Wednesday, October 11, 2000

TwentySix Questions...

If The Formatting on this seems "Goofy",
Then i just don't know what to do about it,
'cuz i've worked on it, and worked on it, an worked on it...
and every time i fix one thing, something else breaks...!!!
Oh i hate computers...!!!!
It's this dang Google/Blogspot compiler...!!!
Wouldn't you think it would make more sense for me to get this "all-right" on my local computer
and then send it to them...
But NooOooOooOooo...!!!
They have it rigged so that that every character goes to their computer,
then i see a reflection of it on this terminal,
and then they do some crazy thing to it when i'm not looking...!!!
Honestly... i'll scroll away from something,
and when i come back to look at it a moment later, the formatting will have changed...!!!
Something is definitely crazy here, and it may well be me...
or it might not be...!!! ( ??? )

One
Is Life Meaningful?
No. How could it be? -- If there were some 'Meaning' that we could look forward to... A Goal, for example, or something marvelous to learn, or to merge with The Unity of The Universe... Eventually... Then once we've done that, Life would be Meaningless. The Race would be won. Given then-- That Life will at some future time, become meaningless, by definition; It is already meaningless.

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Two
How should i Act? ( How can i be Good? )
The trouble to trying to be Good is that no matter how you act-- That is; Whatever your course of action may be in any situation, you can never know, at that time, how your actions will 'Play out'. If you believe you are acting for the benefit of others or yourself-- It may well turn out that an hour later, your actions will result directly in circumstances turning around and killing you and everyone around you. Or vice-versa-- The most unrepentant scoundrel will act, by everyone's account, with the most egregious, egotistical & loathsome intentions, Yet, As it so often turns out, they are lifted up and given honors & financial rewards that ordinary & meek minded hamsters like you & me are rarely able to even dream of. -- How should you act, Pragmatically--? Enjoy every moment, Without thinking of your 'morrow.

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Three
What's the deal with The Cabbage Codes...?
The Cabbage Codes were developed by Tiny Wanda around 1990 or so... in response to a preexisting fascination with The Gematria & The Cabala in general, as well as Twelfth Century Alchemy & The Cthulhu Mythos-- And The Recently Published Book; The Bible Code. What is most interesting about the Gematria; Is that while it's obviously a lot of Hokum, It's so amazingly complex & able to generate such a rich tapestry of meaningful revelations, that; like The Flying Saucer Phenomena & The Problem of Autonomy-- It strongly suggests that there is 'something else' going on there, that is More True than the Original Topical Material...! For The Gematria, This may be something along the lines that irregardless of how pointless & void of reason a set of data may be-- That alleges to be Irrefutable Proof for some argument, The Damp Masses will eagerly sop it up... Because 'Believing Nonsense' --was for some inexplicable reason; Selected by Evolution or Gawd to be The Foundation for Our Thinking in a Manner which we laughingly call Sentient Cogitation.

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Four
But-- Why a Cabbage...???
Why not a Cabbage...! Every Great Religion needs a Symbol that epitomizes all The Irrational & Beloved Dogma that most carefully defines & winnows it from all competing theories & schools of thought. The Cabbage is the most authoritative of all Nature's bounty. There is no living organism that shares the complexity of organic chemistry & geometrical roundness as The Cabbage.

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Five
I don't want to belabor this;
But What Exactly does This Cabbage Religion say about Our Existence... ( et. all. )
What many of The Damp Masses don't understand, is that while Science & Religion as they are commonly understood; Are the same thing. Just as Republicans & Democrat's in The United States share exactly the same political ideology, The objectives of Science & Religion are the same: To Construct a Viable Model of The Universe with which they may then make predictions of The Future. Where they both fail however-- Is that both have completely failed to appreciate the importance of their axioms! Our Worship of The Great Cabbage is our attempt to Ally ourselves to a Gawd that, While no more real than any of the other Gawds, Is of such a nature that The True Gawd will be Least Offended by it...! We Genuinely believe that both Science & Religion are not merely Wrong with most of their beliefs, But are Exactly Wrong more often than not. JudeoChristianity, for example, believe more strongly that Their 'Torah/Bible' is Correct; While The Universe is Wrong! It is far more likely; We believe-- That it was the Devil that Wrote The Bible, and it is The True Gawd that remains silent while letting The Universe reveal what it will to us. As Lao Tzu suggested; 'The Spoken Dao is Not The Eternal Dao.' & 'He who speaks does not know, And he who knows, does not speak.' The Cabbage does not speak, and that is reason enough for us to listen to it. ( ! )

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Six
Do we have Freewill?
There's just No Way that we can! Every Event in this Reality occurs as the result of some precedent event -- This would apply just as necessarily within the Brain as anywhere else, and as such, make every thought that one may experience, the result of all previous events, not only in the Brain itself, but traceable to the first event, long before our local Big Bang...! If one were to imagine that by adding some 'Quantum' layer or Randomality to this formula, you would find that Freewill results, but that you're actions are then determined by meaningless & haphazard incidents. There are No other possibilities. -- It may be pointed out here though; That If -- Given that all our thoughts are generated by the brain, then there is no practical reason to assume that the causality of the ElectroChemical Effects that generate our meditations are created solely within that hard crust. All your Sensory Perceptions are Just As Responsible for any changes in your Brain to create those ruminations! Likewise, Cosmic Rays that penetrate your skull and knock electrons out of their nuclear orbits, changing your electrolytic balances, Are causing you to think your particular cogitations too! Gravity waves from distant Quasars... AntiProtons from the rims of BlackHoles, spiraling backwards through time... In fact, If such things can happen, That would mean that all events in this Universe, and those events in the future & past -- Are all contributing to The State of Your Mind at any given Instant...! The Entire Universe, This local universe, and all others, Are your Consciousness. So although you don't, You Can't, have Freewill, You at least have Autonomy in that there is Nothing 'OutSide' the Continuum of Realities to Influence you.

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Seven
What is The Crisis of Contraryism?
Contraryism is the Idea that The Most Reasonable Method of Determining Social Truths, Is to Invert the Proposals of whatever our Politicians &/or Corporate Leaders say. So that anything The President says; A Contraryist would simply arrange into their mind -- The exact Opposite of whatever the meaning of that submission was... Then; You Compare ( in all fairness ) The presumed Truth Value of each Version... Based on what you already know about The World, and such... Which ever is most True, According to this process, is retained for Future Reference. -- The Crisis Occurs when, Within a Popular Sphere of 'News' Both Polar Views Share an Equal Burden of Credibility...! That is -- The Contrarian doesn't ( initially ) know what to NOT believe...!!! The Solution is to Break Free from The Constraints of Thesis & AntiThesis -- To Think Outside of The Box; That the Box Came In...!!! This may require a Considerable Budget of Creative Deliberation...! When asked, for example if OJ Simpson Killed or Did Not Kill Nicole Brown Simpson... It may be that what you should really be wondering about is; Why was Ron Goldman Killed...? Was he the Primary Target? Did Nicole get in the way, not the other way around...??? Did a Flying Saucer Crash in Roswell, or was it a Weather Balloon...? Maybe what you should be wondering is; Why does the Air Force so very desperately want me to NOT believe that it was a flying saucer...??? Maybe because they DO want me to believe that it Might Have Been a Flying Saucer...! Does that sound Crazy...? That's what Contraryism is all about...! Is what 'They're' telling me Too Crazy to Believe, or Not Crazy Enough...!

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Eight
Was there a Crash of a Flying Saucer at Roswell, New Mexico?
As it was suggested in Seven; The question of whether a Flying Saucer Crashed in Roswell, may not be the 'True' Question...! While some wags will tell you that Aliens aren't visiting us because their worlds are too far from us... It is true that Stars are VERY far from one another, But not impossibly far from one another. It is entirely reasonable that if there was only one other planet in The MilkyWay Galaxy, and it was at the far end from where we are... And the only difference between them & us, is that on their planet, they never had an Age of The Dinosaurs... So that they have a 300 million year jump on us... And further, their Starships are Never able to exceed the Speed of Light -- They would still have colonized the Entire MilkyWay Galaxy by now, and taken over our metropolitan centers many years ago. So Given that No Alien Species has Openly contacted us yet, And allowing that there is most probably many, many civilizations in The MilkyWay Galaxy, and elsewhere, and that The Speed of Light will most certainly be broken, Then there is a BIG PROBLEM...! Some people think that a flying saucer couldn't have crashed in Roswell for the simple reason that flying saucers, being of such an advanced technology, just don't crash...! But this may be an unwarranted assumption. They may be operating at the edge of their technology, just as we are. Another complaint is that if they did crash, why were we allowed to keep it...? That is a good question... Unless-- It's a fake flying saucer, or an obsolete model that they wanted to tease us with...!!! Or is may be that There was No Flying Saucer that Did or Did Not Crash; or Was or Was Not a Weather Balloon...! It may be that the reason we are being made to think that it was or wasn't a flying saucer -- Is to just get us thinking about Flying Saucers...!!! It may be that the reason we haven't seen any Aliens landing on our football fields is that there's a fence around our planet, Telling all 'The Other' Aliens to Keep Away...! It may be that all our Evolutionary Mysteries are made understandable when you come to accept that they ( The Aliens / The Walking Fish People ) MADE US...! That we are their PROPERTY...!!! And that the Alleged Crash of a Flying Saucer at Roswell is just Warming us Up for the Revelation that Harvesting Time is Coming up... Around December in 2012.

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Nine
Is there Such a Thing as Enlightenment?
( Satori )
All the Worldly Religions that i've encountered so far have the naive impression that this world is the unique creation of some kind of gawd that lives in somekind of heaven, which resides in the true reality.
The Transparent Amoebae Consortium believes that our world ( this visible universe ) is a fractional layer that is sandwiched between an infinite number of parent realities, and a potentiality of realities that we will someday create, or that aliens on other planets have been creating for some time.
One interesting facet of this position is that it presupposes that it is possible to create any number of realities within a nested set of realities, which all have the same 'resolution' of detail...!
That is: It will be possible in a few short years to create fractional realities that set on your desk top,
populated by billions of unique entities, that live in a universe just as big & detailed as the one we live in.
This sounds ridiculously paradoxical, But it is never-the-less true.
The Elemental Key to filling out this claim, is to consider that each individual within that universe, lives only in a small region of their universe, and is aware of only a tiny, tiny fraction of that, at any given moment--
And there may be many 'tricks' to making each individual think that they are experiencing a great deal more 'solid' or 'eternal' reality than they really are.
But i digress.
Concerning Enlightenment; Many of the Religions and Philosophies that promote the idea of a Great Spiritual Awakening-- Depend upon this 'One step up to The True Reality' to allow their adherents to access this realm of Perfect Knowledge & Holistic Wisdom.
But this 'True Reality' that they seek, doesn't exist.
Only layers & layers of variations that are the products of Pure Imagination..!!!.
...Since each of these realities is being generated by a 'machine' of somekind, the properties of each reality are governed by rules that are completely independent of cause & effect.
Gravity; for example, need have nothing to do with Mass or The Curvature of Space--
Things appear to stick to planets, and planets appear to circle suns because there is a simple rule somewhere in each of the realities generators that define the perceptions of it's residents in that way...!!!
---
Having then dispelled the idea that this Enlightenment...
There is another state of mind that is curiously desirable...
It is The Swirliness of Being.
People throughout he ages have spontaneously experienced this state,
for either no apparent reason,
or as the result of rigorous introspection,
or by 'Letting go' of everything that you assume to be true...
( sometimes this act of 'letting go' is obtained accidentally by so thoroughly engaging in some activity that your consciousness to allowed to step aside of what you are doing... and during this period, experience a greater sense of being... such activities are often benign in nature, such as; running, typing, drawing or staring off into space...! Any Religion that claims to have 'secret knowledge' or 'the only path' towards enlightenment or salvation is most certainly -- NOT the true path to enlightenment or salvation. It may be possible to find these superfluous states within these philosophies, but you are just a likely to find what you're seeking taking many other paths as well. )
Films have occasionally tried to capture this illusive quality & called it many different things, if they were intent upon calling it anything at all...
Peter Parker experiences his Spider-Sense in Spiderman; which allows him to become aware of every little thing happening around him...
Philip Fry in Futurama; After drinking 100 cups of coffee, experiences the world 'slowed down' to a pace that allows him to study every detail at his leisure, and save his friends from a rapidly expanding fire.
John Preston as a Warrior Priest in Equilibrium discovers that art & beauty are treasures that shouldn't be surrendered for the sake of peace & security, but finds that his soul can escape the limitations of this reality by 'giving up' everything that he cared about, a state that may be some form of Equilibrium of perceptions & formless awareness... ( ? )
Dory; in Finding Nemo, escapes her ordinary state of 'now' by flashing for a few critical moments on all that ever happened to her ( recently )...
Larry Darrell in The Razors Edge; ( Bill Murray / Tyrone Power ) finds over the course of a wanderous life that life & the world are just to quirky to worry about...
Dr. Alex Lauder in Daughter of The Mind; experiences a simple moment of understanding, by seeing the world through his own imagination, rather than trying to understand how it was created by others...
---
Are any of these mental states examples of 'Enlightenment'...???
Not in the great Zen, Buddhist or Hindu sense... But i doubt that there is some absolute sense of that sort...
If there were, then what is the net effect of it... ( ? )
The Criticism is most often suggested when trying to discourage youngsters from trying mind altering drugs;
To find themselves, or experience the oneness of the universe, is the question:
'What have those that have used these drugs, ever brought back to us, from these trips?'
It is fine to say that you've seen the face of gawd, but what is the tangible effect of that knowledge, on this life? The people that take these trips may insist that they are gaining from these experiences,
but if they are, the results are at best highly ambiguous, and far from compelling.
---
As a side point:
There is something akin to Enlightenment,
Which i would like to call: Awakenings
These are Events, Cultural Niches, Artifacts or Fragment of Knowledge
that Awakens One to The Greater Reality...
Examples::
Learning & Understanding The Proof for An Irrational Number.
Seeing 'The Son of Man' or 'The Castle in The Pyreneses' by Rene Magritte
Discovering that a Common Five Pointed Star has Embedded within it,

Several Golden Ratios.
Learning how a CPU in a Computer Works.

Reading Lao Tzu.
Getting a Really Friendly Back-Rub.
Making a Saw-Tooth Box.
Finding out How a Mirror Works.
Making a Flint Arrowhead.
Figuring out How a Differential Transaxle Works.
Writing Some Haiku for Yourself.
Discovering that No-One Knows What or How Electricity Actually Works.
Seeing Some Electron-Microscope Pictures.
Discovering an Obvious UnTruth for Yourself.
Finding out How DNA works.
Looking Hard at Clouds.


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Ten
What is a Fractional Reality?
The idea that reality is 'real' derives from our apparent perception of it as having qualities that we consider 'solid' as measured by our senses... It may well be that these perceptions are strongly weighted by those senses that are attached to our inherent solidity, and the solidity of those senses...
i.e.; Whatever your senses tell you is real, is determined by the 'reality index' of your senses...
Such that; If your reality was severely compromised by a sharp reduction in resolution, then this would be consistent with the physical (?) construction of your sensory network...
e.g.; ( As an Example ) If you were a Lego-Person, living in Legoland, you would most certainly feel that everything around you, and you, were 'real'... But that in a grander scheme of things, your reality would be 'less' than the reality of Organic People with a more highly developed biological framework... or at least, the biological organisms would think so...!!!
Using the Fractional Reality Index, We can then assign a decimal value to any reality that we may perceive, imagine or define in a certain manner...
Zero ( 0 ) would mean that The Reality is NonExistent
One ( 1 ) is the Ultimate Reality
Point Five ( .5 ) Is were You are.
For convenience, and in the absence of knowing were we really are, along the continuum of realities, point five is used as a temporary marker...
At some future time, when we get a better idea of where we really are, then we'll have to change all our other references as well.
What is the functionality of this Index...?
How might it be important to give The Simpson's an index of point three,
and Itchy & Scratchy an index of point two...???
The real usefulness of this is going to become more relevant when we begin to create more viable fractional realities within cogitator environments... and lawyers begin to wonder 'How 'Real' The People are within these Realities...?'
Will it be a crime to torment the beings within a computer/cogitator game environment?
Will be possible to design realities that emulate potential sensory realms of Point Six...
Or TransOne Realities...Realities that are more real than what the greatest gawds may dream of...???
---
i often wonder what it is about the brain, assuming--( perhaps falsely )--that the brain generates our minds, that turns the electrochemical patterns into conscious thoughts... maybe it's the patterns themselves...???
Maybe if you were to create a suitably complex & correctly designed pattern on a sheet of paper, then it would represent a genuine 'instantaneous' thought...! And if you created a series of these designs, they would correspond to a thought of a prescribed measure of time...
But how would the sheets of paper be connected to form this continuance of thought...???
Might it be possible to draw an animated cartoon on celluloid, that along with a sound track, it might also have a consciousness track, and while the cartoon is being shown, there would be, accompaning it, a stream of genuine consciousness associated with the characters as you viewed them...!!!
That sounds crazy... But is the way real consciousness works...So very much different...?
If we're going to persist in believing that We are Conscious,
Then maybe we should consider carefully that we should have available an Fractional Reality Index to give our creations the rights that we think are so important, if they should warrant them...
---
Then: After we've given our animated creations access to our Constitutional Bill of Rights,
We could extent these same rights to People from Other Countries.

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Eleven
What is The EightFold Path
of The Translucent Amoebae?

Perfect Egotism
This is different from normal egotism, in that normal egotists are concerned with their own well-being, to the exclusion of the well-bing of others. The Perfect Egotist is concerned with their own well-being, to the exclusion of absolutely everything else. The PE should never consider, even for a moment, the consequences of others, or how their actions will effect the universe in the future. The PE is also concerned with, no only their well-being for the next 5 minutes, 5 months or 5 Zillion years-- But for all eternity...! So that they must be concerned with how their selfishness in perpetuity plays out... This may sound confusing, since it now appears that The PE is concerned with their effect on others... in so much as they would be harming themselves by taking actions to produce enemies or pollute the air that they may breath in the future...! To the untrained eye, it may indeed appear that The PE is not acting like an egotist at all, But rather; A Perfect Altruist! It would be a very foolish thing to imagine this though, since the PE doesn't care one wit for the welfare of others...Despite all their actions & deeds.
Infinite Greed
It has been suggested that the trouble with the world is that there is too much greed...But the fact is; There is not enough Greed! If only men were More Greedy, indeed-- Embraced an ideology of Infinite Greed; The world would be much better place for it... Nothing would ever be carelessly wasted again, No homeless person would have their talents & labor squandered, The limited resources of the lands & oceans would be used with caution, so as to preserve their interest for future generations... It is only the foolishness of petty greed that makes so many of the damp masses believe that greed is a sin...! Nothing could be farther from the truth... Greed is a Great Virtue... As Great as Heedless Lust & Inconsiderate Cruelty.
Harmonic Violence
Vehement Destruction is an Tautological Axiom of Being. Without the continuance of havoc upon The World, New & Better things would not have the raw materials with which to make themselves! It has been offered however: That one shroud never break anything that you can't fix, unless you're going to eat it. -- The desired net effect is that; You should try to make the world a more complex & chaotic ( complexity approaching randomality ) place, and by destroying the old to make better the new, then Natural Harmonic Violence is served. In 'Nature' of course, this is not followed by any well considered cogitative process, but by the actions that fall in to place by the construction of a world which tends towards this end without reflection...! It then becomes a point of wonderment, Is it even possible to deviate from this path of Breaking the Old to Build the New, For this Irrefutable End Purpose-- put into play by the Universe itself...??? Is every act of 'seemingly' senseless violence, a necessary step towards this inevitable ambition...?
Translucent Appreciation
If Freewill & Harmonic Violence are intransigent elements of this reality, Then any consideration of work 'Well Done' is a false & futile perspective... --But then; That too is unavoidable.
ChronoIndependence
Time is an Illusion, brought about by a simple confusion over the idea of responsibility.
Unconditional Swirliness
You are merely an Observer.
Acquiescent Ingenuity
The Universe is your mind, Every action you take is what you are given to do.
An Unhesitating Yearning for Chaos
Chaos is what The Universe Seeks most of all.

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Twelve
Are We Living in a Universe that is So Cruel,
That it Allows us to be Aware that We are Robots?
It would seem to be so.

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Thirteen
Are Flies Conscious?
Flies as a general rule, lead such simple lives that it's hard to tell, from their behaviour, what it may be that they're thinking at any given moment...
( i have chosen flies as the principle example because they're just so adorable...!!! )
But there are other bugs that are about the same size, so we might reasonably expect that their brains are about the same size, and have the same general complexity, and are capable of the same spiritual achievements...( ? )
Such as Ants & Bees, or Dung Beetles-- that might be pushing a ball of dung along a forest floor, when unexpectedly, the ball hits an unseen obstacle...! The Dung Beetle will invariably struggle with the ball for a few moments, then finally leave her position and examine the front of the ball, locating the obstruction, and making all the calculations necessary to free the necessary path for the ball to proceed.
Such behaviour might be achieved with a computer controlled robot, but along with all the other indispensable natural performances, all that software becomes unwieldy at best...
The simplest bugs are capable of the most complex actions, that by any independent summation, will be in the zillions. Using the approach of prewired firmware to handle all these potentialities is clearly untenable.
The elegant solution is simply allow them to have some minimal sense of consciousness.
Curiously; i am equally certain that many humans to NOT have this same prerequisite necessity of consciousness, & are by all observable measurements, non-sentient machines...
perhaps remotely controls by the gawds, angels or the unconscious expectations of 'real' people...???

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Fourteen
How would your Continuum of Maturity Work?
One of things that most annoys me about our Judicial System, is that it gives allowances to youthful offenders, because they are considered 'less mature' than adults.
i really can't imagine too many things that are more contrary to the sum total of all my experiences with The Damp Masses! It seems to me, It has always seemed to me that people are endowed with a quantity of sophistication, self control, empathy &/or an holistic perception of their place in the universe-- at birth, and use these attributes with only the slightest variation throughout their lives.
If you're going to allocate a leniency towards the less mature, you should first determine who these less mature hamsters are first...! ( ? )
As far as i know, there is no test or measure for Maturity...!
i don't even think that your average Judge or Prosecutor could define exactly, or vaguely, what they mean by Maturity...Only that they could apply it --Willy Nilly-- to those that they either would like to prosecute as adults or not. As we've seen recently, this former idea of age related 'responsibility' has been discarded when it suits the populist view of deterministic vengeance, when it is over-due. ( ? )
i think it would be much more appropriate to real justice, if you first where to develop an uncheatable test of maturity, so that when it was required to determine culpability, that culpability would be applied where it was needed, even if it was shown to be applicable in a most counter-intuitive manner...!
Such as when a 40_year old, semi-retired rock musician was found having illicit, mutually consensual, highly deviant sexual acts with an unusually intelligent &/or unscrupulous 'minor'...
Using this Maturity Index, it may be determined that the maturity of the lesser aged youth, exceeded the considerably older 'adult' and thus, the youngster would be found to most culpable, and be sentenced to life in prison, and all our appropriate sympathy would be extended to the elder victim.
As it should be.
We all want to be 'Fair' don't we, and sometimes, fairness is most allusive...!


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Fifteen
What are Angels?
Angels are Nondenominational Beings that are generally quite mischievous. They are often 'Adopted' or 'Acquired' by Religions throughout the world as Messengers of ( or for ) 'Their' Gawd. But Angels are, in fact, completely without any allegiances to any organized group, cult, sect or lose confederation of union jacks. They, in all probability, are like Leopards, and don't even associate with one another, most of the time. Whenever they are observed in the act of 'Helping' someone, it is undoubtedly the case that they are acting for their own self interest, and doing so to distract themselves from an otherwise tedious existence. Likewise; When they are seen to be tempting the innocent to do 'Evil' -- It is for their amusement, and not to propagate an agenda that is decidedly contrary to another Celestial Beings 'Agenda'. It may well be that Celestial Being have agendas, But they are most certainly so very different from what we consider 'Good' or 'Evil' to be laughable. Everything that we consider 'Important' is decidedly Unimportant to them. What is their Relationship to us...? We are like hamsters to them; Amusing at best, Discardable when it suits them, at worst.

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Sixteen
What is the Best Evidence for...


Evolution
The Overall, Pulled Back, Seen from Afar; Big Picture. The Fossil Evidence seems to show a wide variety of Animals, that occupy a particular niche in time, and seldom stray from their own geological stratas. While the animals at any given layer seem to be just as sophisticated as the animals at any other layer, there is a hint of progressional change that suggests with a certain reasonable force, that each proceeding layer of fauna, were the mutating parents of layer above them.
Creationism / Intelligent Design
Life itself. The Sudden Appearance of Fully Formed, Organ loaded Fishes ( & such ) at the time of the PreCambrian Era. Various Animals since then, such as Bats, Butterflies, Social Insects, People & Penguins that defy any reasonable attempt to grow them out of something else that would have been sufficiently 'viable' to survive without being fully formed as we now experience them.
Time Travel
There are; Upon Reflection -- i'm sure ) Various 'Events' and other Situations that any thinking being would expect to happen on a routine basis -- But do not. Such as; principally so: Political Assassinations... It is Unimaginably Unrealistic to expect there to be the absence of Political Assassinations in this Nation, Given the Number of Guns widely available, and the routine nature of casual murders. Add to this the Corruption & Social Injustice that our Politicians habitually inflict on The Damp Masses, And it becomes all the More Untenable that at least some of these scoundrels aren't periodically knocked off...! You may be thinking -- But we DO have Political Assassinations from time to time, and to this -- i would offer that these apparent 'Exceptions' actually bolster my original thesis, Since in each of these 'Allowed' homicides, It has been Historically Determines that their liquidation has served The Greater Good...! There are so very many senseless Murders in this Country -- Where are the Occasional Sensible Murders! It is not simply that The Necessity of Time Travel to Control this Missing Epidemic disallows the 'Big' or 'Important' Assassinations, But they must squelch all of them, or people would get the idea that 'It's Alright' to go around Assassination our Politicians! This has happened to some degree with School yard Shootings... Once the first Original Thinker came forward to murder a few classmates &/or teachers -- It became 'Normal' to do this...! Why would These Alleged Time Travelers allow for these kinds of events to happen... Why allow 911 or The Bombing of The Murrah Building... In both of these cases, A considerable number of Peripheral Social Consequences resulted directly from them... Things that The Time Travelers felt could not be achieved in a less dramatic manner... You will note -- When considering these sorts of Events -- There is ( again ) a decided shortage of 'Pointless' Examples... ( ! ) How often does a disgruntled social outcast blow up a Federal Building, Without Generating a Wave of Social Reformation...? Those examples are Edited out of our time-line by The Time Travelers. What is the Effect of this on >Their<>
Gawd / Xi PointSix Controllers
You must certainly know some individuals that, despite the fact that they are living within the confines of Western Civilization, and Acting as Productive Members of Our Capitalist Experiment in Social Organization -- Are Imbeciles. ( that is; ) They defy any reasonable explanation as to how they can survive from day to day, since on any given occasion, when you are available to witness their behaviour & experiences as applied to Everyday Living -- Appear to Inflict upon themselves, At a Constant Rate; Innumerable Actions which should, without question, result in severe Injury or Death -- But do Not...! The Only reasonable explanation for this is that there is some 'Supernatural' Agency that is Changing The Rules of Ordinary Reality -- for Their Benefit. While the Exact Identification of this Agent is Unknown, ( Although widely assumed to be 'x' ) -- It must have those attributes generally earmarked for some given entity, variously ascribed to be 'Gawd'.
The World is Beautiful
It is Obviously Tautological & Fundamentally Axiomatic -- That Everything is Exactly what it Is. (-Even things that seem to things that they are not, are what they are, without an independent mind mistaking them for something else...! -) Then:: Everything that is Exactly What it Is; Is True. Everything that is True is Beautiful -- Thus: Everything in The World is Beautiful.
The World is Foul & Iniquitous
Given that Freewill is Logically Impossible, And that we are Irrevocably Attached to the Belief that each individual has this Quality, If this Assumption is True, As it must be -- Because An Entity without Freewill could Not hold onto any 'Belief' at all ( !!! ) -- Then it must to also be True that everything we Perceive as True; ( that is: ) All Sensory Perception of Reality, And the Structural Knowledge that we've constructed to 'Navigate' through this Reality -- Is in Fact:: False. Everything that we could possibly be 'Aware of' is Wrong. Everything that is Wrong / False is Ugly... Therefore: The World is Foul & Iniquitous.
We are living in a Fractional Reality
Physicists are now searching for GUTS; or Grand Unification Theory... This theory, as it currently being discussed, involves all sorts of wild & crazy ideas, many of which have no empirical evidence to support them yet, and conceptual notions that look fine on a mathematicians blackboard, but are not so easily transferred to our familiar 3 Dimensional Reality... Even if we allow that all the extra 'Dimensions' that are required to make sense of these new fangled ideas are merely attributes that everything in the universe shares, in disproportionate quantities... Such as some people being taller than others, and some particles having a faster 'qi-chacha' spin that others... There is still alot of discontinuity with how it might all fit together... For example: It has always seemed to me that if you have something like a Graviton and it somehow interacts with Protons, then there would have to be some new rule or particle interaction that governs how these two particles respond to each other when they meet...? i mean; you're trying to explain gravity by introducing a Graviton, and now that you've got one, you need another carrier particle for it actually do something when it comes in contact with other particles...??? ( ad infinium... ) i think that it may actually make much more sense to simply throw up our hands and concede that everything is Maya, just as the ancient Hindus have been saying for Centuries...! We are living in a 'faux' world, which curiously, makes everything that is so difficult to explain, so very easy to explain. There is plenty of room in the nonsensical rules of a computer screen saver to allow for something like gravity, ESP, impossibly manuverable flying saucers, leprechauns & Bible belt Republicanism.
All you have to do first, is concede that there are many things about our universe that simply 'Can Not Be' and then from there, look for a new model that allows you to explain everything using Occum's Razor.
It may be that Occum would twist helplessly in his grave if he were to learn of how we're applying his famous 'Rule of Thumb' these days, but when it helps us to 'Explain' difficult things, in a world where we're running out of patience for unexplainable things, then all the better-- For dunderheads like us.
Impossible Things that make a Screen Saver Universe more Palatable
Freewill, Consciousness, Gravity, Magnetism-- These 'Forces' by the way, are routinely 'applied' to the greater study of physics whenever someone asks about 'How does it work?'. The answer is invariably; 'It's a force!' -- 'eh?' Like Magnets for example... The carrier 'force' for electromagnetism is the photon... the same particle that squirts out of lightbulbs & television sets... Is this the same photon that makes magnets stick together...??? No-- Instead, Magnets and Gravity work with 'Forces' -- But -- While physicists insist that they have everything fully explained, turn away abruptly when you ask them to explain these forces...! When they begin to 'Describe how they behave' be sure to steer them back to the original question, which was 'What are they?' NOT -- How do they behave..
Don't even get me started on how everything is supposed to fall at the same speed under the force of Gravity... We've all seen this experiment, first performed ( ? ) by Galileo, where a hammer & a feather are dropped, and fall at the same speed, in a vacuum, ( when available ). The truth is ( of course! ) that the hammer falls faster, but only very, very slightly faster, because when you compare the size difference between the earth & the hammer to the earth & the feather, they're practically the same... Try dropping the moon and a feather...! When you do, does someone standing on the moon see the earth falling towards 'it' -- falling at the earth speed for gravity, or the moon speed for gravity... which is 1/6th's of earths...!
Of course, there are lots of 'little' things that don't make sense as well, like blind newts in caves, tidal forces, the size of the moon & female psychology...!!!
This world is just impossible. The only way that it could exist, is if it existed only on paper...
Or inside a poorly written computer program.
A Zeroless Number System
You will no doubt recall that when you were a child, in the 5th grade say, you were told that the modern number system is entirely dependent on the invention of the zero...
Why they would tell us this, is part of a greater mystery... since, it is quite possible to create a system number system that is just as effective as the decimal system that we have, without a zero... It's been pointed out to me that this system does require a zero, and an an indicator of the quantity of nothing... But of course when i say that this system is zeroless, i mean to say that it does not use the zero as a placeholder...of or grater numbers...
There easiest way to think of these system is imagine that instead of using common numbers, we use the alphabet instead, since by using letters, we will avoid the confusion of thinking in numbers and non numbers simultaneously...
This new numbers system, starts off easily enough with the letter A representing a quantity of One, B is used to represent Two and so on, until we reach Z which is TwentySix... Then something quite EXPECTED happens, the next 'number' is A which like the decimal system may be broken down with columns, so that the left had column is sets of TwentySix's, and The right had column is Sets of Ones... So that the First A is One Set of TwentySix, and the other A is One Set of One... which equal TwentySeven, One more than Twenty Six which was Z...! When you get to Z's, the next number is AAA, which is One set of TwentySix Times TwentySix, Plus One set of TwentySix, Plus One.
Further, you can create Multiplications and Addition Tables with this Numbers System, and you'll Soon be on your way to filling out this Base 26 Mathematical Method...
The curious part of course is why would our teachers and such go to such great lengths to teach us that this system is impossible...???
i very much suspect that the real reason is, like so many other 'untruths' they all fit together to make us think in a certain kind of way, hand this way' has been dictated by the time travelers from the future that don't want us to -advance- to quickly... So they set us road blocks for us intellectually... an it takes us years, sometimes hundreds or thousands of years to 'get over' these 'misconceptions...!!! It really doesn't make any sense that 6000 years ago, humans began living in organized cities, and developed all the 'bread & butter' technologies that allow for the basic tools of industry to develop, and then they all sat on their hands for 6000 ( or more ) years.... Really now, a mere 100 years ago, people were living with the same basic tools of industry & technology that they had 400 years previously... But for some reason... The Damp Masses were -allowed- to begin developing again. and our level of technology exploded in literally the last 50 years to accumulate 98% of all the innovation since we began putting on pants...??? Was it the we achieved some milestone in social development, so that the time travelers front he future would allow us to jump forward, or was it some 'external necessity' such as the infusion of bulbous grey faced aliens, that was the missing element to this sudden advancement...???Until someone else sees that there's a mystery here, no one is even asking these questions...!!!
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Seventeen
What is An Obvious UnTruth?
Have you even met anyone with 'Red' Hair...?
i bet it was closer to 'Orange'...!
Now the curious thing about this is; When every you try to correct someone for believing an Obvious UnTruth, they will become Violently Opposed to seeing it 'Your way'.
Why is this?
i think it is probably mostly that you are trying to break down their most cherished axioms that they depend upon for a firm footing to believe in Reality... and at some, not so well hidden, subliminal level, they know that Reality is Bunk...! Where do turn, where can you find peace of mind when you're forced to realize that everything is Wrong, Absolutely Everything...!
If you can think of some more examples of Obvious Untruths... Be sure and send them to me...
They are very hard to spot, and i suspect that there are LOTS of them...!
Crazy People and Unruly children may be of great benefit in discovering more of them...!


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Eighteen
What is A Suspicious Singularity?
Like an Obvious Untruth, Except that it's not quite so Obvious.
Examples:
Plagues &
Forest Fires
Doesn't it seem 'Crazy' to you that a plague or a forest fire would ever 'Die down'...??? Once something like that Started, it may go into remission somewhere, but after it's spread itself out for a few hundred square miles, or so, it out just keep eating it's pry until there was none left...??? What suspicious Singularities teach us; is that there is some 'Missing' Component to these things that is not obvious, and that missing element may be inaccessible to us...! Such that it's not that we are too dumb to see it, but that it's unavailable to us, no matter how hard we look...! It may be that this missing element is The Will of Gawd, and this gawd has a agenda that may not be as benevolent as we might hope...?

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Nineteen
What is An UnNecessary Cruelty?
( And- Why are They So Sweet...! )
People may claim to enjoy smoking cigarettes; but the enlightened amoung us, know that they are really being smoked by the sticky molecules within those cigarettes!
The Same with Sex; You may think that you enjoy sexual intercourse, The exchanging of saliva & the gentle touching of easily injured puffy regions ---
But you are really being driven by the biological, electrochemical urge to procreate, against your better, often maligned, judgement.
Some of things are, from time to time, explained in terms of their evolutionary advantage to the species.
Sometimes these explainations may be quite clever & amusing...
Humor, for example; is said, by some; to have evolved as a subliminal, or subconscious, ability to recognize dumbness...!
Early men & women that could see, in a moment, what was dumb without having to 'think' about it, where at a distinct advantage over those that had to learn what was a dumb, and often; fatal, mistake, by trail & error.
Cruelty evolved to help us survive in a social environment by implimenting this same approach as Humor; which acts as a tool of Intelligence by expressing 'AntiSmartness' --
...By giving us an intuitive tool which we act on without the pretense of thinking or considering; in those situations which necessitate 'Justice'.
Cruelty is AntiJustice;
But--! It acts as a important social tool to demonstrate what 'should be' Fair...
Just as Humor teaches us; What 'should be' Smart.
Because Cruelty is such a dull blade for cutting into a matter of Social Order, The lessons that it teaches us are slow & literally torturous...!
But without it--
Without the Enthusiasium that these molecularly driven emotions give us; we would no more be prone to have children by carefully considering their benefits, than we would ever 'decide' to be considerate to others within a social framework.
'Selfish Manipulation of contrived situations' may have been substituted for our natural prediliction towards petty & unnecessary Cruelties, But that longer road would have required us to become inventive; on top of the required observational behaviouralism, to see what the results of such intelligent exploitation may have yeilded.
The Passion of Cruelty is by far the simpliest & most effective method of achieving The Purity of Gawdliness.


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Twenty
How can i Truly Believe Something that I Know is Wrong.
Many Religions & Philosophies,
Such as Hinduism that teaches that the world is illusion ( Maya ),
and Christianity that claims you can move mountains,
if you only had sufficiant faith...
( And also implies that this world is illusion,
since presumably the true world is the Heavenly Realm of Gawd(s) & Angels...
Plus: This world was created by the merely Spoken Word of Gawd...
Which sounds very much like a Virtual Representation;
Using the Vinacular of Marginally Literate Goat Herders... )
The Matrix Trilogy also suggests this,
as well as The Translucent Amoebae's view that we are living in a Screen Saver Universe...
...In which; The Reality Generator that creates our World,
saves Memory & Computational Cycles by allowing us to define our own environment in such a way that it shapes what we experience,
By what we-- Expect Will Happen.
So-- Just Believing in something may ( ? ) substantially increase the probability of it becoming 'Real' ( within our fractionally translucent reality )...
How can you do this...?
How can you Genuinely Believe Something with Sufficient Confidence to Fool The Reality Generator-- That you know is Just Plain Wrong...?
Ordinarily; You believe things based on whether or not, or how well--
they fit within your heirarcial pyramid of experiences...!
But you NOW Know that all those Experiences were faked,
or implanted into your Mind,
which actually exists far from this physically unreal bulb of spurious lumps...!!!
Any thought you have--
Will be just as REAL as any other Thought, Recollection or Notion that you may have,
So that when The Reality Generator samples your Consciousness to determine how it will paint your customized reality for you individual eyeballs...
It will pick out those things that you've fabricated
from your unspoken shadowy dreams
& diabolically squalid chimera's of sexual gratifications... ( ! )
Will it work?
Try it and See for yourself...!!!


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Twentyone
Is Brown a Colour?
We see so many Browns that it seems ridiculous that it is not a colour... But there is No Brown in the Rainbow, and Computers can not display brown on their monitors, nor print brown on a Ink-Jet Printer...! Considering Brown on a computer for a moment, The computer has an understanding of colour, by assigning each of it's pixels a value that is derived from the three phosphorous lights that combine to make all the colours of it's vast palette... But when searching for Brown, we discover that given each of these three pure hues; red, blue & green ( pigments use red, blue & yellow / and tempera paints ( ??? ) uses magenta, ultra marine, & yellow ) when you turn all of them off, you get black. Turn all of them on, and you get White, Set them all at half value, and you get grey. Set this grey with a little more Red, and you get Pink, a little less, & you get a dirty green, but not brown! No matter how you mix them, it will teasingly avoid coming around to brown...!!! If you've think you've seen brown on a computer monitor, what you've really been looking at is a dark red...! What does this mean for natural Browns on Trees or for the pungent tones of poop...!? These are a confused illusion of your eyeball to discern the wonderful ballet of pure-light colours jumping back & forth on these surfaces...!

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Twentytwo
Will it be Possible to Travel Faster than the Speed of Light?
The big question that goes unaddressed when some wag insists that you can't travel faster than the speed of light, is Why can't light travel faster than the speed of light...!???
When they figure that out, i suspect it will be easy to work our way around it.

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Twentythree
What is a Difficult Puzzle?
An Ordinary Puzzle, As given as a Recreational Pastime; Is most easily identified by its having the answer to it carefully catalogued in the back of the book, usually before The Index. A Difficult Puzzle has no known solution! Its Solution, if it has one, will be found to be Definitive. That is; Any attentive 5th grader that is able to comprehend the desired objective of The Puzzle, Will, When The Puzzle has be Solved, Know that it has been Solved! Another attribute of The Difficult Puzzle, Is that it has no reasonable application or will contribute in any way to the greater good of society or Western Civilization.
Two Examples of A Difficult Puzzle
One
Numerical Alphabet
Given that some words are definitively associated with certain numbers,
Such as Alone with One, Bicycle with Two, CubeRoot with Three...
Find Words that are linked to their place in the Alphabet.
Allow for some Craziness when needed...
Argon with Eighteen ( R ) 18th Letter of the Alphabet!
Argon is the 18th Element on the Periodic Table of The Elements!
---
Two
Thinking Outside the Box; That the box came in.
You have no doubt seen the puzzle which asks you to connect these nine dots with 4 lines.
. . .
. . .
. . .
It is easy enough to connect them with 5 lines, but to use 4 lines, you have extend them beyound the limit of the box that the outer dots define. That is the point of the Ordinary Puzzle.
To Think Outside The Box, That The Box Came In...
You are asked to solve this Puzzle with 3 Lines...
2 Lines & 1 Line...!!! ( ? )
This is an old Difficult Puzzle, and has been solved for 3, 2 , 1, 0 As well as 7 & 9 Lines!
The One Line Solution is particularly Elegant...!
The 2 Line Solution is still open, as it requires certain assumptions that i'm dissatisfied with...!!!
Each Solution should take a decidedly different approach, so that the 2 line solution is not simply a corrupted version of the One Line Solution...! As such; The 7 & 9 Line Solutions are unsatisfactory, as they use the same general approach.! The 6 & 8 Line Solutions are still Wide Open.

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Twentyfour
When a Fly Cries, Do The Angels Sing?
This is sometimes thought of as: The Problem of Caring
Just about every Religion that has ever attracted more than a basement full of adherents,
Has claimed that Angels are the messengers for Their Gawd.
i'm here to tell you that Angels are Real,
and that they are Strictly "NonDinominational".
That is; If they do have any 'Religious' beliefs, the religion that they attend to, is certainly not any of the ones that we ( The Damp Masses ) know about.
Out experiences with Angels are usually fairly mixed, but even so, when quixotic beings try to get us into mischief of one kind or another, or act more favorably towards our enemies than ourselves-- We ascribe that such beings are deamons, and not Angels!
But i suspect that they are all 'Bascially' one kind of being,
and 'Basically' adhere to one a)moral standard-- As that species...!!!
Each individual Angel may be relatively good or not particularly good,
But what i'm suggesting is-- That there are not two distinct kinds of quixotic beings, One good, and the other; Decidely evil.
i don't believe in 'evil' to begin with,
and to further antagonize you,
i don't believe in 'good' either...!
Whatever is favorable for YOU; that is good.
Whatever is Unfavorable for YOU; that is evil.
i've been trying now for sometime, to find a single example of something,
some attitute, some directive, some rule of thumb
that is consistently good for EVERYONE...!!!
( never mind cows, chickens & parameciums for the moment! )
And i can't seem to find one.
If The One True Gawd is genuinely 'Good'...
Then what is the nature of that goodness...???
So-- If Angels are Not motivated by a Universal Idealization of Goodness...
What does motivate them?
Self Interest.
Same as everybody else.
Ideally; When you act towards your own self-interest,
in a manner so that your self-interest is held to be benificial to you for 'the long haul'...!
...Then it is only inevitable that some of those actions that you take,
will benefit; indirectly, the interests of others.
When Angels act in a manner that benefits your self-interest,
rest assured that they are not acting primarily for your self-interest,
But for their own, foremostly!
and Secondarily; ( Perhaps ) for the Best Interests of The Universe.
[ In this sense,
The Universe includes the best interests of The One True Gawd,
as; from our perspective; The One True Gawd & her best interests;
qualitatively determine whether The Universe will continue to exist or not!
Such that; They are Equivalent ]
When a Fly cries; Do the Angels Sing?
As often as not.


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Twentyfive
How Can I Be Creative?
Somepeople are convinced that being creative consists of plugging into somekind of Muse Consortium, a wonderland like carnival atmosphere where the normal rules of cause and effect are temporarily suspended as the recepients brain is allowed to fill up with the dreams of gawds, deamons & faeries with stomaches full of LSD laced cookies.
Sadly-- And Fortunately! It's not like that!
In order to be Creative, all you have to do is pull a Creative Resultant Formula out from your loose-leaf notebook and fill in a few of the blanks,
Then with a tiny amount of Inductive Reasoning--
You'll have an entirely new idea!
In practice: It works something like this--
The number of Formulas are probably infinite,
but only a few dozen are easily available...
To find ( or steal ) one, examine a well known and 'clever' idea that you particularly like, and backwards engineer it to discover where it came from...
Rene Magritte's "Chateau des Pyrenees" for example...
This is a rather famous painting of a castle atop a large boulder,
that is floating over a seascape.
Where did the idea for this painting come from?
Well-- Obviously, without interviewing Rene, we have to make some guesses, but guesses in this case are actually more productive than asking the artist, because the artist; particularly in the case of surealists, will almost certainly try to mislead us into thinking all sorts of wrong-headed things...!!!
So-- Castles are quite common,
so he probably wanted to paint a castle,
and the first doodle may have easily been one on top of a mountain,
and below that, at the foot of the mountain,
a beach and beside that;
The sea.
Remove the beach
and there you have it!
That's being creative!
Simply start out with a well understood idea or concept,
which may include any number of objects & the things those objects do,
and then either:
1) find a new relationship between those elements
2) take away an elemental connecting concept
( such as a beach that connects a mountain to the sea )
How do you do this?
That's the most magical part...
being able to think a 'Strange' thought.
Allowing your brain to construct a sentence that contains ideas arranged in a novel way...
Seeing the functionality of a relationship between two, or more,
objects or concepts that no one has previously seen!
At this point;
Let us take a moment to examine another, creatively related concept...
and that is:
What makes an Idea 'Good'?
This is Easy! A Good Idea is One that has Application!
If an idea can be applied to other, well known, understood & accepted ideas, then it too; becomes a good idea.
A bad idea is one that lacks application...
Such as a Hexagonical Wheel.
As a painter; A Hexigonical Wheel may be painlessly inserted into an illustration and no harm will be done...!
But try to invent a Hexigonical Wheel and attach it to a Car or Bicycle,
and you'll find that it's not a good idea!
If you're trying to come up with a good idea,
simply pull 'things' out of a hat, perhaps a Literal Hat!
and then:
Apply Inductive Reasoning to them as a pair...
What is the relationship between these two items;
How can they be 'Attached' to one-another to become 'more' than either of them have to offer by themselves.
This takes a little practice;
but the important thing is-- It's not magical,
It's a skill that you can hone into with practice
and the studious exploitation of your underutilized brain...!


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Twentysix
Will Aliens ( When We Meet Them ) Look Like Us?
Or Alternately; Are we living in a Star Trek Universe?
There are two schools of thought on this:
Yes
& No.
The No camp thinks that there are just so many different ways to make a animal, that the chances of an intelligent being, that is well versed in the skill of piloting a starship and even remotely resembling a human being, will be ludicrously improbable.
---
The Yes bevy is attached to the more axiomatic idea that
'Only Possible things are Possible'
which differs from the opinion that 'Anything is Possible'.
As such; If you look around you, at all the other animals in the world, particularly, for our current purposes, the kinds most unlike us...
Such as Insects, for example;
if we're only going to consider multicellular, fauna...! ( ? )
Then you'll notice that if you take a beetle and make it big enough to hold an intelligent brain, it will have a strong resemblance, without modification, to the humanoid form.
It will have too many legs, but i'm thinking that evolution will favor the least number of legs that an animal can get by on, especially if it's going to be a 'big' animal...??? That is; If a small animal, like a beetle...
--which; by the way, reproduce in the thousands--
...were to loose a leg by some misfortune, then it would, in all probability limp off and do reasonably well without it, or it's many brothers & sisters would pick up the slack.
A big animal, however; will most certainly die after loosing a leg,
and the more legs you have, that you have to invest resources in,
only provides your enemies with another leg to chew off.
Thus: The fewer legs you have, the better for your evolutionary chances of survivial.
Likewise; BiSymetry is strongly perfered,
A mouth and Anus located at opposite ends of the organism,
Multiple Sensory apperatus located all at one end,
to more easily examine things...
and so on.
We were not accidently taken to this form,
but trimmed carefully to this shape by the ever frugal nature of Darwins scissors.
Green hair,
17 fingers,
hooves for feet,
Knees that bend backwards...
may occur from time to time at these futuristic picnics,
but the group photos will invariably include alot of very funny looking people,
just as they always have.


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BonusQuestion:a
What are the Key Ideas to Make a Cabbage Code?
To be Addressed Later...!!!

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BonusQuestion:b
When is It Alright to Use Irony?
A short excerpt from:
The Carbon Based Mistake
See... I refuse to put emoticons :) on my email. Sometimes that confuses people, but damn it! I can't bring myself to use those fucking things! Maybe sometimes I will write "hahahaha" if I am really worried about an emotion not being represented correctly, but most of the time I say if they don't get the joke: fuck 'em.
---
i hate to use emoticons too, although--
i used one for along time, it was this one:
d:-D
because i started wearing a ball cap at about that time,
and i wore it ALL THE TIME...!!!
But getting back to Irony and Emoticons...
i don't think you should ever use Irony when you're with people because there are alot of genuinely crazy people that genuinely have all kinds of the craziest imaginable attitudes and beliefs about EVERYTHING...!!!
So that when you are talking to either friends or strangers, and you bring up some topic, and saying -sarcastically- ( ironically ) some such & such...
Your listeners will really have no idea that you are saying is exactly the opposite of what you really believe, and the net effect will be to simple confuse them!
It would be nice if we lived in a mostly reasonable world, where most people believed sensible things, and only a few crazy politicians &/or foreigners would occasionall express some outlandish idea...
But the world that we are actually living in, contains so many crazy people, with so many crazy ideas, that the real test of a genuinely sane person--
is the awareness that they alone, in the entire world, may, very well, be in posession of an idea or belief that is actually sensible!
When you do slip, and say something Ironical, or an out & out LIE in the form of BullSh*t or somesuch...
Then i would further advise you to NEVER back down and say;
'I was just kidding...!'
That is SOOOO! lame...!
i hate it when someone does that...!!!
What should you do?
If you're worried about the people that you're with will think of you...
Then you have to make them realize that you were in fact; Just Kidding!
But you can't tell them that!
So you instead have to keep it up, adding more & more rediculous facts or opinions to your previously stated convictions--
until FINALLY; they 'Catch on' that 'You can't be serious'...
If however someone asks; "Are you Serious...!!!???"
You must always insist that you are...!
This may result in a situation where they never do 'Catch-On'
and bitter feelings all around may result,
OR it will become painfully obvious that the company that you're keeping
consists principly of imbiciles & nitwits.
So-- When can you use Irony?
In print perhaps, and always anonomously.

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UselessInformation
Which President Installed The First Bathtub into The White House?
Millard Fillmore

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DisturbingRevelation:x
Have you ever Strangled an Eleven Year Old Girl
in New Mexico, Just to Watch Her Die?
i don't know where you may have heard such rumors,
But they are grossly out of proportion to what actually occurred...!

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DisturbingRevelation:y
Have you ever Ejaculated on face of the ExGovernor of Idaho, while he was Sleeping?
That's it... No more Disturbing Revelations...
i was hoping that this segment would be light-hearted and amusing,
but i now think that there should be an investigation of where you're getting your questions from...!!!

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DisturbingRevelation:z
Just One More...
Are you really an Indestructible Robot from The Future?
i'm not allowed to say.

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