The Disappearing Elephant

The Amazing Retardo's Disappearing Elephant

Rain, Rain, Rain...!!!

1. It's been raining, pretty much, non-stop here along the Hawai'ian islands for some 3 weeks...
   Torrentially so in many places...
   We're supposed to get around 1 1/2 inches this month, and have gotten nearly 12...!
   Amazingly; we are only up by 200% for the year so far...
   Usually; Torrential rain around here will come on very quickly, dump a huge amount of rain, and then go away...
   When i was here several years ago, a huge tropical rain storm tore out a bunch of streets in the hills and then when i first came here last year, there was a big storm that flooded the library's basement at the local university... destroying a few billion dollars worth of rare documents...!!!
   But this last storm has lasted for such a long time that these sorts of things just keep happening and happening... A damn has broken, sewage has been overflowing, roads are being torn up, the ground everywhere has turned to mush... and i can't get my socks to dry out.
   It is making me very crazy.
2. i added a bunch of new pictures to the Picoans section, and although they're not 'sized' very well...
   ( this stupid blogger-editor is not accepting the sizes that it used to...??? )
   ... they are still reliably awful.
   i really need to go through them and edit them down to the best 5% or so...
3. My left foot hurts. It looks OK, but it feels like i may have stepped on a big nut or something...???
4. There is this weird effect that has befallen me several times...
   ( how can i not learn from the first few times...!!! ??? )
   ...and that is that when i get my shorts wet, and then sit for a few hours, my butt develops a huge Owie...!!!
   This latest one has finally drained, but it still hurts when i sit on it.
5. i have another owie on my right hand that may or may not be getting better...???
6. Although it may not look like i've been very active with my blog lately, i've been adding things, and reorganizing page in the 'Alternative Contents' sections...
   Look around in them for new stuff...
7. i keep forgetting to mention that my old Church back in Spokane Washington,
   Saint Paul Lutheran Church
   2159 North Hamilton St. Spokane, WA. 99207
   Has gone out of Business...!!! And been sold...!!!
   ( This was a few months ago...! )
   Have you ever heard of a church going out of business...???!!!
   [ Naturally-- i can't find any new about this on the Internet...!!! ]
   i have seen 3 McDonald's go out of business and each has struck me as a sure sign of the coming Apocalypse...???

Cleaning Out My SubJournal

My Subjournal is full...
and i've already gotten a new one...
But i need to 'Save' some dregs from the old one before i transfer it to... ( ??? )

- - - -
Why Not?
( i'm sure !!! ??? i already did a blogpage on this, but i can't find it...??? )

1. Full Character Access on Computers
2. Instant Start Up
3. Robot Bank Robberies
4. Call in Bank Robberies
5. Heretical T.V.
6. More Sensible Assassinations
7. AI
8. Really viable robot pets
9. Commercial Submarines
10. Custom Cars
11. Freedom of Fashion
12. Ugly People revolt.
13. Animals with Infered Vision
14. Why do Smart People let the dumb people run the world.
15. Super Crimminals ( Artists as Crimminals )
16. Jedi-Knight / Templar / Samuri's...
17. Teaching of Stupid Science
18. Recognition of heretical Science
19. Colonize the moon
20. Bad Space program / looking for life on Mars
21. Homelessness
22. War on Terror
23. Lack of a Free Press
24. Obvious Untruths
25. Masturbating in Public...
    Sure it might be rude, like spitting... But why is it Illegal...?

- - - - - -
Psychological Test
THERAPIST
THEME
TOGETHER
THEOCRAT
THEREAFTER
THEREFROM
THEREINAFTER
THERE'D
ATHEIST
ATONE
ATTIRED
ATISSUE
BEACON
BEARING
BEAROUT
NOTABLE
NOTATE
NOTICE
ANTHEM
REDACT
SHEARED
SHEATHING
BATHER
FATHER
FATALLY
FATTIER
- - - - -

ScreenSaver Universe

1. SaberToothed Animals
2. Giantism is various animals
3. Gratuitious evolution of unnecessary features
4. Best Proof- All the things that should be happening, but aren't
5. Golden Ratio Variance...
   And other significant proportions...
6. Just So Falacy explanations for 'x'
7. Magick as violations of 'Natural Law'
8. Along with The Other 'Just So' attributes that contribute to life being possible, what is the allowed variance of 'Water to Land'...?
   If a planet had too much water, fire using animals couldn't evolve, but too little would mean that life might never get started...?

- - - - -

How do they Know that...?

1. E=MC^2
   Where did the C come from...?
   That's always looked very suspicous to me...!
2. How far away is the Sun?
3. How big is Jupiter?
4. What is Entanglement?
   It seems to me that if, under the conditions usually attributed to Entangled particles... Everything would be Entangled with Everything else...???
5. What is a Magnetic Field?
6. What are the chances of a photon dropping INTO the Zero point background energy reserve...?
7. That the calculations for pi, are really pi?
8. Cobe results were the result of the 3 degrees of background radiation...?
   It always looked to me that the pictures looked just like what i would have expected from a steady state universe...?!

- - - - -

What if someone visited the future
and it contained innumerable 'Things' ( transport devices, off path zones, devices... ) that were made up of 'Forms' that the visitor could not see...! His brain, as an infant, was never exposed to these 'shapes' and thus, as an adult, could not see them...!
( tests with kittens seem to bear this out...! )
In the visitors brain, these unusual shapes are processed as 'Regular' forms up to the point where the brain tries to find an example, or previous reference to the 'regular, Non-amorphous, structured form... So that it's not classified as a previously known form, nor does it qualify as a unclassified shape, such as a puddle or cloud... These shapes pass all the tests for 'real shapes' but there just aren't any examples of them for the brain to 'See'...
These shapes would 'fall between' the cracks of things like Cirlces and Squares... Not one, not the other, and not exactly an amalgum of both either...!!!
- - - -
Experiment to Prove Reincarnation

1. Select a large number of city birds ( people would most likely choose to reincarnate into a bird that is going to live in a familiar environment, IF they chose to reincarnate into a bird at all...!!! ( Some may chose Romatic Birds... But this sampling may prove sufficient ) -- Presumably )
2. Assume that only a small number of these birds are from Humanimal Reincarnations, and that furthermore, the humanimals that they previously came from, were from a 'Western' Civilization.
3. Fabricate a gizmo that will display or present combinations of 2 sets of 2 objects ( 4 objects in all - per trial run ) such that one set is obviously related to one another, such as butter and toast, But in a way that a non-human would not immediately 'see'...
   And the other set would not be obviously related...
   ( Someone very clever may be able to find a link between them, but it would not be 'Obvious' ) -- Such as a Ring of Keys and a Tampon.
4. Assume that only a human mind can discern that the related pair of objects are related.
5. And that the bird can then choose that set, and recieve a small, encouraging reward.
6. If a statistically large number of birds-- OR one or two birds can consistently chose the related pairs, then the simplest explanation is that they are humanimal minds currently inhabiting bird forms.

- - - -
Archytypes

1. War
2. Menstual Blood
3. Sun
4. Moon
5. Jealousy
6. Litter Free Neighborhoods
7. Ruined Cars
8. Mail Boxes
9. Ugly Women
10. Smokers
11. Buckets
12. Genitial Mutilation
13. Shopping Malls
14. Important Hat
15. Things Painted with Flags, Eagles, Political Animals
16. Arrows
17. Lines on Roads
18. Wallet
19. Large Marked Bags
20. Masturbating on a Bus, in a closet...
21. Closets full of broken toys
22. Shorts
23. Genitals showing through
24. Filthy hands / face / neck
25. sores
26. rolls of fat
27. patchy grass
28. gaurd rails
29. laws
30. lies
31. riding animals
32. private spots
33. swimsuit area
34. mice
35. neon green signs
36. pets for children, drunks, lonely housewives
37. difficult puzzles
38. windows
39. polygons
40. foreign facial features
41. flow charts
42. street lights
43. street signs
44. yard sale
45. buildings as churches
46. bleeding
47. ink
48. the differenc shapes of leafs, clouds
49. mathematical variations
50. underwear as a
51. set theory
52. Suzies tangerine eyebrow pencil
53. The Picture of Everyone
    This idea is that you can make a picture that is so ambiguous that it looks like anyone
54. Confusion...
55. and so on...

- - - - - - -

The Gullible Skeptic
The gullible skeptic is someone, that for whatever reasons, chooses ( if this is the right word ) to agree with whatever the broken scientists ( pathalogical skeptics / current orthodoxy ) says is true.

- - - -
And lots more...
to boring to transcribe

SubJournal....

My SubJournal is pretty much filled up, and i need to get a new one...
Would you like ( this one ) my old one...
What is it exactly...???
It's just a notebook of ideas and some doodles, and scratch pad things, and reminders and whatever i needed to write down, so i wouldn't forget... unless i forgot to write it down...???
Contains genuine Aspergerian Rants...!!!
( Not quite as crazy & insightful as Schzophrenic Rants...! ??? )
Send me your Addie...!!!
[ Will be sent by First Class Postage : Poste Haste } ( !!! )
If you like it; You can send me something fun...
( Like a Tabloid Subscription...!!!
i wish i could afford to subscribe to all of them...!!! )

Recent Biddles...

1. i have a new owie, that is pretty much like my old owie, except that it's smaller, and on my right hand, near my thumb. It had been a even older owie that was slowly making a recovery, but i had to pick at the scab and calloused skin there, and i managed to pull off some fresh skin, and that became infected...!!! Even though i took great pains to smear some 3 in 1 antibacterial salve over it immediately...!!! And now it Hurts way more than my old knee owie and it is spreading along my arm...!!! It has a bandage over it now, and under that, some liquid skin, and i'm not going to even look at it for at least 3 days...!!!
   
2. i was on the bus about a week ago, on my way to Kapolei, and i took my calculator out to fool around with... This Calculator is an HP48gx, the last really nice Calculator that HP made... They have since remade the 48 and come out with a 49, but everyone that has either of these newer versions agree that they are really lame... Especially in production quality...!!! HP used to make calculators that wore like bricks, and now they are turning out the same cheap crap as Texas Instruments and Casio... Gawd Bless their twisted souls, everyone one of them.
   So anyways... i made an amendment to a directory ( file of programs ) and in order to save it to a protected memory card ( that would remain intact if the calculator proper, crashed for some reason, which is rare, but not unheard of... ) i would have to take the card slot cover off, then turn the memory card to read/write... rather than just read... which is safer for the data...! So i opened the card to the calculator, then saved the amended directory, and then the bus turned the corner to Kapolei, and i jumped up and got off, and i forgot to put the card slot cover back on...!!! And it was Lost...!!!
   But i didn't discover this for several days...!!!
   And i had a coniption fit... ( ??? )
   BECAUSE-- Without the cover, the cards might slip out, and if the merged card slipped out ( i have two, one is merged and one is for archives ) and the calculator was turned on, memory would be corrupted...!!! And everything in memory would be lost... which is about 200K or 200 pages of data...!!!
   So i Purged alot of it, in order to Free that card, and convert it to an archive formated card, like the other one... So i lost alot of data, in order to save some of it...!!!
   i cried and cried...!!!
   Then; after i posted my dilemma on the HP newsgroup, someone wrote and told me that Calcpro still offers these -Obsolete- parts...!!!
   So i ordered one, which was 3$ and spent another 6$ for postage...!!!
   But this guy that told me about Calcpro, said that some people think that they're disreputable...!!!
   So stayed tuned to see how that works out...
   
3. It's been raining ALOT over here in Hawai'i lately... for like about 10 days or more...
   Torential Rains...!!! 5_inches in One Hour...!!! ( in some places...!!! )
   It rained really hard where i sleep, last night, but only for about an hour and a half, and i only got slightly damp.
   
4. Have you heard about The Puzzle that involves an airplane and a conveyer belt runway...???
   See my commentary and leave a response...!!!
   
5. March 10th ( Friday )
   i opened my HP48 and saw that my Equilibrium Calibrator was just about off scale for AN EVIL DAY...!!! The graphic displays how good or Evil the day will be by colouring in a portion of a Circle, like a pie slice, and today it was all black except for a tiny sliver on the right side. Left side is Bad, Right Side is Good... So that The Left side was entire filled in, and nearly all of the right side, by way of around the bottom and back towards the top...!!!
   Plus: The Equilibrium Calibrator ( Not it's real name... What would be a good name for this program...??? ) also allows dead people to talk through it, and todays message was:
   "SHITBOOKINDING MIGRA"
   The dead are often very cryptic with their messages, but along with the severe Equilibrium index, this didn't sound good...!!!
   Then: Fortunately ( ??? ) after looking up the Fragments File, which records the numerical amount of the Equilibrium Index, As opposed to the imprecise graphical representation... i saw that it only recorded a value of -6...!!! ...Which for me, is nominal...??? Then i saw that the Calculator was in Radians Mode, which it should not have been, because i don't think in Radians, i think in Degrees...!!! But i do have a program that i downloaded the other day, that draws Spirographical Designs ( Sort of ) and it Changes the Angular Mode to Radians... So that seems to explain that...!!!
   Case Solved.
   
6. i Sewed up some loose spots on my backpack...
   The left shoulder strap was coming loose, so i sewed and over sewed that down with orange and green thread... i like to use contrasting thread ( over black ) so i'll have a better idea of what i tried 'before'... so when that fails, i'll try sewing someplace different...
   This approach worked with the bad zipper, that i tried fixing twice before i finally took a moment to carefully examine my old sewing patterns that were next to the original sewing patterns, and i discovered that the original sewing was way off....!!! So i pulled the zipper back into it's more or less correct alignment, and sewed that down, and it's been working for 5 months...!!!
   Then i was going to sew some 'Patches' over two holes in the bottom, but i decided that that would be too difficult, considering that they were right next to the waist band, and i would have to sew through that, and it was designed so that it could conceivably come apart, which it would no longer do, if i sewed it all shut...!!! Plus; it would be a real cow to try to sew through that...!!! i already broke one needle sewing the shoulder strap down...!!!
   So instead, i just pulled the edges over one another, pushing the holes into dimples, then sewed the far rims together...
   We'll see how that holds up.
   
7. i've been looking for several months now for a novelty pencil that is like "an ordinary pencil with a lead in it..." ( NOT a Mechanical Pencil...!!! ) ...Except that this Pencil has 4 or 6! different coloured leads combined in the slot normally reserved for just one...!!!
   i've seen these in a couple of different forms... But i've never bought them for myself...!!!
   i think someone sent me some, then i found one, then found another...!!!
   And Now-- i've lost all the ones that i used to have, so i've been trying to find someplace to buy another...
   And i Can Not...!!!
   Actually: i did find a place on the Internet that sells 'Chartpak Magic Fx - Crazy Chromatic Coloring Pencil' But all the recommended stores Do Not Carry them...!!! So i may have to order ONE Pencil from this place...!!!
   If you know where to find them, Buy me one or two and send them to me:
   My { Mailing }Address is Now in my Resumé...!!!
   
8. i found a new pacifer the other day, but it doesn't have the perfered handling ring that i would like...???
   Why are the gawds providing me with new pacifers, but not the kind i like...???
   
9. i was over at Foodland the other day, and i bought a can of Beefaroni Spaghetti, a pastry and a can of soda... And they charged me $3.59 for JUST THE SODA...!!!
   So i says to the checkout girl... "Is that right...?"
   ...and she gets this really scary zombie look on her face, and then stares of into space for the longest time, and finally regains conscousness, to say; "Yes."
   So then i went over to the soda counter area, but it is such a harum-scarum mass of clutter that i quickly give up and walk over to The Service Counter, where the manager just Completely Ignores me for like 2 hours...!!! But finally i get his attention and he carefully explains to me that what happened was that this particular brand of soda is not sold individually, only by the 6 pack, which is $3.59...!!!
   ( i found it by itself, so i speculated that 'someone else' broke up a 6 pack...!!! )
   But all during this time, he doesn't seem even remotely interested in 'Straightening It Out...!!!'
   So i just left. Highly Disgruntled.
   And Then...???...!!!...he runs out of the store and calls after me, and suggests that i come back and Straighten it out...??? But i was so frazzled already that i just left.
   And i fully intended to NEVER GO THERE AGAIN...!!!
   But the very next day, i went there again.
   The thing is-- They OFTEN UNDERCHARGE me for pastries...
   and sometimes i don't notice it until i've left the store,
   and sometimes i kind of notice it right away...
   But they Do It ALOT...!!!
   So i don't know what to make of that...!!!
   [ This is the same store that once Short Changed me $8...!!! ]
   { i thought that i'd documented that story on my blog, but i can't find it now...??? }
   
10. Note from my cousin Michelle...
    Date: Thu, 2 Mar 2006
    20:06:04 -0800
    From: "Michelle Guthrie"
    Subject: re: showing in Portland
    
    Hi Chrs,
    Mom and Dad, via Aunt Bev, told me about your showing in Portland.
    Unfortunately, they told me that is was today, March 2nd.
    I went down and met the gallery owner, (who is a great guy), and he told me that it was last month.
    He said that is was very successful, and that everyone really liked your work.
    I was able to get a few of the booklets that were there.
    Let me know when you show again in Portland.
    Best Wishes,
    Your cousin, Michelle
    
    Commentary:
    Did anyone else in the family buy any of the books...???
    NO!
    And why would Auntie Barebelly wait until after the show was over, before telling anyone about it...???
    Is it any wonder why i'm so disfunctional...???
    NO! It is Not...!!!
    

Things i don't like about...

Things i don't like about:
The Franklin SCD-1870
Dictionary & Thesaurus

1. Although it has all Seven of George Carlin's Forbidden words:
   It doesn't have 'Golden Ratio' or 'Comeuppance'...
   And many other commonly used words...!!!
2. Although it actually pronounces some words, it doesn't pronounce all of them,
   And the ones most frequently excluded are the foreign ones that i really need help with...!!!
3. It has a special section, that it way too small, for Symbols, but there are not only too few of them listed, the graphical representation of them is too small...
   Absurdly so.
4. Although i have a Duacell Ultra Battery in it,
   and it's apparently a long way from actually being dead,
   The Dictionary keeps 'Resetting' itself...
5. And when it does reset;
   The Font is reduced to Its smallest size,
   And The Word of The Day is turned off...!!!
6. And When The Word of The Day is Reset--
   It starts over again with a Prearranged List...!!!
7. The Scoring Method for Letris & Letter Poker is really Stupid...!!!
   All words are assigned points on how long they are;
   So that a one letter word gives each of it's one letters One Point,
   While a five letter word is allowed Five Points per Letter ( 25_pts. )
8. Hangman often uses Obscure &/or Foreign Words...!!!
9. Athough you can Highlight -most- Words and then look up their definitions...
   This doesn't work with all the words,
   Nor does it even work with the Abbreviations that it uses,
   And it doesn't list those Abbreviations anywhere...!!!
10. The Thesaurus is really lame.
    It does have 'Class' words occasionally, but not as a general rule.
11. Given the amount of memory that mp4 players, and other 'modern' devices have now,
    This Dictionary should have all the words from The Complete Encyclopedic Set of The Oxford English Dictionary... ( Plus Illustrations; In Colour...!!! )
    But it squeezes by on the nearly same set as they were using 20 years ago, with their first Electronic Dictionaries...!!!
12. The Protecting Cover is really lame.
13. [ add more here ]

Other than that though...
It's ok.

Normalacy & Deviant Sexuality...

If you've ever fished through a Strangers Garbage Can,
Or gone 'Dumpster Diving'...
Or perhaps you've heard First Hand Accounts of people that have...
{ No Second Hand accounts are acceptable...
You just can't sustain the same level of 'Believing' with a Magazine Article
or a Careless Anecdote thrown around at work...! }
Then you'll no doubt have some appreciation for all the weird, wonderful and amazing things that people will throw away.
---
Everything happens in threes.
Have you heard that expression...???
i think that there may be some truth to it...!!!
Weird things DO seem to happen in sets...???
---
So the other day, i happened to find BOTH a Dildo and a Penis Pump...!!!
In Different Locations...!!!
How often have i EVER found a Dildo or a Penis Pump...???
NEVER...!!!
Then One Day after that, i found four Porno DVD's
Along with an envelope with Pictures, Apparently from these DVD's,
Printed on extremely expensive Photographic Paper,
and carefully inserted into Clear Plastic Display Pages for a 3 Ring Binder...
The most curious thing about that was that although every effort was made to make their presentation professional looking, The images themselves were of the crassest, unimaginative, unartistic poses imaginable... Plus; The simple quality of the images made them appear as if their were photographed off an old 12_inch Television set with a cheap Polaroid camera...???
The other very curious thing about those DVD's
Is that this is the SECOND Time i've found Porno DVD's in that particular garbage can,
which in located on the top parking lot level of The Ala Moana Shopping Center...???
---
That's very mysterious.