Monday, June 19, 2000

A Gematria Revised: The Jury of The Diggity Danged!

You may have thought with the resignation of Harriet Miers that it would be safe to go back out into the dark alleys of Washington D.C. and litigate just like your grandfather did when Herbert Walker Hoover was President.
---
Sadly:
Things are more Dangerous and Retched than Ever...!!!
But there is a dim light to show us a way out of all the troubles that are smearing themselves on our freshly scrubbed hands & faces...!
Angels; dressed in their finest satin pajamas and sporting freshly starched wings,
Flapping and Whistling Old Southern Hymns--
Have revealed a new Cabbage Code Gematria Key to The Translucent Amoebae Consortium...!!!
---
This Key; Is Mathematically Intractable & Could Not have been created with even Earth's most sophisticated computers, even if you allowed them overheat on a polar icecap for the next six or seven thousand years!

The only way that it could have come into existence is by the divine intervention of Mischievous Angels that i became acquainted with during an all night poker game at Arnold Schwarzenegger's beach house in 1975.

The bet that made that night so memorable was when Arnold had run out of pocket change and tried to stay in for that hand, by rolling a barrel full of Roborovski Dwarf Hamster's; with delicately manicured toenails, painted to look like The Entire Romanov's Family; into the living room & insisting that their commercial value was comparable with the last raise made by Richard Feynman; who after receiving his last card, shouted; "I wager 30,000 Quatloos!" --which everyone interpreted by holding to The Swedish Rules of Betting...

Arnold had a 'Stinky Monkey' with a one eyed queen, and was sure he'd win...!
We let him stay in, but only;
If he'd lost; He'd have to 'someday' run for Governor... of any state he'd like...!

Who won...?
Ali MacGraw with a 'Full Turkey Pot Pie'...!!!

The odd's of something like that happening with The Liechtenstein Triple Deck we were playing with---
( Two Standard Playing Card Decks, One English ( 52 Cards ) and One 'Old' German ( 67 Cards ) Plus a Standard Gypsy Tarot Deck )
---had to Gazillions to One. In all my poker playing days, i've only seen 3 Turkey Pot Pies,
and they were all Short Stacks, Except for Ali's.
i have to tell you, i was so excited by both his rare poker hand, and the blouse Ali was wearing,
i crapped my pants.

Curiously; this is what endeared me to the Angels that were there; Incognito.

Sometime after this; They made their presence aware to me,
and began telling me the most outrageous things...!
These would include things like details of Michael Jackson's life,
That 911 was about to happen,
and where i'd put my favorite hat.
Typically; i wouldn't have any idea how to respond to these revelations,
which was apparently the whole point--
They would laugh & laugh & laugh & LAUGH...!!!

Angel Belly Laughter is Very Disconcerting...!

---
The Cabbage Code Key:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
F & U = -124
Article 124 allows for a Supreme Court in India
C = -26
June 26th '03 Sodomy Legalized in Texass
K = -16
William J. Brennan, Jr. (Associate: October 16, 1956)
Y = 7
Justice is Provided 7 days a week!
P & Q = 30
Supreme Court Rule 30: Computation and Extension of Time
B = 34
Harriet Miers was 34th Failed Supreme Court Nominee
N = 37
Ohio Supreme Court RULE 37: Failure to Make Discovery
A & Z = 39
John Roberts has argued 39 cases before the Supreme Court
H = 40
40% Have Favorable Opinion of US Supreme Court
J = 43
Supreme Court of Canada upholds Section 43: Corporal punishment defense
V = 45
Title 15,45. Unfair methods of competition unlawful
E & W = 46
Waist Size of John Paul's pants
I & R = 53
Age at which Antonin received his first blow job
M = 60
Should a 'SuperMajority' be needed to Confirm a Supreme Court Nominee?
O = 62
Zim 62 'sunk' by supreme court
S & X = 69
69 Still legal in most Northern States
T = 71
Mandatory Retirement Age?
G = 88
Mandatory Retirement Age-- For Women?
D & L = 156
156 Supreme Court Nominees!


But what does it mean?
Does it mean Anything...???
Is it all Just Gibberish...???

Does this look like Gibberish to you...??? ( ! )
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
. . . . .
Ruth Bader Ginsburg = 666
Anthony M. Kennedy = 666
John Paul Stevens = 666
Stephen G. Breyer = 666
Clarence Thomas = 666
Antonin Scalia = 666
John Roberts Jr. = 666
David H. Souter = 666
& Samuel A. Alito = 666
!!!!!!!!!!!
As always:
The Translucent Amoebae Consortium
Expects our readers to be intelligent, sugar coated sentient donuts with flavorful sprinkles on top--
Which won't easily be taken to an All Night Cat Waxing Salon and pay an attendant $700 for 'More fun than a Barrel Full of Monkeys could have in a whole week!'
Consequently:
We offer the most Skeptical UnBeliever & Slack Eyed Caboose Switchman
These Additional Categories of Proof that
The Cabbage Codes are Desperately trying to tell you to---
WAKE UP... and smell the Juju Beans...!!!
- - - -
.
Additional 666's :
Wild Satan = 666
George's UnAmerican = 666
SuperDemonic Bird Flu = 666
Ghoulish Robot = 666
Judgmentible = 666
Bush's MetaCapital = 666
Us; Skull And Bones = 666
Soullessly = 666
Jehovah's Robot = 666
Suffer Lovelessness = 666
Contemplating Traffic = 666
MetaHysterical Sub-FBI = 666
Miracleless UnFate = 666
Motionless SubSucker = 666
Super UnPsuedoKingdom = 666
But... Lonelyness = 666
Destroyed = 666
AntiSex Robot = 666
Amoebaeless = 666
Electricityish = 666
Islamible = 666
Blondness = 666
Super Imagination = 666
Friendly Robot = 666
Rejecting Satan = 666
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Equalties :
Blindness = PsuedoVisionary = 657
Light = Candle = 408
SuperJudger = MetaWink = 336
Brain = Meat = 216
Neck = Hung = 41
Whomever = Congress = 398
Cannibal = Laughter = 369
After = Dusk = 85
Butcher = Bank = 94
MailArt = Madtown = 471
Blood = Gibberish = 470
Jailhouse = Eternity = 384
Lonely = Cemeteries = 464
Crazy = Joy = 112
UnMe = SuperYou = 19
Whoring = Compulsion = 379
Islam = Judgment = 377
Stand = Trial = 372
Pureness = SuperPushcart = 226
You = Us = -55
Amoebae = Vampire = 326
Demonic = Land = Jerusalem = 388
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
George W Bush = 448 :
George W Bush = Criminal Cherub
George W Bush = Hometown + 'Crack'
George W Bush = Joyride + Fire
George W Bush = Hour: Thirteen
George W Bush = Wild Turn
George W Bush = Tender Feet
George W Bush = Land & Sky
George W Bush = Full Jailhouse
George W Bush = Stale Wussy
George W Bush = Country Western
George W Bush = Insanity Cook
George W Bush = Alamo? O.K.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Damp Masses = 794 :
The Damp Masses = Elemental Stack
The Damp Masses = Illumination Buttocks
The Damp Masses = Left Desolate
The Damp Masses = Dragged Under
The Damp Masses = Lust + Dollar
The Damp Masses = PsychoMotorcyclist
The Damp Masses = Trembling Filth
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Truth = 111 :
Truth = Pure SuperFate
Truth = Accuse & Confess
Truth = Jury + Justice
Truth = New Sun
Truth = Conform Museum
Truth = Un(Un)Known SubMercy
Truth = Mouth Sucker
Truth = Deaf Uranium
Truth = Fix Square
Truth = Your Ratfink
Truth = Blue Pacific
Truth = Burn UnPoem
Truth = Queen SuperSucker
Truth = Cave Found
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Justice = 132 :
Justice = Platonic Fuck
Justice = Jesus's Fact
Justice = Supremely Fun
Justice = Earth + Fifty
Justice = Cracked Up
Justice = Public's Junk
Justice = UnSafe Fairies
Justice = Cherubish Hiccup
Justice = Uranus Rain
Justice = Nine Sufferly
Justice = FBI Crabs
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
The American Way = 550 :
The American Way = Laughless Suburbs
The American Way = Westernly Ruin
The American Way = Sexyless SuperUs
The American Way = Five Revolutions
The American Way = Lonesome Puns
The American Way = Skyscrapered SuperUranus
The American Way = Hipsterish Fog
The American Way = Hollow Farm
The American Way = Nameless PsuedoFun
The American Way = Safe MetaPrison
The American Way = UnContinuous SuperSchizoid
The American Way = Beerless SubHuman
The American Way = Giggle Hour
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Supreme Court = 373 :
The Supreme Court = Your SuperStore
The Supreme Court = Fix Minds
The Supreme Court = Bug & Gods
The Supreme Court = Old UnHopeful
The Supreme Court = Nine: Life's Package
The Supreme Court = Occupational Burn
The Supreme Court = Bush's Brains
The Supreme Court = Bush's Five Monkeys
The Supreme Court = Bush's PreFascist MetaFun
The Supreme Court = Nine SuperDumb
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Pact With Satan = 579 :
Pack with Satan = Hungry + Insatiate
Pack with Satan = Oh! Bloody!
Pack with Satan = Madness + Jesus
Pack with Satan = Me + Incantation
Pack with Satan = Mouth + Gibberish
Pack with Satan = Frightened RatFink
Pack with Satan = Continuous Gold
Pack with Satan = Dumb Darkness
Pack with Satan = Sinister Finish
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
What are you going to do now...
Now that you Know the Truth...???
Are you just to go back to sleep on the couch...
Or --
Do Those Horrible, Horrible Things
That Need to be done?
---
You may be thinking...
Why don't 'I' do these Horrible Things...???
Because someone has to keep this Blog running...
That's Why...!!!
Send me some Eep's while you're doing
All those Necessary Horrible Things,
And i'll post them...!!!
You'll be Famous...!!!
People will want you to sign their casts
& Pose with them by fountains...
And most Importantly---
You'll have Saved The World...!!!
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1 comment:

Wm Jas said...

The Supreme Court: Your Superstore! Love it.