More Trouble & A New Gematria Idea

i got in trouble at the library the other day
And it got me to reflect on how i am always getting into
The most amount of trouble for the least offensive behaviour,
And the least amount of trouble for my most egregious behaviour.

There was this one time in Hawai'i after i had gotten into this very, very mischievous behaviour; That i suspect may have driven this one lady clinically insane...
That resulted; Ultimately, in No Trouble at all...
( Minus The Grievous Intermediate Nonsense )

What happened was this;
Some time after The Undisclosed Mischief;
i was walking along one of the streets in Honolulu and this lady cop in a little scooter calls me over to talk to me...
And she apparently got on the radio, reporting that she had =found= me...
Because there were soon a dozen more police scotters and police cars surrounding me...!!!

Then The Severe Craziness Starts...

The lady cop that originally stops me begins to engage me in light conversation.

It might also be noted that i have Asperger's
And possibly as a consequent of that;
i just never lie.
i may tell crazy stories from time to time, but i never lie.
i just don't.

So this lady cop; Who is very nice, Is talking to me,
And all these other police cars are parking all over the streets near by,
And pulling up on the lawns and so on...
But no one else is approaching...
It's just me standing there, talking with this nice lady cop.
And it absolutely clear to me What she has stopped to talk to me about,
But she keeps dancing around it...???
And i am very friendly too,
And answer all her questions with absolutely candid honesty...

All she has to do is just Ask Me: Blah Blah Blah...?

And i would answer honestly...
But She Doesn't...!!!

Whaaaa...???

As am as mystified as anyone.
And it is clear from all my answers
That She Must Know that i am As Guilty as Hannibal Lector for The Unspecified Mischief,
But she is loath to breach the subject...???

What is going on here...???

It is very mysterious.

So after about 20 minutes; She tells me to be good and lets me go...!

- -
That is at one extreme.

At the other Extreme;
i once got fired from a job that i hated for joking with a fellow employee.
We were talking about everything under the sun at the coffee break one afternoon and i looked up at the clock and noticed that it was time to go to work---
i stood up and said; "Well, If we're not going to talk about your sex life, i'm leaving." And i left.

i got fired for that.

The other day at the library;
i got read the riot act by a library administrator,
That brought The Library Security Guard* with him;
Because i was alleged to have harassed a librarian janitor that was emptying waste baskets.

What did i do to her?

By the account that the administrator provided to me,
i was sitting at the table, fooling around on my computer,
Looking at Flickr Images;
While this librarian assistant was behind me,
With my back turned to her---
i was alleged to have moved my computer screen in a suggestive manner.

Apparently;
She thought that image i was looking at was Pornographic**,
And i had moved my screen so that she would be forced against her will to see it.

i hate getting yelled at.

- - -
Slight Digressions:
* This Security Guard is very short, and if you ever try to ask him something,
he will just turn and walk away.
** Pornography has a lot in Common with Democracy & Intelligence... In that none of these terms mean anything. Alternately; They can mean whatever you want them to mean. When you use them in A Specific Carefully Shaped Context;
You are inviting your listeners to Interpret what you are saying with their most favorable ( to your cause ) Understanding... ( ? )
- - -

It seems that the ratio for Mischief = Trouble -vs- Benign = Indifference
is very close to Zero While The Opposite is Very Close to 100%.

Two other times that i got yelled at for NOT doing something that the person yelling at me was sure that i was doing, and then discovering that i wasn't doing it, or hadn't done it at all...
Proceeded to yell at me anyways.

gawd i hate that.

i can't think of a single occasion when i got in trouble for doing something really bad...

But it's always the case that i get in The Most Trouble for The Most Benign Behaviour.
Of course; There are plenty of occasions when i Don't get into Trouble of Benign Behaviour.
It requires a special set of circumstances, So that Benign + Some Kooky Peripheral Circumstances will evoke unprovoked trouble...

???

- - -
The New Gematria Idea

i was reading some of Wm Jaz' posts the other day and he is on this weird kick of relating popular songs and media material to 911, suggesting that they somehow were precognicent of that event...???
And my complaint was that if it is Now Thoroughly Established that The Great Cabbage, Troll Queen or Braman were somehow, ingeniously inserting all these secret messages into all of our media source materials...
Then it should be possible by some simply & elegant manner to extract them...
Before The Event that they are describing-- Happens...!

What might this process be?

If the message were simply sitting on The Surface of The Material;
Then all you would have to do, is piece it together by seeing the relationships between the allegorical references & their plain English Citations...!

The Method by way of The Gematria...
Would require that The Key be easily Accessible;
The Reference Target Sums would be Equally Obvious;
And The Manner by Which The Sums could be Derived be Obvious.
The Whole Point of The Extraction of The Message Must Be that It is Simple & Elegant...
As we are no doubt familiar with Over Wrought Number Games that are able to Connect The Most Improbable & Suspicious Conclusions from Data that has been cooked to mush.

The Method by Which True Messages & Revelations are Derived
Must be Easy to Use, and The Same Method must Prove itself again & again without deviating from It's Original Form.
Fudging & The Smallest Corrections must Never Be Allowed.
No Subjective Interpretations will be Needed.

From What Little work i've done with The Gematria...
i think i have A Method which Yield Consistent & Remarkable Results...

As soon as i learn how to use Chipmunk Basic.

Chipmunk Basic is a nice enough programming language,
But working with strings has confused me terribly...!!!

The Core Idea is This:
Take a Poem, News Story, Short Novelette, Encyclopedia Entry or Correspondence letter...
And count up all the A's.
That sum in the value of A.
Repeat with The B's & b's , C's & c's and so on...
This Letter to Quantity List is your Key.
Now Examine The Text Block for Reference Numbers or Choose a Date; Year, Month & Day and These Numbers are your Targets.
You may also find Target Sums by Adding all The Characters from Each Line of Text.
Or Find Allegorical References in The Way of Some Value, as they relate to some character in The Text or A Desired Celebrity whose Future Life Event is Desired...???

Then Simply Apply The Key to The Block of Text; Looking for Phrases, Works &/or Anagrams that Match The Target Values.

i would fully expect the result will be amazement...
As This Method has Never Failed me.