easily see that ‘something’ anomalous flashed during The principle Viewing Material. 

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If this Message is too long;

Perhaps it can be broken into Pieces; 

TEN OCLOCK

BELL

LAUGH

( ? )

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Casino Busting

Go to a Casio that will ‘Lend’ you money if you run out.

Then Loose a stupendous amount of money, say a half a million Dollars.

A half a million that you’ve just borrowed from The Casino,

Then using Counting Cards or Poker Strategies, Win in all back, in Spades.

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Attacking Smart ( AssHoles )

Let’s say you’re at a party, & you’re a girl, & you come across a intellectual that you don’t like. This person is a genuine smart person, but their opinions are stupid.

How do you tell them, & everyone else, that their position is stupid without simply screaming at them?

Present yourself as an interested, polite, diminutive listener to establish yourself in their circle. 

Make it clear to everyone that you’re borderline mentally retarded. 

Everything that you say is just wrong, but you’re saying these things in a passive, mildly witty manner to be entertaining.

When The Intellectual Asshole then Reasserts their Principle Stupid Opinion—

ReState Exactly what they just said, In your own, Original Phrasing, So that it appears to be an Opinion that you’ve held for many years. 

Wait for The Response.

Build on that.

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PRison Break Out

Locate the Best Side of The Prison to Hold The Break Out from

Tell Only The Person(s that The Break is Coming, & Give them Short Notice, Such as  A Day or Less to Keep Gossip & Leaks to a Minimum.

Then Shower The Prison Break ‘Side’ with Fireworks, Firecrackers & such to Clear The Area,

Then simply bomb A Pathway through to The Prison Proper, cutting through fences, walls, guard towers & such that will allow a flood of prisoners to rush out to waiting helicopters, armored vans, speed boats, light aircraft & such. 

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Celebrity Wedding

A Famous Celebrity or Pair of Celebrities decide to get married, then reveal that they are going to have a huge blow out wedding, but don’t want The Paparazzi to crash it. They will have their own Photographers, but they will follow a rigid set of rules so that they don’t annoy The Wedding Party or Guests.

To be sure that they will be allowed to invite 300 of their own best friends & Family, they send out thousands of invitations to people that they don’t want to invite, but these invitations direct The NotGuests to An Alternative Party. The Alt.Party is set out in The woods someplace & intended to be a fiasco of sorts, with nude bride & groom, crazy food & such.

The Real Guests are sent a burn phone that is intended to be used once, then discarded or given to a homeless person without a phone, or sent back to (x in a return envelope that is provided. 

The Real Guests are not told where The Wedding will be held until The last minute, & The First Location is A Red Herring, where spies will determine if The person that received a given location immediately told The paparazzi where it would be held. Real Guests that pass The First Test will be then told where The Wedding is, but The Directions will take them there in a round about way, so that it’s not apparent that a lot of celebrities are heading to a single location. 

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Friday, August 9, 2013 9:34:56 AM

How Illegal Would this Be ?

Find Single Women with Young Daughters, Then Induce The Women to leave & Start their own lives afresh, find new husbands & start a new family; leaving The young girls with you. 

It seems to me that The girls would be left in your custody for an undisclosed period of time & that that should be perfectly proper & reasonable.

When you take them to start at a new school, you mention that they may appear to be precociously sexual, as they live in a nudist household & that you are a compulsive masturbator. 

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,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.-:*'``'*:-.,_,.

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Swimming around The World

Diana Niad ( ? ) is again trying to swim from Florida to Cuba,

But how hard would it be to swim from California to Hawai`i 

Or Swim around The World.

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How far has anyone ever run in one casual jog ?

How far is it around The World ?

How long would you have to stay awake ?

How elegantly could The Swimmer be protected from Sharks & Jellyfish ?

Niad is using a ‘New & Improved’ Full Body Silicon Wet Suit that Includes a Face Mask; But how might this allow her to breath, & simultaneously, protect her Lips & Nostrils ?

Would it be advantageous To Wait for Each Wave to Pass Under you, Then Swim Down from The Top, Wait, Swim Down, Wait, Swim Down ?

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Soft Murderous RAmpage

i’ve been thinking for some time that it would be fun to go on a murderous rampage with Robots that would be designed to unerringly shoot it’s victims right between The eyes.

But of course; such a scheme would result in lots of sadness.

So a slight alternative to this horrific plan would be to replace The conventional guns with paint-ball guns !

Imagine a few dozen such robots with spider like legs scurrying around a crowded amphitheater or some such, blasting away with red-paint-balls, causing stampedes which results in many children & pregnant women being trampled. 

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What should be Criminal ?

Should it be criminal to bounce a nine year old girl on your knee ?

Should it be criminal for an uncle to pat their niece on The Butt ?

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Click click click

The worst thing that can happen to a police officer or gun-slinger is to be caught out of bullets ! Especially if they’re in a close quarters chase, & say; coming around a corner, The police officer has The drop on a suspect that has already killed several victims, The police officer summarily opens fire without making any attempt to arrest The ‘Perp’. But instead of Bang Bang Bang, The Criminal hears; Click Click Click !

They then pull out Their own weapon & shoots The police officer.

Another situation is that The ‘Perp’ is ‘Somewhere’ close by, hiding behind ‘Something’ So that The Police officer arranges The bullets in his revolver so that they can fire Two Rounds; Bang Bang, in no particular directions, Then; click click; Having left Two Empty Round Chambers, Then as The Suspect jumps up to take a ‘Free Shot’, The police officer uses The last Round or Two to bring down The Scum-Bag.

Today however; Few Officers or Gun Slingers use Revolvers. They hold only a few Rounds & are very tedious to reload, even if you’re exchanging Chamber Cartridges.

So that The Very Clever Police Officer or Gun Slinger ( Who is a Very Good Shot, & Never just Shoots Wildly ) Carefully counts all their Fired Shots in a Shoot out or Chase, So that they Know when they’ve reached The Bottom of their ‘Clip’ where they have placed two Empty Cartridges, that produce The Distinctive ‘Click Click’ Sound, & after those are Expended; There are Two Live Rounds.

If The police officer is unconcerned with using The Click Click Strategy, These two Empty Rounds will effectively reveal that they are nearly out of bullets, even if they haven’t been counting or have lost count.

: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - : o

Another even Crazier Approach to this is to have a button or latch on your gun which when set, will ‘Mis-Fire’ Three Rounds or More Preferably; Not fire or discharge any rounds, but merely produce a very convincing Click Click Click Sound. 

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Native American Warrior Priest 

To The Best of My Knowledge; None of The Native American Tribes ever developed anything like their own Unique Fighting Technique. The Closest that i’ve ever seen anything along these lines, is ‘Indian Wrestling’ & if that’s anything like Indian Music, it’s severely undeveloped.

Wouldn’t it be fun to Invent one.

You’d gather together several Native American Athletes, Bring in some Gymnasts, Ballerinas, Martial Artists from many different Disciplines, Physiologists, Mathematicians & Physicists; All of which have no Ties to Their Heritage, Or Anything like respect for The Old Ways or Anything at all; & Create a New Martial Arts that The Native Americans can call their own.

- - 

Problem One :

Although this would be sold as an Ancient Marital Arts Technique, Handed down through The Centuries, Originally Created by The Little People that were The Mound Builders— Obviously NoOnes ever heard of it.

Solution : This Art was never meant for The ‘Lay’ Tribal Warrior, It was created & Used only by A Select Group of Medicine Myn & MidWifes that had a Superior Knowledge of Natural Magick With an Affiliation that Connected them to A Grander Holistic Union with The Universe. Although they were members of various given tribes, they used this Mystical Knowledge for a Greater Good that stretched far beyound The Blood Relatives that they Shared Biologically. 

As Such; Many of The Highest Chiefs & Medicine Myn would not know about this. 

It is The Native American’s Version of The Illuminatii, Freemasonry, The Rothchilds or Wiccans, but Mixed that all up with The Knights Templar, Samurai Warriors, Kung Fu Masters &/or Jedi Knights. 

Their Magic was Real, Based on The Flora & Fauna that they had a Superiour Chemical Knowledge of, Understanding of Material Arts, Human & Animal Physiology, Simple Machines & How to Use Natural Forces.

- -  

One Facet of this Grand Library of Knowledge was this Fighting Technique that they developed to Ward off Grizzly Bears, Timber Wolves, Rabid Badgers, ThunderBirds, Drunken Brutes, Stampedes of Buffalo or Bison, Dæmon Possessed Chickens, Swarms of Bees or Ants, Dust Storms & How to Avoid Lightning. 

: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - : o 

The Process of Developing this New Martial Arts Method would be use The Core Group of Advisors ( See Above ) to Create a Core Base of Techniques; Then Share this & The Underlying Philosophy ( ? ) of this ‘Art’ with all The Other Central Committees for all The Other Tribes for Free. They would then be instructed to take this Core Base & Develop their Own Flavor of The Art, with their own Name for it, & then open their own facilities to teach it to Native Americans & Others of their Choice. 

: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - : o

The Principle Inclusive Idea behind this, would be that it’s entirely Unique & Not at all Derivative of other previous Martial Arts. 

It would also have its own multitude of very unique Weapons, Costumes, Medicine Methods, Taboos, Language, Astrology & Alchemy, Origin Myths, Cyptids, Alien Lore, Art & Music, Body Decorations, Prose Poems, Children’s Monsters & Cures for Pink Eye. 

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Explosive Prank

Fill a Balloon with an Explosive Gas ( Gasoline, Propane or Hydrogen ) so that The Balloon is about 3 inches across, then drop it in a wastebasket that you can’t see into The Receptacle along a street, So that when someone drop a cigarette Butt into it, it will explode !

Har Har ! ( ! )

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You’ve Been BlackListed !

You’re a Boss over a Few Dozen Employees & because you hire from The bottom of The Barrel, you often have to fire people, & occasionally, during The Firing Process, The Fireree will give you a little ‘Lip’ or be Additionally Disrespectful, So you then Inform them that you will Now BlackList them in that State so that they won’t be able to get a job at TacoTime scrubbing their Restroom floors. 

You then take them over to a Fax Machine where you’ve pulled up their Employee File, Taken their picture & attached it to a Prepared form that features their Picture, Name & Personal Information, then A Huge List of Recipients Pops up & Scrolls on & On & On as a little window keeps popping up, Sent, Sent, Sent, Sent... 

- - - 

If you don’t really want to annoy all these other businesses & possibly open yourself up to expensive litigation, you might want to create a bit of prank software that presents this effect to The Fired Ex-Employee. 

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Recruitment App for Criminal Organization

A Criminal Mastermind creates an App that is A Personality Inventory, IQ Tester, Criminal Potential Determiner, Ethical Grader & So on; And The App is very fun to use, answering lots of fun, silly & provocative Questions. There is also a Feature which allows you to take The test in Conjunction with Other People, Friends or Strangers, & then HookUp with Others that have a Similar Personality Type & Interests.

The Real Purpose of The App though is to Find People that aren’t yet Genuine Criminals, but may be willing to do UnEthical Deeds for Fun or Profit. 

It might also determine if an App Client is Not Prone to UnEthical Behaviour, but is Fundamentally Naive or Gullible & would be willing to perform unusual jobs if they were reasonably certain that they were not breaking The law or hurting anyone.

- - - 

The Particular Application for this that i was thinking of; Came about when i noticed that my old TV that is still capable of receiving channels on The VHF ( or UHF ) Bandwidths, They appear to be completely Empty ?

Wouldn’t it be fun to Broadcast on a Pirate TV Station, with The Most Horrific Illegal Porn that is Available. ( ! )

But — Where to get this Porn from ?

You could try The Internet, but there are always those annoying Sting Operations & even if you were very careful, & set up dead-drops & Fake Mailing Addresses, This might only act as a Challenge to The Police trying to catch you !

Instead; Why not just go to a Porn Library ! 

Where is a Porn Library ?

The Police probably have one, or it may be at a specific location at The county seat or someplace else. So you first have to determine where it is; & if The ones you’ve located are extensive enough to encourage you to proceed with your looting of it.

Next : Who has access to this Library ? The Police ? Authorized Academics that are doing bona-fide research ? How does someone receive Authorization ? 

The App Mentioned above would be used to help you find someone that is in a position to receive this authorization, enter The library & return valuable information about how an unauthorized can enter The library to remove The good stuff ! ( ! ) 

It may be as simple as arranging for your ’Authorized’ Employee to make copies of Digitalized Materials or Merely Transmitting The Material to an Offsite Repository by Email. 

It may be necessary to arrange things so that you Stooge has a Reasonable Deniability of How The Material that could be linked to this Library, did not come from them. There may be a more conventional ‘Burglary’ of The Site that would just as easily explain The Loss of The Material. 

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Folk songs Performed Live 

during The Holidays 

It seems to me that if you’re a Folk Singer ( with a Guitar or Such ) & you like to sing Traditional Folk Songs during The Holidays, you should always give them a personal Twist, Adding or Changing Verses or Using a Borrowed Melody from another Song, which is always a lot of fun. 

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Ghost Phone

You’re having some friends or Relatives over to your house for a few days, & one of them happens to notice that you have a land line phone, which they take note of, & you then reveal that it was disconnected years ago, & if they pick up The receiver, it is in fact completely dead. 

Then you arrange for you to go someplace without them some evening, perhaps a stormy night, & during that time, The phone rings in The dead of The Night !

When they pick it up, it will sound like dæmons from hell, far away with eerie weird music with screams & so on. 

Naturally; when you return, if they’re still there, The phone is dead again.

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TRAINING OLYMPIANS

When you’re training Olympians; You mustn’t allow your primadonnas to think that they’re already good enough ! 

In such cases The Hungry young Newbies know that if they’re going to win, they’re going to have to exceed The best performances of what was done last week.

So that’s what you need to convince your athletes of; That there’s another Athlete in Country (x that is performing at a level that is far beyound what they’re doing now. 

This will require The Coaches to created Faux Videos of ‘Athletes’ performing impossible tricks & feats. 

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Steal a Plane

Monday, March 17, 2014 7:02:09 AM

Regarding The Recent ‘Mysterious’ Disappearance of Flight 270 in The Indian Ocean.

How would you ‘Steal’ an Aircraft of this Size.

It was ( obviously ) landed somewhere, but where ?

At an Airport ? Not Likely. If even it was a small airport, there would have been enough witnesses to have reported it by now.

How can you ‘Safely’ land a large commercial airplane like this on The Ocean, in a Lake or along a River ?

The Aircraft is flown by a confederate in The Plane to a Predesignated Area or Landing ‘Strip’, A Boat releases a ‘Lasso’ held in place with Balloons which The Aircraft then flies into. The FauxPilot then Applies The Reverse Thrusters, while The Lasso is connected to a Large or Combination of Parachutes that slow The plane down to 40_mph or so, During this time, The plane is brought down to a very low altitude, & when it drops from The sky from Stalling, it lands on a Floating Mattress, which is then towed to a hidden area that can Not be identified from Satellites or Air Searches. 

Mischief ensues. 

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Devious Chess Board PUzzle

There is a Chess Board Puzzle that’s done with Dominoes 

Such that you first ask The Dupe to cover The Chess board with The Dominoes, which is very easy to do.

Then you put The Two Queens on The Corner Spots, covering up two Squares, or One Dominoes worth of Squares & then ask The Dupe to repeat The previous assignment of covering all The Squares with The Dominoes.

This time it is impossible, because The Two Squares covered were The Same Color. 

The Dominoes require that there are equal numbers of black & white Squares to work.

- - 

The Devious Trick is to Create a Chess Board that is 8 ⊗ 9 Squares, & has all The Chess Pieces set up so that it looks perfectly normal, Then arrange for a Mathematician to Challenge a ‘Dupe’ to this Puzzle, which the Dupe is Able to Solve with The Queens in Place, which will cause The Mathematician to have a heart attack. 

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Faux Key

You have a Key to a lock that is very fancy. Fancy in many respects.

This Key is clearly & Unambiguously associated with & will UnLock & Given Door,

but The Mischievous Part is that The Key does Not open The Lock, The Key Chain does. ! 

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Evil Birthday Present

There is someone, possibly a child in your neighborhood that you don’t like at all, for very good reasons ( ! ) & you learn that this child is having a blow out birthday party.

You arrange for another ( innocent child that has no knowledge of your evil plot, or even that The present that they are delivering for you, came from you ) 

The present is a mechanical device which is ‘activated’ when an inner layer of wrapping paper is torn away. This inner layer can Not be torn accidentally. 

The Device then orients itself to an upright position, by twisting away from The child opening it, extends a proboscis that rises above all The children & parents, then rotates, spewing a mixture of paints that are impossible to wash off, along with exploding ‘Poppers’ that aren’t intended to harm anyone, but to keep them moving, to keep them from simply diving to The Floor or escape by running from The Room, because these Poppers are being projected past them, exploding behind them. 

It seems to me though that this would Not be ‘enough’.

Maybe it should also play some very disturbing ‘music’ or ‘Hysterical Laughing’ or ‘A Satanic Message’ or ?

Release Skunk Fumes.

The Streams of Paint should be Electrified.

Include Flashing, Disorienting, Epilepsy Causing Lights. 

The Paint should include Poison Ivy Juice.

- - - 

A lot of Innocent ( semi-Innocent — because they’re supporting The enemy child ) children & adults would be harmed by this; But more importantly The enemy child would thereafter become a pariah, it is very improbable that they would become a martyr. 

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Mad Scientist Invention

Create a ( x ) that induces Puberty in Young Children, then Spray it all over Grade Schools or put it in their lunches, so that all The 5 & 6 year olds begin puberty & start getting each other pregnant, because you are also using subliminal messages that you’re flashing on walls or putting in their easy readers. 

Then demand an exorbitant amount of money to Not do it to other school districts. 

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Poker Prank

do you have some ‘friends’ that like to play poker ?

This should be a circle of friends or frienemies that you are Not a part of.

locate The usual deck or decks that they play with, & find a duplicate deck with The same backs & fronts, then soil & weather them to match The source decks.

Insert superfluous aces, kings & queens into The source deck(s so that at some future time, while they are playing, it’s discovered by an observant player that there are too many of a given card, or a duplicate card ?

It would be more desirable if one or all of these players routinely packed heat or other pointy utensils.

Hilarity Ensues.

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PET LEFT IN A HOT CAR

A Robot Animatronic ‘Pet’ is Installed in The Backseat of a Car which is left in a Parking Lot on a Hot Day; The Curious/Mischievous Element is that The Pet is an UnIdentifiable Creature of some kind ?

Animatronic should feature many active details, such as articulating fingers, flaring nostrils, blinking eyes, flapping ears, side swiping eyelids, sweating, weeping, vomiting, tracking eyes, etc… 

The Behaviour of The Creature would mimic that of a Dog or 3-4 yrold child left in a Hot Car. Drooling, Yelping, Howling, Moaning, Scratching at The Windows, Near Speech-Like Sounds. 

Possible Forms :

Very, Very Fat Child

Dragonish with Wings

Very Large Hamster or Mouse

Dog with Human Face / Human with a Dog’s Head or (x Head 

Child with Various Medical Equipment attached to it / Top of Head Removed with Exposed Brain & Tubes &/or Wires Attached to it.

Child with Octopus Arms or Multiple Humanish Arms

Large Amphibian or Reptile / Dinosaurish

Child with Multiple Heads 

( Creature is in a Restraining Seat or a Cardboard Box that’s been Broken Open ) 

- - -

The Car itself should be designed so that The doors can Not be opened, even with The ‘jaws of life’ & The windows should be bullet proof to The greatest degree that technology allows. 

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Dogs &&n cats orchestra

[ Well worked over on A Prairie Home Companion ]

Create a Number of Classical, Popular, Folk or Country Compositions using only The Barks of Dogs & Meows of Cats—

Then set up a few hundred speakers around a quiet, well manicured neighborhood, where practical jokes just aren’t done—

These Speakers should be well hidden, & equipped with Motion Sensors that shut them off when someone gets too close or line of sight with them—

Then play these tunes at night, after midnight, before 6am. 

:*’``’*:-.,_,.-:*’``’*:-.,_,.-:*’``’*:-.,_,.-:*’``’*:-.,_,.-:*’``’*

This might be done in a country neighborhood with Chickens, Sheep, Cows & Horses.

In a City; You might use Car Alarms, Horns, Screams, Gun-Shots & Sirens.

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How Odd is Odd?

Periodically; i will hear about some college professor ‘Debunking’ Flying Saucer Abductions by simply asking a class of students to ‘Make Up’ an Abduction Scenario, & to his satisfaction, The Made Up stories are very similar to ‘Real’ Flying Saucer Abductions— Which this professor argues is proof that The ‘Real’ Ones are just made up.

It would my contention though ( of course ) that this experiment is discovering  people that have been abducted. 

How Odd is Odd ?

The Experiment :

Pick Random ( ? ) People from a Shopping Mall or ( ? ) & invite them to come into an enclosed Kiosk where they are ‘Hypnotized’ & asked to reveal any ‘Odd’ Recollections that their Conscious Minds doesn’t know about ( ! ) ?

- - 

Might it be possible to quickly Hypnotize someone by showing them a series of ‘Viral’ Videos to determine ( with Body Measurements ) which particularly fascinate The subject, then play a video that is somekind of Caricature   

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How Big a Bomb is Your Car ?

Take all The Gasoline from a Typical Small Car & Distribute it into Devices which will, at a Given Signal, Aerosolize it into a Cloud of Gasoline Vapor which would then be Ignited at a single instant. The plan is to find a nice, comparatively well built 3 story steel & concrete building, well away from any other buildings, that has long been abandoned, & fill it with these Aerosolizing ‘Bombs’ of Ordinary Gasoline in a Quantity commensurate with what would come from a single automobile. 

The purpose is to demonstrate how big a bomb your car could be in an idealized situation.

The Cloud would fill The Building & be ignited by a single source point or precisely timed devices on The Aerosol Devices themselves. 

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Recruiting a crew

If you go to a strange town to pull a one time special Score, using known & conventional criminals, there is always a very real & probable chance that some of The Ne’er-do-wells that you contact will be a stool-pigeon or a loose-lippy, So naturally you want to find people that you’re absolutely sure don’t have any connection to law-enforcement. 

Use absolutely law abiding people. Ones that don’t even have traffic tickets, or have any relatives, neighbors or friends that are in law-enforcement.

Just create a crazy story so that they believe they’re doing a odd job for a few extra dollars.

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Nearly Legal Pedophilia 

You obtain corpse girl ( 7 - 12 years old ) from a poor family for an exorbitant amount, ( A few thousand dollars ) Then then advertise through some appropriate venues, that you are making this corpse ( warmed to The touch ) available for sexual deviants for a few hundred dollars per hour. 

This is illegal, but Not excessively so. The Fines for Necrophilia are far less than raping a living 8 year old, so that it all takes place on The up & up, with The participants willingly paying The legal fines at The time of their mischief.

It might also be prudent to obtain The cooperation or tacit permission of any agencies or personages which may have a legal standing to disturb this enterprise.

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A Cool 50,000 Dollars

The State of Washington has a ( New ) Law which compensates people that have been falsely convicted of some crime, then later found innocent. The 50,000 Dollars is awarded for each year that they spent in prison. 

This amount may be supplemented if The Police Beat or Shot you, or if you were Serially Raped in Jail, or otherwise abused, Charging that The Prison System was involved ( knowingly ) in a conspiracy to abuse you. 

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Flying Naked Woman

Train a Large Buzzard, Eagle, Stork or ( ? ) to fly around over a city, then dress up this bird in a costume so that it looks like a naked human woman. 

The legs may be made of a very light material filled with helium so that it doesn’t interfere with The birds flight.

The tail of The bird would be replaced with a auto-gyroscope that would be responsive to The stump of The tail as The bird would move it to assist in turns & stabilize flight. 

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Bad Statues

Big Community Statues of Bad People, Influential Politicians with Anachronistic Ideas which they seek to superimpose on The Damp Masses, Beating them down & Robbing them of The Essential Humyn Rights. 

1. Bronze Statue of Evil Politician Lying under an outhouse that invites anyone to crap on their face. Features informative Plaque. 

2. Big Marble Statue of Evil Religious Figure which allows anyone to insert a sausage into The Figure’s Anus, so that it comes out as The Figure’s Penis, which The Participant is then encouraged to get their pet dog to bite off. Includes an informative Plaque. 

3.

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The Tower of Babel

if you count The stories, this barely makes 20 stories, or 400_ft in height.

But as an architectural wonder; it might still hold promise.

i should think that if i were commision such a building, i would transmute The external ramp to stairs & platforms, & bring all The vertical elements to a true 90° from Horizontal. 

As for The interior; i would take from The upper most tiers & create a maze of compartments that defied ones ability to create a floor map for The building—  As each smaller cubical or office space would reside a plane of elevation all it’s own, So that there would be no ‘First Floor’ or ‘Second Floor’, they would all be Mashed & Stretched throughout The Structure in a Non-Repetitive Maze that betrays The Regular & Ornate Exterior Elements. 

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Roomba Spy

i’ve been thinking of making tiny robots to spy on people for a long time, but now that it’s possible to use Samsung’s TV to spy on its owners, 

It occurred to me that it would be very simple to sneak into someone’s home & modify their pre-existing devices that are plugged in to include tiny cameras & microphones— 

In particular; Their Roomba’s ( Mobile Autonomous Vacuum Cleaners )

But wall clocks, Bedside Clocks, Toys, Dashboard in their car, etc. ( … ) 

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Shoplifting tips

Shoplifting idea - put a small item in a big item so that when the big item is scanned and debeepers it, the small item will be debeeped as well 

: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - : o 

Smash & Grabs are remarkably successful.

: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - : o

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Free Car from Valet Parking

This is such an obvious idea that it must be quite common, or there must be some element of Valet Parking that i don’t understand.

Set up some Tiny Cameras in a Valet Parking Area, then Choose a Car that you want to Steal, Take note of The Valet Ticket Number, Print up your Own Claim Ticket; Then Retrieve The Car. ( ? )

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Genitals added to monster costumes

If you’re going to create a monster costume to parade around through a city or along a lonely stretch of highway, Be sure to add pendulous breasts &/or Genitalia so that witnesses will insist that it couldn’t possibly have been a man in a costume. 

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A Site where Terrorist are Deified 

Huge ( 20_ft ) statues are made of The worlds most notorious villains, criminals from death-row, terrorists & Ne’er-do-wells along with easy to read plaques that reveal what they were thinking as a positive philosophical position for making The world a better place or promoting their own agenda with The best intentions, even if they’re crazy or especially if they’re crazy.

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last will and testiment

This seems like such an obvious prank that it must be quite common, but i can’t recall ever having heard about it previously.

( But — i have just recently become aware of a few ideas that i thought were original, were discovered in The works of others ! ) 

You write you will, but include items that don’t exist in your possession, & never did.

i leave my french translation of The necronomicron to my favorite nephew (x 

i leave my collection of British Sovereigns from The Napoleonic Wars to my neighbor (y

i leave my original issue number one of superman comix to my daughter (z

Then make your executor someone in The family that you’ve never particularly liked. 

Be sure that certified copies of The will are available to everyone concerned. 

Be sure that The Will contains many odd, rare or eccentric items that are in your possession & are left to others. 

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Notebook Paper 

Notebook Paper with Subliminal ( Very Light ) Printing on it that says things like :

THIS BOOK REPORT IS EXCELLENT

THIS IS THE BEST REPORT I’VE EVER READ

THIS IS A + MATERIAL

THIS DESERVES A PULITZER PRIZE

I WILL STAPLE A TEN DOLLAR BILL TO THIS REPORT

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Things to do :

Research a recent murder or other heinous crime that remains unsolved.

Make a ‘To Do List’ of things, with Dates that correlate with known events relating to The Crime, plus numerous additional details.

Such that this would look like A List of Reminders for The Criminal that perpetrated this Crime.

Then leave it in A Library Book that is likely to be checked out in The near future. 

Be sure Not to leave any fingerprints, stray hairs or droplets of spittle on it. 

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C+++ Plus Ballerinas 

round up a dozen or so C+ Ballerinas & create a dancing troupe that performs original dances that exceed The extremities of previous ‘masterpiece’ Ballet Performances; & by injecting a little CGI & other Effects, make these Anomalous Ballerinas appear to be much better dancers that ‘real’ ones ( ? ) ( !!! ) 

Dancers :

Too Fat

Exceptionally Large Breasts

Too Muscular

Very Skinny

Frail Looking 

Too Old 

Much Too Old

Too Young

Amputees

In WheelChairs

Or Using Crutches

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Things to Fake

The Idea of Faking things is an alluring prospect !

The Hitler Diaries

Any Given Well Known Painting

An Original Painting ( Unknown ) by a Famous Painter

Some Personal Item that Belonged to a Saint

Some Body part of A Saint

A Photograph of a Famous Person during a Time when Photographs were still pretty Rare / The Glass or Metal Plate / A Photograph of someone who is believed to be completely unphotographed, but recognizable from drawings or painting, & in The company of other contemporary personages. 

Toys still in their original packaging.

Unknown Toys in their Original Packaging. / That is; Toys that aren’t mentioned in Toy-Catalogues or other historical documents, but are nevertheless presented in such & such a venue that would make a toy aficionado believe that this is a genuine toy from a given era. / Documentation on The Box should be both ‘Affirming’ of Its Authenticity & Heretical as well ! 

Recipe Boxes that belonged to Famous People. 

A Collection of Telephone Doodles of A Famous Person.

A Uniform of A Famous Person. Military, Sports, Police Officer… 

A Box of Moldy Tampons of a Famous Person.

A Box of Used Condoms of a Famous Person.

An Early Computer of a Famous Person with Floppy Disks that Scandalous Files are Recovered from.

Really Old Wine in hand blown Glass Vessels.

A Diary of a Famous Person that features Crazy Stories of Monsters, Aliens or Ghosts. 

A Scandalous Sketchbook of a Famous Person.

- - - End of Mischievous Ideas - - -