In The Absence of a Z-Mass Card...

...i would like to present all my Z-Mass Ideas that have been accumulating...
If i wasn't so depressed;
Principally because everyone hated my Hallow's Eve Zyne...!!!
...Something from this Compilation would have been condensed into a Zyne or Series of Staplebooks.


Chrstmsa & Zmas Ideas

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Alternative Chrstmsa / Z-mass Celebrations
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Bodhi Day / Buddhists
The Day of The Return of The Wandering Goddess / Kemetic Orthodoxy
Hanukkah / Chanukah / Festival of Lights / Festival of Rededication / Jews
Id al-Adha / The Feast of Sacrifice / Day of Sacrifice / Muslims
Winter Solstice / Native Americans / Gaiaeans /
Saturnalia / Nova Romans
The Saturnalia, a week-long festival celebrating the Romans' favorite agricultural god, Saturn. From December 17 until December 23
Yule / Wiccans
Kwanzaa / African Americans
Festivus / The Festival for The Rest of Us /
Omisoka / Japanese
Shabe-Yalda / Iranian Interfaith Celebration
Natalis Solis Invincti = "Birthday of the Invincible Sun God"
Sol Invictus / Winter Solstice
Quaid-e-Azam's Day ( Pakistani Holiday )
The Feast Day of Anastasia of Simium
World Due to End December 21st 2012 / Mayan & Aztec Calendars

Birthdays
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/ Name / Occupation / Birth / Death / Known for
/ Rod Serling / Author / 25-Dec-1924 / 28-Jun-1975 / Creator of The Twilight Zone
/ Humphrey Bogart / Actor / 25-Dec-1899 / 14-Jan-1957 / Casablanca
/ Sir Isaac Newton / Physicist / 25 Dec 1642 / 1743 / Gravity / Calculus
/ Cab Calloway / Jazz Musician / 25-Dec-1907 / 18-Nov-1994 / King of Hi-De-Ho
/ Annie Lennox / Singer/Songwriter / 25-Dec-1954 / / Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of These)
/ Clara Barton / Activist / 25-Dec-1821 / 12-Apr-1912 / Co-Founder of the American Red Cross
/ Sissy Spacek / Actor / 25-Dec-1949 / / Coal Miner's Daughter
/ Carlos Castaneda / Author / 25-Dec-1925 / 27-Apr-1998 / The Teachings of Don Juan
/ Princess Alice / Royalty / 25-Dec-1901 / 29-Oct-2004 / Late Duchess of Gloucester
/ John Ashley / Actor / 25-Dec-1934 / 3-Oct-1997 / Beach Blanket Bingo
/ Ahmed Ben Bella / Head of State / 25-Dec-1918 / / President of Algeria, 1963-65
/ Helena Rubinstein / Cosmetics Mogul / 25 Dec 1870 / 1965 / Cosmetics Industrial Magnate
/ Jimmy Buffett / Singer/Songwriter / 25-Dec-1946 / / Margaritaville
/ Dean Cameron / Actor / 25-Dec-1962 / / Spicoli on Fast Times TV
/ Quentin Crisp / Actor / 25-Dec-1908 / 21-Nov-1999 / The Naked Civil Servant
/ Patrick Gilmore / Composer / 25-Dec-1829 / 24-Sep-1892 / The Father of The American Band
/ Conrad Hilton / Business / 25-Dec-1887 / 3-Jan-1979 / Founder, Hilton Hotels
/ Mohammad Ali Jinnah / Head of State / 25-Dec-1876 / 11-Sep-1948 / Founder of Pakistan
/ Oscar Lewis / Anthropologist / 25-Dec-1914 / 16-Dec-1970 / Culture of Poverty
/ Barbara Mandrell / Country Musician / 25-Dec-1948 / / Midnight Oil
/ Robert L. Ripley / Curator / 25-Dec-1890 / 27-May-1949 / Believe It or Not!
/ Ernst Ruska / Physicist / 25-Dec-1906 / 27-May-1988 / Inventor of the electron microscope
/ Anwar Sadat / Head of State / 25-Dec-1918 / 6-Oct-1981 / President of Egypt
/ Gary Sandy / Actor / 25-Dec-1945 / / Andy Travis on WKRP
/ Hal Scardino / Actor / 25-Dec-1984 / / The Indian in the Cupboard
/ Aleksandr Scriabin / Composer / 25-Dec-1871 / 14-Apr-1915 / Prometheus: The Poem of Fire
/ Lila Wallace / Business / 25-Dec-1889 / 8-May-1984 / Readers Digest co-founder
/ Karl Rove / Government / 25-Dec-1950 / / Political Strategist to George W. Bush

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December 25th Deaths!
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December 25, 1996 Jon Benet Ramsey, Colorado child beauty queen, murdered at 6
December 25, 1995 Dean Martin, singer and actor (Return to Me), dies at 78
December 25, 1989 Billy Martin, New York Yankee manager, killed in a car accident at 61
December 25, 1989 Elena Ceausescu, wife of Romania's dictator Nicolea, executed
December 25, 1989 Nicolea Ceausescu, dictator of Romania, executed
December 25, 1983 Joan Miro, Spanish surrealist, dies at his home in Majorca at 90
December 25, 1977 Charlie Chaplin, actor (Modern Times), dies in Switzerland at 88
December 25, 1963 Tristan Tzara, writer, dies at 67
December 25, 1961 Rheinhold Rudenberg, inventor of electron microscope, dies
December 25, 1946 W. C. Fields, American Comedian dies at 67
December 25, 1938 Karel Capek, Czech author/antifascist (Bila Nemoc), dies at 48
December 25, 1921 Hans Huber, composer, dies at 69
December 25, 795 Adrian I, Italian Pope (772-95), dies

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Theme for Presents:
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Children’s Books
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The Arrival by Shaun Tan
A Wrinkle in Time
Little Book Wrapped in a Bandana, Tied with Brown Twine,
With a Kitchen Gizmo Attached & A Handmade Label· Card or Staplebook

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Theme for Zyne
Evidence for SantaClaus

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Chrstmsa in Hell

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Superman Boxes
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This was based on a collection of Superman Comix 'Boxes' that i cut out,
And am still planning to rearrange into New Comix,
With New Speech Bubble Contents...???

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The Twelve Myths of Chrstmsa
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/ 1. / Santa Claus Lives at The North Pole
/ 2. / All The Children of The World Get Presents
/ 3. / All The Good Children of The World Get Presents
/ 4. / The Presents Given are Toys
/ 5. / The Presents are Distributed on Chrstmsa Eve
/ 6. / The Presents are Distributed on a Sleigh Pulled by Flying Reindeer
/ 7. / Rudolph’s Nose is Self Illuminating
/ 8. / The Toys Given are Made by Elves
/ 9. / Santa Claus is Fat & Jolly
/ 10. /

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The New & Improved Guidelines for Chrstmsa Present Giving

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Christmas Trees are Bad

Jeremiah 10

The False Gods and the True God
Speaking of Christmas trees, it seems to me that this should be one of the most curiously repeated Bible passages every Christmas, and yet, i think that i'm the only one that knows about it...???

10
1 Hear ye the word which the Lord speaketh unto you, O house of Israel:
2 Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.
3 For the customs [1] of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.
4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.
5 They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good.
6 Forasmuch as there is none like unto thee, O Lord; thou art great, and thy name is great in might.
7 Who would not fear thee, O King of nations? for to thee doth it appertain: forasmuch as among all the wise men of the nations, and in all their kingdoms, there is none like unto thee.
8 But they are altogether [2] brutish and foolish: the stock is a doctrine of vanities.
9 Silver spread into plates is brought from Tarshish, and gold from Uphaz, the work of the workman, and of the hands of the founder: blue and purple is their clothing: they are all the work of cunning men.
10 But the Lord is the true [3] God, he is the living God, and an everlasting king: at his wrath the earth shall tremble, and the nations shall not be able to abide his indignation.
11 Thus shall ye say unto them, The gods that have not made the heavens and the earth, even they shall perish from the earth, and from under these heavens.
12 He hath made the earth by his power, he hath established the world by his wisdom, and hath stretched out the heavens by his discretion.
13 When he uttereth his voice, there is a multitude [4] of waters in the heavens, and he causeth the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth; he maketh lightnings with rain, and bringeth forth the wind out of his treasures.
14 Every man is brutish in his knowledge: every founder is confounded by the graven image: for his molten image is falsehood, and there is no breath in them.
15 They are vanity, and the work of errors: in the time of their visitation they shall perish.
16 The portion of Jacob is not like them: for he is the former of all things; and Israel is the rod of his inheritance: The Lord of hosts is his name.

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Santa Claus Like Figures from Around The Ancient World.
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Laq Patachi : That serves The Joeanti of The Far North. Laq Patachi is mostly concerned with tearing the throats out of bad children, then taking them to live in deep caves where their lifeless shells are forced to make clay vessels to hold Laq Patachi's tears when it weeps for good children that are neglected by their parents. Every few years, the pots are emptied on the Joeanti's, causing either devestating floods or blizzards.

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Z-Mass Santa Claus Replacement
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One Eye that Either Sees The Good Child or Not. It does not see any ambiguity or two sides of any argument. It sees only truth or Nothing.
Is an Ancient from Way Back, but looks very young, as if he were a preteenager, And Has a tail that grows a joint every year, but having such a long tail is quite a nuisance, so he clips off the end from time to time. Currently; It's about 2 feet long with a brass ornament on the end.
Is completely naked, and heavily tatooed.
A transexual child of Pan & An Unidentified Sea Monster.

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Z-Mass Santa is carried by a flying turtle, that when on the ground, transforms into a beautiful androgynous caterpillar like creature...???

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Five Staple Books
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Evidence for Santa
Forgotten Traditions
Z-Mass Traditions
New Songs / Haiku

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The number of days in a year used to be 216.
In Ancient times, it was given various amounts, such as 100, 360 & 32,877,652 days per year.
In the 12th Century, A Philosophical School that had clung to life from Ancient Grecian Days; Called The Coffee Club, which later became The Catholic Church, decided that the number of days should be 300. It remained 300 for about 400 years, and then when The Catholic Church began to take form, it required the consolidation of many, many different pantheistic, pagan & solipsistic cults, each of which had to be placated with all sorts of completely ridiculous concessions, which required that the year be rounded up and down, up and down to eventually settle at 365.25 days per year, and even so, it still has to be fudged every few years to keep the druids from soiling their pants.

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Mammoths are still quite common in Eastern Russia, but are kept a secret because many of the ancient traditions required feasting on them, and grinding their bones into dust for decorations.
There were approximate 17 distinct immortal figures that were consolidated into what we consider the modern Santa Claus.
Z-Mass remixes the original forms to make a New Amalgam; Henry Claws, which is still, admittedly— A symbolic form of the true immortal whose name is not known, and a consistent description provided by it's numerous eye witnesses is illusive.
The Catholic Church was originally created by a much older society that has variously been called The Illuminatii or The Bee Keepers, to organize & supervise the new holidays when the year was given 300 days. When it was later supplemented with an additional 65.25 days, New Holidays had to be created to fill in these new months.

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All The Older Holidays that have been combined to make the early forms of Christmas,
And which in modern times, became X-Mas.

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Various Loose & Raw Ideas...
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Fools
Phallus based Party Games
Faery Circles
Animals / Cave Bears / Elk / Goats / Sheep / Wolves / Reindeer /
Reindeer based Religions
Solstice / Why is Winter S- so much more important than The Summer S-?
Or The Spring & Autumnal Equinoxes
Moon Festivals
Foot Fetishes
Mysterious Wars that have been historically suppressed
Monsters that few have ever heard of
Ancient Sciences
The Secrets of Water, Air & Fire
Family Curses / Family Lines / Ancestral paths from The Mighty Men
Beings from Other Worlds; Near by and Far Away
Tricks & Jokes that were once thought to be great fun
Puzzles that have yet to be solved
Machines buried under the vatican / Flying Disks hidden in Your Neighborhood
The Origins of The Grand Canyon, The Moon & Western Toilets
Why Mars is Red & Waterless— & Venus is a Fertility Gawd
Why Aliens are Abducting Us & What is the deal with Cattle Mutilations
Why are Cats being cut in half?
Star Patterns, and their Names
How does the Southern Hemisphere deal with Winter?
Gingerbread
Ancient Histories that have just recently been written
The Real Meaning of Stonehenge
Knights of The Round Table. Wouldn't the theory of evolution require earlier experiments with Septagonal or Dough Nought Shaped Tables?
Elves = Greys
Yule Log / Slaves / Indentured Servants
In Olden times, People didn't get married and have children. That tradition started in the 1930's. Before that; Men would find children roaming the streets and take them in as Indentured Servants. Where the children came from was never thoroughly understood, and many theories attempted to explain this.
Cave Bear Teeth / Claws / Corn / Chocolate
Crows & Ravens
Swans & Snow Geese
Black Peter & The many other AntiClaus'
Profane Celebrations
Why do we eat some animals and not others.
Why is Cannibalism an integral part of nearly every modern religion and the ancient cults, and yet; Not allowed as a Secular Dietary Habit.
Why did the One True Church ( Which has no Name ? ) invent Darwinism and the Heresy of Evolution?
The Ancient & Suppressed Miracles which were later watered down and forced to fit into the modern religions.
Why have the ancient traditions & cultures created an endless repository of creation myths to explain nearly every aspect & element of our lives & technology... Except for:
Menstruation / Ball Point Pens / Electrical Outlets / The Regional Preferences for 3 or 4 Pronged Forks / Fingernail Clippers / Dribble Glasses / Binary Computers /
Why are some extremely common things kept ( nearly so ) a secret...?
Like Squirrel Nests / How Gravity Really Works / Keyboard Designs / The Myth of Simple Machines, Vowels, & What Caramel is?
Druids / Mistletoe / Stubbed Toes / Holly / The Green Man / The Yellow Dog / The Orange Sidewalk Hobo
Why were horses bred in the 14th Century to have only 4 legs?
Most Turkeys are actually stray dogs or the babies of illegal immigrants
Role Reversals
Wrapping Paper Decorations
Ribbons & Bows
Tinsel, Angel Hair from Flying Saucers / Chaff
Stockings
The Twelve Days of Xmass
The Familiars of St. Nicholas & The AntiCrimmy
Pumpkins & Squash
Foxes, Weasels, Stoats, Badgers, Hares, Long Tailed Shrews,

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Black Friday / Black Peter
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Social Conventions are created to allow people to do things which may otherwise be extremely objectionable. Such as exercising infanticide, especially when disposing of dull witted or unusually unruly children. So that various holidays allow for this sort of thing. In particular many 11th Century communities throughout Europe allowed for Christmas Traditions that included the pretext that Saint Nicholas would take bad children with him to the north pole, to use them as indentured servants to make toys and care for the reindeer. The net effect would be that if children disappeared on Christmas Eve, they would simply assumed to have been taken by Saint Nick and that would be that.

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Axiomatic Archetype of The Bastardization of Chrstmsa
Saint Nikolas / Turkish Bishop
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Dutch Sinterklaas / / Second Generation Bastardization Figure
Sans Kristmouss
Soot Chonus
Chilt Slawmoore
Hüon Faunamia
Fadder Whoskow
The Jolly Øifchumer
The Spirit Prince
The Ghost of Dust
The Solstice Smith
The Child Kismi
Mitch Kronigle
King Guiser
Doctor Kruskling
The Old Shaman
The White Witch
Ol' Peg Leg Mike
The Sheepheaded Knight
The Squire of The Red Bag
Sintaklass
Odin
Nicholas
Ol' Sir Christmas
Various forms of Ghost like, Lantern Bearing Figures with Reindeer Antlers
Santa Claus as Animals / Gorilla / FishGawd / Femanimal /
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Good Santa that does Bad Things or Incompetent Things
Bad Santa that does seemingly bad things that turn out for the best
The Benign Santa that never seems to do anything, but that afterwards, things seem to turn out alright.
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The Kristkindl
Martin Luther invented his own Christmas symbol, Kristkindl, as part of his rejection of all things Catholic. What he came up with is by far the gayest of all Christmas symbols, as Kristkindl is portrayed as a "blond, radiant veiled child figure with golden wings, wearing a flowing white robe and a sparkling jeweled crown, and carrying a small Christmas tree or wand."
Source of Kris Kringle !!!

- The American version of St. Nicholas, or Santa Claus originally came from the Dutch version called Sint Klaas. The Dutch settlers in New Amsterdam (New York) brought this fun and lively tradition (some even say cult) to America.

- In China , he is called Shengdan Laoren /

- In Greek, St. Nicholas is known as Hagios Nikolaos, Bishop of Myra (in the present day Turkey )

- In China , he is called Shengdan Laoren.

- In England , his name is Father Christmas , where he has a longer coat and a longer beard.

- In France , he's known as Pere Noel.

- In Germany , children get presents from Christindl, the Christ Child.

- Nowadays the Joulupukki of Finland resembles the American Santa Claus.

- In Brazil and Peru , Santa Claus is called Papa Noel.

- In Italy Babbo Natale, which means Father Christmas, is Santa.

- In Morocco he is known as Black Peter

- In Japan , Santa Clause is called Santa Clause or just "Santa". Children often call him "Santa no ojisan," which means "Uncle Santa."

- In Sweden Jultomten visits the evening before Christmas day, pulling a big bag of julklappar (Christmas presents) in the deep snow.

- In the Netherlands , he is called Kerstman.

- In Russia , he is called Grandfather Frost that is "ded moroz" (the second "o" has its accent and the last "z" is pronouned as "s".)

- He is also called Kris Kringle - which comes from the German term "the Christ Child"
(Christ Kind).

Source: lone-star.net

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Barbie Q'ed Pine Cone Scales
Seasoned Walrus Blubber
Festive Balls of Toe Jam with Sprinkles
The Dance of Licking Stains from The Master’s Undergarments
Woven Cat Fur dipped in Fermented Molasses
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Burning off Warts
Trimming The Old Peoples Toenails
The Midnight Earwax Hunt
Filling The Washer Basins with Ticks, Bedbugs & Mites,
Chasing Witches, Hags or Annoying Neighbors with White Hot Pokers
Milking The Widows Pigs
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The Miracle of The Wood Chips.
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This tradition consists of The Holy Saint throwing wood chips while riding his giant tusked pig through the township at midnight. The wood chips would turn to delicious, nutritious candy for the good children, and a horrifyingly painful poison for the bad children.
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The Miracle of The Best & Worst Children.
All the communities children would be blindfolded and made to run through a obstacle course. The Best children would find themselves falling into a pit of fermented plum, cherry or rhubarb pudding, While the bad children would find themselves running barefoot over red hot coals.
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The Chasing of The Gnome.
At the Evening Festival, all the children would be wildly encouraged to prodigiously drink their fill of Grog, Wassail, Fermented Bear Urine, Soapy Wine or The Blood of Their alcoholic Relatives. Then— A Gnome would be released and whoever caught it, would be allowed to make a wish which is certain to be Granted. If the Child that caught the Gnome was a good child, then the wish would be granted in such a way that it would benefit the child. But if the child were a naughty child, then the wish would be granted as it was stated, but would result in great misfortunes.
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The Stampede of Fate
All the children would have their feet bound together so that they could only hop, and then a Blinded Elk, Moose, Bull or Wildebeest with a sack of hot coals tied to it's genitals, would be released in their midst. The tradition states that those trampled would invariably be the naughty children, while those that survived would be the good children, that would then be given special favors by everyone.
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The Choosing of The Cookies
An Old Hag, Witch or School Marm would bake horrible tasting cookies which would be offered to all the children. Those that politely ate the cookies, and lived would be given great favor by the community. Those that spit out the cookies and cursed the woman, would be severely beaten or sold to gypsies.
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Why Ordinary People Believe Crazy Things
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And Why this apparently Blind Faith is superior to The Scientific Method.
When The Laity choose to believe something crazy, It is often sited, even by those that hold such beliefs, that they do so because of irrational, foundationless faith— But a more careful analysis of these beliefs is actually the result of time proven observations of reoccurring phenomena that are compiled into a self consistent hierarchy of knowledge that has the benefit of pragmatic functionality & practical day to day operational value.
In the case of Angels & Beatified Destinies; It is quite common for parents to express a favoritism to their brighter, attentive, well behaved children, while sending their dull witted, ugly children out in the middle of a freezing night to gather fire wood. But, Yet, the ugly children invariably return, none the worst for their mistreatment, and the parents usually, soon thereafter, befall some misfortune. The consistency of this effect is translated into a systematic guardianship that is provided for such children, by unseen agents.
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The Scientific Approach to The World is instead usually focused on taking some benign & overlooked phenomena, then creating some ridiculous explanation for it. This explanation is often accompanied by an experimental demonstration that has nothing to do with the original, source material phenomena, but is proffered as proof that the explanation must be the correct interpretation, as that the original phenomena is obviously apparent. These demonstrations are never functional in any day to day circumstances, and are usually, in fact, shown to be somehow injurious to anyone that embraces the philosophical implications of that lesson.

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Jump Rope Rhymes with words or phrases that mean something very different from what the unexamined prose may suggest.

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Saint Lucia
Saint Stephan
Saint Thomas
Yew : Wood with Magickal Properties /
EggNog

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The PreTwentyFour Days of Christmas
Advent Calendar
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Today, most advent calendars are made for children. Many take the form of a large rectangular card with many "windows", one of which is opened every day during Advent. In less elaborate calendars, each window opens to reveal an image, a poem, or part of a story such as the Nativity story itself. More elaborate Advent calendars have a small gift concealed in each window, such as a toy or a chocolate item.
The constraints upon which The Advent Device must adhere to are virtually nill.
It may take the form of candles on a wreath, chalk marks on a wall, boxes to be opened, a miniature house with doors &/or windows to open, as well as extending the number of units to suit special occasions.
- 24
Commentary
- 23
Commentary
- 22
Commentary
- 21
Commentary
- 20
Commentary
- 19
Commentary
- 18
Commentary
- 17
Commentary
- 16
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- 15
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- 4
Commentary
- 3
Commentary
- 2 The Last Shopping Day
Commentary
- 1 Christmas Eve / The Real Holiday
The Source of All Anticipation & Glee, Before all ones hopes are crushed on Christmas morning.

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The Twelve Days of Christmas
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0 Christmas Day / The Sacred Day of Family Feuding
Not Counted.

1 Saint Stephan’s Day / Boxing Day / Day of The Wren
Take the Servants out into the yard and beat them within an inch of their lives.
The Wren is supposed to have betrayed Saint Stephan, The most holy bureaucratic accountant in biblical times. The Wren went to King Herod and told him that Saint Stephan was embezzling money for The Western Palestinian Independance Front, and was consequently beaten within an inch of his life. Then beheaded. The detached head then sang bawdy sailing tunes until sunset.

2 Mother’s Night / Saint John’s Day
The Faery Host; Frau Gode, would go throughout the village, bidding her ghost dogs to leap through windows and take babies from their cribs. If the residents attempted to interfere, they would be saddled with misfortune for the coming year. If they minded their own business, then sometime thereafter, a better, smarter, more attractive baby would be returned to the crib.
The Modern Version of this is to take babies from Shopping Centers & sell them to South American Adoption Agencies.

3 Holy Innocent’s Day / Childremass
This day is a wild reinterpretation of the slanderous myth that King Herod had all the first born ( in some traditions; The most attractive, tallest or any wearing striped diapers ) babies taken from their cribs and sold to Egyptian Adoption Agencies; when he heard that A New Bureaucratic Administrator was born in his provincial region.
How this is celebrated locally, in modern times, varies wildly; The most popular in North America is to take ones children out and beating them within an inch of their lives.

4 The Feast of Fools
At Midnight leading into the Fourth Day of Christmas, All Roles are Reversed, The Young Take on The Roles of Their Elders, Men wear The Dresses of Women, The Smart become Imbeciles, The Dull Witted are Treated with Reverence, And there is every kind of Sexual Perversity. At The Striking of The Hour of 12 Midnight, All Roles are returned to Normal, But Financial Transactions, Persons sold into Slavery, Children Conceived & The Consequences of Crimes are Held as they have been Altered by this Day’s Activities. Persons that have committed crimes, and not yet held responsible however, are pardoned & forgotten.

5 Bringing in The Boar
Ideally; A Very Large Wild Boar ( Tusked Pig ) is hunted down and slaughtered for a Great Feast.
When no such animal is available; Considerable Divergence is allowed, So as to allow for an Unwanted Horse, Dog or Unpopular Bureaucrat to be used as The Festival Beast. The Criminality of Cannibalism or Livestock Rustling ( Where Applicable ) for this day is set aside.

6 The Druid’s New Year’s Eve / Hogmanay
In some places; New Year’s Eve is celebrated with more vigor & enthusiasm than New Year’s Day Proper, Christmas Eve or Christmas Day or The Epiphany. Which basically means that more unrestrained violence is perpetrated & such crimes, murders & sexual deviancies are severely overlooked or moderated into venial indiscretions.

7 New Year’s Day / Kalends of January
The Kalends are The Seven, Twelve or Fourteen Days leading up to the Ides. These Kalends would be counted backwards, and for the duration of this Day, As a Singular Holiday Gratuity, All things would be done Backwards. Including all the things that most reasonable people would consider impossible to do backwards. Consequently; Adherents to this Feast Day would either be Intellectually & Physically Challenged by The Kalends, or Surrender to The Irrationality of The Day, and Sleep Through it.

8 Snow Day
Anything & Everything having to do with Snow. If no Snow is Available;
Then Cornstarch is used in it's place.

9 Evergreen Day
Is more accurately Held to as Sacred Tree Day. There were many Sacred & Magick Trees in Olden Times, Such as; The Oak, Yew, Maple, Cedar, Spruce, Fir, Holly, Laurel & The Many Variations on Evergreen & Pine. These Trees would very often delineate the home of Faeries, Ancient Ancestors, Buried Treasure or Alien Technologies.
Adherence to The Feast Day is to Burn only NonSacred Woody or Alternative ByProducts, Such as Chattel Dung or Clipped Hair During the Daylight Hours.

10 Saint Distaff’s Day / Rock Day
The Distaff is The Spindle used by Weavers to hold their Threads for Spinning.
Saint Distaff was not a proper historical figure as such; But rather a facsimile or histrionic caricature of The Mill Master or Administrative Bureaucrat that went throughout the village, gathering all the unwed girls, and unrestrainingly whipping them through the streets, on their way back to the mills, after the various days of Christmas Festivities & New Year’s Celebrations.

11 Eve of Epiphany / Festival of The Three Kings
Technically of course, we all know that there were no “Three Kings”; But rather, An unspecified number of low level administrative bureaucrats that sought out The Chosen One, from which, they hoped to consolidate their constitutional & regulatory authority in what they believed would be The New World Order.
Nevertheless; This day is meant to symbolically reinstitutionalize the manifestation of a greater sovereignty by supernatural forces; vis-à-vis; The Appearance of Deified GawdKings from Far Away. These GawdKings are arguably The Ego, SuperEgo & Id of our Singularized Modern Santa Claus.

12 Epiphany / Twelfth Night
The Apex, Accumulation & Pinnacle of The Winter Solstice Festivities, and also it's Terminal Conclusion, when all the decorations are taken down & either burned or put back in their damp boxes.
All Christmas Toys should have been broken by now, Relatives should have returned home, Children return to School & The Dreariness of One’s Mundane & Tedious Existence is ReAcknowledged.

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The Trans or Meta Days of Christmas
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Christmas Day
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Mithras
Attis
Aion
Horus
Dionysus
The Unconquered Sun
Humprey Bogart
Cab Calloway

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The steps of the investigation
towards giving credence & authority to
A Visitation from Santa Claus
are mandated as follows:
An initial evaluation of the facts of the alleged event,
based on both positive and negative criteria:

Positive Criteria

1. moral certainty (the certainty required to act morally in a situation of doubt) or at least great probability as to the existence of a private revelation at the end of a serious investigation into the case
2. evaluation of the personal qualities of the person in question (mental balance, honesty, moral life, sincerity, obedience to Church authority, willingness to practice faith in the normal way, etc.)
3. evaluation of the content of the revelations themselves (that they do not disagree with faith and morals of the Church, freedom from theological errors)
4. the revelation results in healthy devotion and spiritual fruits in people's lives (greater prayer, greater conversion of heart, works of charity that result, etc.)

Negative Criteria

1. glaring errors in regard to the facts
2. doctrinal errors attributed to God, the Blessed Virgin Mary, or to the Holy Spirit in how they appear
3. any pursuit of financial gain in relation to the alleged event
4. gravely immoral acts committed by the person or those associated with the person at the time of the event
5. psychological disorders or tendencies on the part of the person or persons associated

After this initial investigation, if the occurrence meets the criteria, positive and negative, an initial cautionary permission can be granted that basically states: "for the moment, there is nothing opposed to it." This permits public participation in the devotion in regard to the alleged apparition.

Ultimately, a final judgment and determination needs to be given, giving approval or condemnation of the event.

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20 Cases Suggestive of Santa Claus

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2008 Zyne Pages / Content / SubTitle
With 6 Sheets = 24 pages /
1 / Cover
2 / ©
3 / Introduction
4 / Poem / Worms come in, The worms go out... Adapted for Z-mass
5 - 21 / 17 Santas /
Alternate Santas from Around The World
Real Santa's seen
PreSantas
22 / Bonus Material / Bible Passages That Bash Chrstmsa
23 / Conclusion
24 / BackPage

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Z-Mass Ideas & Such...

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Original List of Z-mass ideas:
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ZMass
The next generation of XMass & YMas
Ways that Zmass is Better than either Xmass or Ymas

/ 1. / Xmass is the Celebration of Christ's Birth...
/ 2. / Ymas was the corruption of this holiday by introducing Santa Claus & The Commercialization of the holiday...
/ 3. / Zmass is the complete overhaul of X & Y masses to integrate a new holiday into the fundamental spiritual, social & economic needs of The Damp Masses leading up The Reevaluation of our culture in the year 2012. ( Which curiously; will occur around December 21st. )
/ 4. / faux holiday that is based on an imaginary deity whose teachings more accurately reflect the mores of western civilization.
/ 5. / rules of present giving clearly delineated and enforced by law.
/ 6. / chrstmsa trees that are all electric lights, festooned with tiny bows of evergreen twigs.
/ 7. / new tradition in which standing under mistletoe gets you to second base.
/ 8. / santas at the department stores are nude, which make them especially popular amoung sexually precocious teenagers.
/ 9. / The Entire Point of X-mass, Y-mass & Z-mass is to find & exploit various permanencies of happiness. X-mass, on it's most superficial religious layer is about finding happiness in an eternal boundless nirvana of eternity. Y-mass struggles to find happiness from commercial equity. Z-mass asks; What is Happiness? Can a Cat Enjoy Television? Is it Good to try to Inflict Happiness on People that may not be capable of experiencing happiness?
/ 10. / If Happiness is a Real Artifact that is a consequence of An Evolutionary Strategy to Achieve some Primary Objective— And; It is possible to trick The Evolutionarily Manufactured Happiness Receptors into Activating, without Achieving the Evolutionarily Mandated Primary Objective ( Which may be Socially or Economically Impossible or Fundamentally Suicidal )...
/ 11. / Then what is The Simplest Implementation of This Primary Activation Deceit?
/ 12. / Simply allowing that there is Primary Happiness Objective, and that There Exists a Continuum of Deceptions along a Bell Curve... Such that The Right Most Occurrences most successfully Result in True Happiness, while the Middling Hump Manifestations are More Easily Accomplished, But Yield a Less Satisfactory, Shorter lived Happiness Effect. All the Spatial Instances on The Curve Represent Faux Happiness Evoking Events, and it may even be that the Least Accessible, Most Infrequently Allowable Exemplarations that result in this Happiness Effect are More Effectual Than The Primary Happiness Behaviour that Evolution has constructed as a PreActivation, End Consequence of The Happiness Response. Such that this UnSpecified Activity that The Bell Curve Statistically Implies Must Exist, Will Result in a Greater Response of Happiness than Happiness was Ever Originally Designed For.
/ 13. / What is This Faux Artifact that will result in a Happiness Greater than what The Designers of The Universe Ever Intended? Is it Complicated? Is it Simple? Is it Expensive? Is it one of those Crazy things that is right there is front of you... All you need to do is Twist your head to just the right Angle, and there it is— Or is it far away in another galaxy, and to find it, we need to build giant Star-Ships and leave this world, never to return.
/ 14. / How can we discover what this Utensil of Unimaginable Happiness Is? Perhaps we need to construct this Bell Curve of what makes us Happy in the degrees that we're familiar with... Once we can begin to discern patterns, we'll know where to look harder for the things that will make us more happy. It would seem that this approach has Not been successfully implemented in the great expanse of the last 25,000 years of civilization, as people are still struggling to find happiness in all the wrong places...!
/ 15. / If The Primary Happiness Activity; Devised by Evolution is some unspecified 'x' and there are undoubtedly many activities that result in a finite representation of what seems to be happiness, that in No easily discernible way resemble the Primary Happiness Activity.... Then What is Wrong with this Analysis? Maybe the Primary Happiness Activity that we have always imagined it to be, is Something Else...
/ 16. / We Really Need to Push Aside all Previously Assumed Axioms of Happiness Causality Generators and ReEstablish First Apophthgms.
/ 17. / Is the thing that makes a man happy, the same thing for a woman?
/ 18. / Is the thing that makes a humanimal happy, the same thing for an angel or gawd?
/ 19. / Is the thing that makes a cat happy, the same thing for a daisy or cloud?
/ 20. / Can a shadow be happy? Does the universe want something greater than happiness? Is this greater thing, that does not result in happiness... What does it cause? And should be seek this other thing more directly?
/ 21. / Is Happiness a Scam? i love Contrarianism, and the thought that we have been, since our earliest days as a social animal, been brainwashed into thinking that the most elemental drive, fundamental to sex, hunger, or survival is the quest for happiness... Is just wrong... Fills me with delight. If this is so; Do humanimals really have Any Fundamental Drives...? If we, as robots, lacking autonomy & freewill, can not have any real drives that are essential to the universe, but only those superimposed upon us by social architects or gawd... Then the meaning of life becomes all the more pointless. We can't even take comfort that we are comparatively happy, as this is a commercial slogan that we have been taught to recite, to keep us, once again from going at each other with sharpened forks or the broken pieces of furniture.
/ 22. / Does this thing that is greater than happiness, that does not result in happiness, demonstrate that happiness is an illusion intended to trick us into serving this greater good by some means which is not in our best interests? Are we ( Sentient Beings ) an intermediate tool for that which is satisfied in a way that we can only imagine as happiness, but for which happiness is a shadow of the thing that casts it?
/ 23. / If this thing that is greater than happiness is what actually serves the universe in a way that we sentient beings can not truly imagine, then are we committing a sin of unspeakable horror by seeking happiness in false guises which do not serve the true -Intermediate- cause which gives us happiness as the universe intended?
/ 24. / If it is true that we do not really know what it is that makes us happy, and seeking that which makes us happy in a false manner is a great sin... Is seeking any kind of happiness the very worst kind of sin?
/ 25. / How can you be sure that when you laugh, The Joke was funny?
/ 26. / If The Responsible person wants to serve the universe by avoiding false causality activators of illusionary happiness; Would this make them happy?
/ 27. / Clearly: The universe desires this something which is greater than happiness, and that it has gone to a lot of trouble to see to it that each damp electron will serve it's purpose to this end. If a caterpillar was created to serve the good that is greater than happiness, and is too dumb to be lead astray by the confusion of false happiness— It must be that the functionality of what we must do to serve this greater than happiness end consequent that the universe most cherishes, is something that can not be done by acting to that end.
/ 28. / That is; Whatever The Universe Does; It is acting to this greater end, in which happiness is an inconsequential, illusionary artifact.
/ 29. / Stop trying to be happy.
/ 30. / Stop trying to buy happiness.
/ 31. / The Search for Happiness is getting in the way of That which the Universe Loves more than Happiness, ( Which we will never experience ).
/ 32. / Does the Liver know why it is told to Love Bile?
/ 33. / The Correct Salutation is : Buoyant Zmass— All & Sundry...!!!
/ 34. / The Recognition that in the various previous versions of —mas, The presents; that were given to make the recipients happy, were in fact, nearly always; crap. And consequently; only made people sadder. So that; with Zmass— Only happy invoking presents may be given.
/ 35. / What are “The Happy Invoking Type Presents?”
/ i. / All items must be of the highest imaginable quality.
/ ii. / All items must be from a particular giver to a particular recipient
/ iii. / All items must be life sustaining, rather than life depleting
/ 36. / The principle instigator of Zmas is “Larry Claus”— Santa’s unkept older brother who never quite ‘Got on track.’ ( this idea has been spoiled by the new 2007 Movie: Fred Claus )
/ 37. / The True Story of Yolanda the Two Headed Reindeer with Seventeen Legs that Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer is based on—
/ 38. / Reasons Why There Really is a Santa Claus; And what s/he/it is really like...
/ 39. / Testimonials from children & adults that believe in Santa Claus & Why.
/ 40. / The principle instigator of Zmas is “The Zmas Giant Mechanical Ant”
/ 41. / Before X-Mas there was:
/ i. / P-Mass : Exchange of Damp Rocks Initiated
/ ii. / Q-Maz : Yowling restrained to Special Occasions
/ iii. / R-Masss : Discovery of Snowflakes
/ iv. / S-Maph : Gawd Clothes Distinguished from Work Clothes
/ v. / T-Mezz : Sticks Painted with Stripes are Tied to Trees.
/ vi. / U-Miez : Horrible Gifts are blamed on a Quixotic Archetype
/ vii. / V-Muppies : Everything Wonderful is Attributed to The Quixotic Archetype
/ viii. / W-Noggiluffessicratcklemotten : Self-Loathing Institutionalized as a Commercial Holiday
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Santa’s Pack held Thirty Toys
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Author Unknown / Probably due to carelessness on my part...???

Ole Santa’s pack held 30 Toys
Made by his elfin crew;
And though none made the same amount,
Each elf made more than two.
Th elf named Cher made one more toy
Than the elf who dressed in reds,
But Cher made one less Christmas toy
Than the elf who made the sleds.
Spry Johnny Elf made racing cars;
Five toys were made by Jane.
The elf who dressed in yellow suits
Made each and every train.
The elf who always dressed in green
Made one-third as many as Sue.
Cute Marcia Elf was dressed in orange,
And one elf dressed in blue.
The elf who made the spinning tops
Made the most toys of them all.
Another perky, smiling elf
Made each and every ball..
Ole Santa’s pack held thirty gifts
All tagged for girls & boys.
From the clues that you’ve been given
Now guess who made what toys.

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26 Cases that Strongly Argue towards
The assertion that a Quixotic Entity that closely resembles
The Character Known as Santa Claus Exists in This Reality
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Page Structure
Picture of Child/Adult
Name & Age
Year of Experience
Experience
Drawing of Entity
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Statistically significant correlations that are common to all experience
is being magickal
not an angel, jebus, or dead relatives
witness does not smoke, drink, disease free, never famous, doesn't appear to be unusually good, but friend relate several curious anecdotes that make them seem saintly in a really quirky way , compulsive masturbator, monosexual , uses expressions and idioms that one one else seems to be familiar with
most refuse to reveal what the present or circumstances that lead to gift
some gifts discovered after substantial needling
shoelace
candy common at that time, invariably keeps the wrapper
doll with missing arms
pencil stub on a silver chain
sock with a peculiar odor
radio that doesn't need batteries
stained quilt / stain appears to be something but no one can agree to what it is
- - -
Intro considers arguments that insist there is no Santa Claus
Other common misconceptions &/or myths
Forgotten Traditions that support this argument

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Poem
Subject: Fw: Happy Birthday, Jesus!

It was the night before Christmas
and all through the town
Not a sign of Baby Jesus
was anywhere to be found.

The people were all busy
with Christmas time chores
Like decorating, and baking,
and shopping in stores.

No one sang "Away in a manger,
no crib for a bed".
Instead, they sang of Santa
dressed-up in bright red.

Mama watched Martha Stewart,
Papa drank beer from a tap.
As hour upon hour
the presents they'd wrap

When what from the T.V.
did they suddenly hear?
'Cept an ad.. which told
of a big sale at Sears.

So away to the mall
they all flew like a flash...
Buying things on credit...
and others with cash!

And, as they made their way home
From their trip to the mall,
Did they think about Jesus?
Oh, no... not at all.

Their lives were so busy
with their Christmas time things
No time to remember
Christ Jesus, the King.

There were presents to wrap
and cookies to bake.
How could they stop and remember
who died for their sake?

To pray to the Savior...
they had no time to stop.
Because they needed more time
to "Shop til they dropped!"
On Wal-mart! On K-mart!
On Target! On Penney's!
On Hallmark! On Zales!
A quick lunch at Denny's.

From the big stores downtown
to the stores at the mall
They would dash away, dash away,
and visit them all!

And up on the roof,
there arose such a clatter
As grandpa hung icicle lights
up on his brand new step ladder.

He hung lights that would flash.
He hung lights that would twirl.
Yet, he never once prayed to Jesus..
Light of the World.
Christ's eyes... how they ! twinkle!
Christ's Spirit... how merry!
Christ's love... how enormous!
All our burdens... He'll carry!
So instead of being busy,
overworked, and uptight
Let's put Christ back in Christmas
and enjoy some good nights!


Merry Christmas, my friends!


With God behind us and His arms beneath us, we can face whatever lies
before us.

Live your life as though God is watching, because he is!

Joshua 24:15 "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"

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Names of Elves
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Bughead Bill /
Louis / Saint / Barbers
Luke / Saint / Artists
Crispin / Saint / Cobblers
Dorothea / Saint / Florists
Bosco / Saint / Editors
Claude / Saint / Sculptors
Homobonus / Saint / Tailors
Joseph / Saint / Wine Growers
Sebastian / Saint / Pin Makers
Venerius / Saint / Lighthouse Keepers
Ambrose / Saint / Bee Keepers
Benedict / Saint / Speleologists
Anthony / Saint / Gravediggers
Hororatus / Saint / Bakers
Zita / Saint / Maids
Matthew / Saint / Tax Collectors
Gabriel / Saint / Broadcasters
Giles / Saint / Horses
Brigid / Saint / Dairymaids
Fiacre / Saint / Taxi Drivers
Jerome / Saint / Librarians
Mennas / Saint / Pilgrims
James / Saint / Pilgrims
Cecilia / Saint / Singers
Roche / Saint / Invalids
Stephen / Saint / Bricklayers
Nicholas / Saint / Children
Barbara / Saint / Miners
George / Saint / Syphilitics
Armand / Saint / Hoteliers
Julien / Saint / Hoteliers
Gabriel / Saint / Diplomats
Ohhe-buk / i love you / Arabic
T'estimo / i love you / Catalan
Je t'aime / i love you / French
Se Erotao / i love you / Ancient Greek
Ti Amo / i love you / Italian / Spanish
Keyagorata / i love you / Tswana
Kocham Cie / i love you / Polish
Ndinoluda / i love you / Shona
Te Iubesc / i love you / Romanian
Melchior / King of Arabia / Gold
Caspar / King of Tarsus / Frankincense
Balthazar / King of Ethiopia / Myrrh
Adelsburn / Jester
Cardinal Soglia / Jester
Merry Andrew / Physician & Amateur Fool
Abgely / Fool
Rosen / Fool
Berdic / Joculacator
Colquhoun / Jester
Longely / Jester
Patche / Jester
da’Gonet / Jester
Patison / Jester
Will Somers / Jester
Yorick / Jester
Aksakoff / Fool

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Names of Reindeer
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Rudolph invented by Montgomery Ward in 1939 / by Robert L. May
Dasher / Dancer / Prancer / Vixen / Comet / Cupid / Donner ( Donder ) / Blitzen / Rudolph
Blackie / Chief Sitting Bull's Horse
Magnolia / G.Washington's Horse
Strymon / Xerxes' Horse / Great King of Persia c. 500 b.c.
Rosinante / Don Quixote's Horse
Arion / Hercules' Horse
Marengo / Napoleon's Horse
Hippocampus / Neptune's Horse
Vic / Lt. Col. Custer's Horse
Kantaka / Buddha's Horse
Silver / The Lone Ranger's Horse
Haizum / Archangel Gabriel's Horse
Shadowfax / Gandalf's Horse
Bucephalus / Alexander The Great's Horse
Trigger / Roy Roger's Horse
Phallus / Heraclius' Horse / Byzantine Emp. c. 600 a.d.
Savoy / Charles VIII's Horse
Talc / Mohs Scale 1
Gypsum / MS 2
Calcite / MS 3
Fluorite / MS 4
Apatite / MS 5
Orthoclase / MS 6
Quartz / MS 7
Topaz / MS 8 / November
Corundum / MS 9
Diamond / MS 10 / April
Garnet / January
Amethyst / February
Bloodstone / March
Emerald / May
Pearl / June
Alexandrite / June
Ruby / July
Sardonyx / August
Agate / August
Sapphire / September
Opal / October
Turquoise / December
Frankincense / Gum Resin
Myrrh / Gum Resin
Helium / Noble Gas
Neon / Noble Gas
Argon / Noble Gas
Krypton / Noble Gas
Xenon / Noble Gas
Radon / Noble Gas

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Fallacious Arguments Against Santa Claus
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One of the most common arguments against Santa Claus is that it would be impossible for him deliver all those presents to all the children of the world.
But this is a straw-man argument, based on the common, commercialized representation of Santa Claus.
The Real Santa Claus delivers presents only to the very best or very worst, special case children. Which means that you may be a very good child, or a very bad child and Not Receive a gift from Santa.
You must be both very good or very bad, AND meet Santa's criteria for being a special case.
These criteria are somewhat secretive, and change from year to year in a ficklish manner.
But essentially; The child must have some potential for a bright future.
A very bad child with potential to change the future in a positive way, may be selected by Santa with the hope that s/he will be turned to use their special powers for good.
That's another thing, Any child, either good or bad, that receives a present will undoubtedly have an active or latent special ability or power that may be used for mischievious ends. Whether these mischievious ends serve the world or destroy it, is what Santa is trying to influence.
Also: Santa delivers presents year round.
When awarding a present, Santa may appear in any one of many different forms or personages.
The present itself will be deeply meaningful for the child, but will rarely strike anyone else as being remotely valuable or special.
Does Santa know when you're sleeping or when you're awake?
Yes.
Does he see everything? Yes.
What is the cut off age for receiving presents?
When the child is no longer a child. This is determined by each individual. It is when they begin to refer to themselves as adults or often when they yearn to be an adult. The moment that you no longer find being a child useful to your growth, they you cease being a child.
Very often; This is the point when most people become very poorly developed adults.

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Z-mass & Chrstmsa Quotes
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“Chrstmsa; The Terrible Taskmaster.” The Babynous Cult
“Quote” Source
“Quote” Source
“Quote” Source

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Haiku
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Unless Credited to Someone Else;
Most of These were Contrived by Babynous

Molecules adhere
To each other, like small words
In a Cold Haiku.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
A Cold Lost Sparrow
Sits beside a Chimney Spout
As Warm Smoke Rises.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Playmates keep calling—
With the early sun setting,
We sing in the dark.
/ —Sphere
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Do Not Open Until Christmas

I shake-shake,
Shake-shake
Shake the package well,
But what there is
Inside of it,
Shaking will not tell.
/ —James S. Tippett
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
That is suffering—
The agony of not knowing...
What Guatama meant.
/ —Ali Hassan
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
An Old Man in Red—
Sits worrisome in the dark,
Cutting children back.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Snow Geese fall asleep
When their small heads are removed
For a festive lunch.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Goosehead soup – So fine!
Practicing “No Mind” in the
Dead cold winter white.
/ —unknown
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
White flakes are falling...
The wonder in the child's face
—Eating yellow snow!
/ —David Green
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
A crust of hard bread
Thrown for a small cold sparrow
Then– Cat is fed too.
/ —David Green
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Odorous Reindeer
On a precarious rood,
Think; How sad is life.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Cat at the window
Watches the first snow falling,
So pleasant inside.
/ —Droll
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Beggars Rhyme

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat,
Please to put a penny in the old man's hat;
If you haven't got a penny, a ha’penny will do,
If you haven't got a ha’penny, God bless you.
/ —anon
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
When the cold wind blows
A thin grey mouse, with ear muffs
Hears forgotten love.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
He who rides the ox
Has calmed his passionate self
Into the sunset.
/ —Ali Hassan
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
He who rides reindeer
Has calmed his impulsive self
Stands atop the world.
/ —Ali Hassan
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
A forest of trees
Become gay joyous papers
& Then damp brown sludge.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
A dull homely girl
Sits beside a frosty window
& Dreams of calm sleep.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Like a young child
Seeing the world as it is
How beautiful.
/ —David Green
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Weather beaten dolls
Wait for the new toys to break
To be loved again.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
The blessed angels
Darkly hover over children
Whispering cruel fates.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Old cranberry sauce
Tastes funny on cold burnt toast,
& Worse coming up.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
A wondrous gift
Sent from The Gawd almighty
Never seen as such.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Tall children screeching
Huddling together on steps
Pretending to sing.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
There is nothingness
Hiding in the great parade
Of this holiday.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Dad gets drunk
On Chrstmsa sherry
So does the cat.
/ —Jenz
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Axis turns again,
From green to red-gold, yellow,
Brown, then somber white.
/ —Ali Hassan
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Whiteness & whiteness
A thick blizzard stupefies
Ones mind into Zen.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Decay of the truth–
In the moment of being,
A tree blown over.
/ —Sphere
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Roots up in the air,
Broken branches everywhere,
Behold the calm sky.
/ —droll
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Eggnog & scotch warms–
The early holiday heart
Sad head in toilet.
/ —David Green
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Freezing rain & snow
Made for a horrible mix,
If you're sitting down.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Bright grass in the sun
Turns a sad hazelnut grey
When gawd’s heart turns cold.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
A thoughtless present
Is hiding beneath the tree
Waiting for hot tears.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
That night Susie waits
Peaking at the chimney hole
Blinks & misses Klaus.
/ —Kathy J. Martin
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
A sugar cookie
& Tepid milk wait past two–
Still remain at dawn.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Snowflakes quietly
Dropping from Heaven above
Vibrate secret truths.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
A joyous tiding
That’s hiding in a worn sock
Is eaten by mice.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
A red tricycle
Can't be ridden that morning,
Thumb-nut is missing.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
A round jovial
Turkey finds peace in the gloom
Of a glad dinner.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Cirrus wisps above
The land of once forgotten
Promising flowers.
/ —Sphere
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Thirty pine needles
Don't burn beside hot bulbs
Instead; They explode!
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Jolly Santa Klaus
Hugs all the little hamsters
quietly in the dark.
/ —Kathy J. Martin
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Frosty patterns
That appear on chilly panes
Come from gawd, Sneezing.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
The wold somersaults
Around the sun, & a year
Passes unnoticed.
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Haiku
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Haiku
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·

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Origin of Chrstmsa Tree was integrated from Norse Traditions
In which in order to worship their Thunder Gawd, they would sacrifice humans & animals at the base of A Thor’s Oak.
You know who did notice? Christian missionaries. They notice everything. So, one missionary of the Christian persuasion, Winfred (aka Saint Boniface), came upon an imminent sacrifice and sternly disapproved. He took an ax and chopped down Thor's freaking oak, which in itself should make him some sort of god by default. Of course, because of his boring ass monotheistic beliefs, instead of declaring himself the god of thunder, Winfred focussed on a tiny little fir tree that grew from the hacked trunk. And as all Cracked readers likely know, the fir trees' triangular shape represents the Trinity, and voila, a Christian tradition was born.
However the tree did not, according to legend, spring out of the ground with little blinking lights and tin foil on it's branches. The thing with decorating the tree goes as far back as the 16th century, when people in Germany used to decorate their trees with apples, a tradition we can only assume stemmed from some crooked tree salesman who ran out of apple trees one year and wouldn't admit it. Other decorations included nuts and cheeses which again appears to be the same salesman testing the gullibility of his clients.
A guy brought the tradition to America in the 1800s, and when we say "a guy" we literally know who it was: a German immigrant named August Imgard. He was the first to stick little candy canes on it, and to put a star at the top. Whatever German strand of mental imbalance caused him to do that, this guy's spur-of-the-moment decoration idea now utterly pervades the imagery of the holiday. He was just a very bored German dude that needed a place to hang his candy canes.
( Stolen from Wikipedia / e.g., Kristi Harrison )

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ChrstmsayIdea

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ChrstmsayIdea

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