Saturday, December 28, 2013
1:56:49 PM
Predictions for 2014
More & More Babies will
be born with 6 or 7 Fingers on each hand.
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A Well Established Media
Whore will be Involved in a Scandal concerning Incest & An Unfamiliar
Religion or Cult
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3D Printers will establish
a New Level of Resolution that allow them print custom CPUs &/or Fully
Functional Electronic Devices.
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The First Generation of
PreCogitators will become available as a Hand Held Device that will largely
supersede ‘Tablets’. These PreCogitators will becomes most people’s best
friends & Civilization will begin to slide away from under us.
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A Large Commercial Airliner
will plow through a Densely Populated City as The Result of Pilot Error.
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A Method of Generating
Gravity Waves will be Disclosed; Then Debunked, then Resurrected with
Uncertainty.
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A New ‘Steady State’
Movement of Young Professional Astronomers will Refute The Big Bang Conjecture.
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A New Kind of ‘Math’ will
be revealed & will sweep through many Public Schools; Then removed along
with many of its advocates.
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There will be New
Irrefutable Evidence that The U.S. Government is actually a Autocratic
Dictatorship & has been since 1951.
All The Presidents, Congressmen, Senators & The Supreme Court have been
Impotent puppets.
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Nudism will sweep through
Europe.
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Africa will produce three
new potentially pandemic diseases.
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Polygamy & Polyandry
will be legalized in five states.
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Japan will start a New
Movement to Remove all traces of Westernization from their Islands.
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A Perpetual Motion Machine
that produces a startling amount of excess energy will be demonstrated in
several venues, then mysteriously disappear without explanation.
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Hillbilly Chic will become
amazingly popular, accompanied by their own Music, which will have
substantially evolved from Traditional Folk Banjo Music.
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Cuba will discover a New
Source of Fabulous Wealth & Buy Florida, Georgia & Louisiana, saving
The US from Economic Collapse.
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Women ( lesbian couples )
will discover a way to make babies without men.
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Men ( Gay Couples ) will
discover a ( Theoretical ) way to make babies without women, but The Method
will be stymied by The required Necessity of a yet UnInvented Artificial Womb
& The Illegality of Using Chicken Eggs to Host Their Human DNA.
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Flying Saucers will remain
very mysterious.
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A Bigfoot will be Captured
& discovered to have a very high Non-Linguistic Intelligence.
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Post Vegetarianism will
begin with The Creation of A Very Nutritious CandyBar made entirely from
Non-Organic Raw Materials.
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An UnSpecified Post
Terrorist Group ( One Worlders ) will Sink an American AirCraft Carrier.
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Spain will Very
Unexpectedly Land Men & Women on The Moon & remain there for several
months.
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It will become clear that
Australia will be the Next Principle World SuperPower within 10
years.
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The SuperCyclotron will
almost destroy The World by creating a Black Hole that will ( mercifully ) pass
through The entire Earth before flying off into space.
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Pluto will be reinstated as
a planet.
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An Entirely New Kind of
Artificial ‘Life’ will be Created Using DNA Bases Unlike Our ATCG’s.
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Scientists in South America
will produce a Flying Penguin.
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A New Street Drug will make
anyone ( permanently ? ) fall in love with you. The Drug works by ‘Impressing’
The Subject of their love on The First Person they see after taking The Drug.
The Window of Impressing is opened for between 5 & 40
minutes of ingesting The Drug.
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Ugly People will Riot in
The Streets demanding Social Equality.
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A Dog will be taught to
Speak.
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A Ground Hog will be found
that can paint recognizable images.
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A New Method of ‘Climbing’
Inclines will replace Stairs.
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A Disease which makes
people smarter will threaten world civilization.
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Robots will become
Ubiquitous.
- - -
Electrical Cords &
Overheard Power Lines will begin disappearing.
- - -
Elevators ( Taxivators )
that move sideways will begin appearing.
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There will be multiple
instances of live births of two headed babies.
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India will feature more
anomalous phenomena.
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A Pod Blue Whales will
beach Themselves somewhere ( ?
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The Winter of 2014
will be amazingly cold throughout North America & Europe.
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A Famous person will
Spontaneously Combust.
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An Object that defies
identification will fall to Earth in South America. It will be Reported in The
First World Nations, but only as a Joke Story.
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It will be widely revealed
that DNA is UnAccountable for Fetal Development. Intron Sequences will be used
to explain The missing processes, but these will be shown to be specious, as
will Morphic Fields & Maternal factors. A New theory of Parasitic Bacterium
& Virus that Self Organize our Available DNA into Complex Structures will
become The New Paradigm for Fetal Fabrication.
- - -
Internet Crimes will become
The New ( de-facto ) War on Terrorism, allowing The elimination of Airport
Screening Stations & Domestic Spying.
This will also herald The
Introduction of A New & Improved Internet that will be more like an On-Line
Encyclopedia.
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Universal ID Numbers will
Replace & Supersede Social Security Numbers, Driver’s License Numbers,
Birth Certificates, Passports & Be Used as an All Purpose Phone Number
& Email Address. Since The System will then Track you everywhere you go, it
will also replace your home address & be used to deliver mail to you
wherever you are. These Numbers will be Biogenetically Bound to Each
Individual, making Identity Theft ( Nearly ) Impossible.
Adults that wish to Opt-Out
of this system can do so; But they become essentially non-Citizens &
forfeit their ability to use money, The Internet or own any electronic devices.
- - -
Prisons will begin to be
replaced with Ner’er-do-well towns, where Career Criminals, Sociopaths &
Scoff-Laws will be sent to live Permanently. These will be quite ordinary towns
in most respects, but The level of supervision & isolation from The ‘Real’
world will make them subtly different.
- - -
License Plates on Cars will
disappear as each car will soon possess a unique electronic identity that will
reveal it’s location & activity at all times.
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Regional Security will
become so pervasive that many people will stop locking their doors again.
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Some Public Schools &
Parents will stop teaching children to read.
- - -
A New Method of Dry-Organic
Data Manipulation will begin replacing Electronics.
- - -
A New Theory of Matter will
make The Table of Elements Obsolete.
- - -
The Reason why The Speed of
Light is The Speed of Light will Revolutionize & Revitalize Physics,
Throwing Quantum Mechanics & Special Relativity out The Window.
- - -
The Reason why we didn’t
establish Moon Colonies will be revealed, Horrifying nearly everyone.
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Young People will start a
new fad of surgically adding a third eye to The foreheads.
- - -
An International League of
Gentleman Warriors will begin Policing The World, eliminating regional &
national Armies & Navies.
- - -
ElectroMagnetic Pollution
will finally be found responsible for The Growing Numbers of Autistic Children.
- - -
The Principle cause of
Adult Mortality will be Brain Tumors.
- - -
Faery Folk, Human Like
Skeletons of Ancient Giants & Remote Viewing will be recognized as real.
- - -
Homelessness will become a
viable intercity lifestyle.
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Doors will begin
disappearing as they will be replaced with Venetian Walls.
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TransSexuals will be The
New Gay.
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A Stilt-Like Pogo-Stick
Legs Device will replace Bicycles.
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Air Travel will Plummet as
Proximal Tourism & Proximal Business Communications will make Meeting
People & Seeing Things Obsolete.
- - -
Virtual Fantasy Vacations
will replace Travel Vacations.
- - -
The Bed-Ridden Elderly will
become Robot Sentries that will tirelessly patrol our cities.
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Amorphous Spots of Light on
The Wall will replace dogs & cats as pets.
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Ant Poison will be The New
LSD.
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National &
International News Organizations will Disappear with The Advent of Tiered
Hierarchal Gossip Apps, Resulting in many long standing Conspiracies finally
being exposed.
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Ink & Graphite
Industries will collapse, marking a shift in economic foundations to
transparent materials for all industrial & manufacturing applications.
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The New Catch Phrase will
become; “Don’t force me to use magic on you!”
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Bugs will be observed to
becoming bigger.
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States that still Execute
Prisoners will switch from Lethal Injection to Publicly held Raves with
Burnings at The Stake.
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The Republican &
Democratic Parties will be replaced by The Juniper Raspberry Coalition &
The Six-Legged Muskrat Amalgamation of JarHeads.
- - -
Helium Balloons will be
outlawed, Siting a More Urgent Need for Helium, but this Reason will not be
disclosed.
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The American Flag will be
changed to A Design that has Left-Right Symmetry so that it can’t be
‘Reversed’.
- - -End ( ? )
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