Story Fragment Series (f

 That’s a funny looking gun cowboy.

It is pretty funny looking ain’t it. / Here, ( taking it out of an embrodierd holster with numerous small jewels encrusted on it. ) take a closer look at if you like.

The filthy cowhand at The bar, smelling of pee & italian whiskey handles The gun, turning it over in his clumsy paws. 

Try is out if you’d like, go ahead & shoot that drunk in The corner.

Whoa! We all think a man’s life is as cheap as The lice in our whores oily hair, but we don’t shoot drunken sots in this town just for fun.

Who do you shoot for fun, Children?

Ugly wives & clinically obese card sharks mostly.

Ha!

I’m serious; If Larry’s wife were here, Anyone in This Bar would shoot her for The Two Dollar price on her head.

What’d she do; Just be’n ugly?

That & pissing on The Sherif’s gardenias. 

Life is awfully cheap around here. Does she trim her toenails?

Whaa— Are you looking for a wife, stranger. ( Hands The odd gun back to The Fancy Dressed Drifter )

I like feisty women.

She’s fish eyed & smells of old waffles most afternoons. 

I’ve never cared much for pancakes.

You like Bacon?

Bacon? Sure who doesn’t like Bacon?

Mexicans around here don’t like Bacon; They’ve all been converted to Judaism by The Tall Argentineans. We don’t much trust anyone in these parts that don’t like Bacon.

Tall Argentineans— I got a pickle with them Raccoons. 

They ain’t around here much. They came through here a few years back, & moved on, to The North.

And how many Jewish Mexicans are there in these Parts.

None. We Hung ‘em all for wearing socks.

The Stranger pulls off his boots to reveal two hairless feet.

The cowhand giggles like a seven year old girl.

This Larry Feller; How much would he like for this woman of his? 

You ain’t even seen her yet.

I’ve come to town looking for her. If this woman’s name is Glieniah, I’ve seen her.

Just what are you do’hn in this town? Gli’be don’t known nobody, She was a whore since she could walk under a cow— Did you know her before then?

I’ve known her some since before then. It’s been a very long time since she ever walked under a cow. She might have told you all a story like that, But she’s much older than you think. I’ve come looking for her to take her back to Her Father & Then Marry her for myself. She’s owed to me. I paid five Severed hands for her so long ago that your grandfather wouldn’t have heard about it.

What The Hard Tulips are you Peddling on about— Wait a Minnels ! You’re a— That crazy gun of yours— Hey! — I’m getting The Barber’s Chair out of here—!

Sorry Friend— But you’re not going anywhere this morning.

Look Stranger, I didn’t see noth’n, i didn’t hear not’n, I’m as deaf & blind as a cold coyote, Please— I got a pound of chocolate in my room, It’s all yours if you let me go.

eh. Chocolate huh ? ( The Stranger flashes out his Other Worldly Weapon & let’s The cowhand have it. Only a wisp of grey dust falls to The Saloon Floor. The other cowhands, cardsharks, drunks & bartender try to run or stand up reaching for their guns, but each is pushed into The netherworld, leaving only greasy shadows on chairs & walls. 

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