The Cabbage Codes
Checksum Method
Forward:
A few weeks ago;
i met a Jehovah's Witness named Glen...
He's a very nice person and not too pushy...
The other day, while we were talking, i brought up;
Jacob Wrestling with 'The Angel' Genesis 32: 24-32
Here's the Passage from The King James Version:
[24] And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.
[25] And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.
[26] And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.
[27] And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob.
[28] And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed.
[29] And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there.
[30] And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.[31] And as he passed over Penuel the sun rose upon him, and he halted upon his thigh.
[32] Therefore the children of Israel eat not of the sinew which shrank, which is upon the hollow of the thigh, unto this day: because he touched the hollow of Jacob's thigh in the sinew that shrank.
24] So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.
25] When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.
26] Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."
But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."
27] The man asked him, "What is your name?"
"Jacob," he answered.
28] Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."
29] Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."
But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.
30] So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."
31] The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.
32] Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon.
That one was Stupid, ( Commentary to follow ) but it's still not exactly what i'm looking for...
Here's the Passage again; From The Holman Standard Bible
24] Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.
25] When the man saw that He could not defeat him, He struck Jacob's hip as they wrestled and dislocated his hip socket.
26] Then He said to Jacob, "Let Me go, for it is daybreak."
But Jacob said, "I will not let You go unless You bless me."
27] "What is your name?" the man asked.
"Jacob!" he replied.
28] "Your name will no longer be Jacob," He said. "It will be Israel because you have struggled with God and with men and have prevailed."
29] Then Jacob asked Him, "Please tell me Your name."
But He answered, "Why do you ask My name?" And He blessed him there.
30] Jacob then named the place Peniel, "For," [he said,] "I have seen God face to face, and I have been delivered."
31] The sun shone on him as he passed by Penuel --limping on his hip.
32] That is why, to this day, the Israelites don't eat the thigh muscle that is at the hip socket: because He struck Jacob's hip socket at the thigh muscle.
Commentary:
i would like to believe that each of these translators went back to 'The Original' Material to create their own 'Friendly' version... Which suggests that there is something intrinsically wrong with Hebrew, Aramic, Egyptian or whatever the heck the original material was written in...
Or-- Maybe they were just agonizing over what The Original Writer meant, because s/he [ Moses / Ghost Writers ] were trying to be 'Poetic'...???
The Translator was then struggling to make sense of it, and there is alot of room-- Apparently --to swing from side to side on this strange & enigmatic story...
Just what in The Heck Was Jacob doing that Night...???
So; The fight ends with the Angel, which may have been Gawd himself...???
Reaching into Jacobs thigh and grabbing His Sinew; which is obviously a euphemism for Testicles...!!!
They Wrestled all night, and then to end the fight, The Angel/Gawd grabbed Jacob by the balls!
OK -- So in the First Version;
The Angel/Gawd is forced to: "he touched the hollow of his thigh", to end the fight,
But in the Second Version; It's Translated as: "he touched the socket of Jacob's hip"
In the Third Version; "He struck Jacob's hip as they wrestled"
Then later; It's Either The Sinew from the Hollow of the Thigh,
or it's The Tendon attached to The Hip Joint,
Or it's The Thigh Muscle near the Hip Socket...
Clearly; There's some ambiguity here...???
But which makes the most sense...???
It would seem to me that this bit concerning the Hip Joint/Sinew was 'Tacked On' after the story was told a few dozen times in order to justify a Dietary Prohibition...???
It certainly doesn't have anything to do with The Blessing, or Jacob's Internal Spiritual Quest for Self Idealization...???
And whether or not the being that he fought with was a Man, an Angel or Gawd him/herself is Irrelevant to this point... ( ! ) ???
But why would there be a Dietary Prohibition against either the flesh of one's leg or even a Tendon...???
Nobody eats tendons... That's silly...
And the Buttshanks are the best part of a carcass...
What does this leave...???
There are two possibilities...
One:
The Jewish Rabbi's wanted to prohibit The Laity from eating the Shanks so that they could take it for themselves to 'Dispose Of' in a 'Ritually Purified Manner'...! ( ??? )
Or Two:
The 'Sinew' is clearly a euphemism for Testicles...! And the Dietary Prohibition is for The Testicles...!
Which seems very sensible are several different levels;
Such as that they contain The Sacred Seed of The Animal, or That they're just Really Icky...!!!
Or that they somehow reminded the Rabbi's of Oysters!, which are also Prohibited...???
OK.
So this is not the first time that this sort of thing is mentioned in the bible...
There's another passage in which Testicles are mentioned...
In Deuteronomy 25: 11-12
11] When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets:
12] Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.
So it has precedence that Testicles are Sacred Items that are not to be Handled or Eaten...!!!
The point being that these Other Translations that skirt around the Truth, for whatever reasons,
Are Just WRONG...!!!
It might also be mentioned that when it comes to The Bible; That is supposed to be Infallible...!!!,
When there are Significant Disagreements like this,
It doesn't 'Logically Infer' that one 'may be' Correct and that all the others are Wrong...!!!
-- Rather: It means that: They're ALL WRONG...!!!
Additionally...
In other places; Various Bibles translate 'Tree' into 'Pole' or 'Wood'
To get out of saying that Christmas Trees are BAD...!!!
Jeremiah 10: 1-4
1] Hear ye the word which the LORD speaketh unto you, O house of Israel:
2] Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.
3] For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.
4] They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.
And there's another place in the bible that refutes giving presents and gratuitously decorating things with Silver & Gold...
So i've thinking...
The Cabbage Codes should have a Remedy for this...!
There should be 'Someway' to Determine if A Passage in The Bible,
or any other book or news story, or magazine,
or scrawled graffiti-- is Spiritually True or Not...! ( ??? )
The Solution:
A Cabbage Code Checksum Method!
The Solution is a Self Referential Checksum...
Revealed to me through exceptionally vivid dreams by The Great Cabbage...!!!
A Checksum is where you perform some comparatively simple arithmaniccal process to a Set of Words or Body of Text ( or even upon the data of an illustration ), and you get a Numerical Result that is Unique, or nearly Unique, for that String of Characters.
This 'Sum' is usually of a Limited Length, so that it can be compared to The Referential Sum, just by looking at them... Without Computer Assistance... So that it's usually just a few characters, or digits, long...??? ( ! )
You usually use this to Verify that The String of Characters sent by e-mail or a distrusted courier;
Such as a Bit of Highly Personal Correspondence or Legal Document is Incorrupted...???
For Our Purpose;
The Checksum would necessarily have to contain the 'Solution' Checksum [ Referential Sum ] within the Sentence or Phrase that you were attempting to Verify for Spiritual Validity...???
The Method
Take any given Sentence and Separate the Words, ignoring punctuation, spaces and numerical digits...
Anything in Letters [ A through Z ] is considered.
{ Lower & UpperCase Characters have Equal Values }
Calculate a Series Summation such that;
---
Number of Words in The Sentence
∑ ( Gematria Value of Word ) / x
x = 1
---
That Summation is then Multiplied by The Cabbage Constant:
c = .1234567891011121314151617181920212223242526
Which is The SimplestGematriaa Key Turned into a Fractional Value
Result * c = Near Final Calculation
Which is then Rounded Off to The Nearest Whole Number
That's The Final Calculation.
---
If this Final Calculation Equals The Number of Words in the Sentence
Then The Sentence is True!
To Further Quantify The Amount The Sentence is False:
The Two Values; The Final ∑ Calculation & The Length of The Sentence
Are Divided, One into The Other,
So that The Quotient is Always Less than or Equal to One.
The Closer this result is to One, The Higher it's Truth Value... ( ? )
Negative Values have no Particular Meaning here... ( ??? )
---
Such that...
All the words in a Sentence are given a Gematria Value using The Simplest Key
[ A = 1, B = 2, C = 3 ... ]
Then each Value is Divided into That Words Position from The Sentence.
GematriaValueOfTheFirstWord / 1
+ GematriaValueOfTheSecondWord / 2
+ GematriaValueOfTheThirdWord / 3...
This Summation is then Multiplied by The Cabbage Constant
Round that Off to The Nearest Whole Number
If this Result Equals The Number of Words in The Sentence...
Then The Sentence is Spiritually True...!!!
Sentences that are Believed to Be Factually True may Not Be Spiritually True,
And Vice-Versa...
This is One of The Great Mysteries of The Cabbage Codes...!!!
King James Version:
And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint as he wrestled with him.
Cabbage Code Checksum: -.5937
Final Calculation was 19, The Number of Words is 32.
[ 32 / 19 = 1.6842
( = More Than 1 : Invert ( 1 / x ) to .5937
( Inversion is taken to be a Negative Result ) ) ]
Clearly Not Spiritually True...!!!
The New International Version:
When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.
Cabbage Code Checksum: -.7586
Final Calculation was 22, The Number of Words is 29.
Closer, but still Clearly Wrong...!!!
The Holman Standard Bible:
When the man saw that he could not defeat him, she struck Jacob's hip as they wrestled and dislocated his hip socket.
Cabbage Code Checksum: -.9091
Final Calculation was 20, The Number of Words is 22.
This one is pretty close... Maybe because it suggests that 'The Man' Struck his hip...???
i don't know... The King James version seems just Poetic enough to be More True...
But The Cabbage Codes are always correct--
Despite how Counter Intuitive The Results may be...???
The Cabbage Codes Translation:
When Jehovah almighty, Omnipotent industrialist, Maker of Heaven and Earth,
Recognized that She could Not triumphantly stomp the feeble mortal Jacob,
She palpably Crumpled his Rocks of Ages until his puckered anal sphincters gnashed with trepidation.
Cabbage Code Checksum: 1
Final Calculation was 36, The Number of Words is 36!
Work your way through this one...
1 ) When = Gematria Value : 50 / 1 = 50.00
2 ) Jehovah = 69 / 2 = 34.50
3 ) almighty = 95 / 3 = 31.66
4 ) Omnipotent = 141 / 4 = 35.25
5 ) industrialist = 175 / 5 = 35.00
6 ) Maker = 48 / 6 = 8.00
7 ) of = 21 / 7 = 3
8 ) Heaven = 55 / 8 = 6.88
9 ) and = 19 / 9 = 2.11
10 ) Earth = 52 / 10 = 5.20
11 ) Recognized = 106 / 11 = 9.64
12 ) that = 49 / 12 = 4.08
13 ) She = 32 / 13 = 2.46
14 ) could = 55 / 14 = 3.93
15 ) Not = 49 / 15 = 3.27
16 ) triumphantly = 177 / 16 = 11.06
17 ) stomp = 83 / 17 = 4.88
18 ) the = 33 / 18 = 1.83
19 ) feeble = 35 / 19 = 1.84
20 ) mortal = 79 / 20 = 3.95
21 ) Jacob = 31 / 21 = 1.48
22 ) She = 32 / 22 = 1.45
23 ) palpably = 85 / 23 = 3.70
24 ) Crumpled = 92 / 24 = 3.83
25 ) his = 36 / 25 = 1.44
26 ) Rocks = 66 / 26 = 2.54
27 ) of = 21 / 27 = .78
28 ) Ages = 32 / 28 = 1.14
29 ) until = 76 / 29 = 2.62
30 ) his = 36 / 30 = 1.20
31 ) puckered = 83 / 31 = 2.68
32 ) anal = 28 / 32 = .88
33 ) sphincters = 131 / 33 = 3.97
34 ) gnashed = 58 / 34 = 1.71
35 ) with = 60 / 35 = 1.71
36 ) trepidation = 131 / 36 = 3.64
Multiplied by The Cabbage Constant = 293.3102 * c = 36.0652
Rounded Off = 36
36 / 36 = 1
Means that It's True...!!! Perfectly True...!!!
Blessed By The Great Cabbage...!!!
More Results:
In the beginning, Gawd created the Heavens and the Earth.
Wrong! Cabbage Code Checksum = .7143
At some reasonably indeterminate juncture, along our deeply troubled stretch of thinly sliced Fractional Realities, The Xi point Six Controllers created The Sprinkly Heavens above and The Dust Laden Earth below.
TRUE TRUE TRUE...!!! Cabbage Code Checksum = 1
The Mark or Portent of The Beast...
( aka: The AntiPope! ) ( Or-- Liberator of Knowledge!!! )
...is Six hundred Sixty and Six.
COMPLETELY TRUE...!!! Cabbage Code Checksum = 1
- - - - - - - - - - -
Addendum:
If anyone out there; has the time & resources,
and would like to run this Sieve over The Entire Bible,
( and other Religious & Profane Texts )
Please send me your edited results...
i genuinely think that the findings will be Astonishing & Unexpected...!!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Appendix A:
Submission from: Wm Jas T with Commentary
As you may know,
( Actually i'm not very familar with the Qur'an, but i have the highest respect for thier ridiculous religion that worships a Meteorite-- and their Heritage; having not only founded Western Civilization, but the bulk of Modern Mathematics as well... [ Where did they go wrong recently though...??? ] )
many of the suras in the Qur'an begin with a few seemingly random letters
( called Muqatta'at ),
which nobody knows the meaning of.
For instance, Sura 29 begins;
"A. L. M. Do men imagine that they will be left at ease because they say,
We believe, and will not be tested with affliction?"
Nobody knows what the "A. L. M." is supposed to mean.
Could these possibly be gematria checksums?
( There is a long tradition of gematria in Arabic, as in Hebrew. )
After all, a normal checksum doesn't use a constant,
as in your Cabbage Code version,
Well-- The Cabbage Code Version 'finds' the Tacit Checksum that is 'Attached' to, Not Only every sentence of every Religious Text, But every text, Anywhere...! If every sentence everywhere were ammended with an Obvious Checksum-- it would have been discovered along time ago...!!!
[ The Secrets of The Great Cabbage are available to anyone That LOOKS for them...!!! ]
but rather a number which is appended to the text itself.
Maybe that's what the Muqatta'at are.
Maybe there's some simple gematria arithmetic you can perform on the text of Sura 29 which would yield the number 71 --
( 71 being the value of "A.L.M." in traditional Arabic gematria )
Or it may be that the ALM is a purely textual solution for a textual calculation...!!!
[ The Great Cabbage often urges it's adherents to think outside the box, that the box came in...!!! ]
-- and if you perform the same operation on other Suras,
it will yield the value of their individual Muqatta'at.
If they're all different; this Checksum Theory really seems to be the most 'Conspicuous' explanation...???
Even if this wasn't the intended purpose of the Muqatta'at,
it seems there's a high probability that you could contrive something that would work.
There are only 29 Suras that have Muqatta'at,
and an infinite number of mathematical operations you could perform.
Of course; The Great Beauty of The Great Cabbage is that all it's 'Solutions' are Elegant & Definitive...!!!
( And of course, if it only works for 28 of the 29, that's not a problem;
it just proves that one of the Suras has been corrupted! )
And if it ( A Salient & Soigné Method that 'Must' be Correct ) Didn't work for Any of them; That would mean that The Qur'an is alot of Hooey...!!!
What do you think?
Brilliant...!!!
Wm Jas is The Brains of This outfit...!!!
Wm Jas
