Tuesday, June 27, 2000

Deana E. Crabtree's Cabbage Code

Introduction:

i've been told that Deana's GPA was 4.0 when she was in School, but in the little time that i've been exposed to her; She has confirmed one of my on-going hypothesis' that students with 4.0's to even 3.5's are not the brightest students.
The best, the brightest, the genuinely smartest, the true genius' are the students with the 2.8's to 3.2's.
They can't help but do marginally well, but they don't really care about all the crap that the schools are trying to enculturate them with.

The 4.0's are the dumb, over achievers, that have bought into the lies.

On the simplest level of reflection; You should expect that the 4.0's are genius'...
And yet; If this were true, Why are they still in The Public School System...?
It might be: That they are The Not Quite Genius',
But i suspect that this would be a slanderous thing to say about The Real SubGenius'.

If this analysis is correct then;
Why- According to my model,
Are the genius' still in The Public School System,
Getting mediocre grades?

Because The Special Schools for Socially Approved Genius' are tooled to Students that have bought into the lies, But have, nevertheless; Special Skills that can't simply be ignored and crushed.
Many of these Special Skills are perfectly harmless to the established order, and might as well be encouraged, and if anyone does accuse the established order of suppressing genius', then they can point to these Music Conservatories, or Sports Camps and say; See— We're encouraging our young people with special talents.

If you have a child that is getting by with a 3.2 GPA, but doesn't seem to care about anything, then you probably have a genius whose soul is being crushed.

A Recently Discovered Cabbage Code:

Deana Elizabeth Crabtree = 666

Anagrams for:

Deana Crabtree = a: Ace Bartender

Deana Crabtree = Be An Ace Retard

Deana Elizabeth Crabtree = Be The Erratic Daze; Be Anal

Deana Elizabeth Crabtree = Be A Trained Blaze Cheater

Deana Elizabeth Crabtree = An Heretical Zebra Debate

Deana Elizabeth Crabtree = Be A Zed Beet; Ire Charlatan

Deana is my Niece and while you may choose to reasonably disbelieve this;
Her License Plate Number is NLG 666 ( No Lord God 666 )
Crashed sometime in 2007?

( Sorry that i didn't include a picture of it! )

Her Cabbage Code Key is:


.9..19..28..37..46..56..65


.A...B...C...D...E...F...G

.....H.......I.......J....

.........K.......L........

.....M...N...O...P...Q....

.........R.......S........

.............T............

.........U.......V........

.....W.......X.......Y....

.............Z............



The Significance of The Numerical Values are:


9 = The First NonPrime Perfect Square


19 = The Last Year of Childhood


28 = Days in a Lunar Cycle


37 = Number of Characters on her Head Stone


46 = Number of times that she failed to flush the toilet when i was staying with my sister & her


56 = Number of Soiled Panties under her bed


65 = The Last Year of Sanity for Most People

-----------------------------------------:: o

Each word or phrase = 56
Man = War

Each word or phrase = 83
Tao = Te

Each word or phrase = 103
Worm = Baby = Human
Dumb = Charm

Each word or phrase = 111
Meat = Head

Each word or phrase = 123
Cosmos = Miracle

Each word or phrase = 129
Cave = Lake
Sex = Tail

Each word or phrase = 148
Zero = Null
Bleak = Fate = Poor
Naked = Cold

Each word or phrase = 167
Bad Drama = The Car
Bad Name = Mars Car
Atomic = Fire

Each word or phrase = 148
Best = Pure
Cold = Death

Each word or phrase = 175
Love = Vulva = Lies

Each word or phrase = 176
America = Blood = Cruel = Vomit
Indian = Scream
Free = Good

Each word or phrase = 185
Niece = ...
Natural = Sexy = Sex War = Vain Car
Sexy = Siren = Semen = Breast = My Lava
Amoebae = Sea Crab = An Animal = Odd DNA
Mental = I Bile = Dada Coma = Hamas Tao
Clone = Bad Ball = Bar Load

Each word or phrase = 194
Mars Tea = Has Canada
The Pad = Same DNA
Mixed =Dada Rant = Adam's Cat
Angel = Heaven
Grave = Pluto

Each word or phrase = 195
Romance = Winter = Sorrow

Each word or phrase = 203
Alcatraz = Island
Exist = Solid

Each word or phrase = 204
American = Cannibal
Hollow = Empty
Oklahoma = Mexico
Floor = Beneath

Each word or phrase = 213
Ancient = Cosmos
Green = Orange
Scholar = Logic

Each word or phrase = 223
Marijuana = Nowhere
Mountain = Cliff

Each word or phrase = 224
Hungry = Humor(131 + New(93
Highway = Humor Coma

Each word or phrase = 230
Sleep = Valhalla

Each word or phrase = 231
Hamas Sex = I Slime
Sun Lake = An Angel

Each word or phrase = 232
Demonic = Psycho = Jehovah = Judge = Immortal
Abortion = Booger
Galaxy = Bottle = Prison

Each word or phrase = 233
Conform = Whoring

Each word or phrase = 241
Whisper = Tongue

Each word or phrase = 250
Foetid = Obscene

Each word or phrase = 259
Hellish = Fascist
Ultimate = Strange = Reality = Golden = Angelic

Each word or phrase = 268
Emptied = Darkness
Peyote = Ecstasy

Each word or phrase = 269
Innocent = Children
Computer = Lucifer

Each word or phrase = 287
Destroy = Oblivion

Each word or phrase = 296
Pacifist = Poverty
Irrational = Pentagon

Each word or phrase = 297
UnGodly = Werewolf

Each word or phrase = 298
Crazy Bitch = Humanimal Crab = Horror Cunt = Morbid Blob
Witchcraft = Running War = Atomic Humor = Broken Horn
Bad Gyzym = Demonic Bum = Human Sorrow = Icy Cough
Who? Rat Fink! = New Twinky = Baby Ghoul
Butcher Bash = Fun Murder = Known Crime = Alamo Rhythm
Coma Memory = Madtown Cry = Howl Within = Muddy Brain
Terror Bomb = Cannibal Womb = Holy Fuck = Angry Bug
Dumb Hotrod = Worm Winter
Night Tomb = Naught Hour = Junk Music

Each word or phrase = 314
Capitalism = Genitals

Each word or phrase = 324
Barbie Doll = Terrorist

Each word or phrase = 354
Intelligent = Transcendental

Each word or phrase = 352
No Lord God
Invincible
Compulsion
Hysterical
Ping Pong
I Golgotha
An Eternity
Irrational Man
Narcissus War
Dreadful Car
Bad Epiphany
Spectral Bum
Lucifer Tao
Suicidal Bath
Paradise Bomb
Foetid Pun
Catatonic Roar
Dumb Villain
Zen Madhouse

Each word or phrase = 334
Tao Nothing = Sea Gyzym
Dao Whiskey = Sea Mercury

Each word or phrase = 351
Madness Alamo = Divided Saw
Railroad Same = And Roadside
Package Vain = Visible DNA = Catalog Tear
Secret Wall = Adam Leaving
Harpies Ode = To Tortilla
Against Canada = Potent Task
National Talk = Has Specter
Fallen Ball = Up Pavement
Vampire Top = Ash Hippies

Each word or phrase = 361
Best Scholar = Escape High
Cold Cosmos = Naked Kitten = Escape Crown
Fate: Sanity = Escape Known
Poor Fetus = Escape Bench
Rotten Animal = Fuck Escape = Bleak Nudist
Zero Towards = Escape From
Null Miracle = Escape John
Bile Syntax = Pure Logic
Next Square = Deaf Circle

Each word or phrase = 380
Worst Scholar = My Princess
World Kitten = By Plotinus
Ancient Shadow = Who: Universe
Blind Sphinx = Sinister Cum

Each word or phrase = 407
Demonic Love = Desolate Baby
State Criminal = Collapse / Burn

Each word or phrase = 415
Ancient Mars = The Sphinx

Each word or phrase = 417
New Congress = Pederasty Bum

Each word or phrase = 436
Motorcyclist = Unemployment

Each word or phrase = 444
Without Sleep = Impossible Car
Valhalla Suburbs = Bad Cemeteries
But: Solipsism = Sea Theology

Each word or phrase = 464
Hungry Plague = Mohammedan Empire
Closed Highway = Hometown Prison

Each word or phrase = 471
State Pacifist = Opium Especial
Paper Clitoris = Worst Glasses
Irrational Space = World Disappear
Vulva Narcissus = Uranus Desolate
Lies Pentagon = Their Collapse

Each word or phrase = 547
Electrified Worm = Eternal Gymnasium

Each word or phrase = 666
Comprehensible Love
Investigating Death
Natural Consciousness
Propositional Romance
Contemplating Prose
Conversational American
Intelligent Logic
Internationale Nudist
Transcendental Fetus
Electrified Hero
Jesus / Skull And Bones
Drunken Kaleidoscope
Demonic Intellectual
Eternal Electricity
HetroSexual MadHouse
Follow The Damp Masses
Hallucinating Villain
Illuminating Despair
Frankenstein Parakeet
Obscene Advertising
Instantaneous Solomon
Instinctive Suicide
Darkness Disgorged
Suicidal Pilgrimage
Children, Themselves
Successive Victory
Innocent Secretaries
University Hippies
Distributed Academies
Intoxication Protest
Divided Hallucination
Leaving Illumination
Government Leaflet
Spectral Synagogue
Dreadful Metropolis
Tenement Cemeteries
Impossible Algebraic
Juxtaposed Epiphany
Xi Point Six Oblivion
Forgotten Salvation
Clitoris Revolution
Occupational Poverty
Starving Pentagon
UnGodly Testicles
Sensitive Werewolf
Dismember Ourselves
Sinister Crossbones
Universal Controller
Lonesome Generation
Asperger's Condition
Vibrating Vegetable
Solipsism Incarnation
Invisible Terrorist
Trembling Ecstasies
Continuous Elevation
MonoSexual Sweetheart
Nostalgic Cigarette
Hysterical Capitalism
Incomparable Spinster
Fractional Intellect
Resurrect Pederasty
Elemental Theology
Spangled Imagination
Therefore Obsessed
Visionary Ugliness


Mirrored Sums
56) Man : Car (65
56) War : Bad (65
184) Alive : Consciousness (481
194) Amnesia : Comprehensible (491
344) Committing : Kaleidoscope (443
354) Tinky Winky : Transcendental (453

-----------------------------------------:: o

The Reasons that i think Deana is probably clinically retarded.

Never speaks in full sentences
Never says anything clever or witty
Has no appreciation for humor or wit
Doesn't have a website or blog
Has no ( viable ) creative hobbies
Has no books ( except for romance novels )
Exhibits Faux Reading Behaviour,
In which she carries around a large book,
Pretending to read it.
Pedantic collection of DVD's Games.
Doesn't seem to have any functional programs on her computer,
Such as a word processor, or any for graphic/photo manipulation
Uses a wintel computer
Has a laptop computer,
But uses a tiny plugin mouse with it.
Has never gotten the hang of using the trackpad.
Consistently sultry without the charm of goth
Unable or unwilling to flush a toilet
Never says anything original
Prone to hissy fits
Swears
Confused by distinction between solemn & serious
- - -


You might be asking:
Why am i being so mean?

the problem is the dichotomy between expectations & the actual disclosure of her intelligence.
for the last several years, i was made to believe that deana was very bright, but then i met her, and discovered that she's not especially bright at all.

i was set up for a grand disappointment.

it was such a exasperating fiasco.

Additional Deana Posts:

Problem with Deana's Traveling Coffee Mug
Supernatureal Insight




1 comment:

Hylobates Lar said...

Good to see another Cabbage Code after so much time.