Aliens...???

We are The Property of Aliens:
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( Extraterrestrial Aliens)
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Some time ago The Magazine 'Scientific American'
distributed an issue that asked The Question:
"Where are They?"
Meaning; The Aliens...
The Walking Fish People, Greys, Martians or The Rarely witnessed; Ronald McDonald.
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This article; by a Prestigious Scientific Tabloid,
Gave this dilemma some authority that it had previous been lacking...
Pseudo-Skeptics, and their gulible lackies,
have long held that the other stars, even within our own Milky Way Galaxy,
are just too dang far away for any civilization,
irregardless of how technically superiour they are,
to journey from there to here...
Well-- Scientific American said "BUNK!"
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That's just silly--
Just because we can't travel to the stars in our dewy eyed foreseeable future,
doesn't mean that nobody can...
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Furthermore;
If there was another planet, Just like Earth ( Hypothetically Pondering )
And it was way over on The other side of The MilkyWay Galaxy...
About 300 Million Lightyears away...
And they started out at the same time we did,
and duplicated all our biological & climatical events... ( and so on... )
...so they were just like us...
EXCEPT FOR ONE DETAIL...
And that is that they never had an Age of The Dinosaurs...!
So that when they got around to evolving Something like Humanimals
and discovering electricity...
They would be about 300 Million years ahead of us...!
With that TINY advantage...
And allowing that they would NEVER be able to build spaceships that could travel faster than the speed of light,
and perhaps never faster than 10% of the speed of light...!!!
THEY WOULD STILL...!!!
...HAVE COLONIZED THE ENTIRE MILKYWAY GALAXY BY NOW...!!!
( It would actually take alot less time than 300 Millions Years...!!! )
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So considering that some other planet may have only a couple of million years advantage over us, and that they could travel faster than light, or pretty fast by our standards...
They really, really should have been here by now. --
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Of course;
A lot of people think they ARE HERE...!!!
But the pseudo-skeptics will only be satisfied when they hover over The White House or Kremlin and drop from their circular windows; toy monkeys that will cure cancer or tell us how to eat whatever we want & stay thin.
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Regretfully;
That will NEVER HAPPEN...!!!
Movies & Books that have lightly discussed this issue,
routinely give their Ant Headed Visitors either a desire to conquer our world and eat our delicious brains, or invite us to join their club of space ship racing dune buggies...!?!?
Well--
The simple truth is:
If they're coming all this way for something...?
What is it that we have, That they don't?
Water, Gold, Uranium...???
Beef Flavored French Fries...???
They could easily find or make these sorts of things with their commonly available 'Horn of Plenty' Generators and atom splicing 'Vacuforms'.
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The one & only thing that we have that they don't have,
and can't make,
at any cost...
Is that we're WEIRD...!!!
REALLY FAWKING WEIRD...!!!
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And by this i mean; Unique.
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The way we do mathematics, compose music, construct language, consider what is a simple machine and what is not...
These represent one case example in the infinite diversity of evolutionary variation...!
They might try to create something as boneheaded as our multiplication table...
But they'll never be able to come up with it on there own...!
Because they're not as Weird as We Are...!!!
AND THEY WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO SPOIL US...!!!
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Like contact us overtly...?
Plus;
Since they probably seeded us here;
( Consult a book on Biological Diversity and look up
"Burgess Shale Repository of Fossils" )
With DNA that they invented and hold a patent on...
They own us; ( ! )
And are shielding us from contact with other extraterrestrial races...
If any others even exist
( that they don't own or control )...!
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That's why we can't find any of their radio stations, and why they haven't landed in front of an independently owned Television Station.
The good news is;
So long as we STAY WEIRD and keep producing our Unique Version of Popular Culture;
They'll protect us from The Klingons ( et. al. )
& ourselves...
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Your Job is To: Be Kooky...!